#projmoonblogging

Araya trapped in a dark, quiet box for so long, her sense of time being fucked beyond help, the resentment for the parent who abandoned her to that darkness, who broke promises-- but somehow she can't help but still feel some affection for them anyway.

The place no one could escape, where no one could see the sky, the cramped place Ryoshu left and never returned to...leaving her daughter behind to suffer and resent and be angry.

Not to mention-- Ryoshu's hatred towards her mother, who couldn't even look her in the eyes, who hated to see her, who demanded she not become like her...yet she had the same eyes, even still. The mother who resented her for being the reason she was chained and trapped in this horrible place.

The complex feelings of Resentment and Affection, the abuse of a parent both intentionally via their own pain or without even realizing via that same pain-- but it still matters, it still happened.

And all that's left is words you never got to say, and a hole where the person that's now gone and forgotten remains.

Like Angela's said, both in Day 21 and in her Limbus Announcer...

After all, you once told me that… sometimes, those that are forgotten can be the more beautiful.

This. This. The parallels. Please. Even if you don't Dante=Ayin theory, you have to admit THIS IS HERE TOO. This is the opposite of sanctifying him. This is showing in stark relief his faults and flaws and things he did wrong without meaning to-- the things he still needs to put right, because yes, this was wrong. And he needs to make it right.

it truly, truly is exhausting when on the one side, carmen fans insist she's perfect and flawless and argue against anything that makes her seem less than, and her sainthood or just general goodness is widely accepted, and it's totally cool and fine and okay to be a fan of her and 'god forbid women have hobbies' or whatever

while ayin fans have to bend over backwards and practically apologize for liking him and fight tooth and nail to get any kind of acceptance that he's "maybe not satan i guess" let alone that he's got good traits and positive things one can say about him and isn't the source of all evil, and god forbid you think dante is ayin bc holy shit they'll call you delusional at best

like which character is actively distorting people in limbus plot right now (including one of the main characters!!!) and being unsettling and creepy and unrepentant and which character apologized out loud to the face of someone he hurt and has tried to help people by giving them ego (not even getting into the dantayin theory), and yet somehow its cool and trendy and sexy to like one and how dare you like the other

Anyway what I really wanted to say was that I think the hostility towards the theory is that the general consesus about Ayin/X/etc. is incredibly vitrolic. Like if you look at the average fic about the relationship of Ayin and the sephirah and especially on the realtionship with Angela, the fans in general paint ayin in an almost sadistic (?) light even though we know next to nothing about how ayin acts and thinks on like a normal day without trauma/some form of ptsd. The other characters get a lot of (deserved) grace, especially Angela whereas Ayin gets rarely even some consideration on his motive beyond "i haaaateee everyone" or on how he could have been negatively impacted by the events in Lobcorp. Or some try to write him as a "psychopath" because of his blankness and how he expresses himself and yknow how he can be somewhat violent and cruel. Which btw as someone with the two for one pack (aspd and autism) the execution of that stuff in fanworks feels often incredibly tastless but what do I know ig. Trying to find even a lukewarm opinion is difficult. It feels like I'm in the trenches 💀.

Really hoping that limbus will do for ayin what lor did for the opinion on Angela 🙏

I just saw this and HELL YEAH ANOTHER PERSON WHO BELIEVES THE THEORY

Because you're SO RIGHT-- why would someone totally unrelated to any of the Sephirah have access to them and their skills, and then when it comes to Chesed's, why would he TALK to a complete stranger he he's never met?

And you're right about that too-- I've written Ayin fic, and it was 100% inspired by reading the TVTropes page on LobCorp and seeing how negatively and biased against Ayin everything was, talking about him in such a negative light -- all of what you said about claiming he's so sadistic and hates everyone and hurt them on purpose etc, which is so biased and nothing like what we see.

let me just scream about something under the cut

So this is extremely important to note and I'm adding this to my theory post in a second but.

I am now collaborating on The Big Document with @leonawriter, my co-leader in this theory! Check out their Tumblr for a lot more great discussion on it. They're a lot better at putting some things to words then I am, so with their help we're slowly gonna work on making the Theory Doc even better!