#ps synesthesia

long story short I had a panic attack and broke down in front of my teacher and during anxiety/panic attacks, my sense-covers go way down, so I was hearing and smelling and tasting a lot.

I had yogurt with blueberries in it earlier and (I can’t tell whether this is because of the quarantine getting to me or because synesthesia) the blueberries tasted like [friend]. Freeze dried blueberries have always tasted like [friend], but this time more so.

I haven’t seen [friend] for a year. If you even count that one meeting, it hardly lasted more than three hours. Other than that, five years.

This entire quarantine has been very strange to me, because even though nothing’s really changed for us, it feels worse. Like something’s off.

I look at the photos they send me, and reread the letters and postcards, and my mind goes blank with thought.

scents/people I wanna scent when the whole quarantine/circuit breaker thing is over:

RAIN!!! it’s such a calming scent and they’re one of the best friends I have :D

Spices! spices are really nice because they’re calming and it goes really well with their personality

Mangoes!! (I have actually not told them about my synesthesia so I have no idea whether they would be satisfied with the concept of a mango scent, but let’s just assume.......yes)

Vanilla bean! It’s not as strong as vanilla extract or vanilla ice cream, but it’s quite nice, not too overwhelming, but nicely underlying. It’s a particularly nice scent to be around.

Books and leather!! This is a weird mix of scents that go well together but it works. This person is also unaware of my synesthesia (I don’t talk to them very much) but I told one of my friends (spices) about it and they said that this person would be really happy to have books and leather as a scent.

Lavender!! I don’t see this person around much but they’re so nice!! It’s always a pleasant surprise to see them.

e: why do you smell like strawberry shortcake in the rain

c: how do you know what that smells like

things that happened today:

- I have to sit with people and I’m very scared of them and their scents because I had a headache all morning from them hhh

- i was ranting about this and I may have accidentally mentioned “less than 1% of the population has this condition” too loudly ....

- there is actually a proper name for this? olfactory synesthesia. So I suppose this would be personality olfactory synesthesia...

continuation of c

for some reason we have condiment packets on one of our classroom walls

teacher: you guys know it’s gonna be a real hassle to take these down right? you probably can’t even consume them anymore

p: they expired a year ago! we have a lot of extras at my house

e: wait,,,,, c,,,,,,

*flashbacks of c eating two packets of condiments*

x: c have you had any history of food poisoning lately

so today in literature class the topic somehow diverted to bread:

c: you should not eat gardenia bread

teacher: ok so what bread do you recommend?

c: no

teacher:

so apparently she doesn’t like bread? i dunno, I don’t really have a preference for bread

my tablemate (butter cookie) asked me

her: what shows do you watch on netflix

me: I don’t have netflix

her: ok..what do you watch then? like anywhere else

me, not ready to tell her what big hero six, creamheroes and twoset is: nothing really, I’m kind of lame