#qplp

I’m very affectionate and romantic (no romo).

“I've been saying it so long to you, you just wouldn't listen. Every time you said 'Farm Boy do this' you thought I was answering 'THAT’S GAY' but that's only because you were hearing wrong. 'I love you' was what it was, but you never heard.” -Princess Bride, with minor edits

Believe it or not, I’m a total catch.

pros:

eat as much garlic as you want bc nobody’s kissing nobody later

irl complaining about smut fic taking over everything

forehead smooches whenever

snuggles whenever

irl conversations about actor’s looks based on a scale of “looks like a potato” to “idk that’s a p pleasing face” 

in addition, saying “that person’s face is super super aesthetic look at that symmetry” and not getting weird looks

getting to use air quotes when referring to an old “crush” 

out of the dating scene forever

no worries about pressure for sex or worries that the other person might want sex bc you both know you’re hecka not attracted to each other

handholdings whenever

separate beds, one bed, different rooms, share a room, whatever, no problem, can do either, who cares, no one that’s who it’s never awkward

twice the pet name possibilities (babe, friend, pal, dummy, dear, darling, bestie)

mutually confused over sex scenes in movies and fastforwarding through the longer ones

saying “i love you” whenever

the scary kinds of republicans think we’re sisters

date nights end in video games

cons:

“so when are you two adorable single ladies gonna get boyfriends” 

twice the chances to miss sexual innuendos 

???????

her students think we’re lesbians having hot lesbian sex which is more awkward and hilarious than a real con