How to Lose at Magic
(Take this post mostly as a journal entry and me just sharing my thoughts.)
This weekend is probably the worst weekend I've ever had in magic. Not playing the game, not the people, not how it was run. Just the worst I've ever done at an event. And well. A massive pit that I have fallen into over the last many months.
Last year, August - December was something I am really proud of. I top 8'd my first PTQ feeling extremely confident about my deck and my choices and my place as a player. I top 64'd GP LA with a deck I felt was extremely powerful and could have taken it all the way. I top 4'd a few GPTs with decks I hadn't felt that prepared or good about, and then I took 6th at Cardmagheddon, which regardless of the factor that that event seemed extremely flunky and not that well organized, it felt good to do as hot as I did at a larger event. The weekend after that I took top 16 at two PTQs with decks I felt rather good about, one Sealed one Standard.
Leading into January I still was running a little got, doing well at a few PPTQs, annoying events imo, and letting other people in my group get the spotlight.
SCG Regionals is the beginning of a fall, I feel. I bring a deck I brewed up and did well with a time or two while playing back home to it and end up going 1-2 drop. A start to a cycle. I enjoy the day with Kaye and Sarah and try to just get over the fact that I am not in a good mood.
SCG LA was the next event in a series of events. I brought a deck I had a lot of practice with. Strange. That's never my plan. I went 1-2 and felt like I was playing bad so I dropped without trying the whole day. (My main issue I've had with myself.) I play in a side event or two for Modern with the deck I felt was so powerful and I had so much practice with and well, I don't do too hot there. 2-2 my best. But 2-4 over the course of Win-a-boxes along with Open Trials throughout the day. The night comes, Thomas, Bret, and Dave enjoying their night in LA while I stay in the room. I can't sleep, I have the only key. Because I walked back first, and they were out for another two or so hours before they come back. At around 11pm. Which isn't that late, but when your sleep the day before was maybe 2 hours... it adds up. They get to the room, still wide awake, and enjoy the rest of their night. It didn't help that the room's walls were paper thin. Day two rolls around, and I don't even feel like trying that's how bad I feel. Bad luck, probably, or bad choices, but we end up going home early and I miss the event I was so excited for.
I take a bit of a break, playing in a GPT or an IQ here or there, doing alright but never good enough to make me happy. GP Vegas comes around, it was a lot longer of a break than it felt. Vegas was something I could not wait for, My Gall Bladder could have.
I dropped at 1-1, My win being a bye, because I was in so much pain.
Surgery happens.
I really don't play like, any magic at all for a month because of the surgery. I feel like trash, I try to get better at Hearthstone. I get extremely pissed off because I can't even do well there. Who cares, move on.
Tim and I go to a PPTQ for Modern. My deck was something I liked and felt alright with, I played a great game of magic game 1 and then lost games I should have been able to win and went. Surprisingly. 1-2 and dropped.
GP San Diego is the next event on my radar for even being worth trying. I have absolutely no idea what deck I want to play in Magic Origins format. I play a few different decks, don't like them. Say screw it. Play Turbo Fog. I'm hanging out with friends who cares. I go with Roseanna, Nick, and Suhas and stay down there with Kaye, Sarah, Kade, and well Whitney shows up also. What a weekend. It was fun, and oddly enough I actually had a positive record with the deck. Sure I dropped at 4-3, (Because I have a curse with the record 4-1), but it wasn't 1-2 or some other bad drop. But hey Marc Calderaro, one of the Writers for Wizards, recognizes me. That's a good thing.
For personal reasons, I haven't played much high level magic between then and now. This weekend, SCG States, was really the first day I got to be able to play higher level magic. And it did not go as planned. But, that's what to be expected, right?
Travis Woo posts a cool deck on Thursday night. I play some games with it, discover it is sweet. Sadly, it is extremely difficult to play. I lose games I should have won and move on. I lose my first round at states with it to an Atarka Red player because I can't count, am half asleep, and cast one spell short of lethal even though I had 2-3 spells in hands, counting loots. I then pair against DJ and beat him in match, but I give him the win because I really just felt like absolute shit and knew that I would not be able to win out from where I was. It felt really bad to do, as a magic player, but as a person who understands me and my own abilities it was the right move.
Day Two, Modern, I play the Esper Rites deck I've been working on a lot. Play against Fish twice. I feel like that was a good matchup. I lose twice. Well, that's tilting. Super, super tilting to draw amazing cards like Watery Grave, Island, and Plains many turns in a row, and many games in a row after that, when It's turn 7-10. Variance, but in 6 games bricking that many times just seems hard. Round three, still live and hey at least I really really like the format, and I slept, I pair against some guy playing mono-green stompy. Holy hell how was there more than DJ in that room playing Avatar of the Resolute, Leatherback Baloth, and friends in a Modern comp REL event. I get promptly destroyed by Dryad Militant. I drop a tournament I felt really confident playing in at 0-3. I honestly feel like this is the first time I've ever, EVER, went 0-3 in a Competitive REL event. At least Kaye was there to talk to and take my mind off of everything else with.
This last year, well, time since January really puts into perspective how easy it is for something to turn south so quickly. A great run can immediately shift and run you right into a wall. It's absolutely insane to me how good I was doing and flopping into the worst year of magic I've had. And when I started I was not good, but at least I had more positive records than 1-2 drops that year. It takes a lot to collect my thoughts like this, but it's just... extremely disappointing to me that this has happened. I feel like I should have done much better, and I feel like I could have played and picked my choices a lot better, but instead here I am writing this post about how bad my year has been instead of how good my last two were. It hasn't even been a year since these finishes that were good enough but this bad seems to absolutely overwhelm the good. And I can't take my mind off of it.
