#queermequeeryou

XV.

The funeral. Ruby was trying to let her thoughts make her float in bitterness. She felt bad, guilty, at the same time holding Blanca’s hand made her able to stand. She wanted it to stop, to finish, to just pass away. She regretted the relationship with Angie at all. They could be friends, she was so wonderful person, instead of hurting her more she could just be supportive. It was no time for excuses, though. There was a dinner after the funeral. Dolores went with Angélica’s mother. Ruby said she needs to get back home. A long compassing hug. Not working. When they went home, Blanca took Ruby in her arms and looked lovingly into her eyes. She could not find her. Ruby kissed her lips deeply, passionately, with a force she did not know before. She pushed her on the bed with rage bulging inside. Their kisses were strong, long, orgasmic. Surprisingly, it was satisfying for Blanca too. She did not say a thing, she just opened her legs wider when Ruby was kissing her face, neck and then, stomach. Ruby took off her shirt or more precisely, tore it apart, then unzipped Blanca’s dress. She stopped though like she got reminded of something. “Is it okay?” asked Ruby trying to catch air. Blanca nodded and moaned. She knew it was what Ruby needed now and that she would never hurt her. Blanca took her own lingerie off and started to rub her lower parts, inviting. Ruby moved fingers inside, she was pressing, massaging deeply, rapidly. Spams of pleasures were going threw Blanca’s body. Ruby stopped and kissed her lips again. She took some oils from the drawer. Blanca laughed with satisfaction holding her finger in her mouth flirtatiously. Then Ruby took a white vibrator with a moving head. She put the oils inside Blanca’s vagina, with special touch on her clitoris which made her shiver and then put on that vibrator while kissing her from time to time too. Her orgasm was inevitable. Strong, deep and long. She closed her eyes and made a long sight. The white substance went outside. Blanca kneeled towards Ruby and put her hand into her, moved it up and down few times. Ruby moved her strongly closer but older woman’s ass was now on her front. She rubbed Blanca repeatedly which made her scream and then let her lick fingers. Then Blanca pushed her back on the bed and went down on her, switching it with some fingering. Ruby came and her eyes were showing this silently. Then, Ruby took a dildo from the drawer and put it insider Blanca. “Backside” she whispered, breathless, all wet and sticky. Ruby fucked her in the ass while still massaging her clitoris when it was possible. Blanca screamed even harder and this time she had a fountain of cum out of her insides. The best sex she could ever imagine. And “Slave to Love” by Bryan Ferry on the radio meanwhile, again. Blanca came back to consciousness when the sun was already shining a little bit. She saw Ruby massaging her vagina with a tired face. She closed her eyes for a moment. “Love, you should get some sleep. Come on here” she said but Ruby pushed more. After a moment she stopped and burst into tears. “It’s okay” said Blanca and helped her to lie nearby. She hugged her supportably.  Ruby’s hands were smelling. The smell of Blanca’s satisfaction.   “What’s going on?” asked the older woman after a while. “Nothing. It’s just grief. I thought I’d focus on making love to you and it will make it feel better or at least bearable” said Ruby. Blanca smiled and kissed her, thank got her gaze back on her eyes. “Love, as a matter of fact, I’m exhausted. Exhausted because of the pleasure you gave me. I have never had that strong... you know”. “I could drink you all the time” said Ruby with a smile. “I think we are both still very horny but we need to get some sleep. And besides, your mother is probably going to be back soon” said Blanca while caressing Dylan’s hair. They fell asleep.

*

I.

Rubi was lying in her bed, awaken by early rays of sun that were playing around. She did not want to continue sleeping but neither she stood up. She was focusing her gaze on the beautiful woman that was sleeping next to her. She felt very happy that Angie was so close and that they met again, after five years to be reunited in a new way. Rubi admired her boldness to fight for being real. They were very often talking about her transition process and Angie was always eager to open up to her even though nobody besides her father knew about the fact she was transgender. Later on, they have also decided to tell Rubi’s parents and as expected, they had no issue with that at all. They were well-educated and their daughter’s sexual preferences or gender identity of her fiancé were not important to them as long as she was happy. Rubi was thinking of officially proposing but she was already treating Angélica very seriously and was referring to her as ‘my fiancé”. She was sure her future was with her. When Angie woke up she kissed her good morning and they talked a bit about their plans for the upcoming weekend. Usually, Angie was not staying over for the night when Dolores Johnson was at home but this time she went away as well because she has had a painting session in Barcelona with her friends. That was a Friday morning but they have had a day free of theatre therefore they decided to have a cozy night before their trip to Seville. “I love you, Angie” said Rubi and kissed her girlfriends cheek. I tasted fresh and sweet. Rubi loved her natural smell which reminded her of their acting school times when everything seemed to be easy and careless because they were teenagers. “I’m so lucky that my love is mutual” she replied with a smile. “I will put on my makeup and prepare some breakfast for us”. She woke up but Rubi stopped her and held her hand gazing into her eyes. Rubi knew that Angie still had these doubts sometimes about being feminine enough. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world and I’m the luckiest one” said Rubi and kissed Angie’s hand.

*

They spent the morning lazily, eating and packing up for the trip. They worked till late hours yesterday because they were acting in a play. Shortly after midday, Rubi got her oldtimer, classic car out of the garage and they got on the road to Seville. They could not wait for this time. They always treasured this short weekend travels. Rubi put on a cassette. It was Bryan Ferry’s “Boys and Girls” album from 1985. Since Rubi could remember she has always had a taste in vintage things. That suited her perfectly. The weather was quite hot therefore she was wearing a colorful, oversize shirt and elegant suit pants. She packed her suit anyway as they were planning to go out in the evening. Angie was in a beautiful, summer dress, with flowery print on it. She decided to read a book as she used to do regularly. Sometimes, she read out loud so Rubi could also hear the story but sometimes like today, the butch was more into thinking mood. She got into the rhythm and smoke a cigarette. She was not a regular smoker but sometimes she was letting herself engage in this guilty pleasure. That song that have just started she loved a lot. “Slave to love”. It reminded her of impossible perfection, of first time she used to dance with Angie looking how her hips was smoothly moving while she was getting carried away in the rhythm of the song. However, she usually did not think about Angélica in particular when she was listening to it. Sometimes, she got reminiscences of heating times however not only with her. She was seeing in her mind some girls she met for one time in New York. She was recalling her previous girlfriends. This song was a definition of guilty pleasure for her.

*

When they arrived to Seville, they went to leave their luggage in the hotel room. First sight of the city has made them very excited to explore it therefore they quickly freshened up and went out. They started with a dinner. It was about four p.m when they were eating pasta and talking like always. Afterwards, they decided to attend the exhibition in Centro Andaluz de Arte Contemporáneo - Andalucian Museum of Contemporary Art. Soledad Sevilla’s installations has made Rubi feel indifferent and alone inside which was strange but she used to engage herself deeply in art. When they finished the tour, they had a coffee in the museum café) and discussed about their impressions. They both decided it was very touching and impressive as well as the other exhibitions that were on. Rubi has bought herself a Soledad Sevilla’s catalogue and Borges’ book “El Aleph” she was meaning to read for ages. Angie chose Caravaggio album in English. Then, they went for a long walk through the Real Alcázar gardens. Rubi has taken many beautiful shots of her love and they done few polaroids as well. They were definitely amused by Seville’s beauty. In the evening they went back to the apartment to change clothes and prepare for the night out. Rubi has put on her beautiful, dapper suit in black and matching suspenders. She looked elegant and handsome. Angie chose a red, shiny dress on straps. It was very much giving the 90s vibes. Alongside she had black high heels and huge, gold hoop earrings. She did not put a lot of makeup - she just done eyeliner, glued eyelashes and used a lip gloss. They had a light salad because they have eaten their lunch late today but did not want to have drinks with empty stomachs.

*

chapter 3

Dalida was extremely proud of Mahnaz and her recent success. She was sitting on the chair in front of her. Seeing a spark in Mahnaz’s eyes was making her happy and she could not wait for her to fullfill professional dreams. Dalida poured more wine into her glass and listened carefully to the whole story. The smell of black currant, clover and jasmine was very heavy in the air and the tailor felt like she was inhaling it into her lungs. Mahnaz always used a lot of fragnance but today it seemed like she used up the entire bottle.

“Love, what do you think? I see you floated somewhere. Are you here?” soft but worried Mahnaz’s voice helped her to wake up from the strike of thought.

“I’m sorry. Of course I’m there” Dalida took her partner’s hands. “I’m just extremely tired. I felt a little dizzy for a moment. Mahnaz, I’m incredibly proud of you. I love you so much and I’m head over heels now that you have this opportunity. You deserve it like no dancer and choreographer in this city”.

Dalida embraced her woman and kissed her on the cheek.

“I also have something else to talk about” Mahnaz took a brief gaze into her glass and then switched her attention back to the love of her life. “It’s about us. This project with Rihanna, it will take a month but I would like us to not fall apart. I thought we could decide on something”.

Dalida looked at her squinting her eyes, worried.

“Don’t worry” Mahnaz smiled widely. “Well, I don’t know when you plan on proposing to me but no problem. I thought we could discuss having a baby again. I mean, we already talked about it before. I thought we can find a surogate and this way we could be having it in a month”.

Dalida did not know if she should speak now or better wait if Mahnaz will say something more. It was quite surprising she wanted everything now.

“For the record, I’ve already proposed to you and you said yes” a hint of smile when through Dalida’s face.

Mahnaz agreed.

“Yes, it was a joke. We just didn’t choose the date. I don’t want to pressure us on anything but you know what? I recently thought about it all and maybe it’s just one project with Rihanna, nothing will change afterwards but it is also possible that I will have a turnover in my career. I’m worried that if we’ll not hurry, later it could be to late. Do you understand what I mean?” Dalida saw that her partner was really worried about it.

This was definitely not a good moment for planning let a lot deciding on something that big like having a child. Dalida felt guilty for sleeping with Pastora Galvano Porter but also she did not want to throw everything away because of this mistake. She just wanted to forget about it but at the same time she was not ready for children. However, she also felt it could help them to get closer. This was probably an immature idea and not the best one but Dalida could not say “no” to her woman. She smiled to her and kissed her hand.

“Mahnaz darling, yes. I would like to have a child with you. Let’s find the right surogate and start our family. About the wedding, I thought we could get married before you start working with Rihanna. What do you think about it?”

Mahnaz smiled.

“I also thought about that beforehand. Why don’t we get married on the video plan? I hope you will sometimes go there with me of course because I’m going to spend like eight hours a day there, five or six days a week for a month”.

Dalida laughed.

“You plan out something. Where will our child go to school? Have you decided? OK, I’m joking. I’m very happy you thought about everything because I’m terribly busy most of the time”.

Mahnaz stood up and finished her glass of wine. Without a word she took of her jacket and loosened few buttons of her shirt. She sat on a blue satin sofa and looked at Dalida suggestively. Dalida was staring at her, not even switching her attention view for a second. Finally, Mahnaz approached her and set on her lap. Dalida gave her a long, passionate kiss then she took off her partner’s shirt as well as her bra. She licked delicately her nipples as Mahnaz was breathing heavily.

                                                                  ~*~

chapter 2

[MUSIC]

Next morning at work Dalida needed to drink two coffees before she finally got more energy. Last night she did not managed to sleep much as Mahnaz kept her busy and invested. She was deeply in thoughts smoking a cbd joint when she heard a knock on the door. It was her assistant Bianca.

“Sorry for interrupting, miss Jefferson. I have somebody on the phone telling me it’s urgent and they call probably the tenth time today despite me telling them it’s advised to book a meeting with you through me”.

Dalida finished her cigarette and left the remainings in the glass ashtray she always kept on her old, wooden desk.

“No worries. Just pass me the talk, please. Thank you, Bianca” Dalida turned on the speaker on her landline phone. “Jefferson from Jefferson Suits, hello. How can I assist you?”

Some light breathing was heard on Dalida’s side. Then, a strong, feminine voice coughed shortly.

“It’s  Pastora Galvano Porter. John James Porter is my husband. I’m calling about the suit for him. I need to order it for a present. I have all the measurements and my expectations written. When could we discuss it further?” voice was very sharp and demanding.

Woman on the phone had a Latino accent and also her first name suggested that she was not American. Seemed to be very rude and not open for much negotations indeed.

“Unfortunately, I’m not able to give you the answer for this. I have to ask my assistant who has my schedule..”

Dalida could not continue though because Pastora broke in.

“Miss Jefferson, do you know who is John James Porter? I don’t need you to check anything. We have to meet today.” at first Dalida did not want to continue speaking but after some time she realized she actually has some time in the evening so what harm could a litle late homecoming do?

“Mrs. Porter, I have time at 9pm this evening. Would that work for you?”

There was a longer pause on the other side of the phone.

“Fine. Please, come over to my apartment. I will send the details to your assistant”.

“See you” Dalida finished the call abruptedly but there was nothing more to say.

She asked Bianca for a glass of water and lit another cigarette.

                                                          ~*~

New York in the summer was always a nightmare. Little hell on Earth. During the day it was hard to move faster then 2km per hour. Dalida was thankful for the help of her driver even though she loved to drive. It was a late afternoon, almost evening and Dalida was trying to get home to change, spend some time with Mahnaz and go for the meeting with Pastora afterwards. Jefferson felt her mobile vibrating in the pocket. It was her partner.

“Love, I can’t wait to tell you. The video I recorded with my group of students... do you remember it? I’m so excited... can you imagine Rihana texted me on Instagram and she said she wants to collaborate? At first I thought it’s just... you know. One message. Lowkey. But she asked me for my phone number and I was called by her agent. Rihanna wants me to direct the choreography for her new video and also she wants me to dance in it” Mahnaz was beyond excited.

Dalida was very proud. Her woman made a very long way. She could not wait to celebrate with her.

“Baby, I’m so proud of you. We will celebrate tonight. I will bring your favorite wine, we’re gonna stay up late, you’re gonna tell me all about that call from Rihanna and then, I’m gonna make love to you all night. How about that?”

Mahnaz laughed on the other side of the phone.

“It was not from Rihanna but her agent. And you have work tomorrow”

Dalida was not letting her win.

“Same thing. Yes, I have work but I’m my boss and I don’t care if I will go there with no sleep at all. I care about you and it’s all that matters”.

“You are crazy, Dalida Jefferson”

                                                         ~*~

Two hours have passed and Dalida was still on the highway, furious and tired. It was already 8pm. There was no option to get home before meeting with Pastora. She planned to spend few hours with Mahnaz, change clothes and go there for half an hour or so and then, get back to the celebrations. 

“Tobey, could you please just leave the highway and can we go straightly to my meeting?”

Next highway exit, they managed to get back to the city. On the way to Porter mansion, they even managed to stop by at the gas station. Tobey filled the car up with gasoline and Dalida changed her clothes in the toilet. She chose a satin navy suit, a plain white t-shirt and buckled loafers. She finished it all up with a dust of “Oud Wood”.  She brushed her hair with a basic black comb. She was ready.

Porter’s mansion was really as huge as they said. The house was very impressive. It was from Victorian era, mostly white but with many beautiful, breath-taking bas-reliefs and arches. Dalida was let in by the butler who showed her the way to the garden. Here she was, Pastora Galvano Porter.

First thing Dalida recognized when she was approaching Pastora was the strong, scent of her perufmes. Bergamot, jasmin, vetiver, musk, vanilla, patchouli. Jefferson immediately knew what it was. Chanel no 5. She was quite surprised because she has not smelled it for years. It reminded her of hot summer nights in Italy she spent with some elegant dame she used to be casually dating more than ten years ago. The other thing Dalida recognized was her strong attitude. The energy she was giving was uncanny. Pastora seemed to be the type that does not take “no” for an answer and will make you do whatever you want. It was a great contrast with Dalida’s lowkey mood she presented all the time. 

“Ms Jefferson. We’re meeting finally. Coffee, water, maybe something stronger?” Pastora accented the last word by squishing harder Dalida’s hand she shaked.

“Water, thank you” 

Pastora mirrored her unaudibly than crossed her legs. She adjusted her short pencil skirt and realized Dalida was looking at that part of her body. 

“These are the sketches. It’s what I want” said Pastora giving her a brief, satisfactory smile.

Dalida coughed and glanced through the drawings.

“What about the material? Any hints or wishes?

Pastora stood up and walked towards Dalida. Then, she bent down filling whole view Jefferson had with her cleavage and touched the jacket. After this, she put her hand on Dalida’s leg and moved it from her knee to the stomach. Then, she stood up and went back to her chair.

“I want this exact same material”.

Dalida took a big sip of water. She did not expect Pastora will be flirting with her. More importantly, Jefferson couldn’t help but enjoy the hell out of it. She felt this certain something in her underbelly. It was something she used to have only for her woman, her partner. Mahnaz. For years. It was not a good sign. 

“I want us to go inside so I can show you what suits my husband normally wears. Shall we?”

When they climbed upstairs to the wardrobe/dressing room, Pastora told her to sit down, made her a drink and just like that, she took off her jacket and blouse and stood there in her bra and skirt. Dalida was glancing at her quite surprised. Finally, Pastora took a jacket from the hanger and put it on. She looked very strange in her husband’s clothing. She turned around with an unbuttoned jacket showing everything and smiled.

“This is his jacket” she explained and smiled. “I will show you the material”.

Pastora approached Dalida and bent down, make her touch the jacket. Jefferson felt the rush of heat inside but it was real hard when Pastora just unzipped her pants. She massaged the certain part for a while, then kissed Dalida passionately and whispered into her ear: stand up, sweetie.

She did so and took her pants as well as the clothing she wore underneath them. Pastora pushed her back to the chair. Then, Pastora performed a fellatio, fucking good fellatio that made Dalida cum very quickly. Pastora took a tissue and cleaned her mouth. Then she stood up from her knees and Dalida made her sit instead. Pastora smiled very satisfied. Dalida used her hands to massage her clitoris passionately. That made Porter breath heavily and moan. When she finished, she had an ejaculation. It was deep, strong, seemed to be quick but in reality took a long time.

Finally, Pastora picked up her clothes.

“Thank you. I’m waiting for the suit for my husband. You know the way out. It was a pleasure to meet you, Ms Jefferson” and just like that, she left the room.

Dalida was terrified, she did not know how this could happen. She went directly to the car where Tobey was waiting longer than it was expected and told him to get back home.

                                                                 ~*~ 

When she got home she saw wine bottle she sent for Mahnaz, all the food the woman prepared - everything prepared and left. There was a note as well: “I’m sorry Love, but I was exhausted. We will celebrate tomorrow. Love you”.

[MUSIC]

Dalida was never completely satisfied. She always aimed to reach the highest goal possible and yet when she fell, she was able to stand up and fight even harder. This was one of her traits she appreciated the most - strength. Despite all the fears, anxieties and doubts she happened to have at some point, she was never giving up. Not her. Because she loved life and she wanted to enjoy it as much as possible. One of the things that was satisfying and motivating for her the most was the success. However, that bastard was addictive as fuck as she used to describe it. She always kept it lowkey. One more award for the best tailor in the city - no big deal, another designer using her work on the catwalk - appreciate it, thanks, let’s move on. This was her. An introvert with a big heart who always turnt into a dancing crazy motherfucker when she drank few beers and hit the dancefloor. 

She always started her day at 5.00 am. First thing in the morning, she hit the gym and worked out for an hour or so. Afterwards, she sipped a smoothie made by her assistant on the way to the office. Around 6.30 the boss was at work drinking her first black coffee of the day and smoking a delicious cigarette. She was trying to decrease the amount of nicotine. Her other assistant was reporting everything that had to be done, she was listening carefully and planning the day out. Usually, around midday Dalida was heading to the workroom. She always made a mandatory small talk with her workers. They were never into haute couture so the company was hiring only eight tailors. After few minutes, she headed to her box where she could stay for hours sewing and measuring. The reason why she created and owned the company with suits was because she was passionate about sewing in a first place. Therefore, she never imagined being an owner who does not know the craft. She was a perfectionist. She could stay in the workroom till the very late hours and was very often the one closing it afterwards. She was not a celebrity, success-story-based-person enjoying her capitalistic life. She was a hard worker from the very beginning and it remained the same even after her breakthrough.

Her wardrobe was very simple. Few all-black t-shirts, one white, one gray,  many socks, few simple underpants (she never wore bras and as she had not a lot going on in that area she was relieved and happy to not be forced to do so). Of course the main part of her clothing collection were her suits. All of them made by her except one Versace men suit she was given by Donatella during last year’s NY Fashion Week in fall. She owned about thirty suits. They were also monochromatic, no bright colors as she did not like them. Close to the wardrobe, there were also here shoes. Loafers with different patterns, some with a little extra belt, some of them just plain. She did not own anything made from natural leather, everything was as eco as possible as she believed she should held her responsibility for the Earth’s well-being. She also had nubuck shoes for less casual looks. She owned a pair of white sneakers and black heavy boots looking like just brought from the army as well. For perfumes, she loved the classic, cedar or tobacco smell. Her favorite one she repurchased over and over - Tom Ford’s “Oud Wood”. If she wanted to change something, she also had Gucci “Guilty” and Guerlain’s “Vetiver” on her shelves. Another important thing were ties. She did not like bows but ties - she paid a lot of attention to details, fabrics and how it was embroidered.

After a long, hard day today she just came back home and poured herself a glass of jack. took off her jacket and sit for a moment to smoke in peace. It was almost 10pm. Her girlfriend was not yet back. She also worked late and hard as a professional dancer and choreographer. A nice, calm night, everything dark. She embraced the moment breathing out the smoke like it was an asmr video.

Moment passed and she looked down at the street. She saw her girlfriend Mahnaz in a street lamp light. She wore that beautiful big hat. Mahnaz was accompanied by a person in a red dress. Few minutes later they were both upstairs; Dalida heard a key opening the door.

“Hi, What’s up?” started Mahnaz and immediately took off her high heels. “My feet are dying.

It looked like she forgot about it but after a moment Mahnaz reached Dalida and kissed her briefly.

“Oh, this is my student Samanta Galvano Porter” Mahnaz pointed at the woman in a red dress. “I promised her to give a CD with some salsa music, no idea who’s the musician, it’s a compilation that I think will work perfectly for her next gig. Please, give me a second, I’ll bring it”.

Was Dalida surprised? Well, Mahnaz has never brought any students to their house. Was Dalida jealous? Frankly, not. She trusted her.

“You have a big, beautiful place” seemed like the girl was into having a conversation.

“Oh, yeah. It was planned to the very details so, we are glad, the effect is what we wanted”

The girl looked intensively into Dalida’s eyes until the point she felt uncomfortable.

“Oh, sorry” said Samanta giving an impression like she just woke up from a short freeze. “Are you Dalida Jefferson, the owner of this famous suits company?”

Dalida did not know how to react so she just nodded.

“Sorry, I didn’t know. My ex-boyfriend always dreamt of a suit by you” Samanta turnt red immediately because she felt the situation being awkward.

The young woman smelt like fresh oranges and some flowers. Could be wearing Marc Jacob’s “Daisy”. Dalida looked at her dress; she looked stunning. It was hard to tell if Samanta was not flirting.

“Maybe you will get back together and then, you can give us a call so you can get a suit with a special discount. Here’s my card” Dalida immediately regretted it but she wanted to show that it is just to be polite and friendly towards her partner’s student.

Samanta smiled in a very sweet way. It was flirting. Now, Dalida regretted giving the number even more.

“Well, we won’t get back together like ever but I’ll take the card anyways. I’m sure my father will like to have your suit” she grabbed it quickly and pretending it was accidental, she touched her hand and squizzed it.

Dalida turned back to the room.

“Love, do you need help?” she shouted towards their music room.

“No, I just found it. Sorry it took me so long. Samanta, here you are. You can train with this. I bet it’s gona be a blast” Mahnaz was very excited about her student’s performance.

Samanta took the CD and put it in her purse.

“Thank you very much, Ms. Nove. I’ll do my best” she took a quick glance at her phone screen. “I gotta go, my uber is downstairs. See you next time”.

The last sentence, she started towards her teacher but she changed her aim. Mahnaz did not realized it but Samanta winked to Dalida.

*

“What a day! I’m glad it’s finally over” Mahnaz seemed very tired. “But you know what, she has a great talent and I try my best to get what she has out. I believe this music will help her”

Dalida embraced her.

“You’re a real scholar, love. I admire your dedication. After hours? Oh gods, who does that? You’re a real deal” Dalida shaked her head and kissed Mahnaz.

“I’m a real deal for you or as a teacher only?” she asked her perversely.

Dalida kissed her again.

“I love you” they kissed passionately.

Mahnaz stopped her to get undressed.

“I’m really tired. Would you like to help me with the shower?” Mahnaz smiled and went straight to the bathroom.

Dalida Jefferson, 35, tailor, writer.

Dalida is the owner of her company with suits. She wrote few books about the craft of tailoring, minimalism and details. She’s dating an American-Iranian dancer/choreographer Mahnaz.

Mahnaz Nove, 37, dancer, choreographer.

Mahnaz prepared the choreography for various Broadway shows. She is a very talented dancer and she has her own school on Manhattan. She lives with her girlfriend Dalida.

Pastora Galvano-Porter, 54, businesswoman, ex-model.

Pastora comes from CDMX but she married an American millionaire John James Porter twenty five years ago. They have a daughter - Samantha Marina Galvano Porter. She runs the family business with her husband. She’s a player, claims that she always gets what she wants.

Samantha Marina Galvano Porter, 22, college student.

Samantha is a very lucky young girl, she is very spoiled by her parents. She is a student of performing arts college, she wants to be a dancer on Broadway. She attends classes by Mahnaz.

John James Porter, 51, businessman.

chapter dos.

junio 25, 2010

Querida Mercedes,

para mi las dias no están importantes yo vivo y yo escrito o yo vio porque yo escrito no es importante como todo es igual solamente tu eres en mis pensamientos  no puedo imaginar la vida sin ti  tu eres como la escritura  el senso de mi  creo que tu estas bien y todo esta bien mientras ti y Marga tenia una cita ayer me satisfacía fisicamente  esa mujer me preguntaba o quiero a ver una vez más dije que si naturalmente mentiras después de Rebekah no tengo ninguna energia por jugar  o comportarme

abrazos, tu Rudi

junio 28, 2010

Mi amor, terminé mi libro nuevo.  La editora dijo que podemos a publicarle en primavera 2011. Finalmente. Ese libro me hizo cansado mucho, mucho. Es un libro sobre el hombre perdido.  Conocido, verdad? Estoy fumando mucho  y bebe mucho whiskey  hi amigo Gustav esta fabricando  no tengo ninguna rebaja Te extraño. 

R.

Mercedes was sitting in her home office looking through the box with letters she has received from Rudi over the years. It was already not possible to close it. It made her realise something very important: how could I let it happen without saying anything, without any conversation? They were always joking about his affection like it was the sing of friendship, his youth but nothing real. It was so natural, so essential for their relationship she just got just to it. Focusing on her life, work and most importantly on her love towards Immaculada. Some of the letters were in envelopes, some of them loosely put in this little, hand-decorated wooden box. 

septiembre 12, 2015

Mercedes,

no puedo dormir me hecho en mi cama y estoy pensando  sobre tu cuerpo el fuego en mi está demasiado caliente  como tu pecho parecerse  como es tocarle  y acariciar  imagino tus besos  apasionados estoy duro necesito escribir o tal vez voy a la fiesta por bailar

demasiado caliente.

This letter was unopened and Mercy had the feeling like she has never actually read it. There was loads of deliveries from him and sometimes she was just putting the envelopes somewhere for later and not actually ending reading them. She felt tears in her eyes without knowing the certain reason. She took her mobile and chose Rudi’s number. After few signals, he finally picked up the call. “Mercedes” he said with Spanish accent; it made her think about the letters even more. “Tenemos que hablar. Rudi, too much happened, we need to discuss it like mature people” she has automatically started to reply in her language but she got back to English immediately.  It felt out of the place to use Spanish now. “Sure. I agree. I don’t know what should we say and if I’ll be able to say anything at all but I want to see you, try to talk and listen to you. I can’t find a place for myself since all that happened” he replied. “I threw Michaela out. I feel so indifferent, I don’t know what to do”. “We’re going to figure it out. Can you come to my house today at 5pm?”  “Maybe we can have a coffee, same place as always in Gran Via? I am renting a room there for now and I think the traffic will be terrible that time”. “Of course. Then, maybe 11am? I have a breakfast tv appearance in the center today”. she said looking at the clock, it was just 6am but she did not even bother to check it before calling.  She knew he wakes up 4:45 every day. They agreed and she has started to get ready to the breakfast tv. Another celebrity-I-have-to-eat-and-pay-debt kind of meeting. Afterwards she took a  taxi to see with Rainer, she realized that she has not spoken with Marga since that threesome. She suddenly felt anxiety inside her body and her eyes became glassy. When the vehicle stopped, she went outside to meet with Rudi. Mercedes did not say a word, she just smiled unnaturally and sat on the other side of table. Rudi was sitting there loosely, deeply in thoughts, with face rested on his fingers. Finally, he looked at her. They both looked scared, not saying a word for what seemed like eternity.  “Rudi, do you love me?” He looked at her, deeply scared, with an empty gaze. “You already now the answer” he said shortly and took a sip of whiskey he was having despite the fact that it was still morning. He moved the glass around trying to focus on this action. There was Brian Ferry’s Slave To Love playing in the background. “I can’t give you what you want. That night was a mistake, Marga wanted to try, we were drunk. You are like a brother to me, like the same blood was in our veins but I can’t be with a man the way you would enjoy it. That’s why I said ‘no’ when you wanted to come inside me. I could not let this happen, Rainer” she said with a bit of a trembling voice; it cost her a lot. Rainer smiled ironically. “I know that, Mercy. That doesn’t change the fact that you are the love of my life. It was not about sex. Even though I wanted you so badly physically for all of these years as well. I am emotionally incapable of loving anybody else but you. Although, I felt so strange afterwards. That was not the way I imagined it. I told Michaela that you treated me like I was gay. That was the most ridiculous thing I could say but that’s how it seemed to me. With Marga, you know. I wouldn’t even say she’s a lesbian if I didn’t know. You were so dominant, so strong, I don’t know. I panicked. Then, I had to throw everything out of me so I talked with Michaela. I fired her because I was ashamed. I’m going crazy.” he massaged his face nervously. Mercedes was surprised and did not know how to response. “Marga is bisexual.” she said finally. “He haven’t spoken for few days, I haven’t even see her. It’s probably over. Rudi, I think you have a serious problem. I mean, with yourself. You underestimate yourself, you have this toxic way of perceiving masculinity because you need to prove something. To whom? To the world or to yourself? You know you should have started a therapy years ago. You’re a good man but you have never really seen it and you’re scared like shit that somebody could see that and perceive as your weakness. Rainer finished the rest of his whiskey in one sip. “I preferred when you didn’t tell me about that.” about half a minute passed before he started again. “I love you too much to let this comedy go on. That’s our last meeting. We have to go on by ourselves from now on. I just have one request. If you can, please hire Michaela. If not, throw it to the bin”. He put a piece of people with a name and phone number on the table as well as a 40 dollar bill and stood up. He stopped for a moment like he wanted to learn Mercedes’ face and never forget it. Few seconds later he was gone. Mercy took a piece of paper and chose Michaela’s number. When she saw MJ’s face, it immediately made her feel the same dizziness she realized when she was aroused by her during the first meeting. Androgynous writer sat on the chair where only about half hour ago sat Rainer. Mercedes smiled in a flirtatious way but it was pretty much her regular one. She liked to provoke people but mostly there was not much behind it.  “I called because I wanted to offer you a job. It’s a short notice offer. From now on. I’ve been looking for an assistant for some time now. As you’ve been recommended to me by Rainer, I decided that it has to be you. Of course, I will understand if you’d say no. You are from Berlin and this job would require you to move here, to Madrid because naturally, it’s full time but I can assure you I will help you with the procedure if you’ll need anything. Also, with the accommodation. I know some places around. You can also stay at my place for a while, until you’ll figure something out. I just need somebody for 10 hours a day so I need you close.” she gave MJ a long look to which Michaela replied similarly. “It would be a pleasure.” she said in a very serious way but Mercedes knew it did not mean only work.  “I have my documents at the hotel nearby”. “We could do without them at the beginning but I don’t have the contract with me now too.” “At the hotel downstairs there’s an internet café and they have printing as well if you have them on cloud or somewhere else online”. “Perfectamente” Mercedes was very glad about that. 

*

Chapter uno. 

“¿Estas bien?” Mercedes came to the terrace and put a coat on a brunette’s shoulders. - You’re gonna catch a cold. Immaculada took her hand and held for a moment.  “I’m just thinking, love. And I’m fine. It’s ok, you know. Finally you can feel alive when a wind blows in your hair.” she said without taking her glance from the view. Gran Via looked beautiful when the first strong rays of sun were finally coming out.  Mercedes kissed her on the cheek. “It’s really okay for you that Rainer comes?” her voice was caring and quite worried. “Certainly, love. He’s your oldest friend. He can stay there, as always it’s our house.” said Immaculada without much energy. “You love to dispute with us, don’t you?” Mercy pressed a little bit because she knew that her woman has always enjoyed it and she wanted to cheer her up. “Yes, love” was the only reply. She was still looking towards the street.

~*~ “Dios mios, Rudi!” Mercedes gave her friend a long, affectionate huge while maid took his luggage to the guest room. “I feel like I haven’t seen you for ages. How long has it already been?” Writer fixed his jacket and smiled tenderly.  “Two years, darling but what is time? I missed you, have to admit”. “I missed you much, love. The time flies. Now, I remember. We were in Berlin then with Marga. Ah, que buenos tiempos.  “Ihr solltet schon noch einmal reinkommen.” laughed Rainer. “You overestimate my German skills, I have no idea what you just say, asshole” said Mercy jokingly. “Well, with that you can have a little help from my friend. You’re going to finally meet Michaela. She’s impossible and incredibly smart. My wonderful assistant and simply live saver.” elegant man looked in search of a very tall, masculine-looking woman who was now writing something in the notebook. “Usual MJ. She is always working. Great writer too, so to speak”. When a woman realised that they are speaking about her, she immediately put the notebook and pencil in her pocket and became aware. When she first seen Mercedes it was like a blazing thunder inside her entire body. She did not expect that effect. She realised that the other woman’s eyes are shining and she is holding a stare. MJ was sure that it has had something to do with her strongly manly look but that all made her feel like it is something else as well.  “I’m very pleased to meet you, mrs. Arroyo” she said finally with respect and and shook gently her hand. “Please, call me Mercedes or Mercy. I feel old when somebody calls me with those courtesy.” singer tried to remain serious but she realised that the heat was rising. She held her hand longer than it was necessary worrying stupidly if Rudi has realised that. “This woman speaks English, German, Spanish, Japanese, French, Italian. I probably even forgot what else. She is a genius. I really don’t know why aren’t you making your own career now instead of staying here with me”. joked Rainer and lit a cigarette. “That’s an unimaginable lesson for me to have this honour and work with you. And I promise I’m going to use it wisely”. she replied with same politeness. Rudi suggested her a cigarette but she insisted and said she has to leave to the hotel and work a bit. Mercedes would normally suggest her to stay but the heat was too strong to overcome.   “I will lead Michaela to the door. I guess Marga will be back from the shop any minute, I don’t know what took her so long” she said after a little while. When they were getting downstairs, MJ could not resist staring at her silhouette from the backside. She looked wonderful in this plain black dress. When they got down they held a silent look again. Michaela moved her look to the cleavage line which was very highlighted. Mercy realised that and accidentally, fixed her necklace. Then, stared again towards MJ. Her breath was growing louder. Then, on the path to the door appeared Marga.  “Love, did Rudi arrive?” she said and immediately got her lover’s attention. “Yes, a minute before. And this is Michaela, his agent. Michaela, that’s my partner, Marga”. “Good morning, nice to meet you. I won’t bother you longer, I am leaving now, I have lots of work to do. See you tomorrow” she said politely when Marga shook her hand.  MJ put on her hat and left because uber was waiting. 

~*~ Mercy poured another jack on the rocks for Rainer. They were laughing and talking like always when they were meeting. Marga was sitting with them, sipping martinis without much comments.  “You have to go with us and see new Damien Hirst exhibition, you’re going to love it, honey” said Mercy and took her glass with whiskey.  “Oh, my god, our art voyages. They are the best. I remember when we were seeing something on Versace Fashion. I don’t know when..” “Ah, yes! It was actually on our trip to Italy. It was magic.” she agreed with enthusiasm. “Marga, do you remember?” he asked suddenly seeing that Immaculada remains silent for so long. She shook her head. “Yes, it was inspiring.” she agreed but did not continue on the topic. After third martini, the situation didn’t change. Marga was unwilling to discuss with them but she did not leave them so it was at least a good sign. The conversation seemed to last for ages but they were not feeling the time passing. This kind of connection Mercy did not have even with her woman. It was quite different, on a mental and artistic level. Rainer drank about for jacks when his sight became visibly more fixed on Mercy. He was fighting with himself. Suddenly, Marga stood up and said she is going to the kitchen to bring more olives. She leaned closer towards Rainer and smiled before going. It was quite sour but she really did try. Mercedes did not get her intention. The talk continued for a while and Rainer has started to be afraid of his reactions, especially those visible aspects of his body. Marga called from the kitchen because she had problems with finding ice holder. Mercy excused her dear friend and went to the kitchen to help Marga. Mercedes saw that instead of taking olives, she fixed her make-up. Painter stood up and kissed her wife.  “What are you doing? Rainer is...” Mercedes was trying to say something but Immaculada interrupted her. “I want to try something. I know you have thought about it before. And Rainer is going to be overjoyed. I think you always wanted it somehow”. “I wanted what?” asked Mercedes holding Marga’s hand. “You always wanted to check how it would be with Rudi. You have this special relationship with him but I know you are not straight. Neither am I. I could bi bisexual, though. I don’t know. Maybe some spontaneity and craziness will help me to feel alive and inspired again. Maybe it will help our relationship. Make it again more affectionate. Let’s do this, Mercedes” she explained and then, Mercedes kissed her and pushed towards the wall while continuing that. “Vamos”. she said holding her hand. They got back to the living room and sat back on the sofa living Rainer in the middle. Mercedes asked him to pour her more whiskey and Marga put her hand on his knee. He was not expecting that. Mercy took her drink from his hand giving him a passionate stare and drunk a bit. When she put it back, she moved her hand on his shirt and down, where his certain body part was already quite hard. She kissed him. While she was doing that it was like live and death. Everything stop for a moment and he felt like he is going to lose consciousness. It was unreal. She massaged him for a moment and he was sure that he is going to come immediately but she took back her hand. Marga moved towards him and took his jacket, loosened his tie. Her kiss was different, not that full of feelings but also very enjoyable. Marga appeared to him more as like he would be touched by a straight woman, she was also more submissive than Mercy. No surprise. He did not say anything. He did not want to ruin it. He was seeing it in his dreams for so long. But Mercy was something more for him. Rainer knew she was the unfortunate love of his life and that was all that could ever happen. When they took his hands and led him to the bedroom, he was already drunk as hell and like on drugs. Life could simply end afterwards.

~*~ Morning sun was already in its strongest moment when MJ arrived to Arroyos house. She was said to be there in order to pick Rainer and go with him, have a coffee in the city and work. Maid let her in and she said that he is most likely in his room. MJ went upstairs because that was how she understood the situation. It was already 9.00 and Rudi was never late for their meetings therefore she immediately thought he wants her to go see him. She knocked once on the door and so quickly she heard “yes, come” in rather breathless tone but she did not realised anything strange about it. She pulled the handle. That was Rainer, Marga and Mercy all naked and in certain circumstances. The woman did not see her but writer caught a look of his agent. She immediately went outside feeling quite ashamed but more so puzzled and strange. She decided to wait downstairs. It was her job, she treated it seriously.