#pupares

(Athena is going through her 12th box of tissues. Ares is patting her back.)

Ares: Got you some more books.

Athena (sadly looks at them): I used to read those with Odysseus.

Ares (slides them away): How about sparring? That always makes you feel better.

Athena (sinks into pillow): Odysseus was good at sparring.

Ares (to himself): So help me, Odysseus, if my uncle doesn't kill you, I will.

Athena: Ares?

Ares: Yeah?

Athena: There IS something that might make me feel better.

Ares: What?

Athena (meekly): Well, I read that petting puppies can help.

Ares:...

Athena: It can lower stress and elevate mood.

Ares:...

Athena (baby owl eyes)

Ares (sighing): (turns into a puppy)

Athena (smiling as she gets to pet the pup)

Athena (brings up statistics)

Ares (counters with an equally good point)

Athena:...(tosses a stick)

Ares (visibly struggling)

Athena: It's killing you, isn't it?

Ares (strained): No.

Athena: Then I guess you wouldn't mind a second one. (Throws another stick)

Ares:...(runs after it) This doesn't mean you win!

Athena: Yes it does!

Ares (comes back with the stick, then throws a mouse)

Athena (visibly struggling)

Penelope: Of course, Sweetie.

Telemachus: Great! Okay, the first one is this: what's something that moves around really quietly, can turn its head surprisingly far, is super smart, and slashes mean people with claws?

Penelope: I think that would be an owl.

Telemachus: Ooh, cool. Okay, last question. What's something that gets really excitable, leaves you bones to say it's happy, is pretty fussy, and bites people it doesn't like?

Penelope: That sounds like a puppy.

Telemachus: Fun! Okay, then, Mom, I got followed home by an owl and a puppy today.

Penelope: Aw! Really? Where are they? I want to see too.

Telemachus (turning to the doorway): Come on in!

(Athena and Ares enter the room)

Ares (scolding): This is what happens when you train mortals in the rain.

Athena (sniffling): It was worth it.

Ares (wraps her in a blanket): Are you really going to let a COLD defeat you in the battle for your health?

Athena (disgruntled grumbles): No.

(Several bowls of hot nectar soup later...)

Athena: I feel much better now...but I do feel bad for getting you sick.

Ares (frowning): Biological warfare. I see how it is.

Athena (wraps him in a blanket): Now, I'm sure you won't let a cold defeat you either.

Ares (puppy sneeze): No.

Ares: So?

Athena: So, I still want a better view than this.

Ares: How does this involve me?

Athena (looks at a small plant, then back at Ares)

Ares: I'm not doing that.

Athena: A nice brother would.

Ares: Since when does anyone call me nice?

Athena: Aphrodite does. She'd probably think this was sweet of you.

Ares:...they ARE pretty flowers.

Athena: See?

Ares: I'm taking these to her. You can hop on for as long as it takes me to get there. Then you have to go.

Athena (hops onto the stem): I can work with that.

Ares: Why do I always have to be the one to look?

Athena: Just do it.

Ares: No. Dad's already annoyed. You do it.

Athena: Why should I?

Ares: Because he won't get angrier if he sees you.

Athena: What if we look together?

Ares: I guess.

Ares and Athena:

(Image from Bored Panda)

Zeus (staring at them)

Ares:...I think he heard us.

Ares: But we haven't even had a snowball fight yet.

Athena: We can do that tomorrow.

Ares (sees a stick)

Athena (also sees the stick): Ares, no...

Ares (starts going over to it): Just five more minutes.

Athena: I'm going inside without you.

Ares: Hold on.

Athena: Why?

Ares (picks up stick): Because this would make the perfect perch. See?

Athena:...

Ares: Will you stay out longer now?

Athena: Fine.

Athena (sternly): Ares, put down the slipper.

Ares (doesn't do this)

Athena: DOWN.

Ares (unhappily drops it)

Athena: Good. Now--

(Ares runs off and chews on the leg of a chair)

Athena (frustrated): Don't do that either.

(Fussy puppy noises)

Athena (frowning, then hopeful): Want a stick?

(The puppy is intrigued)

Athena (flies up with the stick and tosses it)

(They proceed to play for a while until the puppy is tuckered out. He curls up under the owl's wing)

Ares (sleepily): You're kinda fun, Sis.