#proscuitto

currently mad asf !!! i wrote this and it got deleted so i had to rewrite!1 ill post part one and finish it asap!!! the characters included are risotto proscuitto and formaggio! hope you enjoy <3

PROSCUITTO

judging by how this man was talking about Trish in the eng dub ver he is most definitely judging your every move. god forbid you decide to use a bit of concealer to hid a pimple or dark under eyes or even apply lip balm because this man will not shut the fuck up about it for the next 20 minutes

‘Women spend so much time on makeup” “what? are you trying to look good for our targets?” with that ugly bitch face he always has. the only time he’s nice is if you do somewhat good on the mission like take someone out while they’re sneaking up on him but even then, he still makes other comments like. ‘You should’ve found them earlier what if they actually got me”. this man is always complaining about something you do but most of his attention is on Pesci instead anyways so that saves you. unless you want an earful for 30 minutes straight constantly abrupted by his smoker’s cough DO NOTTT approach this man (I do not like him)

FORMAGGIO

when you join la squadra just like Melone formaggio will not leave you alone like some clingy ex.

I personally head canon this man as a stoner of some sort of stoner, expect him to offer you a joint one night. he’s actually good to talk to he’s there when you want to vent to about illuso and prosciutto for their stupid remarks and he without fail makes you laugh joking about them and their childish behaviours’ very laid-back talks to you after the missions about how it went and what not.

if part 5 took place in 2025 I just know this man would be spamming your insta with reels, cat videos memes etc none of it makes sense to him he just thought you’d find it funny.

RISOTTO

Risotto isn’t the type to be that invested how people live their lives and truly be not that concerned on how people may present themselves. so, when you join the group it barely passed his brain that you’re a girl up until he sees how la squadra treats you of course... he knows his team isn’t exactly normal. melone invasive with his stand babyface forgetting what questions are appropriate in certain scenarios ghisaccios temper over tiny things and pesci being too sensitive for this line of work. but the way they talk to you can only make him sigh in second hand embarrassment.

The lighting from the cigarette was such a pain in the ass to do... hey, it looks cool now... Right?...