#queenofchcos

[ ✪ ] clint & natasha are stuck in an elevator together.

Honestly, they probably should’ve seen this one coming. The building they were scoping out was old and rickety, the sort of place where it was kind of a miracle it was still standing at all, and it probably went without saying that the elevator wasn’t too reliable. But Clint had cracked a couple of ribs a week ago and, after a significant amount of whining, convinced Natasha to get in it with him anyways rather than taking the stairs up eight floors to where they needed to be. It was probably karma when the thing died halfway between floors four and five.

[ ღ ] clint makes an attempt to cheer kate up.

Clint knew Kate well enough to know when something was bothering her, even if she didn’t say the words out loud. She’d been uncharacteristically quiet all night, subdued on the couch and more or less responding to everything he said in grunts and one-word answers. Cheering people up had never been something Clint was great at. If anything, he usually did something more resembling the opposite, but for Kate, he was always willing to try.

[ ☎ ] clint calls wanada in tears.

Okay, so this situation wasn’t ideal. There was a cop standing over him looking angry, his shoulder ached from where it had made contact with the ground, and his keys had fallen somewhere in the sewer. Clint knew he was gonna have to really bend over backwards to get out of this one. It took some convincing to get the cop to allow him a phone call, and Clint silently thanked Matt for all the half-assed law knowledge he’d been able to bring out. Sometimes being friends with a lawyer was useful!

Scrolling through his contacts, he landed on Wanda with a grin. He should probably call someone like Matt or Natasha, but Wanda was far less likely to get all smug with him when she realized what this whole thing was about. Sniffling into the phone, Clint started off easy. After a few minutes, he let the sniffles shift over to over the top sobs, watching as discomfort distorted the officer’s face. He made sure to only say things Wanda would know were bullshit; the last thing he wanted was to worry her! “You just tell Genevieve I’ll talk to her after maw-maw’s funeral! I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go to jail! It was the jaywalking! I deserve this!” 

Finally, the cop groaned. “Just go,” he sighed. “Jesus Christ, go to the funeral. We’re good, it’s fine.” 

send ☼ for a congratulatory text for @greatesthawkeye

send ☠ for a misguided advice text for @neighborhoodwebhead

send ♣ for a text not meant for you for @neighborhoodwebhead

send ⁇ for a worried text for @earthquakesgirl

send ✘ for a text that should never have been sent