#proverbs31:25

4/14/15:

As my second semester of college is coming to an end, papers and exams have been overflowing my life. The stress and chaos have been pulling me down into an abyss of depravity and sadness. The thought of how I am going to accomplish everything  has been imprinted into my mind. With so much academic responsibility, it is so hard to enjoy what I have left as a freshman college student. As much as I want to get involved, and as much I want to socialize and have fun, it is so difficult to plan time to do all those wonderful things. We all have our morals. In fact, I am currently writing a paper about morality. Morality is what helps us decide what is right from wrong. My morality tells me that academia is more important that anything else in this period of time. Now I don't remember if I mentioned anything about how my body does not react to stress well. Imagine how my body reacted to this amount of stress recently. With a huge biology lab practicum this week, and a 10 page paper due in 2 days that I didn't even start yet, and 2 other 10-page papers due next week, my body just shut down on Saturday. Although they were not as bad as my normal anxiety attacks, I had 3 anxiety attacks in just one day. I felt like my worries have just consumed me and I can’t free myself out of that bars that have confined me to feel that certain way. 

The stress has not diminished, and it will continue to pile up in the next 2 weeks. However, by the grace of God, He provided me a verse that has been getting me through my tough days. “she is clothed in STRENGTH AND DIGNITY,and laughs WITHOUT FEAR of the future” -proverbs 31: 25. I believe that God will supply the strength, wisdom, and courage to get through the last bit of my freshman year in college. Yes, it may not go the way I planned it to be, BUT, God already knows the outcome of the semester. HE already knows how I am going to do on all of my exams, and HE already knows all the last school festivities I will participate in before the school year ends. I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DOUBT THE CAPABILITIES OF GOD. Despite these struggles, and these hardships that have dragged me into a little cave of ‘minor depression’, I know this feeling will only be temporary. 

"LEARN TO LAUGH at yourself more freely.  Don't take yourself or your circumstances so seriously.  Relax and know that I am God with you.  When you desire My will above all else, life becomes much less threatening.  Stop trying to monitor My responsibilities - thing that are beyond your control.  Find freedom by accepting the boundaries of your domain.

Laughter lightens your load and lifts your heart into heavenly places.  Your laughter rises to heaven and blends with angelic melodies of praise.  Just as parents delight in the laughter of their children, so I delight in hearing My children laugh.  I rejoice when you trust Me enough to enjoy your life lightheartedly.

Do not miss the Joy of My Presence by carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.  Rather, take My yoke upon you and learn from Me.  My yoke is comfortable and pleasant; My burden is light and easily borne."

-Jesus Calling