#puff.txt

this took so much longer than it needed to 😕 but oh well

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he expects tears, condolences, pity, as though he were a child.

but he doesnt get pity.

they ask him to stay for dinner, and they cook his favourite dish. they dont act like hes a dead man walking, they dont act like the doctors did.

when the treatments start, hes exhausted. he drags himself to work because his career is his passion, but his hair is unbrushed, hes weeks behind on laundry, and his apartment looks like a tornado ran through it. he eats a lackluster breakfast at his desk, and he doesnt eat dinner at all (weekends are even worse). he takes public transportation to work and appointments because he cant drive in the state hes in.

kinger and queenie decide that this just wont do.

they leave for work earlier in the morning to pick up scratch — in the morning, queenie joins him in the backseat, and in the evening, kinger does. they stay at his place for a while after dropping him off, cleaning up the place and preparing meals for him. when scratch comes to work with his hair in a rats nest, kinger will brush it for him and ask after his health as he eats breakfast at his desk.

the rest of the office pitches in where they can — wormo cleans up his desk (and makes sure to adhere to his extremely specific organization style), spike brings him coffee, rattie shares food she brought from home, bizco stays late so scratch doesnt have to, and everyone takes on a little more work so scratch can breathe a little easier.

scratch was never close with anyone before c&a. he doesnt quite understand how so many people can care so much about him, but hes not about to take it for granted. even when the office tells him not to spend the money, he orders treats and presents for them as shows of gratitude.

when his behaviour starts to shift as the tumours effects on his brain become more pronounced, kinger is the only one who doesnt have a harder time understanding him. kingers always had a screw loose, its a common joke in the office, but that loose screw allows him to connect in a unique way with someone whos actively falling apart. where others find it difficult to make sense of a single word that comes out of scratchs mouth, kinger nods enthusiastically and adds onto the idea in a way that proves he understands what hes trying to get across. he can even translate scratchs ideas into something the rest of the team can wrap their heads around. they have nights where they share a tray of snacks and scratch will rattle off everything on his mind that hes afraid no one will get, and kinger gets it.

queenie is lacking that slight tear in ones sanity that allows kinger to understand scratch the way he does, but scratch still connects with her better than the rest. a lifetime with kinger allows her to comprehend scratch a little better than the others, and even when she doesnt understand, she takes interest, asks questions, listens. when he struggles to wrap his head around things that used to be easy, she walks him through every step and repeats and redoes things until he understands. he thought he would feel stupid, having his hand held through such simple tasks, but queenie doesnt make him feel stupid.

the team is his family, but kinger and queenie are a step above. hes never felt so attached to someone in his life.

when everyone is trapped in the circus, the first thing they do is figure out who everyone is. they cant remember any names, cant see any faces, and even voices are unfamiliar, but they have memories to cross-reference.

when scratch sees two chess pieces approach the circle holding hands, he has an idea of who they are.

and when kinger mentions the chessboard on his desk, he knows hes right.

rick is just as dependent on morty.

healthy rick tells toxic rick that the latter took all of his “irrational attachments”, clearly referring to morty. and if you look at toxic rick’s face when he’s holding a dying toxic morty, you can see that morty’s pain hurts him too. the fact that the living embodiment of all of ricks toxic traits (including his belief that everyone else, including morty, is vastly inferior to him) STILL loved morty enough to SACRIFICE HIS LIFE AND AUTONOMY FOR HIM leads me to believe that no version of rick c-137 can fathom living without morty by his side.

when the timeline is falling apart, he gives morty his collar — and the timeline does not split, meaning that even if hes scared to die, hes 100% confident that he wants to sacrifice himself so morty can survive. when theyre freezing to death, he gives morty his coat, hoping to give him even the tiniest bit of warmth and comfort. when he believes hes dying and morty is trying to save him, he apologizes and tells morty to leave him behind so that he can escape with his life. even the worst possible version of rick, a being of pure toxicity, sacrifices himself out of love for morty.

that man loves morty so much that it confuses him. why is the smartest man in the universe, who sees himself as a god, willing to throw away everything for this kid that pisses him off every other day? why does he protect him, bond with him, keep a picture of him in his wallet, when he could so easily be replaced and nothing would change? its nonsensical, its irrational.

but its love.

if youll allow me to get even more tinfoil-hatty: the vindicators ride!

you cant tell me that the ride wasnt about morty. my immediate thought is that when rick started crying, he realized how “stupid and emotional” he was being, and instantly chickened out of being vulnerable at the last second by spitting out the first name he could think of to try and convince morty this open display of love wasnt about him. rick started talking really fast when the noob noob twist hit, which is a classic indicator of a character making shit up on the fly — not to mention that the platform made a positive ding when morty stepped on it (and, yknow, nothing exploded), indicating that morty was in fact the correct answer. (RICK FUCKING ASKED WHO NOOB NOOB WAS AT THE END OF THE EPISODE. HE WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT DUDE.)

rick is terrified of letting morty know just how much he means to him, because he thinks that if hes vulnerable with him, morty will stop respecting him. but at the same time, he adores morty to the point that on multiple occasions, he decides that death is preferable to living without him.