#proustquestionnaire

Sitting at a table at home in the very early hours of morning, with a lover or a couple of very close friends, drinking coffee, enjoying the mundane hours with simple or engaging conversations. 

2. What is your greatest fear?

I don’t have any great fears, but one normal fear would be getting or deducing something fundemantally wrong about the existence and realizing that it had cost me something considerably tangible in my life, palpable or emotional.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Being too tolerant about a hostile behaviour or feeling too much emphaty for a sinister person; not in an intellectual way but rather practically.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Wasting their potential brain power of beauty and kindness, and instead using this marvellous, sophisticated organ for lax and cosmically vain / futile manners.

5. What is your greatest extravagance?

Not having a normal sleeping pattern.

6. What is your current state of mind?

Contemplative.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Having a coherence of thoughts and opinions throughout one’s life.

8. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I am at peace with my bodily appearance.

9. Which living person do you most despise?

I generally don’t despise anyone in my heart or in my intellectual ways, because I believe even the most hostile people have a spectrum of humane qualities about them. I see that even normal people so easily hate one another even though they all have a rich spectrum of good in their hearts and in their outside relationships with the world and other people. And I also intellectually believe that strong, consistent hatred is closely related to intelligence deficiency in some form. But on the other hand, from time to time, I find myself in a position of despise towards a couple of specific toxic people who are obsessed with my every move, who are unable to have healthy communication with me, who don’t possess any humane will or talent about bettering a situation and instead violate my life boundaries impudently.    

10. What is the quality you most like in a man?

Having a strong self and cosmic awareness, having a sincere sense of kindship and humour, and a strong will to better the world. 

11. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Having a strong self and cosmic awareness, honesty, courage to be herself, artistic interests and a strong will to better the world.

12. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

I don’t know.

13. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Coffee. And as a person, I loved everyone I loved with a distinct care.

14. When and where were you happiest?

I feel in almost every way superior to my past selves, that’s why I wouldn’t trade today’s certain kinds of happinesses for a return to a past phase or time, but I probably felt happiest when I was with a close group of friends in the flow of life or in a close love relationship.

15. Which talent would you most like to have?

Playing a couple of musical instruments very well, especially lute, and of course the ability to understand notation and compose music accordingly.

16. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

People should be able to change the things that they don’t like about themselves. If they can’t, then they should try harder or it should be accepted and lived with. But the most immediate change about my own life would probably be being less on the spot in the eyes of hostile people and being able to perform my art in the way that I want without the superficial values and shallow perceptions.   

17. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Attaining the power of feeling at ease by myself, and with myself.

18. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I would probably like to come back as a woman version of myself in order to experience the more feminine side of nature, or I would like to come back as a musical instrument and I would like every heartfelt composition to move me accordingly.   

19. Where would you most like to live?

In a world where there is peace and a minimum level of humane living conditions for everybody, probably in somewhere like London, because it rains all the time and it is a cultural hub. 

20. What is your most treasured possession?

My books and music collection.

21. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Wasting one’s only life messing around obsessively with other people and being a bully leader or manager who works solely for his or her own interests and doesn’t have an agenda to better the world.

22. What is your favorite occupation?

Being an archeologist, a paleontologist, a working member of a Natural History Museum, a theoretical physicist, a mathematician, a philosopher, an artist, a philologist, a psychiatrist and a guest academician at a university which has a distinct architecture. I guess I settled for an artist who has an appetite for all these and life in general.   

23. What is your most marked characteristic?

I am not aware of any.

24. What do you most value in your friends?

Sincerity, sincerity, sincerity.

25. Who are your favorite writers?

Murathan Mungan, Lale Müldür, Jorge Luis Borges, Peyami Safa, Erich Fromm, Stephen King, Bulgakov, Patti Smith, Leonard Cohen, Enis Batur are the first ones to come to my mind.

26. Who is your hero of fiction?

Adam from “Only Lovers Left Alive”, Sirius from “Harry Potter”, Tommy and Isabel from “The Fountain”, Ted Mosby from "HIMYM" and Jesse from “The Before Trilogy”.

27. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

I don’t know, but I’d like to think that every real personality has unique characteristics that are their own.

28. Who are your heroes in real life?

I passed the ages in which I give too much importance to someone in the sense that I see someone flawless or as my hero, and it’s okay, because it makes you forget that they are human.

29. What are your favorite names?

Lara, Alya, Marin

30. What is it that you most dislike?

Being exposed to laxity.

31. What is your greatest regret?

I have three greatest regrets:

That I didn’t give the proper response to a reckless person or two at the time when it mattered because I was too young; that I ended my love relationship too early with a young woman who I loved deeply because I thought she didn’t quite loved me with an equal care and passion; and an adolescence mistake that I had forgotten but remembered probably around three or four years ago.

32. How would you like to die?

The first thing that comes to my mind is, while sailing in the vast waters, at an elderly age, drunk with a cosmic, existential feeling, landing on a small, empty piece of land, listening to my favourite songs and compositions for a couple of hours on the sands, and then finally dying. Of course avoiding death for a long time would be better.    

33. What is your motto?

Life is life.

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Q：你使用過的最多的單詞或詞語是什麼？

嗯，絕對是「沒關係」。

雖然像在緩解別人的不安，但某種程度上大概也是說給自己聽的。