#ptg fluff

The first time you laid eyes on him, you were at a disco-themed club. He had a silver suit on and a large collared shirt. His strawberry-cream hair stood out to you in the midst of the crowd. You couldn’t see anyone else as he glided around the LED squares. He caught you staring and winked. And for the first time in a long time, you were flabbergasted.

Maybe it was the amount of liquid confidence you drank. But you danced up to him and asked if he'd like to dance with you. He smiled, and soon you were in each other’s arms and spinning around to the songs together. It took another song before you asked if you could kiss him, and he nodded. When you pulled away, you both were blushing red, but he initiated the second kiss as you two slowly rocked back and forth. 

When the night ended, and you parted ways, you realized you never caught his name, too caught up in the feeling of having his lips on yours. You sighed as you got into bed, and your roommate, who was still up, asked, “So, how was the disco?” You shook your head, “It was magical. Yet, I never learned his name.” He laughs, “Damn, you should have.” He looks at the time, “Shit, how long did you make out with him?” You look at the time and see it’s three in the morning, “I thought you were going to be home at one!” You laugh, “Did you base your sleep schedule on when I returned?” He huffs, “Yes, usually you have two drinks and come home.” You shake your head, “Yeah, but that was before I saw him.” He sighs, “Did you at least get his number?” You pout, “No.” He shakes his head at you, “And you say I’m hopeless.” You sigh, “You have me there.” 

You throw yourself onto your bed, and he follows suit, throwing himself on his own,  “Did you end up going on a date today?” He nods, “Yeah, it was successful.” You pout, “Fucker.” He laughs, “But I didn’t make any bases.” You do a little fist bump in the air, “I win!” He rolls his eyes, “At least I know her name.” You shrug, get under the covers, and go, “Whatever, good night, Joo.” “Good night, (Y/n).” 

---

The second time you met him, you still didn’t know he was your best friend’s older brother. You watch as his band performs at your college’s packed bar. His strawberry-cream hair still drawing you to him. But hearing his singing voice and watching as his fingers glide across the fretboard of his guitar had you enraptured. You just had to know more.

When his band leaves the stage, you return to drinking and conversing with the people around you. You're asking for a second drink. When someone asks sweetly, “Is this seat taken?” You turn your head to see him again and shake your head no, and he sits beside you. You still can't believe he came up to you, but come up with, “I didn’t know you could sing?” He grins, “It’s my major!” You laugh, and he finally tells you his name, “I forgot to introduce myself the last time we were with each other, but I’m Hoetaek, but almost everyone calls me Hui.” You grin and introduce yourself, and he says, “That’s a beautiful name.” You blush and thank him. 

You talked more than you had kissed, but you still couldn’t get enough of him. He left you starstruck. You wanted to know everything and more about him, like what his favorite songs were and his favorite kind of weather. You went back home, and your best friend was already fast asleep, having learned his lesson from last time. His name should have rang a bell, but you still couldn’t place where you’d heard his name before as you fell asleep.

You didn’t register it until you were brushing your teeth in the morning. You gasped as you brushed your teeth, “Hoetaek?” You rushed to your roommate’s photo frames, toothbrush still in your mouth. And there they stood at the beach together. Your best friend was disgruntled in the photo while Hui was smiling wildly. You clutch your shirt, not believing the coincidence. You drag your feet back and finish brushing your teeth. “No fucking way.” You had always heard about his older brother, the absolute dork, and here you were, making out with the said dork. For a dork, he certainly knew how to kiss. You went to class and shook off the thought. He probably didn’t even know you were best friends with his little brother. Just like how you didn’t realize he was your best friend's older brother. 

---

The next time you saw him, you were sitting with Joo on a blanket, studying on the campus grounds, when he came up. “Hey, did you get mom’s text?” Joo blinked at him before quickly grabbing his phone and looking, “Oh, she wants us this home this weekend?” He nods, “Yeah.” Joo asks, “Are you going to go?” Hui shrugs, “I have band practice.” You tune them out, fantasizing about what it would be like to kiss him again. You shook your head at those thoughts because he's supposed to be Joo's dorky older brother. But you couldn't help it. 

Joo interrupts your thoughts, “Oh, (Y/n).” You look at him, and he says, “I never introduced you to Hoetaek. Hui this (Y/n), and (Y/n), this is Hui.” His cheeks were red as he smiled at you and shook your hand, “It’s nice to meet you again.” You blushed as you shook his, “Yeah. I didn’t realize you were Joo’s older brother.” He laughs, “I didn’t realize you were his best friend.” Joo goes, “Ahem,” and you both immediately detach. Joo crosses his arms, “How do you two know each other?” You scramble to find an answer, and Hui says, “We met at the disco club two weeks ago.” Joo nods, “You could have told me you two knew each other.” You shake your head, “We didn’t realize who the other was.” He nods, and Hui gets up from the blanket, “I have to walk to class now, but I’ll pick you up on Friday night.” Joo nods, and when he is far enough away. Joo goes, “Tell me everything.” 

You blushed, “I um, I didn’t realize he was your dorky older brother. Firstly, he was an amazing dancer. And I… may have ended up exchanging a few kisses with him.” He groans, “Ew… He was the whole reason your night was magical?” You nod, and he squints, “Nothing further?” You shake your head, “Unless you consider that we met at his gig a week ago, too…” His jaw drops, “Holy fuck. You two left out a major detail…” You blush and hide your head in your hands, “I know.” He shakes his head, “I’ve always thought of you as my sibling, but you didn’t have to make it official.” You whine, “I know.” And he goes, “Again, you know he’s not cool unless he's in his element.” You pull your hands away, “You’ve said that, but I’ve met him in his element, and god he’s…” He deadpans, “I do not need to know.” You smirk and tease, “Are you sure? I thought you loved hearing the details?” He rolls his eyes, “Yes, I’m sure. I do not need to know whether or not he’s a good kisser.” You smirk, “He is.” He sighs, shaking his head, “Anyways… Do you like him?” You look down at your hands, “I think so.” He smiles, “Well, when are you gonna make a move?” You blush, “Joo...” And he goes, “Well, now that I have the opportunity for you to become my sibling officially. I want this process to speed up a little faster.” You roll your eyes and go back to studying. 

As you’re finishing your homework, you hear Joo say, “Hey, Mom!” You hear her sweet voice over the phone, “Oh, honey, I was wondering when you would get my text!” You look at him to see the smirk gracing his lips, “I was wondering, (Y/n) has nowhere to go this weekend… Can they come too?” You glare at him. And you hear her go, “Oh, of course, we love having (Y/n) over!” He tells her sweetly, “Thanks, mom!” And she asks, “Anything else, honey?” “No, we'll see you this weekend. Love you.” “Love you more!” When he hangs up, “You little-!” You tackle him immediately, and he cackles as you tickle him, “You brat!” He laughs even harder, “You’ll thank me later.” You roll off of him and finish your homework, refusing to talk to him. “I thought you loved my parents?” He asks with a pout, “I love them. You, however? Not so much.” He shakes his head, “If you say so.” You sigh, and you both walk back to your dorm room together. 

---

You don’t see him again until Joo opens the door and lets you in behind him. You kick off your shoes and turn to look towards the living room to see him sitting there playing guitar. If you didn't have no way back to the college, you would have taken your belongings and ran for the hills. Why is he already here? You thought you'd at least have an hour before you had to face the music. Your brain is unraveling fast, and you do everything to lie low. 

But with Joo talking to you in the hall, it was enough to be spotted by him. You gulp as he stops strumming and waves to you, and you wave back. Joo turns at that, and he smiles, “Hui! You’re home!” He grins at his brother as he gets up and hugs him. Joo whines about his hug but accepts it anyway, “I thought you were going to be late because of your band practice?” Hui shakes his head, “No, I told them I was heading home for the weekend.” Joo hums and tries to wiggle out of the hug, and Hui whines, “I thought you were happy to see me!” And Joo goes, “I was!” And he mutters, “Until you kept hugging me.” Hui laughs before he lets him go, and you both awkwardly smile at each other before he goes back to his guitar. 

You both give a quick hello to his parents before dragging your bags up the stairs to Joo’s room. As you walk to his door, you can’t get the sight of Hui out of your head. The memories of kissing him play in the back of your mind, ruining your resolve of a peaceful weekend. Joo and you take time to set up your air mattress, and he giggles, “You sure you want to sleep in my room?” You gasp, “It is my best friend privilege!” He smirks, “Yeah, but don’t you wish to sleep next to your crush?” You squint, “Oh, so that's how it is.” He smirks, “I’m teasing you forever for falling for my brother.” You groan, “I should have never told you!” He smirks, “But you couldn’t keep a secret like that from your best friend and roommate, could you?” You groan again, “I’d try.” He continues smirking, “I’d find out anyway.” You sigh, “I’m starting to see how you’re the little brother.” He pouts, “Hey, that was mean.” You roll your eyes, and with the mattress finally filled, you cap it as he unplugs the blower, and you both head downstairs. 

When you reach the kitchen, their dad looks away from the pot he's stirring, “Oh, (Y/n)! Have you ever met our eldest, Hui?” Hui, who is currently wearing an apron and cracking eggs, causing your heart to burst into a million pieces. You smile, scrubbing the heart-melting moment from your mind, “Yeah, we’ve met.” Hui turns around and smiles at you. His dad grins, “How did you two meet? I know how you met Joo. You both are roommates.” You turn red as his dad flips the vegetables in the pan, and Joo nudges you to say something. And you go, “We met at a disco night.” His dad gasps, “You know disco?” You laugh as you nod, “Yeah, I love it.” He sighs in relief, “Ahh good, you can move in forever if you’d like.” You cackle, and Joo goes, “Where’s Ma?” And Hui says, “Back in the garden.” Joo grins, “Okay, later!” 

He exits the kitchen, and you’re still standing in front of the island. Hui asks, “You’re not joining him?” You shake your head, “I know better than to leave when food is about to be served.” Hui laughs, and his dad asks, “Can you get the plates out?” You nod, walk around the island, open the first cabinet, and pull out five plates. You set them out, head to the silverware drawer, and grab utensils for everyone. They finish what they’re making as you get a seat for yourself as you do. Their dad comes over, “I’m sorry I would have gotten that out sooner! I forgot you were coming.” You shrug, “It’s okay, Mr. Lee. It’s just a chair.” He pouts, “But you’re our guest.” You shake your head, “It’s okay.” And he sighs, “Okay.” 

Hui comes over, and you ask, “When did you get here?” He looks at the clock, “About an hour and a half before you two.” You nod, and he places his dish in the middle while his dad calls for the other two to come in for dinner. Your heart is hammering out of your chest, but you try to be cool about it. He opens his mouth to say something. And before he can get a syllable out, the rest of his family returns. Joo sits beside you, and Hui sits across from both of you. You speak minimally throughout the dinner, just focused on eating and trying not to think about the man across from you. 

---

While Joo snores peacefully on his bed, all cuddled up, you can’t help but roll to your side again. Even after begging to whatever’s up there, you’ll fall asleep. You can’t. You sigh as you get up, deciding to get a glass of water. You fill up your glass, drink a few sips, and head back towards Joo’s room. You hear music coming from the basement with nothing better to do. You decide to investigate. You shut the door behind you and start walking down the steps. 

And that’s where you see him again. He’s playing guitar along to the radio and humming the tune. He hears your footsteps as you come down the creaky old wood and looks back at you, and you ask, “Do you mind if I join you?” He shakes his head no, and you come in further, and he goes, “I come down here when everyone’s sleeping, so I don’t wake them up.” You nod, and he gestures for you to sit beside him, “Can’t sleep?” You softly tell him no as you sit down next to him. It felt awkward to be alone with him again. Because the last time you were perfect strangers making out in a bar. And now you were in an odd dynamic of him being the older brother to your best friend. Not knowing what to say, you sit there and listen to him play along to the radio.

As the next song starts, he grins, “I haven’t heard this since I was in high school.” He starts playing along effortlessly, and you smile, “It’s Led Zeppelin.” He smiles, “Dazed and Confused.” As the song nears its end, he asks, “Did Joo invite you?” You scrunch your nose, “No, rather, he asked his mom to let me come over in front of me.” He hums, “He’s always been an odd one.” You laugh, “What about you? You never skip band practice.” He smiles, “I finally had a reason too.” You blink at him, and he says, “I heard you were staying here.” You blush, and he asks, “Do you always stay here on breaks?” You nod, “Yeah, ever since I’ve become best friends with Joo.” He nods, “Interesting.” After a moment, you ask, “Do you remember the first time we met?” He smiles, “I couldn’t forget it.” You blush, “Me neither.” He asks softly, “Is that why you can’t sleep?” You hum, “Something along those lines.” 

He stops playing and puts his guitar on its stand. He turns towards you, “Is it because my brother is your best friend?” You tilt your head, “Well, no.” He waits for you to continue, “It’s more so the fact that we’re under the same roof.” He holds his hand out to you, and you carefully take it in yours, and you ask, “Is it weird because I’m your little brother’s best friend?” He shakes his head, “No. But maybe it's a little awkward that we’re in my parent's house, though.” You laugh, “Yeah.” He smiles and squeezes your hand, “It kinda reminds me of being a teenager again.” And the two of you laugh. 

The radio starts playing a slow song by Smokey Robison, “Would you like to dance with me?” You smile, “I’d love to.” He pulls you up, and you both sway to the music, but instead of kissing, you talk. You ask, “Is it true that you’re out of your element outside of music?” He blushes, “Yeah. If you met me in the florist shop I work at, I would have shriveled up and asked Hyunggu to run the cash register.” You laugh as you softly tell him, “I would have still found you dreamy.” His cheeks are red as he asks, “Really?” You smile, “Yeah.” 

He twists you under the recessed lightning, and you two giggle as you spin around. You can’t help but get lost in his eyes and wonder what it would be like to kiss him again. You ask softly, “Would it be bad to say I really want to kiss you right now?” He giggles as he says, “No, I want to kiss you too.” You tangle your fingers in his hair as you place your lips on his, and he reciprocates. You both slowly sway to the song as you kiss. When you both pull away, he leans his forehead on yours, and you play with his pink locks. He looks into your eyes and asks, “Would you want to get breakfast with me tomorrow? Like as a date?” You can’t help but grin as you tell him, “Yes.” He kisses you again, and you both giggle into it. 

When the song ends, you sit back on the couch closer than before. You both stay up the whole night talking. As the clock reaches five in the morning, you yawn. And he smiles, “You should probably head upstairs to bed.” You yawn again and agree, “Yeah.” You get up off the couch before looking at him again, “I can’t wait for our date.” He smiles, “I can’t wait either.” You hear him yawn as you round the couch to the stairs, “Good night, Hui.” He smiles, “Good night, (Y/n).” You head upstairs, open the door, walk to the kitchen, clean your empty glass, and head to bed. When you finally rest your head on your pillow, you fall asleep. 

You wake up to Joo loudly stretching, “Dude. You’re so loud.” He rolls his eyes before he stares at you, “You weren’t here when I rolled over at one in the morning.” You look at everything but him, “I got a glass of water.” He hums, “Is that why you weren’t back until 5 am?” You sigh, “Nothing can get past you, can it?” He laughs before he asks, “So?” You sigh, “I just wanted to investigate where the music was coming from.” He leans his chin on his hand, “Yeah?” You blush, “And then we danced and talked until then.” He tilts his head, “Did you not confess?” You smile as you move the blanket away, “Something better.” 

He gasps in horror, “Not underneath my roof!!” You shake your head, “No! That’s not what I meant! And this is your parent’s roof!” He cackles, “So, what is it?” You smile, “We kissed a few times throughout the night, and he asked me to go to breakfast with him.” He gasps, “Omg?! We have to get you dressed nicely!” He pulls you up fast, and you both dig through your travel bag and find something nice to wear. “Okay, go to the bathroom! If he comes up before you’re ready. I’ll distract him.” You laugh and high-five him, “Thanks, Joo!” You rush into the bathroom and freshen up, and you hear outside Hui coming up the stairs. 

Joo asks, “So, was it you or (Y/n) that asked first?” Hui blushes as he rubs the back of his neck, “Well, we were dancing in my room, and they asked if it was bad if they wanted to kiss me. And I told them ‘No,’ that I wanted to kiss them too.” And Joo goes, “And?” Hui turns bright red as he says, “They kissed me first.” Joo smirks, “That’s my best friend!” Hui laughs, “Then I asked them to go to breakfast with me.” Joo claps his hand on his shoulder, “You know, for being a musical nerd, I didn’t know you had it in you. But man, I can’t be prouder.” Hui wrinkles his nose, “Ouch. But thanks. So, how did your date last week go?” Joo nods before telling him. 

The two talk for a few more minutes before you return from the bathroom. Joo leaves you two to head downstairs to the kitchen and sits at the table as his parents make coffee. His mom asks, “Are (Y/n) and Hui joining us?” He shakes his head no, “You’ll see.” They both draw their attention to the stairs, waiting for the two of you to appear. 

In the quiet hallway, you tell him softly, “I like your black and white striped sweater.” He grins as he tells you that he likes your outfit. After another beat of silence, Hui asks if you’d like to hold hands on the way cause the diner is just a block away, and you smile as you agree. You walk down the stairs hand in hand, and his parents gasp as Joo grins. They whisper and ask him, “Oh, they’re going on a date?” He nods, “Yeah!” You walk over, and both bid them goodbye, and Hui tells them where you’re going before leaving. 

---

His dad smiles, “So, do you have all the details?” And Joo grins as if shining an apple on his shirt. He blows his hand and wipes it on his shirt, “Of course I do. They’re my brother and best friend couple.” He tells them how you two met at his gig, and his dad says, “We knew that, though.” He smirks, “Did you know the two kissed?” His parents gasped, “No, did they know each other then?” He shakes his head, “They didn’t know until after they met at his gig.” He shares a few more details before his mom asks, “How did they end up going on a date then if neither of them confessed to their feelings?” He smirks as he gets to rat them out, “They were in his room last night, and they danced to classic rock songs. And Hui finally confessed.” His mom grins, “Oh, that’s so sweet.” 

---

You walk hand in hand down the block, swinging your arms, talking about various things. You open the door for you two, and you both walk in and sit down across from each other at a table for two behind the interior wall. You look at Hui, admiring him as you wait for your waiter, his black beret making him look even cuter than before. You smirk, “Loverboy? Is that true?” He blushes as he remembers the branding on his hat, “For you, yeah.” You blush and look down, “Hui…” He grins, his cheeks red as he lifts your chin and winks, “You’re cute when you’re blushing.” You shake your head, “You’re cuter.” He pulls his finger away as the waiter comes over, hands you each a menu, and asks what you'd like to drink. You tell him, and he comes back shortly with the drinks and gives you time to figure out what you want for breakfast. 

He returns and gets your orders before putting them in the kitchen. Hui puts his left hand up on the table, and you smile as you catch onto what he means and place your left hand against his before interlocking your fingers. He grins and moves your hands back and forth happily, and you can’t help but grin and squeeze his hand in yours. He asks you questions about yourself, and you ask them back after answering. You smile as you realize you’re learning more about Hoetaek, the kind and silly, than Hui, the older musical nerd in the family. And you can’t help but feel endeared. 

The waiter brings your food, and your hands part to eat. He makes you laugh as whipped cream coats his lips, and he laughs as you get some on your nose. He licks his lips, and before you wipe the whipped cream from your nose, he grabs his napkin and swipes his napkin over your nose. “All better.” You shake your head and smile, and he’s grinning right back. 

You finish up your breakfast, and before he has a chance to pay, you do. And he pouts, “But I asked you out on this date. I should have paid.” You wink, “There’s always next time.” He gasps before he grins, “You’re right.” He wraps his arm around your waist, and you smile as you do the same, wrapping your arm around his. You grin, and as you walk through town, he softly hums along to the songs playing, and you can’t help but smile and do the same. You both walk-in time at each other’s pace, strolling around before heading back to his house.

When you reach the front door, he asks, “So, when we head back tomorrow. Will you attend my gig as my special guest?” You grin, “I’d love to.” He smiles and kisses your cheek before unlocking the door and letting you in first. Joo sits on the couch, watching TV. He looks at you two, “So how was it?” You blush, “It was nice.” And Hui goes, “I’m glad I got the courage to ask.” Hui asks, “You don’t mind if we’re together for the rest of the day?” Joo shakes his head, “Nah, I hang out with you two too much. I need some alone time, too.” You cackle, “As if you aren't texting people twenty-four-seven in there.” He rolls his eyes, “Yeah, but it’s hard to text people when someone is talking about how handsome my brother is.” You gasp, “Mean!” 

He cackles, “Yeah.” Before he shoos you two away, “Go have fun. You can tell me all about your date later!” You both smile, and he leads you to the basement door, “What do you say to me, you, and my favorite records?” You grin, “Well, considering your taste in music… Hell yeah.” He smiles, and you both walk down the stairs. And you dance and talk until its dinner time. 

“We organized it so it’s more comfortable for us to eat!” His dad says all cheerily, and he has you sit at the end of the table while Hui is on one side and Joo is on the other, and he happily sits across from his wife. You immediately say, “You didn’t have to.” And he shakes his head, “I was going to do this the other day, but I didn’t get time to.” The five of you laugh, and underneath the table, Hui holds your hand, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand, and you can’t help but smile as you eat. 

↳ hongseok: your "date" would be so sweet and domestic because hongseok just gives me homey vibes. like, you'd both go to the grocery store to get ingredients for dinner and a dessert you both like. idk it would be the cutest thing and then you'd head back home and he'd start cooking while you worked on the dessert and you'd definitely catch him staring at you every few minutes with a goofy smile on his face and he'd wiggle his eyebrows playfully. you'd step away for a second to back-hug him and hongseok would smile to himself before he'd turn around to kiss you and he'd pull away to say something really cheesy but it would still put a smile on your face.

↳ yeo one: i think changgu would plan the cutest little picnic in the park for both of you. he'd pack some of your favorite foods and snacks and would even get you flowers or something. it would be the cutest thing and he'd take a flower and put it behind your ear and you'd do the same to him and then you'd go back and forth about who's the prettiest lol then the two of you would lie down and cloud gaze. idk i can see a really adorable dog running over to the two of you and it would really like changgu and it would be such a cute moment that would lead you to discuss the possibility of adopting a dog after the wedding. once the sun would start to settle below the horizon, you'd head home and would probably spend the rest of the day watching a show or movie.

↳ shinwon: both of you would agree on going to a spa and maybe a little shopping. i could definitely see him goofing around with you while in the sauna by making weird faces and telling you funny stories. then, he'd have you rest your head on his shoulder and he'd smile to himself. then, he'd tell you about how he was so nervous to propose to you. after a few minutes he'd realize that you weren't talking only to find you asleep. so, he'd make sure that you would be comfortable and would relax too. i think he'd love to spoil his s/o so he'd really enjoy going to the spa with you and it'd be a nice break from all of the wedding prep. on the way home, you'd both decide on ordering in bc neither of you would want to cook after being at the spa.

↳ yanan: he'd wake up extra early to get your favorite breakfast foods and coffee. when he'd make it back to your apartment he'd be met with you half asleep on the couch and would quickly put everything down to cuddle with you for a few minutes and then you'd eat breakfast together. afterward, the two of you would get ready to go and yanan wouldn't tell you but it would all make sense later. so, the two of you would go to multiple places throughout the city and you were thankful that they wouldn't be too far and at each stop, you and yanan would talk about what happened at each, like, one place was where he took you for your first date and another would be where you both said you loved each other for the first time. looking back on all of the memories would make both of your hearts feel so full.

↳ yuto: i think you'd go to an aquarium or botanical garden and it would be on a day when it wouldn't be so busy and the two of you could goof around and take funny pictures of each other imitating the animals. throughout the date, you'd both feel like little kids on a field trip again. both of you would stop every few minutes to stare at something you'd find interesting and the look on your faces at that moment would be so adorable and you'd have to capture the moments. after that, you would go get something to eat and then walk back to your apartment. on the walk, you'd both reminisce about how you met, your first date, and how he proposed to you.

↳ kino: i feel like hyunggu would go all out but it would still be a pretty laid-back date idk if that makes sense but he'd sign you up for a couples' dancing class where you'd learn how to tango and it would be so romantic and fun, even if you're not much of a dancer. after that, you'd go back home to shower and then he'd take you out to a really nice restaurant for dinner. the two of you would be so impressed with your meals but the highlight of your would be getting ice cream or your favorite dessert from your favorite place but then on your way back home it'd start raining and you'd have to wait it out inside a nearby cafe with steaming cups of tea. the whole situation would be pretty funny to both of you and it'd make for a nice moment to look back on.

Most students thought it was weird. One of the hottest guys in school who took an interest in just one of the least popular ladies, as if they'd landed in fanfiction on Wattpad. Shinwon was careful on his first attempt to talk to you. His English was not at all what it should have been, if only he had paid more attention in class instead of making paper airplanes and then tossing them at his best friend. It could have helped him so much right now.

Sitting on one of the picnic benches outside in the square you scribbled something in your notebook, sometimes they were drawings, and sometimes you wrote a simple story about a bird that just flew over. Suddenly the book was snatched from your hands, your hands actively trying to get the book back from whoever had the guts to pull it out of your hands, but as soon as you saw his face you lowered your hands.

Shinwon flipped through the booklet, the occasional nod, and an approving hum as if it were a project for an exam. In his best English, he commented that he liked it. A smile appeared on your face, the first in a few days and you slowly took the book back from his hands.

''I'm Shinwon, nice to meet you''.

''I'm Y/N, nice to meet you too''.

*

"Where the hell are you with your thoughts?". Shinwon throws his bag down on one of the tables in the room and then takes a seat in the chair in front of you. His English has improved and, to your surprise, your Korean has gone faster than you expected. Those three evenings a week have paid off.

"Zac Efron," you mutter and Shinwon rolls his eyes. "Sure, like you're ever going to meet that guy." Meanwhile, several students enter the room. Over the past few years, as your Korean got better, more and more social contacts came. Likewise at school. Not everyone was talking to you, but no one was ignoring you either. Shinwon turns leans over the back of the chair and prepares to speak as the teacher slams the door shut. A wink is all you need to know that he has plans.

The friendship between you and Shinwon has grown in recent years, from not being able to communicate with each other to learn each other's language by studying to completely trusting each other about two years later.

A lot has happened in those two years. Shinwon is still the popular dude, you the less popular lady. You often got the idea that when you hang out with Shinwon, you are automatically popular, and often it is. Shinwon on the other hand is the most chill guy you can have in your group of friends. He doesn't care if he's seen as popular, because popularity doesn't define you as a person.

"Psst..." You are startled by Shinwon tapping your arm. "Lesson is over." Surprised but still deep in thought, you grab your things and put them in your bag.

"Let me guess, Zac Efron?". Woo, one of Shinwon's best friends, yells from the doorway, laughing.

"Shut up," you mutter as you pass him into the hallway. Shinwon follows but stops when Woo grabs him by the arm.

"You better get that Zac dude out of her head."

Shinwon chuckles as he wraps an arm around his best friend. "Don't worry, I can handle Zac."

*

''How many pizzas did you order?''. With some great surprise, you drop the five pizza boxes on the table. Shinwon gets up from the couch with a grin on his face. "What, I'm hungry." You open the boxes of pizza while Shinwon stands behind you. He leans over your shoulder, one arm close to your lower back as he takes a slice from the box. The way he grabs a simple pizza slice is new. Normally he takes one of the boxes from your hands before you close the door at all.

"Yummy," he mumbles with a mouth full and leans against the table, his eyes on you. A smile appears on your face when you see how much he enjoys food.

''Better for your life that it's nice because I don't like to spend money on your addictions''.

You are both sitting on the couch in the meantime, each with a box on your lap. Shinwon's is almost empty, yours is still half full with delicious pizza slices.

Shinwon casts his gaze on you. The past few years have been nothing but great for him. He got to know you, improved his English, you became best friends and graduated together and then both went on to study different directions. He the entertainment, you in law enforcement.

Many things have changed, but there is one thing that will never change until he has the guts to do something about it himself. He's seen plenty of guys hanging around you over the years, but none came close enough to the ideal son-in-law to come home with.

Despite being the popular guy, his attention has always been on you. From the moment he stepped into the room and set his eyes on you, it was clear to him. The butterflies that happily fluttered around again after a few months of being single, said enough.

*

Shinwon's behavior has changed, that's for sure. The moment he's alone with you, it's like a completely different Shinwon is there. Shy, observant, careful in his actions, and above all, he withheld from touch. Hugs were shorter. And the usual kiss on your forehead when he said goodbye he completely dropped.

It makes you insecure somehow. Why?. No idea. You're his best friend, yet the actions that seemed so normal in years past now seem abnormal.

You drop onto the bed, legs and arms spread like a starfish while closing your eyes. Lots of thoughts running through your head. You turn on your side, facing the wall of polaroid photos from past years. Parties, graduations, dinners, and much more. Shinwon is in almost every photo, even the one from Valentine's Day. A smile appears on your face when you think back to the last school year. Shinwon arrived at school with a balloon, you thinking he had his attention on another lady but no, the balloon came your way. Several students watched the whole view with their mouths open, while you took the balloon uncertainly with a feeling of nervousness. Shinwon assured everyone that it was purely amicable, that best friends can love each other even though there is no intimate relationship. Hearing those words made your heart clench. It hurt to hear, but you didn't know any better. You were best friends and that was it. You don't remember when the butterflies started fooling around in your stomach, you don't even remember the moment you fell in love with him. Maybe it gradually changed from friendship feelings to actual feelings, without even noticing it. What you do know is that you don't want to lose him, even it means that you need to push those feelings away.

A tear slips from the corner of your eye, leaving a wet spot on your pillow. Why does it hurt so much?.

*

Shinwon parks his car in the university parking lot, he sends you a quick message that he's there and waits patiently until he hears the door open.

"Hey, thanks for picking me up." Shinwon winks and starts the engine as soon as you are safe and sound in the seat.

His behavior, according to you, is still the same. He does the things he's always done, but a little differently. Still no forehead kiss, he will hug you but it feels very distant and he has been very distant the last few days?.

"I have a date tonight," Shinwon says, keeping his eyes on the road. His voice is flat. There is no emotion in it at all and thinking about him being with another woman tonight brings the same feeling again. A stab in your heart.

"Oh, great!. What are you going to do?". You ask with fake enthusiasm. Shinwon runs a hand through his hair as you stop at the traffic light.

"Eating out, she can choose the restaurant. I'll pick her up at 7 o'clock." The same voice again, flat as can be. You lean your head against the car window and sigh. Your gaze falls on his clothes, a small chuckle escapes your lips.

"I hope you're going to wear something different than this." Shinwon quickly glances at his clothes. What's wrong with jeans, a shirt, and sneakers?. "She'll just have to accept me as I am," he mumbles, a little irritation audible in his voice.

"Okay okay, clear. It's your date." Even though you try to be there for him, be happy for him and support him in everything he does, it changes your mood.

"I hope she's the one you're looking for, if not?. You know where to find me'', you blurted out as you get out of the car, with a light blush on your cheeks. You never expected that you would dare to say this. A smile appears on Shinwon's face, the first in the entire car ride. A smile you've never seen from him before.

"You'll hear from me," he calls after you and he quickly drives off, on his way to his date.

*

Shinwon knew the moment he saw his date walk through the door that he had made a big mistake. This was not what he wanted. His date was a beautiful woman, nothing could be further from the truth. But not the woman he expected. Woo, his best friend, thought it was about time Shinwon started dating. With the reason to get you out of his mind as long as he was too scared to do anything. One of Woo's colleagues thought Shinwon was a handsome man, and Woo didn't have to think twice about pairing the two together. Shinwon didn't know anything, not what she looked like, what she was like, and who she was.

It didn't sit well with him. It's not easy for him either. Having feelings for your best friend is often the worst thing that can happen to a friendship. At least that's what he read on the internet after he researched on google. He wants so badly to be more than that, but he knows full well that it is one-sided. You see him as your best friend, and nothing more. He should have known. A blind date would help him to change his mind, but this doesn't help either.

"Sorry, I have to go," he mumbles and puts some money down for the bill, grabs his coat, and storms out of the restaurant. He can't take it anymore.

*

Several loud bangs startle you from the series that has been watching for the past few hours, to avoid being busy with Shinwon as much as possible. You rush towards the hall where you take the door off the lock and open it. The very man you tried to fight out of your mind is breathless with one hand leaning against the door frame. "What the hell happened?".

Without saying a word he walks into your apartment, you close the door behind you and follow him. He stands with both hands on his sides in the middle of the living room, shaking his head and turning around.

"Sorry, I have to do this."

He walks up to you, takes your face in both hands, and presses his lips to yours. Eyes as big as the china saucers in your grandmother's closet, hands clenched in fists and your body that can't move in any way, that's how you react to the man who, after all these years, finally kisses you.

Shinwon lets go, a little unsure of how you're going to react, but the frozen attitude your body had taken doesn't give him a straight answer.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles and prepares to disappear from your apartment as quickly as possible.

''For what?. For the fact that it took you years?. Or for the fact that you seriously think I'll agree to just one kiss?".

You are amazed that you can speak at all, your body is slowly thawing from shock, your heart is pumping like crazy and a small blush forms on your cheeks. And you wonder where the confidence comes from. Maybe you are just sick and tired of not being honest about your feelings.

Shinwon chuckles uncertainly, not knowing what to do in this situation.

"So this means that..."

You don't let him finish, you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his lips.

"It means we were both wimps." Shinwon smiles and without any warning, he grabs your body and lifts you up. Automatically you close your legs around his waist, his hands move from your lower back to your butt.

"Then these wimps should make sure that doesn't happen again," he jokes as he presses a kiss to your lips and makes his way to your bedroom.

*

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"hello?" a sleepy voice responds.

"yes, hello Yanan. good-damn-morning! it's 3pm!" you snap.

you can hear him move his phone away from his ear to check who's calling him.

"[y/n]? what's up, why are you calling me?"

"cause you're not answering your messages and we have a group assignment due in two weeks!"

"just let me know what i have to do and i'll get it done," he says.

"that's not how this works, you idiot. this is a theatre class and both of us need to be involved."

Yanan sighs.

an hour later, you're sitting across from him at a local café, angrily sipping your drink as he rubs his eyes and yawns.

"so what's the assignment?" Yanan asks.

"why didn't you check before coming?" you ask.

"did you?" Yanan retorts.

when you're silent, Yanan raises his eyebrows at you.

"okay! you've got me there! but i was there for tutorial and heard the ta explain it, at least," you say.

"okay, know-it-all," Yanan says, sticking his tongue out at you.

"anyways... we need to come up with a two person, one scene, one act play," you explain.

Yanan nods along.

"yeah okay sounds terrible, i am not doing this with you," he says, snorting.

"you can be the one to childishly beg to our ta for new partners, then," you say.

Yanan rolls his eyes, sighs, and leans back in his seat.

"you write the script and we can meet in two days to go over it?" Yanan suggests.

"me? Write it? Alone?"

Yanan nods.

"you're the good writer here, so i trust your judgement."

you can't tell if he's trying to push all the workload onto you or if he genuinely is complimenting you.

"i'll pay for the coffee in return. see you in two days," Yanan says before standing up to leave.

-

two days later, just as Yanan said, you find yourself sitting across from him on the ground in your cramped dorm room. his eyes scan the script you handed him just moments ago, and you feel nervous waiting for his reaction.

you want him to like it... why? why do you care so much about this boy whom you also hate so much? well, hate is an exaggeration, but...

you've always just had beef with Yanan for... not really any reason. he was cold to you when you first met him, ignoring you and being rude, teasing you and sometimes hurting your feelings with his jokes that went too far... so you're not fond of him.

Yanan has just always naturally felt the need to act that way around you, and he's not sure why. you're easy and fun to tease, and he likes seeing your reaction. it isn't fun for you, though, of course.

so, you wrote a script to get back at him for everything.

"so... i'm playing a dumb, clueness nerd and you're playing the smart popular person who is nice to me and helps me come out of my shell?" Yanan asks, pushing up his glasses.

"yes. i'm the hero of this story."

"of course you are. your ego is huge."

you sigh and push Yanan, telling him to stop fooling around and start reading the script aloud, already.

"okay, here i go," he says, clearing his throat.

he opens up one of your books that are laying around and acts like he's reading it. you nudge him, just like the script tells you to, and he looks up.

"not another person here to make fun of me for reading," Yanan mumbles with a pout.

you throw him a smile and pretend to lean in to see what he's reading. Yanan catches a whiff of your sweet scent and... why is the world spinning for him suddenly?

"ah, this book? i've read it before, it's so good!" you say.

"you... have read this?" Yanan asks.

you nod and pat Yanan's head. his scalp tingles at your touch.

"i know the class makes fun of you for reading, but don't listen to them. they're just picking on you because you're so pure and innocent. if anyone hurts you again, just come stand by my side, okay?" you say, grabbing his hand.

his heart skips a beat. or two. maybe three.

you let out a deep breath suddenly, letting go of his hand.

"damn, that was pretty good for a first run-through!" you say, smiling at Yanan and finally feeling like the two of you could get close.

"uh, yeah, but... i don't think i can do this anymore," Yanan mutters before standing up and leaving your dorm.

confused, you try to chase after him, to no avail. the hallways are empty and there's no sight of the tall, eye-candy (according to everyone) boy. you call and text him, but there's no reply.

he keeps up the silent treatment for days.

you get so worried that you try to find his dorm, and when you do, he won't open up no matter how much you knock and yell for him. it reaches a point where you get kicked out for being so loud in front of his dorm room.

you tell yourself you're only this worried because if he doesn't stop this then you'll fail your theatre assignment, but you're starting to feel like it's something else. is he eating well? is he sleeping? has he gone out for air? your mind thinks of questions like these and you can't focus on anything.

the day comes for you to present your theatre assignment, and Yanan isn't there. your heart hammers in your chest as one by one your classmates present and Yanan still hasn't showed up.

"[y/n] and Yanan?" your ta calls out.

you stand up, wondering how to tell your ta that Yanan isn't here, until someone calls out to you from the doorway of your classroom.

"[y/n]!" Yanan calls out, running towards you with a smile.

"Yanan?"

"let's present, and i'll explain later. i have everything memorized, so let's do this," he says, walking to the front.

you nervously trail along behind him, taking a few deep breaths before you start. it's just like that day in your dorm room, [y/n]...

applause.

you don't even know how you finished your presentation, but the applause snaps you out of your daze. hand in hand, you and Yanan bow before the class as the ta tells you that you'll receive your grade a week later.

after class, Yanan pulls you aside to have a word.

"[y/n], i'm sorry..." he starts.

"yeah, you better be! do you know how worried i was?" you say.

"you were... worried?" he asks, smirking slightly.

"uh-"

"but seriously, [y/n], i'm sorry. i was too preoccupied with myself and my own thoughts and i'm sorry about that... but i think i know now."

"you know?"

"that i like you," he says suddenly.

you look around and sigh in relief when no one's around.

"Yanan! you can't just say that."

"why? what's wrong with it? i like you, [y/n]," he says, even louder.

you lightly slap his shoulder and he giggles.

"but... why... do you like me all of a sudden?" you ask, and Yanan shakes his head.

"it's not sudden. i've always liked you," he says.

when you give him a confused expression, he smiles.

"i know.. i've treated you terribly. i think i was... kind of embarrassed of the way i felt and covered it up by teasing you, and i'm sorry about that," he explains.

"Yanan... how are you so honest?" you ask.

"because i reflected for 2 weeks about what to say to you?"

you laugh and Yanan laughs along, grateful for the release of tension.

"i... don't know what my answer is right now," you say, despite the fact that you feel like you're on cloud 9 and you're buzzing with energy.

Yanan nods, shifting in his spot.

"i'll wait for your for as long as you need. in the meantime... wanna go to a café with me or something? so i can make it up to you?"