#ptmc

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ten: thirty

. . .

   I DON'T NECESSARILY ENJOY BIRTHDAYS. Maybe I should rephrase. I don't necessarily enjoy my birthday. I am a summer baby, so when I was younger, most of my friends were either out of town or on vacation whenever I tried to have a party. Plus, having two dead siblings makes it extremely hard to celebrate anything, really.

   Eleven birthdays without Carmen and one now without Silas.

   The day before my birthday, I had work. Kiara and Dylan decked out our office with a sign that said 'Happy Birthday' strung up just above the window. A paper chain made out of colorful construction paper crisscrossed on the ceiling as well.

   "You didn't have to."

   "We wanted to," she hugged me tightly, "You deserve it."

   I smiled, "Thank you."

   Downstairs, the staff had also thrown a little something together. Day shift lingered just long enough to wish me a happy birthday and grab a slice of cake before funneling out. Parker practically restrained me as our colleagues sang to me. Shen filmed me as I blushed an uncomfortable amount and tried to hide behind my hands. Honestly, that part was one of my least favorite traditions. And that's coming from me.

   After being force-fed the vanilla sheet cake, I jokingly told everyone they had patients to see. Hugs were given. A card signed by everyone was placed in my hands while words of encouragement and jokes were tossed around.

   Turning thirty was an odd feeling.

   I wanted nothing more than to crawl out of my own skin and retreat for the rest of the day.

   Luckily, tonight wasn't too strenuous. Mostly unhoused individuals. Louie, one of our frequent flyers, heard it was my birthday and sang to me. His voice serenading me didn't irritate me nearly as much. He was very sweet and complimentary.

   "Enjoy your day, Alba Mae."

   "Will do."

   "Have a drink for me," he chuckled.

   "I think you have that covered for both of us, Louie."

   Barely two hours into the shift, Jack appeared with an inquisitive look, "How you holding up?"

   "Is that a trick question?"

   "Shouldn't be," his mouth twitched as his eye narrowed, "You looked a bit overwhelmed in there earlier."

   I followed his eye line to the staff lounge, where the decorations still hung up.

   "Ever the observer, Doctor Abbot."

   "Some would take it as a compliment," he replied, his body now leaning forward on his forearms.

   He was on the opposite side of the counter, a little less than arm's distance at this point.

   "I don't like being perceived," I half-joked while tugging my cardigan a little tighter around my chest.

    "Since when?" Jack asked, disbelieving.

   "Since today." I sucked in a sharp breath through my clenched teeth.

   My feet pushed the chair I was in away from the desk, and I stood. Crossing the distance between us, I poked a finger into his bicep.

   "Who's being nosy now?"

   "I can be nosy," he shrugged me off, "I can also be concerned."

   It was kinder and softer than I think even he intended. Jack turned to face me, one arm still bearing some of his weight on the counter.

   "Stop avoiding the question, Alba."

   The way he said my name sounded a little serious. His brows rose, waiting for me to give a smart remark or answer truthfully.

   "I am okay," I spoke slowly, "I will be okay."

   "Okay."

   His face sobered, asking for honesty. I liked it when Jack looked at me; it was fun and caused a lot of things to stir... but I hated it when he peered a little too far.

   "I'm surrounded by people who love and care for me and yet—"

   I took a second, trying to gather the words to properly express the painful hollowness in my chest.

   "I feel undeserving of it. I will be thirty years old tomorrow, and somehow I still feel lost and unsure of my life. I miss my brother. I miss my sister. I miss being able to get out of bed in the morning and my joints not hurting."

   Jack chuckled dryly, "That last part only gets worse."

    I forced a humourless laugh, my face retreating into my hands for some comfort. My palms ran down the length of my face before falling limply to my side. My contacts blurred slightly under the pressure. I blinked a few times until my vision cleared.

   Jack was still looking at me.

   "As for the other parts, you're allowed to feel the pain. That being said, they'd want you to enjoy yourself. Be happy."

   "I know."

   My hands pushed up my sleeves, and I crossed my arms as silence briefly yawned between us. With a lighter heart, I tried to focus on the good.

   "Will you be going out with us tomorrow?" I asked.

   "Why?"

   Jack rose to his full height and mirrored my stance. His eyes peered down at me while keeping his chin up, "So you can get me drunk and take advantage of me?"

   I scoffed, "Who knows what a cigarette and alcohol will drive me to do?"

   He shook his head. "That wasn't intended to be a challenge."

   "I must say, Doctor Abbot," I moved to walk past him, "I have been known to flirt under the influence of tequila."

   "That's interesting," his pointer finger tapped at his chin, "You tend to flirt even without the influence of tequila."

   "I'm shameless," I shrugged and responded flatly, "What's your excuse?"

   "My excuse?" He asked, amused.

   "Yeah, you're a flirt too."

   "Oh, I don't flirt. That's just my charm."

   "Right," I nodded, "Your charm."

   "What can I say... I'm irresistible."    I rolled my eyes, and that must have been the reaction he wanted.

   "More like irritable."

    "You are a very frustrating person," he spoke bluntly but not rudely.

   "So I've been told," I smiled, almost proud.

—

   The morning of my birthday, I opened my front door to a flower arrangement. I smiled, already knowing who sent it.

   Derek hadn't missed a single birthday since coming into my life. Every year, he'd send me a bouquet of lilies accompanied by a card.

   This time it read Happy Birthday, Alba Mae. Miss you and love you always, kiddo. Love, Derek.

   When Carmen passed, we made a promise with Derek to keep him in our lives. He was family. I honestly couldn't remember a time without him in my life. A secondary sibling I didn't know I needed, much like Jemmie.

   We got lucky with him.

   Derek has a girlfriend now, and her name is Lizzie. I haven't met her yet, but if Derek likes her, I'm sure she's amazing. They have been together for a little over a year now, and in truth, I was only a little worried the flowers would stop. But that wasn't like him. Derek was and forever will be ingrained in our lives. One last gift bestowed upon us by my sister.

   My chest warmed, and a smile split across my lips as I pulled out my phone to text him.

ALBA:    Love you. Miss you. Thank you.

D:    You deserve nothing but the best, Mae. Call me when you can. We need to catch up.

ALBA:     Is now okay?

D:    All yours.

   I put him on speakerphone and went about my morning routine. He had adopted a puppy recently, and she was very chaotic and rambunctious. Apparently, she had already torn some of the sofa and broken a few flower pots. I joked with him, saying CiCi was the same way. Except it was a vase shattering on the tile when she turned around too quickly, and the fairy wings she had on clipped it.

   He asked me to tell him more about CiCi, my new job, if I was making friends, and how I was liking the apartment he helped me find.

   I told him about how CiCi is getting taller and truly developing a personality, "Her heart reminds me of Carmen's."

   I told him about work, about Parker, Shen, and Jack. I could hear the smile in my voice.

   "I'm building a group of my own. It's small, but they're good people."

   "I'm happy for you, kiddo."

   I asked him about Lizzie, and he shared as much as he felt comfortable with. Derek knew I wanted him to be happy, but I also knew talking about Lizzie with me might have felt... complicated for him. He loves my sister even still after all these years. He told me a part of him will always belong to her.

   I reassured him countless times that she wanted this for him— love, happiness, a prosperous life for him that wasn't haunted by her memory but uplifted by it.

   Lizzie was good for him; I could see and hear it in the way his voice and face suddenly looked younger. A spark was coming back. I encouraged him to pursue her, to chase that light, just as long as he promised to still check in.

   "Alba Mae, no one could make me stop loving you and your family."

   I trust people too fast; it's hurt me one too many times before, but when Derek made a promise to me, I knew he'd keep it.       We chatted for an hour longer about life, about slowly settling into a post-Silas world, and about finding my footing in Pittsburgh. A new chapter, a new start.

   "Take care of yourself, Mae."

   "I will do my best," I answered truthfully.

   "Stay hydrated tonight, have fun, celebrate."

   "Sir, yes, sir."

   He chuckled, "M'kay, kiddo. Love you."

   "Love you too."

   When I hung up the phone, silence deafened me. A longing opened up inside, wide and raw. I hadn't realized quite how truly lonely I had been feeling. The apartment seemed too big and empty, too many hidden echoing memories bouncing in my head. I was surrounded by people who loved me, and yet the ones I wanted most weren't here.

   My chin turned up to the ceiling, and I released a heavy sigh, "I miss you guys."

   No response. Just an honest confession, hoping someone or something somewhere heard it and held onto it for me.

   I changed and got ready for the day. My phone buzzed with birthday wishes from new and old friends. I was momentarily thrown off guard when Jack's name appeared on my screen. Why was he calling? I unlocked my car door with one hand while swiping my thumb across my screen to answer.

   "Should I be worried?" I asked, very amused.

   "Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday," he reasoned casually.

   "You know, most people in this day and age just send a quick text," I remarked as I tossed my purse in my passenger's seat.

   "I'm horrible at texting," he countered, "Besides, what's so wrong with calling people?"

   "Nothing," I hummed, "Younger people fear it, I think cause they didn't grow up with a landline. I don't mind calling; it's easier than having to type everything. Everyone's just more inclined to shoot a text rather than call. It's the new way of the world."

   "It's harder to avoid a call if you're persistent enough."

   "And who are you persistently calling?" I asked, my brow quirking up.

   "My deli guy," he answered blandly, "Anyway, we are getting off topic here."

   I set my phone on its stand and started up the car.

   "And what topic would you like to be on?"

   It came out a little lascivious and teasing. Something in the back of his throat grumbled, and I swear I could hear his eyes roll in his tone, "The topic of this conversation is ending. I regret calling."

   "I'm sorry. And no, you don't," I laughed, "Thank you for calling me, Jack. I appreciate it. Seriously. I like hearing your voice."

   "I would hope so." He cleared his throat, "I like hearing your voice too."

   We sat with the confession for a few seconds. I turned my AC on and buckled up before pulling out of my parking spot.

   "See you later tonight, right?"

   "Yeah," it was gentle, "And I am expecting a rematch, Ruiz."

   "Ahhh," I hummed through a grin, "It will be a brutal loss. I was holding back before, Abbot."

   "We'll see," he snickered low and deep.

   He redirected the conversation after a bit, asking me where I was.

   "In the car heading to see my family," I flicked my turn signal on to go left, "Then grabbing lunch with some friends who can't make it out tonight before heading home to get ready."

   "Busy day."

   "Very much so," I said, "We are planning on meeting at the bar around 9, if that's not past your bedtime."

   "Wow, I expect that talk from Shen... but not from you," he feigned hurt.

   "I apologize." A laugh sputtered out of me.

   "See you then."

—

   Pool balls cracked across red felt tables, and laughter spilled from the cluster of doctors, nurses, and non-work friends who had claimed two pushed-together tables near the back of the pub. It was, in fact, the same bar where Shen had his birthday a few months ago.

   My work friends mingled with the people I met through my brother at the VA. It felt odd to have both worlds collide. Jade and Sana, nurses from the VA, pulled me away to take a shot of tequila. The liquid burned, and I hissed as it went down a little unforgivingly.

   "That is the last one," I declared after a deep inhale.

   "Not by a long shot. This is the pregame, baby." Jade rubbed at my shoulders, "Lots of dancing in your future, we need you loose."

   Princess and Perla pulled me aside so we could do a beautiful, albeit slightly off-key, version of Silver Springs together. The karaoke only continued when Claire, Sana, and Jade serenaded me with Super Trooper.

   A brief moment of reprieve came when I chugged a small plastic cup of water.

   "Didn't know you had those kinds of pipes on you," Jack seemingly emerged from thin air.

   Proudly, I bowed at the waist.

   "Oh yeah," I cheerfully remarked, "I used to be in a band."

   Jack huffed into his drink before taking a sip, not the least bit surprised.

   "Of course you were."

   His smile only encouraged mine to grow.

   "Yup, back in high school. We mostly played covers... I think we tried an original once, but sadly, our star burned too bright and fast."

   The green in his eyes looked darker and closer to brown in this lighting. His lashes were heavier tonight, weighed down by alcohol and the late hour, I'm sure.

   "We were called the Maraschinos."

   "Like the cherry?"

   "Exactly."

   I drifted closer to him. For a long moment, neither of us says anything. Music started up again, and someone started to sing.

   "Wanna come sing? Or dance?"

   It came out slow and sweet. My nose scrunched at the playful offer.

   Jack shook his head softly. "I'm okay with admiring from afar."

   "Do you do that a lot? Admire from afar?"

   "Would it bother you if I did?"

   The question made my skin grow hot. I formulated what to say back in my head, but the words stuck in my throat. If I were being honest in that moment, I didn't care about whether or not he was watching the party as a whole or me. I was very much distracted by the way his muscles flexed when he crossed his arms over his chest and the way his lips pressed to the rim of his bottle.

   I was distracted by the way his eyes dove right into mine as he held my gaze. Something earnest grew between us. For a moment, I considered following the heat that started in my stomach and spread to my chest, but I didn't want to drift too far.

   "No," I answered truthfully.

   My feet carried me just half a step closer, and Jack inhaled deeply. It had been a while since my space had been invaded to the point of breathlessness. Jack didn't say anything; he just watched me tilt my head to the side, examining him.

   "Alba!" A voice shouted from behind us.

   Parker had her phone out and pointed at the stage as Shen bounced on his feet. The mic hung loosely in his hand as he prepped for his song. NSYNC blasted through the speakers surrounding the stage.

   I turned back to Jack. He cocked his head, mirroring mine.

   "I'm being summoned." My thumb jerked over my shoulder to the gathering group.

   "Go," he gestured with his bottle, "I'll be here."

   His eyes momentarily flicker up and down my body. I self-consciously adjusted the plunging neckline of the bodysuit and waited until his gaze found mine again.

   "Keep admiring from afar." A coy smile tugged at my lips.

   I pried my eyes open and joined Parker, very much feeling flushed. An arm looped around my shoulders; it was Claire. She sang along with Shen, her beer-occupied hand swaying in the air.

   "You're smiling," Claire pointed out knowingly after a few seconds."

   "I always smile," I reasoned, willing the warmth to go away.

   "This smile is different, though." Her eyes ticked over to the bar briefly. "This is a smitten smile. This is a is-the-cute-greying-doctor-I-spend-every-Wednesday-with-staring-at-my-ass kind of smile."

   "No comment." I hummed, doing a piss poor job at hiding my blush.

   "See," she poked at my side, smiling smugly.

   The blonde pulled me toward her and handed me her drink. She primped my hair and adjusted my bra. She slapped my ass and held up two thumbs.

   "Go have fun, sexy."

   "Trouble," I playfully scolded as I took a sip and handed her back her drink.

   Once Shen finished, Jack and I naturally found each other again. His expression was soft until we started playing our aforementioned rematch game.

    Tipsy me began to pull out most of my pool tricks.

   Jack was one to stare, yes, but his gaze never wandered. He was very respectful and mindful in that way. However, tonight he watched me. I caught the way his eyes diverted from mine the second I caught him staring at my chest when I bent over to sink a ball into the pocket diagonally for me.

   The tips of his ears went red. My lips split into a grin that worsened the pink hue that was crawling up his neck. I kinda loved that I distracted him.

   I almost regretted not stretching out the game longer. The sly glances and lighthearted taunting were more intoxicating than any of the alcohol I consumed all night. Brief touches masked as playful chiding were truly the nail in the coffin.

   "Over before the game even began, Jack." I offered my mock condolences, "I did warn you."

   He bowed his head and let out a self-deprecating laugh, "You did."

   I set my cue aside and felt Jack's heat behind me as he did the same. My chin turned toward the ceiling to meet his eyeline. I shifted on my feet and deeply inhaled. I felt lightheaded. The tequila and the closeness make my skin warm. Too warm.

   "You put up a fight," I offered, only mildly teasing him.

   "Did I?" He laughed.

   The air around us is dense, thick with unspoken glances and unlabeled attraction. It descended on us like a bubble into another world. I needed to get some air, to breathe, to cool off from whatever this feeling was.

   I should walk away... friends don't invade others' skin like this. I should pretend the feeling isn't there. Shouldn't I? I would if it meant nothing changed... if it meant that this good person that came into my life would stick around, then I would.

   Instead, I asked if he wanted to join me outside.

   "Lead the way."

    Jack's fingers briefly touched my back in a guiding motion. Dangerous. Red flashing lights blinded me behind my eyes. Don't. Don't do that.

   I need a cigarette. I need air. I need this heady feeling to leave me alone.

   Jack maneuvered his way in front of me and held the front door open. We sidestepped a few people as they passed us.

   My hand rummaged through my purse until it found the disposable pink lighter I had thrown in there earlier today.

   "Just so you know, I haven't made this a habit. Drunken cigarettes don't count."

   I wordlessly told him to hold my lighter as I dug through my purse for the same pack I had on the roof. An 'ahah' fell from my lips when I found it buried near a compact and lipstick.

   I held up the carton, hoping that he'd notice that only the one was missing from the lineup. My fingers fished one out and placed it between my lips.

   Jack held up the lighter, and it flickered to life.

   "Trust me, I'm well aware of the dangers," I mumbled.

   "Hey, I'm not one to judge."

   When the tip began to smoke and glow, I inhaled.

   "Thank you."

   We stood in silence for a bit, just enjoying the night air and the other's proximity—neither of us rushing to end the brief moment of quiet.

   "Thanks for inviting me tonight," Jack said as he tucked his hands into his front pockets.

   "Thanks for coming," I smiled.

   I hated the giddiness that he sparked in me... it felt like I was a kid again waiting for my crush to notice me and confirm the feelings are mutual and not just a figment of my imagination.

   "Have a good time tonight, okay? Call me if you need anything."

   My head turned. "You thinking about heading out already?"

   "Yeah, I'm not one for goodbyes," he shrugged, "I much prefer an Irish exit."

   I nodded, "Sounds like your speed."

   "Figured you deserved a goodbye, though."

   "Wow, what an honor."

   My eyes brightened. There's that look again between the two of us. The one from before, in the kitchen, in the staff lounge, across the hub, hell, the one from the bar a few minutes ago.

   Hazel eyes swam with some sort of emotion I couldn't really pin down. Maybe, if I weren't as tipsy, I would've seen it as infatuation. But, no. It's just... nice. Jack likes to take care of people. He showed up for Shen's party, too. Platonic. Strictly platonic...

   Before I could overthink it, I closed the remaining gap between us, leaned up on my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. Quick and sudden. The stubble against my lips was a pleasant surprise.

   Shock. Both on his end and mine. I could feel it in the air like another presence. Fuck. I shouldn't have done that. Why did I do that? Jack stood there, intrigued and delighted, hand brushing his cheek. A slow smile spread across his face, and he simply nodded his head.

   "I'm gonna go back in now before I do another impulsive thing." I gestured frantically behind me, turned quickly on my heels, and stomped out my cigarette, "' Kay bye."

   I didn't really allow him to do or say anything back. My feet were already carrying me back into the crowd, back into the heat of the bar, and back into the swell of bodies and music.

   The night continued in a blur of drinks, dancing that would surely leave me sore in the morning, and drunken conversations shared amongst friends.

   I wasn't completely sure how I made it home. Intoxicated Alba had somehow managed to brush her teeth, remove most of her makeup, and strip out of her clothes just to leave them haphazardly tossed on the floor.

   Hungover Alba managed to wake up diagonally, sleeping amongst tousled bed sheets. My contacts were dried up and stuck to my headboard, with my phone not quite making it onto my charger.

   God, what time was it?

   I stretched for my glasses and instantly regretted how fast I was moving. Slow is best. Very slow. Half a water bottle sat on the dresser as well. My free hand reached for it, and I had it down in no time.

   With clearer vision, I checked my phone. My battery was red and extremely low. Yup, nine percent. Sounds about right. It was also nine in the morning. I think we managed to get home around two, if I wasn't mistaken.

   My body protested my movement, begging to stay in bed just a little longer.

   Buzz. Buzz.

JACKASS:    Did you make it out alive? Or should I send out a search party?

   A chuckle slipped out from my chapped lips. I instantly regretted it. Slowly, I moved to lie on my back. Disheveled hair gathered around my head and spread out amongst my pillow. I tugged my duvet just below my chin and took a picture. It wasn't flattering by any means, mascara still clung to my lashes and smudged onto my eye bags.

   I hit send and attached a quick message, Proof of life.

   A response came a few moments later.

JACKASS:    The land of the living humbly welcomes you back, Sleeping Beauty.

ALBA:    I think I need the last rites read to me. I don't think I'm making it out of this one.

JACKASS:    Dramatic. I have a breakfast sandwich and some tea coming your way from a spot I like. Eat it, take a shower, enjoy your time off.

   My chest tensed, and I nervously rubbed my feet together.

ALBA:    Jack, you didn't have to do that.

JACKASS:    Wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to.

ALBA:    You do this for all your hungover coworkers or just me?

   My eyes crinkled shut, fuck... don't mention the cheek kiss. Don't mention the stupid kiss.

JACKASS:    Just the ones that beat me at pool.

   Thank god.

ALBA:    Thank you. You are a lifesaver.

JACKASS:    These hands of mine are healing.

   I snorted, "Oh, I'm sure they are capable of more than that."

ALBA:    From your lips to God's ears, Doc. Thank you again. I appreciate you.

JACKASS:     Anytime.

   I let my phone drop to the mattress, only slightly relieved he didn't bring up the stupid cheek kiss. It just delayed the inevitable, I suppose, but for now, I let myself enjoy the feeling of being thought of for a little while longer.

For those curious about her 30th birthday record:

#30 ( the playlist. )

You Are My Sunshine . . . Jonny Cash Groovin' . . . The Young Rascals Make Your Own Kind Of Music . . . Cass Elliot Brown Eyed Girl . . . Van Morrison Songbird . . . Fleetwood Mac Tiny dancer . . . Elton John Can't Take My Eyes Off of You . . . Ms. Lauryn Hill You Are The Sunshine Of My Life . . . Stevie Wonder

Brendon is working on paperwork for a string of consults he had just finished when a laugh pulls him from his thoughts.

Not just any laugh.

Yours.

He looks up to see you laughing in conversation with Trinity Santos.

He’s immediately captivated by you.

Brendon’s had a crush on you for a few months now but is scared you won’t reciprocate the feelings or give him a chance.

You’re sunshine embodied. You wear your heart on your sleeve and have more empathy in one finger than anyone could have in their entire body.

Then there’s him with a brooding attitude, resting bitch face, and intimidating demeanor that is completely opposite of you.

He sees you look over at him, your smile getting bigger,

You wave at him before saying something to Trinity before making your way over to him.

“Hey shark!” you say while propping your arms on the desk counter.

He can’t help but smile back, completely smitten with you.

“Hey star” he greets while giving you his full attention.

The nickname was specifically picked by Brendon in reference to your bright and glowing personality. 

It was special and you loved it.

You loved more than the nickname.

You loved Brendon.

Some of the pitt crew tried encouraging you to say something to him but you couldn’t.

What if I’m annoying?

Does he think I’m ‘too happy’?

What if I don’t look good today?

Would he even feel the same?

Those were just a few thoughts that held you back every day from pursuing your favorite surgeon.

You gently tap his hand as you start to back away.

“If I don’t see you before shift change, have a great day and a good night Brendon.”

“I told you it’s okay to call me Bren, sweetheart,” he raises an eyebrow playfully at you “but I hope you have a great shift too, star.”

Your heart skips a beat from him calling you ‘sweetheart’.

“Thank you Bren. See you when I see you” 

Then you hurry away to find Robby for your next line of cases.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

You’re currently catching up on charts when you glance over to a room close to you. There’s a patient there, just resting. But something is telling you to go check on them. You’re not sure why but you trust your gut and make your way over.

You pull his chart from the end of the bed 

Samuel Kingston, age 57

You close the chart and go to his side.

“Mr. Kingston, I’m a nurse and I just wanted to check and make sure you’re doing alright tonight.”

Mr. Kingston can barely open his eyes. He can barely respond and you notice his shallow but slightly rapid breathing.

“Mr. Kingston? Are you feeling okay?”

You quickly examine his eyes. Unfocused.

You can see sweat start to form on his hairline.

Quickly you take his blood pressure manually.

Fuck. It’s low. Way too low.

You reach for his chart and check his medication doses since being admitted.

The chart states he is on strict blood pressure medication for hypotension.

Then you see the medication doses.

He was supposed to have a dose earlier this morning and the space is blank.

No time administered or an initial to indicate he was checked on.

The resident on his case was Dr. Menton, a newer resident.

You quickly make it to a supply cart and find a bottle of Midodrine. As you start administering it, a voice enters the room.

“Hey Mr. Kingston, It’s Dr. Ment– HEY!”

As you finish the medication dose, a hand grabs your arm and pulls you back and grabs the syringe from you.

“What do you think you’re fucking doing?”

You look at him bewildered.

“What am I doing?” you start “Where the fuck have you been? Mr. Kingston wasn’t given his morning dose of meds for his hypotension. You’re lucky I was even over here. He could have d–”

“What the hell is going on here?” Robby’s voice cuts through the chaos.

You both turn towards the chief attending as he rushes in with another resident on his heels.

“I came in and I–” you’re quickly cut off by Dr. Menton

“I came in, Dr. Robby and found Mr. Kingston suffering symptoms of his hypotension. Whoever was supposed to administer his medication this morning didn’t . Luckily I was just outside to notice him suffering the consequences of that missed dose.”

Menton gestures towards you “your nurse here, gave me attitude and tried telling me how to do my job.”

Your eyes widen in absolute shock.

“What are y-”

“ENOUGH!” Robby shouts as he shakes his head.

“Thank you Dr. Menton for stepping in and helping Mr. Kingston. Star, go find something to do and please show more respect for your resident.”

Dr. Menton glances at you with a smirk and follows Robby out of the room after Mr. Kingston is stabilized.

You stay stuck to your spot and stare at nothing.

Tears start to fill your eyes as your breathing becomes uneven.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Brendon is on his way back to the orthopedic floor, hoping to pass you on his way.

Just as he’s about to turn the corner he hears sniffling.

He stops momentarily to listen closely.

There’s more sniffing followed by muffled crying.

Brendon walks towards the noise and pulls back the curtain to the room it’s coming from.

Who he sees standing there makes his blood run ice cold.

There you are, his star, face wet from tears, eyes red and lips trembling as you silently cry.

“Star…” he can barely get the word out.

You look up and see Brendon.

His face softens at your distressed state as his anger simmers inside.

Whoever did this to you would suffer greatly.

“C’mere sweetheart,” he walks to you and pulls you into his arms.

The gentle gesture makes you cry even harder.

“Shhh star, I’m right here.” 

His low and soft tone soothes you and makes you feel safe. 

After a few minutes he slowly pulls himself back and lifts your chin to meet his eyes.

“You know you’re not leaving this room without telling me who did this and what happened.”

You huff lightly “I know, Bren” you say in a whisper.

You then spend the next twenty minutes explaining to Brendon what happened with Dr. Menton

As you do, he can’t help but clench his fists and hope he gets the chance to meet Dr. Menton and give him a tip or two about how to not upset his crush favorite nurse.

He wipes a tear from your face as you finish.

“I just wish I had said something and not let him think he could do that shit.”

You say in frustration.

“I know I'm not intimidating but like I could learn to be tough, I think.”

Brendon smiles at you pacing while talking to yourself. You’re definitely not intimidating by a mile. That’s fine with him because he’d prefer to defend your honor and you just stand back and look cute.

But he understands your frustration.

“Okay star, listen,” he grabs your shoulders and turns you towards him.

“You’re gonna find this jackass. When you do, you look him in the eyes and you tell him that shit won’t fly anymore. You might feel scared and that’s okay because you’re standing up for yourself and getting the respect you deserve. I don’t think Dr. jackass will try that shit ever again.”

You tilt your head a little and look up at him with your big sad eyes.

“You think so?”

He smiles wide, “I know so, baby.”

Standing on your tiptoes you kiss Brendon’s cheek “Thank you Bren. You’re the best.”

The touch of your lips on him has his whole body go still but feel on fire.

Yeah, he’s definitely head over heels for you.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

It’s getting close to the end of your shift when you pass a room and you see Dr. Menton looking at some paperwork.

You take a deep breath and walk in.

“Dr. Menton…”

He looks up and immediately rolls his eyes.

“Well if it isn’t miss ‘can’t mind her own business’. What do you want?”.

Your eyebrows furrow at his tone.

“Listen here Menton,” you get in his face “I did my damn job today. Actually no, I did your damn job. You’re lucky Mr. Kingston didn’t die from your negligence. So, as of today, that shit won’t happen again. I won’t tolerate your shit.”

Dr. Menton chuckles in amusement, about to not take you seriously at first but he sees something in his peripheral. Glancing over your shoulder he sees something truly intimidating.

Brendon Park. 

Also known as the shark and for good reason.

Getting on his bad side is waiting for a bomb to go off so most people steer clear.

Brendon stands around a corner outside of the room in the distance, arms crossed with a scowl. When he makes eye contact with Brendon, he gives a stare that screams “listen to her or I’ll make you”

Menton’s eyes widen as he looks back to you.

You poke a finger into his chest “So here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re going to find Robby and tell him what really happened. You’re going to give me the credit I deserved. And lastly, you’re not going to pull this shit ever again. Not with me and definitely not with anyone else. Are we clear?”

He briefly looks back to where Brendon is. Scowl still in place he starts cracking a few knuckles for emphasis.

Menton nods his head quickly as he looks back to you

“Y-yeah I got it. I’ll go find Robby now and tell him. S-sorry.” He says quickly before leaving the room in a hurry.

Park smirks from his hiding spot at the resident scrambling to hopefully make corrections.

He walks from around the corner and acts as if he didn’t witness a thing.

You smile at how Menton seemed to take you seriously. As you leave the room you see Brendon walking from the hallway.

“Bren!” you call his name

He smiles and makes his way towards you.

“Bren! I did it! I told him to tell Robby the truth and not do that shit again. And I think he got the memo. I can’t believe I did that and he seemed like he genuinely heard me.”

Brendon beams at you with pride “I told you, star. I’m proud of you.”

You smile wide, not knowing you had more help than you were aware of but he wouldn’t ruin your glow.

As far as you knew, you had a ‘scary’ streak now.

A scary streak that was madly in love with you

You’d know soon enough.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You watch your reflection closely in the mirror as you apply one last coat of mascara.

Tonight there was a reunion event for Brendon’s graduating class from medical school. 

You had seen the invitation in the mail and insisted he go and see some familiar faces. And also throw around some bragging rights as the one of the east coast’s top orthopedic surgeons.

After some top tier convincing, he finally agreed but only if you went with him. Now it was you who had to be convinced.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘱 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 

"𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘯 𝘯𝘰."

"𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘤'𝘮𝘰𝘯," 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 "𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘥𝘰."

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 "𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘯..."

"𝘚𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦?" 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘭𝘺

"𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘯, 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘸𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘸. 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘗𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘴𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘨𝘩'𝘴 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘨𝘢𝘭𝘢'𝘴 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘬𝘦𝘺."

𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴.

"𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘮 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦. 𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘪𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘨𝘶𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦."

𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘢𝘻𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯.

𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 "𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺, 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘦. 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘰."

𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘯 𝘱𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺.

"𝘞𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥𝘰" 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Brendon watches you get ready from the doorway of the bathroom. If he could stare at you all day long he would.

When he met you, you were the fresh faced nurse starting out in the pitt.

It only took him overhearing you talk about your interest in orthopedics once for him to fight day shift tooth and nail for you.

With a promise to Robby that he would watch out for you, you were moved to orthopedics.

You were brilliant and young, eight years younger than him and completely out of his league.

You still were out of his league now.

Yet as soon as he asked you out for the first time back then, you immediately said yes.

He often worried with the age gap people would have things to say. That those words would drive you to be with someone closer to your age.

Even though you always reassured him that would never be the case, you both agreed to keep things under wraps at work and discreetly out in public.

You never minded, only wanting to ease his mind. You’d do anything for him

Brendon was glad to have you on his arm tonight but he still worried just a tad that you’d catch the eye of someone who may try to steal you away.

—-

You and Brendon walk into the event room, your hand holding onto his bicep.

“Wow..” you say looking around at the beauty and decor of the room “it’s gorgeous in here.”

Brendon’s gaze lingers on you as you admire the space “Yeah, sure is.”

You turn your head and catch him staring, rolling your eyes with a smile.

He chuckles at your reaction as you both make your way to the bar.

“Hey! Look who it is! If it isn’t Park!”

The voice makes you both turn your heads.

To the right of the bar in a seating area towards the back are a few guys, all smiles as they wave in your direction.

Brendon waves back as he leans close to you.

“Some guys I studied and hung out with most of the time in med school.” he whispers

He gently leads you towards them.

A taller guy greets you guys first when you get closer.

“Well well well if it isn’t Pennsylvania’s most sought after ortho surgeon” he smiles and then his gaze turns to you.

“Well hello there, and you are?”

You smile politely and introduce yourself.

“You a doctor too, sweet stuff?” 

Brendon’s hackles go up at the flirtatious tone and pet name.

“No, I’m a nurse for orthopedics at ptmc with Brendon.” you share

The guy briefly glances at you and Brendon and notices your intertwined hands.

A giant smirk works its way on his face.

“Ohhh shit! Guys!” he grabs the attention of the other men sitting close “Our buddy here brought his O.R. nurse and girlfriend!”

Your face warms in slight embarrassment from the attention as all the men start whistling and yelling at the introduction.

Brendon’s hand moves from yours to your waist, pulling you close.

A waiter walks by and offers you both drinks.

Thank god.

You both needed one.

Brendon grabs a whiskey and you grab a wine glass.

The friend closest to you guys beckons you over to sit.

Casual conversation flows and Brendon adds in here and there, glad that the attention is off of you.

Or so he thought.

Brendon glances around the group subtly and notices a few of the guys eyeing you and looking you up and down, not so subtly.

His jaw clenches at how they unashamedly stare and gawk at you.

“Hey baby,” he whispers to you “could you grab me another drink? Maybe a snack we can split?”

You smile at him and kiss his cheek quickly.

“Yeah of course. Be right back, baby.”

He watches you as you walk off and turns back to the guys and sees they’re also watching you walk away.

“Yo Park, your girl is fine as fuck” one guy says with his eyes still on you in the distance.

Brendon’s composure is slowly crumbling.

“Yeah,” another guy chimes in “if I had her in my O.R.? Shit, not a damn thing would be getting done except for her.”

The man breaks into a fit of laughter as the other guys high five him and agree.

Brendon frowns at the jokes being made, gripping his thigh hard to keep from decking the men.

He doesn’t like the idea of anyone else having you. 

You're his.

—--

On the other side of the room you're grabbing new drinks.

It’s like you can feel his brooding attitude from across the room.

You turn to look for him and you see the irritation clear across his face as he swirls the whiskey around in his cup.

After the bartender hands you the drinks you make your way back to him.

His buddies quickly glance at you as you walk past, not being discreet enough with their comments about you.

“Fuck, the things I’d do if I had her.”

“She could have anyone and she chooses old man over here.”

“I bet he had to pay her to be here. No way she’s actually dating him.”

The smiling assholes aren’t subtle when they say it and it’s clear that Brendon hears it too when his frown gets even worse.

Luckily you can squash the talk and reassure Brendon all at once.

Brendon is sitting on a leather couch. So you place your left leg between his and then place your right knee on the cushion on the outside of his leg.

The placement has you practically straddling his thigh with your dress riding up dangerously high.

Brendon must notice because his hands grab your ass and hold you closer to him, shielding what’s only his to see.

“Hey baby” you greet him sweetly.

He gives you a “hey”, frown still in place.

You lean in closer so your mouth is right by his ear.

“I know what they’re saying, Bren. You also know that none of it is true. As far as I’m concerned,” you whisper “they’re not the ones who get me in their O.R. every day. You do.”

Your hand makes its way to the back of his head where you lightly scratch through his hair.

A weakness of his.

“They’re also not the ones who are gonna get to fuck me at the end of the night. You are. So, how about you turn that frown upside down and we go home to our own party?”

You hear his breath hitch at your words and a slight groan escapes him.

“Y-Yeah. Yeah let’s fucking do that” he grits out “But can we wait a few minutes?”

Your eyebrows furrow at the question.

“I mean yeah but wh-” 

Your words are cut off as he pulls you flush against him. 

More so against his hard cock.

“Aaah okay baby” you laugh a little.

“Thanks sweetheart.” he groans as he leans his head back against the couch.

—-

Unbeknownst to you both, your audience had watched the interaction with rapt attention.

Eventually they all had silently slipped away to collect themselves and let their jealousy spill over elsewhere.

You made it clear you were Brendon’s and they had finally gotten the message.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Jack leans on the nurses station counter looking at the same chart over and over again. He didn’t even read it halfway through the first time before looking up and scanning the E.R.

He doesn’t see you yet. That’s okay, you should be there soon.

He shows up 30 minutes early to every night shift because you show up 20 minutes early.

He doesn’t want to miss a moment of you before the shift starts.

—-

One could assume Jack liked you. They would be partially right.

It’s safe to say he was infatuated with you.

Ever since he met you on your first day over a year ago, he was smitten with your beauty and infectious smile.

You were ethereal.

And he wanted to know more.

Unfortunately, only one thing stood in his way.

Your boyfriend.

He had heard Santos and Javadi talking about it at the end of your first month. Word was that he wasn’t the greatest guy but your heart was big and you were trying to make it work.

Jack felt a bit defeated at the news but he wasn’t deterred.

He could be patient.

You would be worth every waiting minute.

—-

Glancing at his watch he sees there’s 10 minutes until handoff and you’re still not here.

Are you okay?

Did you oversleep?

Did your car break down?

Did you call in si–

His spiraling thoughts are interrupted by the squeaking of wet sneakers. Looking up he sees you walking fast, a rain jacket pulled tight around you.

“Almost didn’t make it there earlybird” he jokes

You quickly look over at him and give a small half smile “The day I'm late is the day you should worry.”

Then he sees it. Your eyes are red rimmed and slightly swollen, like you had just finished crying your eyes out. Your face screams ‘sad and tired’.

He immediately straightens at his observation.

“You okay, sweetheart?”

You nod a bit too quickly and force a bigger smile on your face.

“All good Abbot, promise.”

The next moment you're walking to the lockers to put your stuff up for the night.

Jack watches you go, not convinced in the slightest.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Throughout the night Jack searches for you to make sure you’re okay.

Every time he finds you, you always have a smile on your face or you’re laughing with someone. But he can see something’s off.

Later in the early hours, the Pitt is at a lull so he takes the time to reset all the rooms before the next rush.

He’s not paying attention when he pushes the curtains aside to one room and he sees you standing there. You hands partially cover your face but he can see that you’re crying.

“Shit—sorry Jack. Just needed a minute” you sniffle as you face away from him, quickly wiping your face.

You called him Jack.

Not Abbot.

Now he knew something was really wrong.

You loved to tease him by using his last name.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

You shake your head silently, too choked up with tears to respond.

Jack approaches you and turns you slowly by the shoulder.

“C’mere,” he says as he pulls you into his chest.

That’s when you can’t hold back the tears.

“Shhh shhh. You’re okay sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

He soothes you as best he can for about ten minutes before you slightly pull back.

“Want to talk about it?”

You look at him for a minute before nodding and going to sit on the bed behind you. Jack joins you and sits as close to you as he can.

“I uh, me and my now ex broke up a few weeks ago.”

Jack tries to keep a poker face but inside his heart is racing at the revelation.

“I had not been feeling too good about him for a while and unfortunately my gut knew because he had been cheating on me for a while. While that hurt it didn’t kill me. I think I was slowly losing feelings and that had solidified that we weren’t right for each other.”

Jack sees a stray tear fall and quickly wipes it away. Your face warms at the gesture.

“Then what happened today?” he asks quietly.

You take a deep breath.

“I went to grab my stuff from his place. I guess he was mad about me ending things and he-“ you take a shaky breath and try to hold tears back.

“He said he cheated because I was a bore. I wasn’t pretty enough, the sex was awful, I was a shitty girlfriend. Then he said I’d never b-be good enough for anyone. That no one would l-love me.”

Jack's heart breaks as he watches your lip tremble and sees the sadness in your eyes.

He’s also angry that anyone would have the audacity to say those things to you.

You were good enough.

Too good.

For anyone.

For him.

Your ex was wrong about that for sure. And he was wrong about someone never loving you.

Because he loved you.

He was in love with you.

Had been since he met you.

Jack grabs your hands in his.

“I hope you don’t believe a word of that honey. You’re amazing. You’re too good for him and he never deserved you. And I know there’s someone out there who loves everything about you. Who won’t ask you to change a thing and knows you’re more than good enough.”

You sniffle and stare at your joined hands.

“Someone that good doesn’t sound real.”

The silence causes you to look up at Jack and you find he’s already looking at you.

“Jack?”

He leans in a bit.

“Maybe this is the absolute wrong time and maybe you don’t feel the same way.”

Your heart races at his words.

“You can tell me to fuck off but I’d regret it forever if I didn’t tell you how I feel.”

Your eyes widen slightly.

There’s no fucking way.

You had always had a crush on Jack Abbot. His cute grey curls, his handsomeness and charismatic personality. He was the whole package.

He was out of your league.

So, you gave the guy at the bar, your ex, a chance in hopes you’d get over Jack.

Now? Now you were glad things hadn’t worked out. Maybe this was your chance if he truly felt the same.

He squeezes your hand a bit.

“Sweetheart, will you go out with me? Can I take you out for dinner this weekend?”

Your heart stops.

Yes god please!

“I-I, yes. Yes, I’d love that, Abbot.”

Jack can’t help but smile at your flustered response and that you were back to calling him Abbot.

“I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

You give him a genuine smile.

“I have no doubt.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You’re brushing your teeth when you feel a sharp pain.

“Fuck!”

You grab your jaw and groan.

“Sweetheart? Everything okay?” Brendon’s voice questions as he comes into your shared bathroom.

“Yeah,” you spit the rest of the toothpaste out “my teeth are killing me. Pretty sure it’s my wisdom teeth coming in.”

He gently cups your face with his hands.

“Wanna see a dentist abou—“

“No!” you jerk your face back suddenly

“No dentist.”

Brendon looks at you startled and confused with your reaction.

“Why not? You’re in pain.”

You close your eyes tight as you shake your head.

“I-I can’t. I don’t want to. The dentist—I just…can’t”

It suddenly hits him.

“Are you scared of the dentist, baby?”

“Please don’t make fun of me.” you say nervously as you stare at the ceiling.

“Hey, hey, no. I’d never make fun of you. It’s a real fear. But I hate seeing you in pain.”

“And I appreciate your concern Bren but no dentist. I’ll just take some Tylenol or something.”

He slightly frowns at the idea. It may temporarily help but eventually it won’t do anything and you’ll be in a lot of pain.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Over the next few weeks the pain gets progressively worse but your fear and stubborn nature keeps you from getting help.

Brendon can only watch from the sidelines and hates every time he sees you grimace.

Unfortunately today would be your breaking point and you would get there the hard way.

——

Tonight Brendon had made a delicious meal of steak and baked potatoes.

Your favorite.

Chewing had been a challenge over the weeks with the tooth pain but today seemed like you were turning a corner. You felt a little sore but overall better than the last few days.

Brendon sets your plate in front of you and you both dig in.

You cut your steak and take your first bite. The chewing reawakens the sore feeling but you try to focus on how delicious it is instead.

It’s the second bite that gets you.

You start to chew and one bite causes a horrific pain.

You grimace as you feel the tears build up.

Your heart races as a nauseous feeling overwhelms you.

Brendon happens to look up and notice something’s off.

“You okay baby? Is the food okay? Anything hurt?”

His concern warms your heart but you don’t want to fall apart in front of him.

You force a smile to cover up the grimace from the bite.

“Yeah, all good Bren. I’m just gonna use the bathroom real quick” you say.

Quickly you make your way to the hallway bathroom and lock the door.

As soon as the lock clicks you brace yourself against the counter, knuckles gripping the edge.

The pain is excruciating as you take deep breaths to steady yourself.

A hot tear rolls down your cheek as you hang your head.

Fuck this.

Then a knock echoes from the door.

“Baby?”

You hear the knob turn back and forth, stopped by the lock.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?” you can hear the underlying concern in Brendon’s tone.

You contemplate for a minute before going to unlock the door.

Before you can move your hand from the knob the door is already opening and Brendon slides into the bathroom with you.

“Hey, what’s going on? You’ve been gone for a bit.”

You hadn’t realized that.

“My mouth hurts so bad Bren. It fucking hurts.” you say in a pained voice.

He holds you close to his chest.

“I hate to see you in pain, baby. Do you want an ice pack? Tylenol?”

Your heart races.

You know what you need.

“Can…can you help me make an appointment? To get them taken out?”

Brendon’s eyebrows raise at your question but relief flows through him that you’ve changed your mind.

It’s killed him the last few weeks to see you in such immense pain, while still understanding your fear of the dentist.

His hand goes to the back of your head, holding you to him.

“Of course, sweetheart. I’ll do it first thing tomorrow morning.”

You kiss his chest as tears soak into his shirt.

“You’re so brave, baby. I’m so proud of you. And I’ll be with you through every step.”

“Thank you” you whisper.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

It’s a week later and you’re walking into the center for oral surgery.

Your anxiety was getting the best of you and Brendon was doing everything possible to ease your nerves. He had held you close all night last night and held you this morning.

He’s barely let go of your hand all morning, secretly nervous for you.

Once you’re in the room they go over the procedure plan one more time and then you’re saying your goodbye to Brendon.

He crouches down by the chair to be level with you.

“You’re gonna do great sweetheart. I’m so proud of you for being here. It’ll be over before you know it and then we’ll be on the way home.”

You nod as your heart races a tad.

“A-And you’ll be here when I’m done?” you say nervously.

“Of course baby,” he takes your hand and kisses your knuckles “I’ll be in the waiting room the whole time.”

It’s like the simple words finally hit you and the nervousness slowly starts to fade.

“Okay. Love you Bren.”

“Love you more baby.” he smiles.

He gives you a quick kiss and then he's leaving the room.

The doctor then administers the numbing medicine and waits for it to set in.

“Alright,” he says while putting gloves on “the nurse is going to give you some laughing gas. Count back from ten and then you’ll be out. Once you’re done we’ll get you into the recovery room and then your boyfriend can come get you. Sounds good?”

You can’t feel your mouth so you nod in understanding.

The nurse then holds the laughing gas mask over your face and reminds you to count back from ten.

Ten, nine, ei–

Then everything goes dark.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

Brendon had waited a little over an hour before they called him back to see you in recovery.

You were laying in a bed and clearly out of it. Your eyes barely open.

“Hey pretty girl, how ya feelin?” he says while approaching you.

He watches as your eyes widen at the sound of his voice.

“Brenannn” you slur out with a mouth full of gauze.

He tries to hold back his laugh at your loopy state.

Your head lolls to the side, looking at the nurse.

“Thaath” you attempt to point at Brendon “ith my boyfrenth. He’th tho hanthuuum”

The nurse nods in amusement “He sure is sweetie. You’re a very lucky girl.”

Your head falls back and a wide smile appears on your face.

“Uh huhhh. Jus don’th tell my boyfenth. Bren can’th knoooww.”

Brendon lifts an eyebrow “I can’t know?”

“Nooo thilly, you’re my thecret.”

He can’t help but laugh at your words.

“Okay baby, we won't tell him.”

“Thannng youuu.” you huff out dramatically.

The nurse then helps you into a wheelchair and helps roll you out to the car.

“You’re thooo sweeeth.” you say to the nurse after she gets you settled with Brendon’s help.

“Thank you sweet pea. Feel better soon!”

She shuts the door and Brendon makes his way back to the driver’s seat.

“Okay sweetheart, let’s get you home.”

—--

Once you’re home, Brendon helps you to the couch where he already has a pillow and blanket waiting for you. As well as water and gatorade sitting on the coffee table.

Within five minutes of getting you comfortable, you’re out like a light.

—--

About 3 hours later you start to wake up.

What happened t–

“Owwww” you groan in pain.

You go to touch your face when a voice stops you.

“Hey sweetheart, don’t touch.”

Brendon comes over to you with a pill bottle and water.

“Take this baby. It should kick in soon. I’ll change your gauze out too.”

Brendon was truly the best and made sure you didn’t lift a finger, only relaxing.

He eventually comes back to the living room with fresh gauze for later to give your mouth a break. Sitting on the couch he pulls you closer to him.

You cuddle into him and relax in his hold.

He kisses the top of your head “You did so good today sweetheart. I know it was scary but you were so brave and did the damn thing.”

You look up at him the best you can.

“I couldn’t have done it without you Bren,” you hug him tight

“You make me brave.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・