#psyandis

Welangua,

I never quite grasped how misunderstood I was, until you were no longer here to understand me. Without you, I am lost - how I miss you.

But I’m being self-absorbed again, aren’t I? If you were here, you’d gently smack me with your quill and smile, and I would mope until you kissed me better. I’m here on Artaeum, safe and sound, as you languish in a cell in some foreign land - what a selfish mer, you’d say, a fond, crooked smile gracing your features, always wallowing in your own misery.

You’ll escape. Of that I have no doubt. No bonds could hold you for long, you’ve proven that thrice over. I hope Cyrodiil is a kinder home to you than Summerset -- I know how you hated it here, hated the way they stared at you. Eyevea isn’t quite the same without you, though.

I miss your eyes, how they sparkled in the mid-evening sun, and your hair -- your stubbornness matched that of Auriel when it came to actually brushing it.  miss running my fingers through it, the way you would melt into my touch. I miss sneaking away with you to Eyevea. I miss the way you would lounge so ungracefully on a chair, the way you were so bold. Everything you were shunned for, I have come to realize is what I love most about you.

My Psyandis. If only I could’ve told you how I truly felt before you were sent away! What I wouldn’t give to hold you in my arms again - I wonder if you knew how longingly I stared at you as you slept, so serene and safe. I know you can handle yourself, but - but I want to protect you.

Is that selfish? To long to be your sword and shield, to be the fortress that keeps your heart safe? It feels selfish. And yet, I cannot stop these feelings, this... yearning that hurts my heart so.

I love you. I miss you. And I’m sorry I was too prideful to admit it sooner.

Eternally yours,