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#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc tvl#sam reid#jacob anderson
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[Preop.]

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Officially on month 8 of a year long recovery ✨ I had a severe underbite that caused really bad TMJ issues, as well as nasal, bite, and speech issues. I wasn’t able to talk, laugh, or chew food for too long without having some type of pain in my jaw. I also had to avoid a lot of foods that also caused jaw pain when I ate them. It was also a big insecurity of mine to have such a long, protruding jaw that didn’t fit my face. Day 1 feels like forever ago. It was a struggle but it really was worth the ride because not only do I feel better physically but emotionally as well. Though this procedure was medical and not cosmetic, it fixed one of my biggest issues and insecurities and my confidence couldn’t be better. After over 10 years of waiting and saving up for this I’m glad it’s officially done and almost over. It definitely hasn’t been easy but I’m glad I made it this far 🥹🥰💖
tonight’s dinner is a shake and a veggie soup made with cauliflower, broccoli, spinach, carrot, onions, beef stock and an array of spices.
Feeling super anxious as I wait in preop for my biopsy. It’s been a tough week.
I'm no longer afraid of my chest. Trust me. Surgery isn't always the answer.

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PreT v. Today (1.5 Years) and still no Trans friends 😔
<3
Mr. Sleepy Cat and myself.
the truth of elias jasper
—————-
i am not sure
how to tell my father
that i am not his daughter.
can not fathom telling my sister that i am her big brother.
cannot demand to be called elias
cannot demand my place in this world.
cannot push out the words.
“i am not a girl.” out of my throat no matter how much i want too.
feels like bile.
trying to draw it uplike
pulling thread throw a needle.
keep my
strength
and pride
pocket sized
until it is useful.
like when i am writing my poems.
or when i am surrounded by other trans friends.
say that i will demand to be called the right name.
say that i am going to be myself. but i cannot.
cannot slam my fist on the table and scream that is not my FUCKING name.
unless it is in my dreams.
and how useful is an ode to the me i want to be
when i cannot stick to the promise i make him
how can i explain that after seventeen years of telling everyone that i love my curves
that i love my long hair
and big breasts.
that i would actually rather die than keep looking like this.
how do i tell my father
i am not his daughter
how do i tell my siblings that i am their brother.
how can i keep on living
in a body
that does not belong to me
living the background of the
girl they
want me
to be.