Roger once squirted Brian in the face with his hairspray during an argument.

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Roger once squirted Brian in the face with his hairspray during an argument.

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Im so stumped about how these four men could fight and talk shit 24/7 and literally seem like they hate each other to someone who doesn’t know better(and even then I still sometimes wonder if naivety and time is what’s making us think they didn’t) yet there’s bands who have barely had fights in the studio still break up after 5-10 years
I read an article about what made relationships work, and the gist of it was that it's not about how much or how little fighting there is - or how loud and dramatic the fighting can be - but about the ratio of positive vs. negative interactions. I don't remember the exact number, but I think it was something around 1:5 or 1:6. So, if you have, say, 8 positive interactions for every argument, then the relationship still works great, no matter if the actual number of fights is one a year or one a day.
(Ah, found it. Here's an article summarizing the research.)
It seems like for Queen, having everything right out and fighting tooth and nail for their creative vision is something that was just part of the parcel. It's how they worked together - perhaps that's why it was so difficult to find the fourth member. They needed someone who could work in that sort of environment without crumbling, someone who was able to go back into the studio the next day and get the work done.
Also, while they drove each other mad in the studio at times, they seemed to get along much better when they were on the road. So the crazy fighting episodes would have been just part of what they experienced together.