#projectexpression

Dislikes

1. I always am so hard on myself. I try not to but I always end up being so tough and mean to myself when I know it wasn't that bad, just a simple mistake. 

2. How I always over think things. I can understand all the concepts but when it comes to the test...FAIL. I don't understand why and I try not to over think but in the end I do. 

3. The way my words jumble up when I talk especially when I'm talking to an adult. I find it kind of embarrassing when I'm trying to ask a question. 

4. I'm scared of many things. I wish I could be fearless so day by day I'm conquering my fears even if they're baby steps. One step at a time.

5. I'm allergic to a lot fruits. I actually enjoy eating fruits but because I can't unless it is processed I can't enjoy things that are at its natural state. I want a caramel apple :(

6.  I care too much. I can't stop caring for anyone...you could hate me or even want to kill me, it doesn't matter what you do/say I'll care about you. If I cared for you once than you know that I'll always care about you. It is bad because I can't stop and it just ends up hurting me when someone I truly care about dislikes me or doesn't treat me right. I don't know when its too much for me to handle.

7. When I feel a certain way it goes full force. Sometimes it's bad because it might not be something big in general but if I'm trying to make a point it gets intensified. I don't mean to but if I'm caught up in the moment I can get really angry and scary. 

8. My hair is so flat. Besides that I don't really dislike my hair I just wish it had a bit more volume. 

9. My indecisiveness. Sometimes I don't know what I want because my heart is telling me one thing and my brain is telling me another.  I just need to consider both and make the best choice but it takes me a long time. 

10. I'm short. I want to be average height or atleast grow 4 inches. 

Likes

1. My long term memory. I can remember a lot of details about the past and their dates. Most people can't remember them and I feel happy that people can recall certain memories when I tell them that they have forgotten. I feel like the keeper of lost memories haha. 

2. My teeth/smile. I'm glad I never had to get braces and that my teeth are pretty straight. 

3. How you can always tell how I feel from my face expression. I'm like an open book and you can tell if I dislike you or not. Therefore there won't be any fake friendship that will be going on between us. 

4. That I'm honest. I will tell you how I feel about you whether it hurts or not because I think you deserve to hear it. I won't be so blunt that it'll hurt immensely but I'm not going to pretend that I like something when I really don't. 

5. I keep my promises. I won't break any promises unless somehow I forget but usually I don't. I still kept the promises till today from people who have hated me just because I promised them back then that I wouldn't disclose any of their personal information. 

6. I'm a romantic. I will get all giddy when it comes to anything cute/romantic. I have hope for love, it might be hard to receive but I have hope one day it'll come. Being a romantic helps me not look at humanity in such a negative light but rather a happier and positive light because you can see the compassion and love radiating from one another. <3

7. I am able to connect with people easily. I like it because then I can help others if they have problems or anything even if I don't know them I can place myself in their shoes so I can see how they're thinking. It then gives me different views of society and I can relate to others. 

8. I forgive easily, maybe too easily. Forgiveness brings forth another door that you have been shutting from with hatred and anger. 

9. I'm not afraid to ask for help when I need it. I think by doing that you're not limiting yourself and thinking you know everything. It decreases your level of cockiness and you learn many people have a lot to offer to help than you would expect. 

Surprisingly, I did not get very annoyed today. However, there is a topic that generally angers/saddens me. I have always been a romantic, an extreme romantic, in the 8th grade. I believed in love, faithful people, the innately good nature that people have, and that one day love will prevail and there would not be so much hatred in the world. I still believe those things now but not to that great of extent because of the people I have encountered. I remember my conversation with my best friend four years ago...we talked about this topic and she was the pessimistic person when it came to this and I was the optimistic one. Four years later and we had the same conversation today. However, roles were reversed. I guess in a way thats good so we both never fully give up on humanity and their capabilities. 

I believe so many people take love and commitments/promises too lightly. Maybe I'm just being dumb or naive but when someone promises me something or even worse swore to me that something will happen or something like that than I believe wholeheartedly that they would not just break their promise. I don't care if you guys aren't friends anymore or you hate each other, no matter the circumstance a promise/commitment made should not be broken. On the other note, love is a strong powerful word and I think I have only used it with two people because I truly meant it. I do not understand why some people just throw that word around because you know the person wants to hear it said. In relationships I don't think anyone should even say they love the other person until the wholeheartedly feel and think they do. It's such a powerful word that nothing can compare with. No matter the circumstance when I fall in love or I say I love someone I will never stop loving them. Love is something that cannot just fade away, it just doesn't. When you truly love them it doesn't matter what they do or say, they could even hate you, it doesn't matter but you'll love them no matter what. I haven't had the best relationships but I still cherish them. I cherished our fights, our laughs, our memories, everything. I will always love them because I know that that feeling will never go away. I don't think many people perceive love the way I do but when I love someone it's not a feeling that can magically disappear even if you hate them. That is why when I say that no matter what happens I'd be there for you it's true. The love for a significant other or even the love of a friend is powerful. I will always be here for anyone that has been my friend because at one point they mattered to me. Exs, friends, people I don't know, I will always be here for you even if I particularly don't like you...not because I'm being nice but I truly and honestly care about them. 

Ongoing with that idea, marriage I think now a days has diminished its meaning. Marriage used to be sacred ceremony where when you chose your fiance you knew you would be with each other for the rest of their life. You knew they were The ONE. However, nowadays marriage is not that big of a deal anymore. There are divorces going on all the time and it makes people think "Oh well it's okay if things don't work out because I can just get a divorce". Obviously they don't think that when marrying the person but probably when marrying them they don't seem to realize that they have to marry all of their significant other's flaws and must deal with them everyday. They just might be in their honeymoon stage and finally later on they realize that the person they once knew is not the person they want to be with. I just feel as if people should think carefully before marrying someone. Think as if this is the only person you can marry. That there are no such things as divorces and you must live with them for the rest of your life. If you can imagine yourself being happy and know you won't ever regret your marriage than thats great. So many people though go through a marriage, have children, then divorce. It's a constant cycle and it just objects the whole idea of the holy union between two people.

It makes me sad knowing all of this. How do you know when the person says 'i love you' that they don't just mean it now? You should believe them but that's all you can do. They might promise you that they do but you can never be totally sure. That's the risk you take. Promises can be false hope sometimes and I know that but I can't stop believing in them when I trust the person because I believe they would not break their promise purposely. Even if they do it a million times I still have hope in them that they wouldn't especially if I had some type of strong relationship or friendship with them. So my question is...when marriage comes along how do you know he is the one or not? You can believe their words and see some things from their actions but what necessarily puts them from a relationship type of person to an actual marriage material person. A marriage after all is just a long termed relationship and like a relationship it will need work put into it day by day. Love isn't an easy thing to come by and how do you know with this new thinking of society nowadays that divorces are common and typical that the person you will marry thinks the same way as you. The whole "to death do us part" how do you know they do not mean it just at the moment and actually mean it for life. Yes they can mean it when you both are happy but what shows you that he will mean it for life. You might be telling me 'oh you'll know when you meet the person' or 'you just have to trust the other person and know they have the same viewpoints as you' but listen people change constantly and I feel as society has played such a huge role in this that it seems significantly okay for a divorce (which is just a breakup in a relationship). It's fine...it's part of life...well not really it doesn't have to be. That's why when a person is in love with another and I mean truly in love than nothing should be able to tear them apart. Completely and absolutely nothing. Because love that strong, no matter what happens, can never break the relationship. You want to be with that person even if they drive you up a wall or they constantly just piss you off. If your love is that strong I think you should get married and if not I don't think you should because there will always be something along the way that will annoy you and you'll just end up leading the person on thinking they feel/think the same way as you.