That feel when your ptsd is really bad and your impulse to self destruct is hard to resist but you also know that you blocked your abuser and anyone directly connected to your trauma on pretty much every social media except for TikTok because it didn’t become popularized until after the incident so you use that as an excuse to look up all their old usernames to see if you can find them to “block them” and at first you have self control and don’t actually watch any videos on any of their pages just block them right away but then your impulses weren’t satisfied so you go through the Instagrams of anyone who even remotely knew them and scrolled through to find pictures of them because technically you’re not looking at any of the people who hurt you but of course you undeniably are because apparently you have no regard for your own mental well-being and are for some reason determined to undo any and all progress or healing you’ve done in the last several years✨
