#purpose-ff

“Key to life, keep a bag comin' Every night another bag comin' I ain't been asleep since '96 I ain't seen the back of my eyelids. I been speedin' through life with no safety belt One on one with the corner, with no safety help . .”

I Got The Keys - Dj Khaled ft Jay Z & Future 

Rahkim

Today I didn’t want to think much about anything, it was a Sunday afternoon and what better way for me to spend it the over at my boy Ferg’s crib. I’d come over here bullshit smoke and clown this nigga about his whack ass team then head back to the crib where ma’ would have a plate of her Sunday dinner waiting in the microwave for me like every otha’ Sunday.

“Son, the Cowgirls ain’t making it to the Super Bowl word up!”

I love fucking with Ferg, he get so tight when I mention his bum ass team not making it to the Super Bowl, I find it hilarious how defensive he gets. Walking over from the mini fridge grabbing two coronas he making his way back over to the sofa were i occupied the other end. 

“Heads up”

He tossed the cold bottle of beer causing it to land right in my lap.

“Good look”

I instantly started downing my Corona, the ice cold liquid glide down my throat quenching my thirst. My attention fell upon the T.V watching the Cowboys and the Steelers battle it out, the score now 5-12.

“So wussup with this whole living situation my boy”

Braking my focus from the Television, my mind began to wonder off into this whole fucked up situation that I’ve been trying to avoid lately. I know running from your problems is never the answer but man this shit is too much to deal with right now.

Throwing my head back on the sofa I gazed up at the ceiling as if it was going to give me a salutation to all the fucked up shit going on in my life. Taking a deep breath I then closed my eyes before speaking .

“On some real, I have no fucking idea what Imma do Ferg. I got the bread but every place I call about or even look into they what as twice as much then I have to offer man.”

Finally opening my eyes, Ferg appeared in front of me passing me a fat blunt. I swear this niggas always think smoking is the key to everything, shit I’m starting to almost think he’s about right. The first hit of the blunt made me loosen up a tad I was smoking all my worries away at the moment.

“Look Flacko, You know I got you regardless. You always got my back when a nigga was down and out so I got you son .. How much you need?”

Holding my left hand up while I still smoke the dutch out of the right I nodded my head.. I couldn’t let Ferg gimme that type of money I understand we G fly like that but it’s no way in hell imma let him do that for me that was out of the question, he gotta look after his just like i gotta look after mine.

“Nah man, I’ll be good. You keep ya’ money bro I’ll figure something out”

Passing back the blunt Ferg glared at me long and hard, I know that look that’s the niggas stop letting yo pride get the best of you and take this fucking offer fo’ I change my mind look.

“Well we could hit another lick, You know that shit aint bout nun. Easy cash we’d be in and out”

He was right the shit wasn’t bout nothing but the fact that we done hit that shit up already a couple weeks ago we should lay low, That’s how mfers get caught up being greedy and stupid. I wasn’t bouta do time for nobody my moms and baby sista’ need me around not behind no bars.

“Nah we need to lay low for a little while, shit may seem sweet right now but we need to be smart about our moves man.”

Ferg stood next to the sofa finishing off his beer.

“Alright it’s your call. But just know if it comes down to it, Miss E & Bianca are more then welcomed to lay there head here until you get shit figured out. We like family, we eat together we starve together.”

*Ding*

I had got a notification for a new text message from B

From: Bianca ❤😒

They cut the hot water off rah, Ma’ still at work she gonna bug when she find this out man.

I instantly replied back

To: Bianca ❤😒

Fuck man! Don’t trip off it just boil some water on the stove for now, I’m still working on this new house situation . . . You and ma might have to stay with Ferg from a little .

I watched as the 3 dots as she typed waiting for her response 

From: Bianca❤😒

Coo but you know how ma’ stubborn ass is good luck with trynna to convince her .. Should i start packing now?

To: Bianca ❤😒

Yea you and ma’ I’ll come get yall tomorrow evening make sure yall got everything .

Standing to my feet I headed from the staircase

“Imma take you up on that whole living offer thing nigga, But we gonna set some rules right now!”

Ferg chuckled knowing that my ass was gonna end up giving in sooner or later to one of his offers.

“1 Don’t be having none of ya’ girls walking around in they panties and shit if my moms gonna be laying her head here, 2 Keep a eye on B you know how them knuckle head niggas can get when they see a female, And 3 smoke that shit down here, all guns down here, and don’t stay in bed all damn day or she’ll kill you.”

Ferg held his hands up in defense 

“Iigh iight nigga we good I got you, no bitches walking around naked or in they thong, No kush in the upper level of the crib, Hide all the guns, keep boys away from B , and don’t sleep all day or Miss Ebony will have my ass. we straight!”

Jogging up the stairs from the basement I showed myself out now back on the streets of Harlem, I found a salutation for now but I really gotta get on my shit and find a house for ma’ I knew her staying with Ferg wasn’t gonna sit right with her at all. I just needed someone to vent to , another person’s perspective on things. I pulled out my phone scrolling to the contact I intended to

Aaliyah-JAY👑💅😜

I just sat there looking at the contact debating if I should give her a call, I mean if she really wanted to talk she would had text me right? Shaking out the voice of my self-conscious I did it any way I hit the call button. The phone rang multiple times, on the 5th her angelic voice graced the side of my  phone 

“Hey, you’ve reached Aaliyah. Sorry I couldn’t make it to the the phone but if you leave your name and number I’ll get back to you as soon as possible”

I could help but to smirk at how professional her voicemail was, Not saying that it’s anything wrong with that but for someone in her age range she sure does take life pretty seriously . I hug up deciding to shoot her a text instead of leaving a voicemail.

To Aaliyah-JAY👑💅😜

Hey it’s Rahkim ... Meet up?

I instantly got a reply back

From: Aaliyah-JAY👑💅😜

Sure, Come to Sinners I’m on the clock.

After getting the ok, I headed to the opposite side of town to Sinner’s.

After a solid 25 minutes I finally reached my destination, I walked in heading straight for the bar. I took a seat on one of the bar stools waiting to be waited on. Pulling my phone out i open my camera low key checking myself out, making sure it was nothing on my face, Turning my face to the left then right I observed each side making sure I was good.Shoving my phone back in my pocket I did a quick breath check, can’t be caught slipping with funky breath.

“Welcome to Sinner’s where you fantasies becomes reality, How can I help you tonight sir?”

I knew that voice, and that sweet smell. Turing the bar stool around now facing her I licked over my lips before speaking. Shit like that drives the females crazy .

“Miss Jay, We meet again . .”

She looked so beautiful tonight, I’m not just saying that due to the somewhat slutty outfit she was dressed in. Her lips were glossed down in a clear coat of lips gloss making her plump pink lips stand out even more, her jet black hair was bone straight dangling  from her back. Her face had a glow to it.

Flashing her beautiful smile she lit up the entire room, she was something special. 

“Hey Rahkim, You look nice ..”

Now behind the bar grabbing a shot glass she filled it up with whisky now handing it over to myself.

“This one’s on the house, I owe you don’t I?”

slightly nodding my head in agreement i tossed the strong liquid down my throat instantly feeling the burning sensation.

“So how was your day ma’”

She tapped at her chin with her pointer finger while in thought.

“Umm, I headed to class earlier, had lunch with my bestfriend Moni, went back home and kicked back before my shift here & now here I am having a conversation with this fine but somewhat mysterious man.

“Oh so it’s like dattt?! What makes me so mysterious Miss Jay?”

I held my hand up to my chest as if I’ve been hurt by her words, causing her to do that cute little giggle of her’s.

“Well for one we always bump into each other. I don’t know much about you just your name and that you smoke heavy never see you without a blunt in your hand. I feel like you kinda distance yourself from people period ya’ know? You just have this vibe . . But I like it”

“Well how about we start off getting to know one another the proper way? What you getting into next friday night?”

I watched as she got all nervous like a school girl still trying to maintain a good poker face.

“I have school in the morning but after that i’ll be free . . What do you have in mind?

Reaching my hand over the bar I took her’s into my grasp, gently grazing my thumb over her soft hand now looking her in her brown eyes.

“How about a couple of my boys and a couple of your girls hit the club, have a good time and enjoy each other’s company. It’ll give us time to get to know one another.”

She hesitated for a moment before speaking

“I don’t know Rahkim, I’m not much of the party type. I haven’t been to a club in god knows how long” 

she stated biting the inside of her check waiting for my reaction 

“ C’mon Jay, Just do ya’ boy this one favor and I promise you I’ll pay you back with something real special that i know you’d like”

Playfully rolling her eyes she nodded in agreement.

“Iight, iight. I’ll go but this little special thing you got for me better be special too I’m not playing with you Rahkim!”

She pointer her finger at me letting me now she wasn’t playing any games with my skinny ass.

“So wussp with the whole school situation with you sister? Is she in?”

folding her hands and placing them under her chin she waiting for me to speak once again.

“She has a interview this Monday coming up, after that we’ll find out what it’s hitting for, I hope B get’s this .. I know how much this shit means to her I’d be crushed if my baby sista’ don’t get into this school man forreal”

“ I’m pretty sure she is an amazing girl, You have nothing to worry about. Mrs. G can be kinda iffy at times but once you get to know her you’ll get used to it. I could try to put a word in for her if you don’t mind”

“I would be so grateful if you could do that for me, I’d praise the ground you walk on forreal forreal”

She tilt her head back giggling at my desperate reaction.

“Oh please!”

She swatted at my right upper arm.

“It’s the least I can do, I can clearly see how much this means to the both of you, You guys must be pretty tight huh?”

I shook my head letting out a soft chuckle, Tight was a understatement me and B had a unbreakable bond that could never ever be broken until death do us part.

“You have no idea . . Me and Bianca bee attached to the hip ever since she came into this world, It’s always been just mom’s me and Bianca. That’s one thing niggas don’t really know about me when it comes to females I have this weak spot for them all I’ve been around my whole life is woman.”

She looked me in face intensely seeing that this was a serious subject for me, I don’t know what it is about this jawn but it’s so easy for me to speak about things that I wouldn’t dare speak about with anyone else other the Ferg and a few niggas I really fuck with I ain’t really the type to show emotion.

“So what about you father? “

I instantly felt my body tense up after that one little question “What about you father” That deadbeat was anything but a fucking father how could you leave your family behind , How could you tell the children that you brought into this world that they was nothing but a mistake. Shit’s foul man .

“ I don’t have a father baby, I have a sperm donor . He walked out on us ,The streets was his family and his only priority he didn’t give two shit about us”

I watched as her eyes started to sadden at my harsh reality, She wanted to know more but she didn’t dare to ask any further questions. Instead she switched the subject trying to lighting up the mood.

We sat in silence before she glimpsed at her iphone

“Wow, I didn’t realize we’ve been talking for so long. I’ll be ready to head home in 10 minutes.”

She then began to clean the bar top & collecting empty shot glasses that were once occupied by others.

“How you getting home?”

She slowly turned on her high heels now facing me once again while drying off a shot glass that she had previously just cleaned.

“Usually I’d have the car, but It’s Moni’s turn to use the car tonight so i was gonna catch the bus”

My face unintentionally scrunched up in disapproval. Don’t get me wrong it’s nothing wrong with catching the bus, but she’s better then that and this ain’t Beverly Hills. This his Harlem shit gets real out here around this time of the hour on top of that, It was no way in hell i was letting her fine ass walk to the bus stop all alone.

“I’ll come with you, I wanna make sure you get home safely”

Her checks began to turn a slight shade of red, as she tucked a stand of hair behind her ear trying to avoid eye contact.

“No It’s fine I-”

I gently grabbed her wrist bringing her as close to me as possible over the bar, now looking her directly in the face.

“Nah Jay, What type of nigga would I be If I just like you walk the streets alone? It’s the least I can do. So don’t fight me on this one iight?”

I swear I could hear her heart beating through her chest, I watched as she eyed my lips then looking me back into my eyes. Damn she was so fucking beautiful I just wanted to kiss her right in this very moment but i didn’t want to push it. I slowly let my grasp of her wrist go backing up while scratching the back of my neck.

“ I- I’m just going to head to the back and change I’ll be right back”

I nodded my head causing her to scurry off to the back to handle her shit. 10 Minutes later she appeared in some Adidas joggers along with a matching shot sleeve T-shirt, Her hair that was once hanging down her back was now throw up into a messy bun sitting perfectly on top of her head. Her face was free of any type of make up but her lips were still coated in clear gloss. I liked her like this.

“I see you ditched the stilettos and decided to go with the Puma’s instead”

I joked admiring the black Puma Creepr’s that were now laced on her small feet”

She looked down bringing her feet together now looking down at them herself 

“You like em? I just got them last week wanted to see what all the hype was about, not really use to them yet”

“I fucks with them it fits you”

Making our way out of the building we began to walk to the bus stop that stood a couple blocks away. On the walk there we talked about music, clothes, and the latest TV shows.Come to find out she’s a big fan of J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar and Future & Drake, She has a dope ass style she’s not into as much of the thing your everyday Harlem girl would be into she has taste, I fucks with it. We were now standing at the bus stop arguing over which one of the Kardashian’s had the biggest ass.

“Nigga you must be buggin’ Khole has Kim K beat! Hands down”

she spat moving her hands while speaking.

“Nah shorty you the one bugging’ Kim K gotta donkey. Where have you been?!”

I shouted up to the sky throwing my hands up in disbelief .

“Whatever Rahkim, What happen to that donkey when she made that sex video with Ray Jay?”

Now giving me sass with her left hand resting on her hip.

“Iight iight, you got a nigga with that one”

We both fell out in a fit of giggles, The bus now pulled up letting passengers inside.

“Well, This is me . .”

“You mean this is US?”

Now wearing a confusing look on her face, I grabbed her arm heading to  the bus. Allowing her to step on the bus first she started to fish through her MK bag for her toll. Beating her to it I pulled out 5 dollars handed it over to the bus driver paying for the both of us.

“I got it Jay don’t worry bout’ it.”

She nodded her head smiling leading us both to the back of the bus.

Aaliyah

Rahkim and myself were now seated in the back of the bus making small talk out of anything at the moment, I’m beyond glad that he decided to stop by and come and see me. He insist on walking me to the bus stop to make sure I was okay, but it really shocked me when he got on the bus with me as well. I can honestly say so far he’s doing all the right things and making the right moves.

It’s not often you come across a man in Harlem who has a great sense of humor, intelligent and respectful, Why this this man single?

On the walk to the bus stop we got to know some of each other’s interest. So far I know one of his favorite movies is Scar Face. He’s also big on fashion and be adores his sister and mother more then anything on this earth.

Our small talk had died down and I felt my eyelids getting heavy, trying to fight the feeling of sleep taking over my body I failed horribly as I felt my eyes shut completely and sleep to over my body.

“Jay..Jay”

I awoke to Rahkim whispering my voice every so sweetly  causing me to flutter my eyes open to see him standing over me.

“Where here baby girl, C’mon leeme help you”

Grabbing my Victoria’s Secret duffle that held my change of work clothes and heels , before rising to my feet I noticed he wasn’t wearing his North Face zip up hoodie it was tossed over the front upper half of my body. I guess he noticed me putting  things together causing him to speak up.

“You fell asleep and you looked kinda chilly so I gave you my hoodie”

Nodding my head he reached out for my hand leading us to the front of the bus and off the steps now heading for the sidewalk.

“How far are you from here?”

Now shoving his hands in his pocket, licking over his lips.

“Couple houses down”

Without saying a word we walked in Silence until we finally reached the front stoop.

“Well I guess this is me”

I turned on my heels heading for the steps before I felt him tug at my arm lightly causing me to turn around facing him.

“Don’t play with me get ova’ here girl”

He wore that adorable devilish grin showing his pearly white teeth that always makes me weak , Dammit Aaliyah pull it together do not let this fine man see you crack under pressure!

“You gon’ do me like that just walk off without saying goodnight, and with my hoodie!”

I giggled nervously trying to keep myself from blushing so damn hard due to him calling me out on my childish antics.

“I’m sorry, But I did enjoy your company tonight I must admit”

wearing a huge grin on my face, I just couldn’t help it when i’m around him how could someone that I knew for such little time have me feeling like that already?

He stepped closer filling in the gap that was once between the two of us

“ I enjoyed being there with you Jay, We still on for next Friday?”

I nodded my head quickly unable to speak, not wanting to choke on my words. I watched as he stared at my lips then back at my face. He was eyeing me like i was something foreign to him, I couldn’t help but figgit under his gaze.

“What?”

I blurted out Unintentionally , He then gazed into my eyes while I did the same.

“Your just so damn beautiful ..”

My breathing became heavy, this was it he was going to kiss me and to be honest I didn’t give a damn if he did. he moved his hand to the side of my face slightly tilting his head. We both slowly began to move in closer into one another, We were so close I could feel his breath tickle my lips .

“Aaliyah, is that you ?”

The familare voice made the both of us pull back , Now facing the stoop where Moni stoop at the very top step in her pajama bottoms and a sports bar. she sure does have perfect timing, I could just kill her right about now.

“Y-Yea it’s me”

I replied trying to bring my breathing back to the normal pace it was before

“I better get a move on B prolly wondering where I am, goodnight Jay”

“Goodnight Rahkim , Be safe”

He nodded his head before walking in the  opposite direction we just came from. I rushed past Moni throwing my belongings on the sofa and heading to the kitchen to grab a water bottle.

“Who the hell was that?”

Oh god, let the thousands of questions began .

“Rahkim”

I replied back , sort and simple.

“When did you meet him? I never heard of this Rahkim before, since when we started keeping stuff from one another?!”

Closing the refrigerator there she stood with her arms crossed over her chest grilling me like she had some personal beef with me or something. Rolling my eyes I walked around her plopping down on the sofa trying to find something good on TV .

“It aint even like that “

I was lying straight through my teeth

“Well it looks like it was something, Yall damn sure was seconds away from locking lips. spill the tea bitch!”

“Well that obviously didn’t happen thanks to your nosey ass, I was thissss close!”

I shouted pinching my thumb and index finger together.

“My bad girl, I was trynna make sure my bestie was cool but I know to leave yo’ stankin ass outside next time!”

Grabbing the pillow that was once next to me went flying across the room whacking Moni upside her head, Causing he to give me the glare of death.

“Well when your ready to talk about this mystery man I’ll be in my room”

I watched as she stood to her feet making her way to the staircase.

“Wait!”

That was the one word she was waiting for, she swiftly turned on her heels with a coy grin on her face. She knew I would brake eventually and she knew not pressuring me into talking would eat me up on the inside.

“Remember that morning when I told you I had that heated argument with that asshole?”

She nodded her head waiting for me to continue .

“Well the guy that help handle the situation just so happens to be Rahkim”

I was now biting the side of my lower lip waiting for her reaction.

“Wait, so ol dude that you was mackin’ with outside just now is Rahkim?!”

Clutching the pillow close to her chest she was now smiling ear to ear with such  eagerness.

“Yea, long story short we’ve bumped into one another a couple of times. It was always this type of Chemistry but we never really reacted on it. He text me earlier tonight when i was at work asking to meet up, He came down to Sinner’s we chopped it up for a little and he wants to go out Friday night to some club”

“Ooooll, Aaaliyah girl you gotta go! You are going to go right?! It’s been forever since I seen you with a man, Your toy collection is getting out of hand”

Falling out on the sofa I couldn’t help but laugh obnoxiously loud at Moni’s last statement is sad but so true and we both know it.

“Well here’s the gag, He want me to bring a few of my girls and he’s going to bring a few of his mans”

“Biiitch I am there! Drinks, Men and Music. How could i turn that down? I’ve been dying to pull out my freakum dress!”

“They can't even compare us, we're rarer niggas . I never'd magine this shit comin' We swimmin' in money, we drownin' in hundreds.I keep a duffle bag on me like Tity Boi & Dolla . . .And if they don't love me, fuck whatcha talkin' 'bout I'm in love with the cash, I put that on my mama and father”

Rihanna x Nothing Is Promised

Rakim

“We were born to fuckin’ die, In the mean time get money”

 One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies. I live by that quote, My moms always told me “You were born alone and you gon’ die alone”  realest shit anyone has ever told me. 

I gazed at the the cream colored walls while biggie’s notorious lyrics filled throughout the bedroom, clenching my lips around the lit blunt inhaling nothing but the finest kush. Gripping up the black duffle bag that once occupied the corner of my room, i glanced over at the door confirming that it was locked before unzipping the duffle bag. Instantly nothing but dead presidents began flowing out the duffle  covering majority of the queen sized bed.

I maneuver over to my nightstand picking up the silver pistol, turning on the saftey and placing it in the draw  making sure to cover it with junk mail and a bunch of other bullshit i manage to store in there. slowly strolling back over to the bed i began counting out the money while still smoking my L, My fingers brushed pass multiple bills . Each stack i came across i wrapped a rubber band around them then tossing it back into the duffle, half way through counting out the rest of the cash my phone began ringing letting me know that i was being facetimed Tommie flashed across my screen in blood white letters

Before accepting the call i gave myself a quick glance over in the mirror, observing myself i spotted out the red thick liquid on my shirt and on my pants as well. Freeing myself from the bloody clothes , balling them up and putting them in the dirty clothes hamper i mentally cure myself for being so careless and not noticing that earlier, jogging over to my phone i answer the call instantly silencing the ringing that once filled the room. after accepting the call  waiting for it to connect there she appeared. “ Hey Daddy” she sang in her seductive  voice that I’ve grown to love. Tommie was something else bad little jawn that i met a couple months ago at a strip club i ain’t even gonna stunt she drives a nigga crazy forreal

I couldn’t help but to smirk at her fine ass with her back camera on standing in front of a full length mirror in a silk pink robe, she had it slightly gaped open showing off her black lacey G-string and matching bra. Her perky breast sat up perfectly as if they were greeting me, I admired her beautiful caramel skin that was always so soft as a baby’s bottom. She always had a heavenly sent to her making her even more irresistible. She ran her hot pink fingernails through her long blonde curly hair that fell to the middle of her back

“Wussp what’s popin’ whithchuh ma’” i replied licking over my lips I listened to her high pitch giggle through the phone “ Why you ain’t come see me earlier, what you was too wrapped up in some otha’ pussy that you forgot about me?” I rolled my eyes no longer looking into the screen anymore, bitch straight blew my shit she always wanna make shit into a unnecessary argument. What Tommie failed to realize was she wasn’t my bitch nor was i her nigga she just gave great top and got some good pussy, i’d never take her serious she ain’t the type that i could bring home to moms she just something to do when it’s nothing to do and that how it’s going to remain. “ Here you go with the bullshit T, i had some grown man shit to handle iight!?, you know the only pussy i be wrapped up in is you’s, so fix hat gorgeous face of your’s and cut ya’ shit”  my words were stern and harsh obviously putting he back in her place.

Sucking her teeth on the other line, now staring at me with her eyes slightly squinted giving me her signature death glare she finally spoke up “ Whatevea’ you can’t fool me Flacko i know you be fucking other bitches, but just know can’t none of them do it like i do and you know it”  with that being said she banged on me i shook my head chuckling to myself crazy ass bitch i mumbled to myself. I headed to the bathroom taking care of my hygiene and trying to scrub some of this dried up blood of my hands. Me and boys hit a major lick earlier today, Yeah it’s fucked up that i had to off a couple niggas to get this money but i got a family to feed and with the money  I’ve been making from dealing on the side plus the money i got now that’s enough to get my sister and my moms out this raggedy ass apartment.

This shit ain’t got nothing but bad memories, Me & B grew up in this house watching our moms get beat on in front of us, our pops always coming home in a drunken rage telling us how we were nothing but a mistake and how we would never be shit in life. Far from a picture perfect family shit, i even watched my pops die right in front of my face only at the age of 12. now that’s some traumatizing shit right there, I had no choose but to grow up fast and provide from my family and become the man of the house, I dropped out of school and the streets became my second home. Don’t get it fucked up the street life ain’t for everybody you gotta be built for shit like this, it’s a dog eat dog world out here so it’s eat or be eaten.

Moms got no idea how i’m making my money, I lied and told her i picked up a job downtown working on cars with my big cousin Quan. I never wanted to lie to my moms, but if she found out that i’m dealing and robbing niggas on the side she’d straight bug out. But money has to be made and bills need to be paid and that bullshit job my moms got going on ain’t cutting it, so i decided to take matters into my own hands. B is the only one aside from the guys that know of what i do to make money and to pay bills around her, she wasn’t on board at first but eventually she came around a promised to keep her mouth shut about it to moms.

On my way downstairs it was the sweet scent of my moms cooking floating around the house, just the smell it’s self had a niggas mouth watering and shit. Approaching the kitchen there she was in her house coat with he long light brown hair pinned up in a messy bun sitting perfectly on the top of her head, her slightly wide hips swayed back and fourth to old Marvin Gaye as she carelessly sang along to the lyrics  “Ooh baby, I'm hot just like an oven i need some lovin' And baby, I can't hold it much longer It's getting stronger and stronger And when I get that feeling I want sexual healing..Sexual healinggg, oh baby Makes me feel so fineee!!” i couldn’t help but smile at moms singing her heart out i slowly crept up behind her wrapping my arms around her waist swaying back and forth with her to the soulful melody of Marvin Gaye 

She quickly whipped her head around seeing who dare disturb her in the middle of cooking and belting out her favorite Marvin Gaye album “Boy i outta’ knock your head off scaring me like that!” we both bust out in a fit of giggles “Ayo chill ma’ don’t off me, i’m just trynna see what you cooking up in here that got the house smelling sooo good” i said putting the enphasis on good releasing her out of my grip i peak over her shoulder looking into the pots

The sweet smell of Collard Greens, Homemade candy yams and in the oven baked macaroni and currently frying on the oven fried chicken. Moms sure knew how work her magic in the kitchen, ain’t nothing like soul food made by your mother. I sat at the table grabbing some mail that was laying around skimming through it one in particular that caught my eye, i side eyed moms then continued reading the letter. I instantly got hot and i felt my blood boiling shooting up out of the chair i held the paper up with my jaw clenched tight out of anger “ Moms what’s this?” she closed the lid to one of the pots and turned around giving me her undivided attention “What’s what-”

Once she realized what was in my hand she didn’t even finish her sentence she walked over to where i stood snatching the paper out of my hand “ Don’t worry about that mess, I’ve got everything handled now go wash your hands and call Bianca down for dinner” trying to brush off the situation like it was nothing but i wasn’t having that, this shit is serious. “ Moms what do you mean you got everything handled?! You obviously don’t it says right here we about to be evicted within a week, when the hell was you gonna tell me what was up?” She slammed the plate down she once held in her hand on the counter looking directly in my eyes “You better watch your damn mouth! I ain’t one of them little nappy headed boys you be running around with, Now i wasn’t gonna say anything i was just gonna pick up more hours at the grocery store and by then i should had have the rest of the money that’s overdue”

She starting making plates and placing them on the table, it was silent and the tension was thick. “How much you need?” i asked her barely above a whisper she didn’t say anything at first , she finally broke the silence “ 3 thousand” I hung my head down in defeat . I slowly approached her wrapping my arms around her taking in her warm embrace “ Moms why didn’t you just tell me you needed help, i would had picked up more hours at the shop i would had looked for another job. it’s no way you gon’ make that much before next week moms” 

she sighted and start to sob “ I didn’t want to let you and Bianca down, I didn’t want you guys to look at me as a failure I want to set a example for my kids you know? I don’t know if i can get us out of this one Rakim” she bit her lip trying to control her sobs It broke my heart seeing moms cry she’s such a strong woman taking care of Bianca and myself all alone I’ve always looked up to my moms no matter how bad we struggled, I wiped away her tears falling for her hazel  brown eyes “ You’d never be a failure moms, ever. You do all you can for me and B and we both love and appreciate you for that, but your not super woman you can’t do everything alone” I walked her over to the kitchen chair sitting her down in  it “ How about a fresh start, How about we move to one of the decent parts of town one of those nice apartments with those stoops you like, what about that moms?”

“How we gonna afford something like that Rakim” she looked up at me with questioning eyes, I walked towards the front door grabbing my set of house keys “Don’t worry about it moms, like I said you ca’t do everything your self no matter how much you think yo ass super woman. I got this just chill out” she cracked a smile shaking her head at my use of profanity “Alright boy watch your mother, ol’ nappy headed self” I smiled knowing that i made her feel somewhat better “ I love you moms, don’t wait up and lock the doors. I’ll see you and B in the morning”  My head was filled with so many thoughts, i could for sure use a couple shots right now, or maybe a SHOT, Guess i’ll call Tommie up.

Aaliyah

“Hello, welcome to Sinner’s where you fantasies becomes reality, What can i start you two gentlemen off with?” Flashing the two older men the fakest smile for the seventh time tonight. Standing in my silver pumps, running my acrylic nails through my black 30 inch Cambodian extensions waiting for these two to request their drinks. I don’t know which was getting lower my patients or this doutches eyes, side eyeing him i watch as he practically undress me with his eyes.

 I watched as his eyes wondered to my bare smooth toffee tone legs, then to my thighs, this skimpy skirt that i was wearing made it hard to hide my goodies from pervs like him but it’s the dress code. Before he even got a chance to get to my breasts i cleared my throat showing just how impatient i was getting “ Um.. I’ll have 2 shot’s of Hennessy straight” I jot down his request followed by the other man as well “ I’ll be back with you drinks shortly, enjoy your time at Sinner’s” I roll my eyes strutting back to the bar back into my comfort zone.

I hated working here at this strip club, guys just drool over you like they never seen a woman before it’s so sad at how desperate these guys are and how willing they are to waste all their money on alcohol and strippers, I work as one of the bartenders here at Sinner’s. School isn’t gonna pay for it’s self, the money is easy and it works around my school schedule so I can’t really compalin besides these stupid sluty ass outfits they got us wearing, sex sells and boy are they right. Grabbing two shot glasses and releasing the brown liquid into the two shot glasses i place them on the tray “ Booth 3 Nicole, and watch out ol’ boy in the white polo shirt obviously has an eye problem and Isn’t afraid to show it” i shake my head giggling giving my girl Nicole a heads up “ They can look all they want as long as they old soggy asses don’t touch, i’m only 5000 more dollars away from getting my porsche!” she belted out walking the Tray full of shots over to the booth. i waved her off cracking up to myself she’a a mess

While things seem to slow down a little i creeped out of the side door with my beauty text book from school & my black & mild, i sat on the edge of the sidewalk opening up my book to the chapter we had started a couple days ago. Stuffing my ear phone in both ears and scrolling through my playlist until i landed on one of my favorite throwbacks Drake x Enough said i turn my volume up just enough to were i can also take notice to what’s going on in the outside world. I start reading through the chapter carelessly nodding my head and taking puffs of my black & mild here and there. My favorite verse was slowly approaching and i went in like my life depended on me to slay this verse with everything in me.

“Went from my nigga serving it by the tele to venues in Manchester Just swerving with Balotelli the fuck are you trying to tell me, Bothers me when you got to play therapist That shit's embarrassing they even bring up these niggas make a comparison They just got to forgive me, this watch is a 150 Still ain't got the time for a bitch to be acting iffy, Running through the city with niggas I'd give a kidney . . .”

Giving my best intimidating mean mug moving my hands along with every bar i spat telling a story with my hand motions, lost in my own little world with my eyes shut still nodding my head to the beat flowing through my earphone. I open my mouth ready to spit the next verse until someone else beat me to it

“Selling under 150 you niggas got to be kidding!? Is this even still a discussion? Don't you ever wake up disgusted, Every million I gain an enemy or a cousin & people's feelings have changed ever since I became something Girls that becoming ladies, & my friends are having babies & babies are dropping dead in my city, this shit is crazy! & I don't know if speaking on it helps This is shit that's on my mind I just keep it to myself You know . . “ 

I yank my earphones out my ears staring at the tall Chocolate stranger that seems yet so familiar. “ Ain’t know you could spit like that shorty, you got some potential. that’s one of the few songs i actually fuck with of drakes” that thick Harlem accent became familar, he approached me slowly coming out off of the dark side walk covered by the shadow of the buildings. Now getting closer to me the street light reveling him completely he had a red plastic cup in left hand and half of a unlit blunt in his other. I took in his features once again he had a baby face, his nose was sculpted perfectly , his moustache was thin and short but noticeable due to the street light beaming down on us, His brown eyes were nearly shut closed his lips were full and plump. His hair still remained in those worn out box braids pulled back into a pony tail, he didn’t look like himself from the last time when i seen him. He wore a Plain white t-shirt with a dark green flannel dressed over the white tee, his bottoms were white shorts that stopped a little above his kneekcaps. His feet were dressed in all black vans. his white high socks peeked out of his Vans completing his look.

“How much did you hear, gotta know how bad i embarased myself” i chuckled picking at myself for being so caught up in the song. He licked over his lips taking a sip of the mysterious content in his red cup. “You didn’t embarass yourself at all, you did pretty dope. You aint just no pretty face that’s a good thing” I felt my checking warmnig up, so he thinks im pretty huh? “ Thank you, what you doing around here this time of night? it’s  going on 2am i detected glimping at my phone to make sure i got the right time, taking another sip of his cup he sat next to me on the edge of the curb “ I should be asking you the same thing” he rasied one of his eyebrows looking at me waiting for an answer

I took a puff of my black releasing the smoking from my nose then back out of my mouth “ You know the usual i like to just look like a hooker and sit on the curb waiting to see who has the highest offer” I put on a serious face looking him dead in his waiting for his reaction. Instantly the brown mysterious liquor that I now detected to be Henny came squirting out of his mouth, I instantly burst out laughter calming myself down before speaking i snatch the cup out of his hand taking a sip of the strong substance “ Calm down i’m just finessin”, I work here at the bar” wiping the liquid off of his mouth and receiving his cup back he sparked up his half of blunt and took a long drag before speaking 

“You got jokes huh? since when you been working here, I’ve been here a couple times and I’ve never seen you behind  the bar” Rising to my feet and brushing the back of my mini skirt off getting rid of any dirt I grab my book & earphones “  I started a few months ago, I’m over this shit hole already. It’s something to keep money in my pockets and to help out with paying school off ya’ know” Taking the textbook out of my hand he slowly skim through a couple pages before handing it back “ You a school girl, beauty and brains, you don’t find much of that out here anymore, Stick with it yo forreal’ that’s the wave”

It was silent, not a awkward silence just us enjoying the moment of each other’s company and the stillness around us. “ Thanks for helping me out, you didn’t have to do that i could had handle myself” His eyes were lower then before when he first approached me due to the weed in his system. “ Don’t sweat it, that nigga can be a real bitch sometimes, i ain’t with that disrespecting woman shit” he jawline tighten out of anger thinking back on the situation that had happened a little over a week ago.