#private3

I have a boyfriend now. It still feels like a dream that is about to end suddenly, but being with Nicky is like walking on the clouds and I’m not scared about falling.  Everything about him is perfect, especially when he’s smiling or laughing or speaking or singing or breathing. This time, I can’t mess it up; not now, when we’re so close.

 Jay is being bullied really badly, and I feel so useless. It’s much worse than I’ve ever experienced, but I wish it could swap places with him, so Jase would never have to be scared of anyone.

I even tried talking to his bully, Ethan. A few days ago, I followed him after dinner and called out when he was alone. At first all I did was ask him questions, but he only got really angry. He pushed me a couple times, yelling, then he made a fist, so I tried to punch him first, but barely touched. I was so scared I’d really hurt someone. He hit my chest and stomach a couple times, before I tried again much harder. The bully stumbled and stopped for a minute, then left without saying anything else.

The worst part is that he went all out later, trashing Jason’s room and beating him up. I feel responsible for it. Not only that, but I lied to Nick when he asked about the fight too.