Two years ago today (8/17), I began my journey at Lever. Two years may not sound like a long time, but itās ages in startup land and this is my first time making it to this point. So oblige meā¦
I'm still at Lever because people care about doing a damn good job ā together. I also care about making the product better, and we are far from making that goal -- every day, there is a new fire. Sure, that sounds hectic and unhealthy, but it's what I thrive on.
Yes, we do have problems. I don't love working at Lever 100% or even 90% of the time, and I want to be real about that. We're scaling our team and our product, and we've made mishires and mistakes. It's frustrating. But every day, we try to get better.
---
It is the first night of our company off-site. (Of course we have a new shirt.) My highlight was watching our co-founding CEO and CPO sing their hearts out to āEmpire State of Mindā, in front of a dancing crowd. Our founders (including our CTO) are all normal people. I have always loved that. But watching them do karaokeā¦I felt emotional. I finally felt what loyalty must feel like. Theyāre my leaders.
Lever has been good to me. I donāt really know what lies ahead for me, but I know we have a lot of challenges ahead of us. And boy, do I love a challenge.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
Iāve tried to write this post many times over the past week.
āI can do all these things now!ā ā> āBuilding out this role profile was really interesting.ā ā> āIām so tired, I canāt function :ā(ā
The short of it is that Iām now leading the Product Ops team. Yay!
The long of it (that isnāt a phrase, but bear with me) is that Iām tired, anxious, stressed, frustrated, nervous, and tired again.
Some of it has to do with transitioning to leadership. I fear failure and feel uncomfortable with this new level of leadership and responsibility.
Some of it is has to do with our heavy workload. (Hey guys, weāre hiring!)
And some of it has to do with working with others ā I may have Red in me (as we say at Lever), but Iām finding that colors are not the perfect way to describe people or acknowledge their needs.
Iām going to talk mostly about the last bit today.
Iāve been trying and failing to read this book about ācollaborative intelligence.ā Itās a business book, so itās kind of convoluted but the gist is that we all have different ways of concentrating on a task, understanding/processing information, and dreaming up ideas. It suggests that team members donāt understand how to work with these differences, resulting in frustration when they canāt come together.
Iāve recently noticed that my ability to step up and contribute in meetings is sometimes hindered. While I cringe at the thought of leading my own meetings now, I do want to give people a safe and productive space.
I personally hate being shown a white board and told to āGO!!ā This does not trigger my mind into action. I need time to consider and write down my thoughts, without someone standing in front of me. I also prefer to be given time to own and speak my piece.Ā
I hopeā¦
ā¦we can grasp each otherās inherent strengths and weaknesses so well that no one ever feels held back and silenced.
ā¦I can āamplifyā others and move past feeling this great burden on my shoulders and insecurity in my heart.
ā¦I can guide my team-mates down whatever path they want and make sure they feel heard, acknowledged, and respected along the way.Ā
Endnote
My promotion was finalized last Friday, and people have been congratulating me all week. But Iāve been downplaying it and I even waited a whole WEEK to post about it publicly!
At first, I thought maybe I was maturing, but letās not kid anyone ā I love public recognition, and hell yeah, I earned this promotion.
However, I never work hard with the goal of being promoted. I donāt ever want my promotions and I have to be convinced itās the right step. I even have to lie to myself a little, honestly.
So Iām kinda glad I waited to write this post because this week forced me to deal with discomfort and hang-ups. I had experiences that forced me to put the lead hat on and think deeper about what I want to do with this hat.
I felt happiest this week when I told my boss straight up that I was going to hold a meeting with the specialists and not invite other leaders. And he assured me I was doing the right thing.
Product Ops isn't my team. Itās our team, and I never want to make decisions without considering the opinions and feelings of other specialists. That aināt my style.
