#psy-onic

Yes, I absolutely think he is!

It's never explicitly stated, but the subtext is so in your face in a few different ways that it's essentially not even subtext any more.

Togashi could have chosen so many different ways to portray the way Killua feels about the Gon/Palm date subplot, but making it clear over and over again how bothered Killua is by the whole situation absolutely reads as jealousy, especially within the larger context of the arc. Look at these especially!

Togashi puts so much emphasis on Killua's expressions and distress throughout the whole subplot. Of course it's partly intended to be comedic, but this situation with Gon and Palm does have serious emotional weight for Killua as well--pulling out the needle, his breakdown in front of Palm, what she ends up saying to him after that, etc. I do think the exaggerated and extreme ways Togashi expresses Killua's feelings are intended to make the audience go, "Oh, he's really jealous, isn't he?"

People can argue Killua's reactions are just because of who Gon is on a date with (someone unhinged/violent and much older than him), or that it's just "concern" about Gon because of his nen situation, and those are both definitely aspects of what's going on here--but to reduce it down to only that ignores those deeper emotional impacts it has on Killua. I think the protectiveness aspect is something Killua uses to veil some of the other things he's feeling about it even though of course he is legitimately protective of Gon in this situation (and he has good reasons to be so). I also think Togashi himself uses the ambiguity to his advantage here, because if he put in romantic jealousy that was any clearer, would Jump allow it?

The way Killua goes immediately from the topic of going on dates/being freaked out about the prospect of Gon having been on dates before to feeling heartbroken because he wants to be with Gon forever the next panel is telling, in my opinion... (The English translation is a little vague, seems like it was intentionally toned down. In the original Japanese version he says he wanted to be with Gon forever.)

Here's a post where @tjlnn22 and I discuss this weightlifting scene in more detail.

I firmly believe that a big part of Palm's role as a character is to get the audience to question the nature of Killua's feelings for Gon. Without considering this context, the way her character is set up from the beginning and what role she's intended to play in Chimera Ant Arc is confusing. But when if you look at her character as having been built for that role, suddenly her entire character and subplot makes sense. Here's an older post where OP talks about some of the framing of Palm's character, and then I talk in more depth about why Palm is written the way she is.

It especially makes sense when you consider that the date with Palm is one of the factors that destabilizes Killua's faith in his relationship with Gon, leading to him wondering if they're acting together as friends or just as teammates. Here's an awesome post @tjlnn22 put together and submitted to me on this topic, with specific details supporting this argument. I think this is an important part of the arc that gets overlooked, and I love how clearly it's laid out in the linked post.

Killua also acts dismissive of Gon worrying about Palm to the point where other characters comment on his behavior, which to me seems like another sign of jealousy and bitterness on Killua's part. Then when he encounters Palm again after her transformation, this is how he behaves towards her:

Hands on his hips, full sass mode here. Again with the jealousy...

...And then shortly after this he proceeds to have a total emotional breakdown when he admits to himself that he thinks maybe Gon cares more about Palm than him, and that Palm might be the only one who can help Gon, rather than Killua. Of course there are more factors than this behind his breakdown, including him getting pushed away by Gon prior, but this is DIRECTLY the thought that leads him to start crying and then sobbing on the ground.

The Palm subplot is one of the biggest things in the series that makes me confident that the romantic subtext around Killua's feelings is completely and utterly intentional. The way the whole subplot is constructed, the decisions Togashi makes around Palm and how she's presented as a character, the way Killua's reactions and emotions are emphasized with regards to it, and the significance of this subplot in the greater arc of Killua's character all show a great deal of thought and care, and it's hard to come to any other conclusion when looking at it carefully.

Hello! Thank you so much for the kind words, it means a lot to me! ❤️ These are fantastic observations and questions, as these traits are an important part of the basis of Gon's issues, and this tendency of his to rush into danger leads him into a lot of dark situations throughout the series. It's one of the most concerning aspects of his character.

His self-esteem issues are definitely at the root of this. Gon seems to have a fundamental belief that his life isn't worth much--hence why he tells Killua he's allowed to talk about dying, but Killua isn't. I think a big piece of this comes from the abandonment issues, as well as his issues with guilt (which I still need to write a post about). If even his own father won't stick around for him, what is he worth? And notice he frames Ging's choice in such a way where he doesn't assign blame to Ging--he believes that in a choice between him and being a Hunter, he must just be the inferior choice. Not a great basis for self-worth.

As much as he looks up to Kite, I don't think his encounter with Kite when he was younger helped--he was blamed directly for the mama foxbear's death and Kon becoming an orphan. And while I don't doubt at all that Mito loves him, I think Gon may see himself as a burden on her to a certain degree, and he tries to be as self-sufficient as possible as a result. (That's more of a headcanon of mine, but I do think the complex way their relationship is framed and Gon's behavior in the series supports this to a degree.)

Because he doesn't see his life as being worth much, he tries to take on everything alone, and he sees strength and power as a method to prove that he does have worth after all. If he can prove he's strong, maybe he isn't worthless after all! If he's strong, maybe he won't be a burden to others or unintentionally cause them harm (think about the mama foxbear, and ultimately Kite himself)! If he can become a Hunter and find Ging, maybe he can understand why Ging didn't stay with him, and he won't have to wonder why he left him behind any more!

I definitely think dangerous situations and escaping death give him a a sense that he is capable and worthy, plus it's a rush to him--a form of excitement and stimulation that he craves. Also, keep in mind that Gon grew up among nature, including many wild animals. While "survival of the fittest" is an oversimplification of how nature works, certainly at the same time, a weak animal is more likely to fall prey to a predator. So of course being strong is the more advantageous position to be in, and especially as a person who isn't sure of his worth or his place in the world.

I think he believes the stronger he becomes, the more dangerous situations he can escape, and the more strong enemies he can defeat, the more capable and worthy he'll feel. Because of how much his self-esteem then hinges on whether he's strong or not, things like Hisoka punching him and giving him his badge make Gon struggle to feel like he has value. The times we see Gon cry, like in his conversation with Kurapika in the airship about that moment with Hisoka, or in the scene after he couldn't win against Knuckle and couldn't go to NGL to rescue Kite, often relate directly to him not feeling strong enough.

Also yet again (back to my usual refrain), this is in fact another subversion of shounen expectations. Shounen protagonists tend to be energetic and feisty teen boys who throw themselves into dangerous situations easily, and in most shounen series this is a trait that's not treated with much weight--they can handle it, nothing truly bad generally happens to them as a result, this trait of theirs is treated as something brave and admirable and "cool."

But with Gon, Togashi does give it weight--others worry about him and comment on this trait of his, his recklessness has real costs for him that escalate over time (think about the results of Gon tailing Hisoka in the Hunter Exam, Gon vs Gido, the end of Greed Island, and of course CAA), and ultimately his disregard for his own worth and safety essentially leads him to throw away his own life. In Gon, it's not an admirable trait, but a concerning and tragic one, with deep roots in his psyche.

It's brilliant to me how many of Gon's traits all link together--his low self-esteem comes from his abandonment issues and leads to his recklessness, he has a selfish streak because he's young and still somewhat immature and grew up isolated, and his short-sightedness as a result of that manifests in his sense of morality not being fully developed. And yet even with all of that, he's still a sweet, cheerful, kind, smart, and encouraging boy. I absolutely love the complexity of his character and how, if you carefully analyze him, the way he is makes so much sense.

A box, and a note

Inside the box is an outfit, made just for psy (up to mod what kind of outfit)

The note reads : this is for you psy, not zap, you, I didn't know quite what you like but I did my best

It’s a special set of earphones, clip on and wireless. They’re extremely light so they don’t weigh your ears down. They can be charged by solar or through a wireless charger that’s also been provided in the set.

They look like mini thunderbolts and can light up in a variety of colours depending on the music you are listening to and manual control through your linked devices.