Although I barely remember the actual event itself I can regale this tale of a precocious five year old me as if I were watching it from the many times my mother has told it to my friends whilst trying to humiliate me. Little does she know, being the dramatic character that I am, that I actually revel in this story.

It was an ordinary school day, I was five years old and my mother had arrived at the school gates to pick me up. I have no doubt my mothers outfit was something hellish which disturbed the other mothers and PTA members. She once turned up in purple snakeskin trousers with matching top and a mass of hair that resembled Kate Bush. As she stood there chain smoking my head teacher ran out to the gates shouting my mothers name with an urgency that deeply worried my mother. She followed my head teacher inside and to her delight saw me putting on a most wonderful rendition of 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious' I was prancing and flailing upon a table with an audience. Very out of the character for the shy child who only performed such hits when undertaking the dusting at home with mother as we so often did.