Velvet worms are cute and for some reason remind me if you were to take a slug and give them millipede legs
Like what are these squishy little guys and why are they so cute (how do they exist and are not talked about much)

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Velvet worms are cute and for some reason remind me if you were to take a slug and give them millipede legs
Like what are these squishy little guys and why are they so cute (how do they exist and are not talked about much)

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I finished all my exams, so whatâs the best use of my time? Clearly itâs creating phylogenetic teaching aids with the help of PokĂŠmon.
Here presenting the PokĂŠmon Guide to the Tree of Life (with an emphasis on animals, and especially vertebrates)!
(All images from Bulbapedia.)
The Ancestorâs Tale, Rendezvous 26: Protostomes Part 3 (Peanut worm)
The Ragwormâs Tale: Creative Thought Experiment
At the risk of upsetting the author of the book, letâs pretend weâre some ultimate deity (Evolica: goddess of evolution). Letâs say you want to âcreateâ a sea worm. Letâs start with the familiar cylindrical shape. What are some considerations we have with our living cylinder?
1) Wormâs gotta eat! Some way of getting outside nutrients in itâs body. Give it a hole (for now letâs just put it anywhere).
2) There may be bad things that enter the worm, along with waste that doesnât need to be in the worm anymore. It could come out the same hole it came. But that could be problematically untidy (donât shit where you eat). Maybe letâs make another hole. Maybe we want that second (waste) hole as far away from the food hole as possible. The most efficient way is on opposite sides of the cylinder. Our arbitrarily placed food hole is now moved to a the side we decide to call the head.
3) We donât want a stationary worm, Thereâs likely an energy profit (energy gain-energy used) to finding food. Which direction will this worm move/swim? There are many choices in our infinite power, but itâs probably most efficient to move and/or swim forward (head first).Â
4) While itâs probably doing well blind, seeing would probably increase efficiency. Letâs give the worm some eyes. How many and where? Where is easy. On the head. But above or below the mouth? If this worm was on the ground, above it would be water and below would be ground. Considering eye irritation as well as larger perception, letâs give it above-mouth eyes. How many? Arenât two eyes better than one? Wait! Arenât 1000 eyes better than two? We probably want to minimize surface area the eyes take, while maximizing maybe peripheral vision? Sure letâs go with that. Thereâs a left and right side of us, so why not two symmetrical eyes laid across the top part of the face.
Viola! This worm is probably going to survive in the wild seas. Of course we a sadistic goddess so weâll throw some predators and other obstacles here and there to evolve our little worm. In the process of overcoming hardships, maybe it develops:
1) a nose for higher efficiency of finding food (especially for itâs land based offspring)
2) ears for similar reasons as well as making up for the limitation of the eyes in predatory alerts
3) limbs/fins for more efficient mobilization for hunting/escaping. Maybe a tale for added balance
This thought experiment was to illustrate why we have some of the basic body parts where they are. Itâs admittedly over-simplified (Iâm no where near being a biologist). The two-eye reasoning could be the reason we have two of other things. Selection seems to favor symmetry along the spine for vertebrates. Some exceptions include:
1) The Wrybillâs Beak
2) The Wonky-eyed Jewel Squid whoâs left eye is huge compared to the right. It swims in a 45° angle with the larger eye looking up for prey and the lesser eye looking out for predators. This âabominationâ was probably a product of the neighbor pretender-god of evolution, Dinkleberg. Stay away, forever unclean!
This explains why we all talk so much shit.
Teacher: We're part of the coelomates, which can be classified as protostomes or deuterostomes. When the zygote becomes a blastula (hollow ball of cells), they form an opening called the blastopore. In Protostomes, the blastopore becomes the mouth, the anus forms later; in deuterostomes, the anus, the mouth forms later.
Me: And what are we?
Teacher: Deuterostomes.
So I'm studying Animal Phylogeny with my friend Ashley
Ashley: So, Nematoda are protosomes and...
Me: Protostomes, not protosomes
Ashley: Thanks, Hermione

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