#queansdiary

In the meantime, we’ve been focusing on us, we’ve had some play nights, he’s spoiled me with orgasms and I think I’m turning into an orgasm whore and losing my desire for denial!

We hung out in the hot tub and chatted. He made me take off my swimsuit and then he fucked my throat briefly. Then we went up to bed where he let me jerk him off while I ate his asshole 😍. He put me on my back so he could use my cunt as he slapped my face a grabbed my tits. He told me I won’t be cumming anytime soon, but he’ll make sure Juliette will multiple times. And that he expects me to edge every hour, on the hour while he’s gone.

For those that didn’t read part one, I used an analogy about feeling like a dark empty house emotionally and sexually. I love analogies, they help me break down complicated feelings, and I’m able to visualize and process things easier.

So there I was, lost in my dark empty house, but for the first time in a long time the porch light was on. I could see my husband at the door waiting to find me. I went to greet him, and we quickly started fucking. He inched me through the front door and slapped me playfully as a test. I pulled him in closer kissing him. He was in the house and ready to find me. He grabbed and slapped my tits, then stretched and tortured my nipples. He loves playing with them, and I was a good girl and took the abuse embracing my role as his play thing. He suddenly hit me harder across the face. I gasped, but he struck me almost immediately again. “Say thank you…” he reminded me. “Thank you” I quickly repeated to him through gasps of pain… he hit me harder… “thank you” remembering my manners… harder again “thank you” my face was so sore but he kept going. “Each time I hit you, you get wetter, did you know that?” He pointed out. I just mumbled “yes” back to him. I realized I’d handed him the key to the first room. He now had full access to my masochist room.

“When did you last cum” he asked. “I can’t remember, a long time ago” I replied. It had been about three months, not because of any kinky denial, but because of a lack of desire on my part. “I don’t really care, you know that?” He stated. “I know”, inside I was a little hurt, I wanted to want to cum, I wanted to feel that desire again… I held onto the key for that door a little tighter. “All that matters, is that your holes are available for me to dump my cum in, that’s all you’re useful for”. He was hitting a nerve, what about my pleasure I thought.

Bored, he left me in that room and started knocking at another door. I peeked around the corner to see what he was doing. “You’re getting desperate aren’t you slut?” I couldn’t help myself, like a lost puppy I followed down the hall. “Show me what a pathetic whore you are” oh no, it’s the humiliation room. I couldn’t stop myself and started humping his cock trying to feel him deeper in me. “Good girl, you’re such a needy bitch.” “I want to cum” I blurted out. “No you don’t” he replied. “I don’t?” I asked. “No you just want me to cum remember?” He had baited me and meanwhile I’d left the door wide open to the denial room. He was right though. Even through the last few months, I always tried to make sure he was satisfied, libido or not. I was here to serve him.

“This is how you are meant to be… desperate and dripping, ready for me to use… just three holes for my cock.” He told me. “Mmm, I miss being your toy, it’s what I was made for” I replied. “And if I don’t like your hole, I’ll find another won’t I?” Oh no, I’m not ready for this I was thinking. I’m not a cuckquean any more. You can’t have this key, the room is getting remodeled into something else, I thought. Unaware of my internal struggle, he continued… “You’re my plan B, always a needy hole when I have no tighter, hotter, younger choice”, he was fucking me but he seemed to be somewhere else, “no, no, no” I said in a tiny voice. I want to be his only, I thought. Come back to me, who is he thinking of? And almost like he read my mind, he listed the names of his exes and everything he loved and missed about their bodies. I started sobbing, I’m still not sure if he knew I was crying. Inside I was curled up clutching the key to that room. I didn’t want to give it up, but somehow he’s in here anyway invading the room. I wouldn’t open my eyes, I didn’t want to see. “I’d take anyone over you right now, you know that?” I could only whisper a pleading “no”. “No?” He asked in fake confusion, knowing he already had me. “But you’re dripping wet” he slowly thrust his cock in me as if to illustrate his point. Fuck… my thoughts went silent and my emotions calm. I realized how wet and turned on I was. “Your cunt is telling me you want it.” I lay still for for a few moments. He felt so good. I embraced the shame, humiliation, my insecurities. My mind finally quiet, my cunt throbbing. I finally let go of the key, “yes” I replied, still a little uncertain. “You want me to spoil someone else” he told me, “yes” I replied, this time more certain. “You want her to cum on my cock while you’re denied” … “Yes!”. “You want to suck her cum off my cock and lick my cum out of her pussy” … yes yes yes!

In the meantime he expanded his online dating presence and joined another couple of apps. A local lady started chatting to him and he’s had three dates with her. She seems sweet. There’s zero cucky feels right now. And I’m likely to just give them a lot of space. I’ll call her Raven, I’m not sure I’ll have any exciting stories to tell though.

A little context here... 1. I had been talking about working hard at my business and that he should see some extra money from it. 2. I moved countries to marry him, which is why I say he shipped me in. 3. His lady, Summer lives very far away, and that is who he refers to here.