#queer ageing

The erotica of us is not the same - there is no longer the unknown. There is safety and pleasure in the knowing. The unexpected does not yield its edge - the expected is wanted and desired. The excitement of discovery is replaced by the excitement of long loving and everlasting desire. I still warm at the unevenness of your walk, the melody of your laugh, the fire breath you exude when you are crossed.

Because it once felt like the whole of my lesbian identity was a dark, cut-off place, not only in my real world, but also in my head. It was 'over there', it wasn't real, and it was something I did in my spare time. Whereas now - this is me. You know what you see now is what you get. I'm out, and I'm happier now than I've ever been. Happy as Larry, whoever Larry was. I hope she was a woman.