I’ve been wanting to write something on this for a while but I’ve been held back by this feeling that I don’t know enough to share yet. So consider this as coming not from a place of experience and expertise but coming from a place of someone who’s just taking their first steps. None of this is coming from a place of authority and I encourage folks who are interested to find other experiences and develop their own practices. 

But given that Trans Day of Remembrance is coming up, I wanted to offer a model for honoring trans folks who’ve passed, both the names we know and the names we don’t. Some studies have shown that trans folks are more likely to be spiritual and given the challenges we face I think we absolutely need a spiritual practice that embraces and even on occasion centers our transness on occasion. Trans Day of Remembrance is certainly an occasion for that kind of centering. 

If You’re Cis

Whenever I write about trans spirituality, I often get messages from cis allies asking what’s appropriate or inappropriate to take from those posts. My suggestions for how cis folks could incorperate a spiritual element on the day, or in working with transcestors more generally, is just to put out offering and be sure not to ask for anything in return. Give offerings of money to organizations who protect, advocate for, and sustain trans folks if you’re able. Show up in spaces where it might be dangerous for trans folks to and offer your activism, your time. 

A lot of allies do this already with a justice oriented mindset and that’s definitely positive. When shifting to a spiritual mindset I find there’s this recognition of the vital necessity of trans people. In many cultures, including in a few examples we know of in Europe, we were often responsible for specific spiritual practices. We necessary for a community to have a full spiritual life. When you have that mindset blend with your justice oriented mindset, you’ve got the basis for including transness in your spiritual practices as a cis person. 

Don’t Deify Them

For trans folks who are reaching out to transcestors, what I’ve personally found is that they’ve generally not wanted to be deified by other trans people. That was a mistake I made starting out. I tended to treat them like saints and they made it clear early on they would much rather be treated like family, like equals. I think they found the idea that death elevated them beyond living trans people distasteful. At least in their interactions with me so far. Respect is good, worship seems not to fly well. I’d be interested to hear other people’s experiences with this. But at least going into it, I suggest treating them like family and seeing what they’d like the relationship to look like. 

Reach Out to More than the Names You Know

I have on occasion called out to the names of trans people I knew through history books or the like. But I’ve had only mild success with that. What’s been much more helpful is to call out for transcestors who want to work with me. I tend to get mix of a spirits who are recent and some that are very old with not a lot in between. They’re all very comforting and familial though. So I would encourage you to be open about who you invoke and offer to. Names aren’t always necessary, thankfully. 

How We’ve Personally Worked with the Transcestors

I first got interested in working with transcestors a few years ago after seeing the concept mentioned in passing in a blog post. I want to work with them more often but I usually set out offerings for them specifically at Pride and on Trans Day of Remembrance. My partner has also called on them at Samhain in place of her blood related ancestors because of their difficult relationship in part due to her transness. So if you’ve wanted to work with ancestors but have been too uncomfortable given your relationships with them while they were alive or your family lines have been steeped in trauma and you’re not ready to do work around healing your ancestral line (completely valid by the way), consider honoring your transcestors. 

As for what we actually do, it’s pretty much the same way I’d honor any ancestor. I put out a plate of food - usually on our oven which serves as our hearth or on our altar if I can fit it - and some booze and water. Then I call on them and let them know for those trans people who’ve passed on that are interested, they’re welcome to come take part. I know some folks offer cigarettes and the like too. I usually light a candle and some incense as well. 

I like to add in symbols of transness even if they’re recent. My partner used a folded trans flag last Samhain to represent the transcestors in our ritual. I’ve drawn trans and nonbinary symbols on paper before and decorated the space with those. In the future I’d like to try having a pink, a blue, and a white candle to light when welcoming them in. The possibilities are honestly endless. Just choose when you want to honor them, what offering you’ll give, and what prayer you’ll pray to them. I most often pray for their protection and they’ve been very good to me with that. 

Conclusion 

I hope this helps spark some ideas for your own practice, whether you’re cis or trans. I’ve really liked working with them so far and I’m hoping to write more as my relationship with them grows.