#queer bella

What an odd dream you had there. For some reason you can’t get Jacob out of your head, or Bella for that matter. Something about them…

little bit of a queer!reader and maybe a queer!bella..?

CHAPTER 3

NIGHTMARE

Your mom wasn’t too happy about the time you got home. You had explained and she wasn’t too happy about you leaving the car up in La Push. But you explained how that boy Jacob helped you out and she realised it was Billy’s son. She gave him a call and you should have your car back in a day or two, with a bunch of new rules on how to take care of it.

Music blares into your ears, your eyes focused onto the ceiling but your mind working itself around the lyrics. Soft light seeped through your sheer curtains, the light still intruding even when you closed your eyes. You placed a pillow over the top half of your face, your fingers drumming to the beat. The song was loud enough for you to stop thinking, the whole point of having it loud enough to make your ears hurt. You’ve always had a problem with thinking too much, especially when you’re alone; your mind wanders further than you’d like it to.

After listening to your CD a few times, you found yourself drifting to sleep.

Your eyes opened, your surroundings familiar. In the far corner of your mind you’re aware you’re dreaming, but it doesn’t feel any less real. You recognise the brilliant green of the forest, the pale grey sky lingering above of you and the waves breaking in the distance. You knew if you’d find the ocean, you’d see the sun.

You were trying to follow the sound of the waves, but felt a warm hand tugging on your hand, Jacob. He’s pulling you further into the forest.

“Jacob?”

His face seemed frightened, he kept tugging you to go deeper into the forest but you didn’t want to go into the dark.

“Run, you have to run,” his pleaded, panicked.

“Why?”

“This way, reader,” a soft voice called from deeper inside the gloomy trees.

Bella?

You couldn’t tell where her voice was coming from, your eyes darting between trees, trying to catch sight of her.

You didn’t want to go into the dark, you pulled against his grip staying put. You wanted the sun, you wanted warmth, the temperature around you just kept dropping. The sun the sun, you’re desperate for the sun. All of a sudden his grip fell from your hand, and he yelped, falling.

“Jacob!” You screamed as he convulses, something strange happening to his body. He twitched until you weren’t seeing him anymore, but a red-brown wolf that almost towers over you. It faced away from you, toward the trees, where Bella’s melodic voice sung. It’s large fangs exposed, hair raised on its back legs and it’s chest vibrating with a guttural growl.

A light walked slowly toward you through the evergreen. Not a light — no — Bella. She stepped through the trees, lightly pushing branches away from her as she walked. Her skin glowing faintly, her eyes shifting in the light, different from the soft brown. She held out her hand toward you, beckoning for you to come to her. You hesitated, the wolf growling. You stepped forward to get a closer look at her, suddenly stepping back when she smiles, her teeth sharp and pointed.

“Trust me,” she purrs.

You found yourself stepping back, fear tingling in your spine. The wolf launches himself, closing the distance between you and Bella, it’s teeth barred aiming for her neck.

“No!”

You shot up in bed. Your CD clattered onto the floor, the music blasting through the earphones. You breathed, it was just a dream but that acknowledgment didn’t take away from the sick feeling in your stomach. Disoriented, you glance at your clock on your bedside table. Five-thirty in the morning. How long were you sleep for?

You sighed, sitting up. Touching the back of your neck you realised your hair was still tied into a bun, you grimaced at the feel of frizzy coils. There wasn’t any point of you trying to fall back to sleep, the covers covering your face didn’t do anything to help distract the images of a boy turning into a wolf and a girl you just met glow in the sun with a pair of fangs.

But that story Jacob was telling you fished around in your mind. The story about wolves turning into men. A tribal law to not kill wolves?

“That’s crazy,” you mumble, hands over your face. In what world would you debate if werewolves are real? To put off the thoughts you found absurd, you hopped into the shower, wanting to put it off long enough for you to think through your dream. You took time to dry your hair with a microfibre towel and moisturise yourself at least twice, but you had to face your curiosity at some point.

Wrapped in a soft towel, you crossed back to your room. You haven’t heard your mom in the kitchen yet and glance outside the window in case she’s out or sleeping in. Her car isn’t in the driveway, so you assume she’s having a coffee date with her friends. Dressing into your comfortable shorts, you sat at your desk and switched on your old laptop.

There isn’t anything wrong with feeding into your curiosity. Or at least you think so. Sometimes your mom says there’s a thing as knowing too much, but you find it silly to feel eerie over a dream you had. Maybe you just can’t shake off the story Jacob didn’t finish, or seeing Bella. Still feeling a bit silly to be bothered by this, you search up Werewolves in La Push.

It took an annoyingly long time to sort through movies, gothic albums, video games and even art. You scrolled long enough to find a site that seemed promising about the history of wolves in La Push. Skeptical on the credibility of the site, you’re greeted with background information on the Quileute people.

Welcome to The Legends of the Pacific Northwest, a page dedicated to strange sightings, folklore, and ancient tribal myths.

You scroll past the long history of the Quileute tribe, your eyes skimming over small parts of the history on the first shapeshifter Taha Aki who protected his people.

“Local rumours claim the descendants of these spirit warriors still live in La Push today. Eyewitnesses have reported massive wolves in the nearby forests, moving too fast and too intelligently to be ordinary animals. Others say it’s just a story — a myth meant to keep outsiders away.”

You linger on that part. The website is filled with accounts of wolves too massive, too fast to be believable. Maybe you’re just a skeptic, but you need to see things to believe in them. Just as you’re about to put your laptop off, something catches your attention.

These wolves were not monsters, but guardians, sworn to protect people from dark creatures said to stalk the forests — the cold ones.

Cold ones.

You’ve heard Jacob use that. Searching what that meant just landed you into scrolling for a while just to figure out cold ones, are vampires. Coming across a site that had a list of vampires from different myths from all over, had you deep diving into three stories that caught your eye. The pale and beautiful Romanian Varacolaci, the Slavic Nelapsi, a creature so fast that it massacred villages in an hour. And the italian Stregoni benefici, an immortal enemy of all vampires because he was on the side of goodness. If vampires were real, it was a relief that there was some who wanted to be good.

The idea of immortal, beautiful vampires whose eyes shift colour in the light or, unbelievably fast, strong, and powerful wolves that have been in war for thousands of years suddenly makes you realise how ridiculous it is for you to research any of this. The movies on vampires dying when exposed to the sun suddenly ruled that idea out, or Teen Wolf definitely making this feel more embarrassing. You blamed your escapade on how boring Forks is. You’re busy searching things twelve year olds daydream about.

You wanted to get out of the house, and you didn’t mind not having a car in this moment, going on a long walk and ending up anywhere sounded good. You pulled on your boots, unclear where you’re headed, going downstairs. Without checking the weather, you stormed out with your jacket.

It was overcast, but rain had yet to fall. You carried yourself across the yard, into the evergreen forest. Following the thin ribbon trail mindlessly, you were deep enough into the forest that your house was invisible. The earth was damp against your boots and the mockingjays above you cried, causing rustling in the trees. The trail snaked around maples, ivy and hemlocks. Your mind wrapped in the weird realisation of you taking the werewolf idea seriously. Droplets of water trickled off the canopy, dripping softly against the leaves causing it to dip and drop into the soil. An old tree that had fallen, laid on the ground decorated by moss. You sit on the damp grass, leaning against the tree.

It wasn’t the best idea to come to a place that looked like your dream, it made you think harder on the possibility. Sometimes your mom would tell you that dreams can tell you things. But this is an outlandish idea, you know that. Jacob a werewolf? And Bella? Sure she’s pale, but a viscous blood drinker with powers beyond the human imagination? Yeah, right. The ferns covered your head, the forest now quiet besides the sudden rush of droplets above you. Amongst the trees and the greenery made a thousand year old battle between wolves and cold ones, sound much more plausible.

“This is dumb.”

You have no reason to think that Jacob is a wolf, you met him two days ago without seeing any transformations. And Bella… she’s kind, what’s viscous about her? The rain made the forest dimmer almost as dark as it looked when Jacob was drawing you in. Shivering, you rose quickly and followed the thin trail back home as the rain pattered across the matted floor. It felt like you were trapped inside the forest as you hastily jogged through the trail, you might’ve walked too far in. Before the anxiety dwindled in the bottom of your stomach, you peaked through webbed branches seeing your mothers pink car parked in front of the house. You left the green maze, relieved at the thought of being dry and warm.

It was noon when you got back inside. This compelling thought whirled in your mind: Seek it out.

To seek out a wolf or a vampire — is an idiotic decision — if they truly do live here in this inconsequential town.

But you want proof.