#pretensiousness

Ah, Tumblr. I have missed you. I mean, I know we still see each other, but it's not quite the same.

[Explain?

No, there's too much, let me sum up.]

I still seem to be employed here, much to my surprise. I'm back at uni now, studying to be a secondary English and history teacher. Assuming I can keep up this pace of study I'll be finished sometime in 2017. The plan then is to get a job, move, buy a cat, and teach students. We will see.

[INCONCEIVABLE.]

My health hasn't been great the past six, twelve, months. As a result I've put on weight and I'm not finding the experience pleasant. This does not feel like my sack of meat anymore, my clothes don't fit, I'm moving differently, I don't like it. This sort of weight gain over winter is usual for me but I feel like I've put on more than previously. I'm back at the gym doing gym type things and I'm easing back on the chocolate. Not cutting it out, but easing back. My body is already thanking me for it. Apparently now I'm in sight of 30 my body isn't so forgiving of entire days eating nothing but chocolate, chips, and lollies.

[Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.]

Curtesy of this weight gain my sex drive has taken a huge drive in the past six months. Earlier this year Jizz and I would be lucky to have sex once a month. I'm feeling more interested in sex now and we're having it more regularly but I still feel unattractive. I know Jizz doesn't find me as attractive when I'm fatter. 

[I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.

That does put a damper on our relationship.]

I'm making inquires to starting seeing a therapist. I haven't told anyone about that yet.

I'm not dating anyone else at the moment. Sure, there's a few people I've slept with a handful of times but I'm not actually opening up to them. People? Nah, I don't want people. Nope. No way. People are pain. People disappoint and wound. I want a cat.

[Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.]

I've been gaming and reading again, which is all part of my Master Plan to Look After Myself. Guild Wars 2 is fun but sometimes I feel the lack of commitment on my part; I'm playing Pokemon and getting excited for the new release in a bit less than a month; and I'm playing Mass Effect 1, which is a lot of fun. For all these games I need to put aside my need to get everything absoolutely perfect. I feel crippled in my choices, because how will I know what's right? How do I get it all flawless?

[Get used to disappointment.]