#prequelssuck

Machete Order Status as of December 16: Episode IV: Complete Episode V: Complete Episode II: Complete Episode III: Complete Episode VI: Pending

Reflections: Episode II was way worse than I remembered. Embarrassing to sit through. Oy vey. I’m hoping Family Guy can spoof the prequels, and in the future, instead of watching Episode II, watch the Family Guy version Instead.

But it dawned on me that the biggest issue of the prequels in my opinion, is not the script, not Hayden Christensen always looking like a total creeper and acting like, well, Hayden Christensen, it’s not Jar Jar Binks, but rather, its the lack of the Han Solo archetype. He provides so much relatability into the story line in the original trilogy that is sorely missing in the prequels.

Not everyone has the Force, but even us everyday people can be sarcastic, can be skeptical, can tease our own “Your Worshipfulness”, and all the meanwhile be right in the thick of things. He opens the door for us to stand alongside Luke on his epic quest in the original trilogy and makes the story line that much more investable.

The prequels, on the other hand, does not provide such a link. I’m forced to watch this story arc of non-relatable characters playing out in a overly convoluted political conspiracy than necessary, with characters with far too many bad 1-liners. It reduces the prequels, not to an engaging story of a fallen hero, but rather, to a technical demonstration of CG capabilities in the early aughts and a display of light saber choreography worthy of the Olympics.

Please, J.J. Abrams, nothing about the Trade Federation making a return…I feel like I need to dig up my copy of Anarchy, State, and Utopia from college. Maybe I’ll actually read it, this time around.

Needless to say, I’m looking forward to returning to the main story arc with RotJ. I have to say, the conceptual “extended flashback” has framed the two trilogies in a really different light for me, and the order certainly adds much more gravitas and color to the situation we find ourselves in (despite my criticisms), remembering that we have to wake up from this flashback dream and return to the downer that is, the end of Empire.

I’ll be curious to see how well the Machete Order works with J, who has never watched Star Wars before, prompting this endeavor to prep for The Force Awakens. She’s been a trooper, and I honestly thought she’d lose steam with Episode II.

But maybe that’s the true genius of the Machete Order; start with the two strongest movies so that the viewer is invested in the storyline, so invested that they can’t just quit after the endurance match that is Episode II.