#present jonas

[Spoiler Alert]

The one scene I can't get over is the conversation between Jonas and his future self in the final episode. Both of them are in so much pain, for different reasons. Young Jonas is desperate for things to return to normal, even though he understands that means he will cease to exist. He feels alone in the knowledge of all the entangled relationships and misery of everyone in his town as a result of time travel. At this point, he genuinely believes everyone will be better off in a timeline where he never existed, and is willing to make that happen despite what it means for him.

When he realizes the mysterious stranger is himself from the future, a lot of thoughts cross his mind. When he learned that his grandmother (Ines) knew about the time travel all along yet let things happen anyway, he experienced crushing disappointment in her inaction. When he resolved to fix everything by bringing Mikkel back, he failed when he was kidnapped by Noah. Now he sees before him the one person who should understand all that he's been through and help him fix everything (seeing as that person is himself). Yet he is let down again when he realizes future Jonas no longer shares the same goal and will let young Jonas continue to experience all this "sick shit."

Furthermore, it's clear that he never succeeds in bringing Mikkel back if he exists as an older man. AND he is faced with the reality that he has some horrible trials and tribulations ahead of him, due to the appearance and concerning words of his future self (ie: "I have seen things no one should see"). Not to mention, he thinks he will lose his mind because his own future self chooses to allow terrible things to happen for some greater plan young Jonas doesn't understand or believe in. And that's likely a fear he already had, since he has struggled with depression and strange visions since the suicide of his father.

So all of this is overwhelming and terrifying for young Jonas. And despite having his future self right there on the other side of his prison door, he has never felt this truly alone and lost before.

Meanwhile, future Jonas is finally experiencing this life-changing conversation from the other side of the equation. And unlike young Jonas, he knows exactly what both people are feeling. Because he has experienced what young Jonas is going through already, he is more young Jonas than young Jonas is him. He knows just how Earth-shattering his revelations will be to this young boy. He knows the turbulence it will cause within young Jonas as he struggles with the knowledge of his failure, the supposed loss of his sanity, and the pain he will soon experience. And unlike young Jonas who can only speculate what his future holds, old Jonas knows exactly what horrible things his younger self will soon encounter. He knows exactly what all this fear, pain and isolation is like for the teen, yet understands that the teen cannot currently comprehend the depth of his own fear, pain and isolation.

And he has to choose to let this younger, more innocent version of himself experience all of it anyway. You can see the struggle yet simultaneous conviction on future Jonas' face as he ignores his younger self's quiet pleas to stop, and then closes the door on him.. sealing his fate. He knows his past self doesn't understand just yet, but believes in his heart that he is doing what needs to be done. That's the one thing that never changed in Jonas - the drive to do the right thing.