#pulp fandom

We all know Jarvis is an incredible songwriter, artist and well...a British national treasure. I want to focus on a couple of songs in which he adopts a paternal figure to look after us, girls. Growing up as a female in the 90's it wasn't until the mid 00's that I took his advice in my own personal life. And for that, he's the fucking man.

Exhibit A

This song talk about how important it is to not give away your virginity to the first asshole that comes along, because it'll be a bad experience in the end. He mentions the social pressure and all those things we have heard before When we are being pressured into having sex. Funny thing aside, Pulp made a mini-documentary called "Do you remember the first time?" In which members of the band, and other celebs (Jo Brand, John Peel, etc.) Talked about how their first time was, and lo and behold. Their experiences were not pretty.

Exhibit B

From Jarvis' solo album. In here he adopts the friend persona and tells you about all these things that you need to hear when you first start to see the red flags in your relationship. He kindly reminds you that time is too short to cry over twats who don't have your best interest as a priority. Weird fact, Nancy Sinatra covered this song. How fucking cool is that?

Exhibit C

This one is hands down one of my favourite Pulp songs. It's a post break up song. Wether you are a girl or a boy, the lyrics advice you to move on with your life, because most likely the other person doesn't give two fucks about you. That is a powerful thing to accept when you are in that vulnerable state, but nonetheless necessary. I listened to this song at least 3 times everyday the first weeks after my ex-husband left me for a girl 10 years younger than him. Jarvis helped me get up every morning.

*Feel free to add more songs. I am focusing on break ups. But have y'all notice his love for single moms? In a world where single moms are not something to obsess over, he puts them on a pedestal, like the sassy boss bitches they are.

Thank you so much Jarvis. Thank you

No sleep till later - Pulp

You ever tried to play chess with yourself, inspired by Philip Marlowe (you actually can’t).

Your dog is named Woola.

You wonder who on social media has the “Innsmouth Look.” I’m guessing Sean Davis and Trey Gowdy.

You actually tried to solve a personal issue using Null-A logic.

Your ideal imaginary girlfriends are Thuvia, Pat Savage, Princess Margaret the Black Flame, and Telzey Amberdon.

You keep a short wave radio by your bed to protect you from Vitons.

You once tried to visit the Cahuenga Building on Hollywood Boulevard and were secretly crushed to find it was a bank instead of a PI office.

You once visited the 85th Floor of the Empire State Building and were secretly crushed it was just an observation deck, no stuffed pterodactyl in sight.

You’re terrified of even mentioning the Shaver Mystery online because it might attract Shaver Mystery cranks to you.

You’d give most any worldly possession to ride the “flea run.”

You once forced your little brother to play Jetan (Martian Chess) with you, with post-its over checkers.

You curse whatever moron prevented Will O’Brien from following “King Kong” up with “The War Eagles.”

You’re still pissed about L. Sprague de Camp’s edits to Conan the Barbarian.

The following comparison makes sense to you: Nate Silver is Hari Seldon, and Donald Trump is the Mule.

You constantly mention that Superman is based off Philip Wylie’s “Gladiator” to the point it’s gotten goddamn annoying.

You’ve called an evil ex-girlfriend a “total Shambleau.”

You have used the stroke-victim 30s slang from the Lensman novels in your everyday life. “On the beam and on the green, clear ether for your flit!”

You organize your personal cliques based on the number system in “Last and First Men.”