#privateeeee

Alexander,

You told me you didn't think I'd stick around, that you thought I'd leave you. I tried to tell you I wouldn't - promised you I wouldn't - because I won't and yet you still don't believe me. It hurts that you don't, but I get it, because I'm just as scared you'll leave me, too. I don't think I could handle it if you did.

I need you to know that you are everything I'll ever need and want, even if you don't think you are. I know...I know feelings and love and relationship's aren't your forte, but that's okay, because I know you love me and would do anything for me. And I'm not ready for a relationship, either, not after him. So you don't need to worry about that, you don't need to think that I want everything from you right away, you give me enough.

This thing - I don't know how to label it - between us is everything I want right now, you're everything I want and this is perfect. You're perfect, teddy. You  don't realise how amazing you are and it's frustrating, so I guess I know how you feel, because I really don't think I'm anything special. But you really are and I love you.

In the future, I think...I think I could really want this, to be everything with you and for you. I think I could handle being your sub and you my Dom - in a claim, as everything. In fact, I know I could...but I have a feeling that's not what you want, so I'll put it out of my mind. I'll stop thinking about it, because I want you however I can have you. And I am happy with how I have you. Just please don't leave because you think I deserve more.

I was going to let you read this...but I re-read it and decided against it. Talking about a claim is far too soon - or maybe it isn't, I don't know, we've been doing this for a while now - and I know it won't happen, so I will forget about it. You know everything you need to know about how I feel, anyway and that's all that matters.

I love you.