#purrsly

Kirk was determined to kill the Horta, that "it had killed all those people, we can't risk keeping it alive," and that makes sense, perfect sense, and yet when Spock offers up the alternative, "it could be the last of its kind," Kirk still has all the reason to destroy it.

But Spock had asked him not to kill it, Spock had expressed interest in it, and Spock had wanted it alive. Spock wanted something.

And so when Jim comes face to face with the creature, alone, and knows he could be killed, he hesitates. At the cost of his life he hesitates because Spock had requested something from him. He doesn't kill the Horta, because Spock had asked him to find another way, and so Jim makes one. Makes one despite all odds, and despite no hope, and despite his life being in danger the entire time.

But that's not all, even despite wanting the creature to live, even understanding that it was only an animal protecting what was it's own, the moment Kirk falls into danger, Spock tells Jim to kill it.

'Kill the creature if it means my captain shall live.'

He was willing to forgo his curiosity, his scientific and Vulcan morals, if it was going to kill his captain. Isn't it illogical for one man to live if it kills the entire race of another? Isn't it illogical to be willing to assist that one man in such a thing?

They switched places, kill or find another way, all because of each other, and in the end, solved the problem together.

He has wanted Kirk, has wanted Jim, for far longer than just the day of his Pon Farr. He has wanted him, to have and to hold, and now that he's finally had him, (had him the Vulcan way), he has lost him.

He has wanted Kirk so much that he brought him down to Vulcan, as illogical as that is, for Kirk is human, and Kirk cannot do anything about Spock's marriage to T'pring, and in his wanting he has killed him.

Spock has wanted to the point of destruction, and now he has nothing left to want but regret. Spock is upset, with both himself, and his people's customs, because that has cost Jim his life.

Jim died saving him, died because Spock was human enough in his feelings to want him, and "it is not logical, but it is often true," that feeling has once again, brought about Vulcan self destruction.

He is talking to Stonn, but he is also talking to himself, it is just that Stonn was allowed to live a life with his lover, and Spock was not.

Why does Kirk have a chess set on display, a chess set when he has hardly anything else of meaning, on display in his personal quarters?

It could have been stored under his bed, in his closet, literally anywhere else that wasn't by his direct working space in his room.

We hardly ever see Jim playing chess, besides when he is playing with Spock, and their rooms are conjoined, and do you see where I'm going with this?

The chess set isn't necessarily for Jim, it's for Spock, because having it there makes it quick and available when the Vulcan wants to play-

And it reminds him of Spock when he's working, of the 'totally platonic, small, random, definitely not important,' bond they share. Of his T'hy'la, and his friend, and the first officer he can always count on and-

It's totally, most definitely, platonic.

So notice how everyone EXCEPT for Spock is looking straight at the camera.

If he tries to pick himself, they all die, and if Spock or McCoy try to sacrifice themselves for the other, they all die.

There are no outs, no ending victory, someone has to die.

McCoy knows Kirk is in love with Spock, has tried to help Jim out a time or two, and in this mission, for one reason or another, having Spock alive (in McCoy's opinion) would give everyone higher odds at saving the ship. Yada Yada.

BUT, McCoy is in love with them both, and he hasn't told them, and doesn't want to ruin Kirk and Spock's potential relationship, (because he's McCoy like that, self sacraficing). And so he insists it has to be him that dies. Of course, Spock wants to argue this, does a bit, but everyone can see having Spock alive would realistically be more helpful for this specific situation.

Logic cannot argue emotion, Kirk has to choose, and McCoy dies.

McCoy never confesses, Kirk and Spock never know, and they are left to grieve in his absence.

Lots of fun potential for the 'It should've been me,' 'If I had done something different,' 'there could have been another way,' ect. Ect.

It's just so fun and silly because up until this point, it's just McCoy yearning, wanting to be with his friends, but not wanting mess things up for them, and it's just so....

Jim Kirk would never be hungry again, but for Spock, the vulcan commander on his bridge-

He was starving.

Categories: Gen, M/M

Words: 1,407

Chapters 1/1 [Completed]