James Hetfield (1994 post black album/ pre-load era) x fem!reader

Summary: Y/n catches James cheating on her in a bar on a girls night out, and he tries to beg her to come back.

Warnings: Smut MDNI 18+, unprotected sex, alcohol influenced sex, edging, teasing, fingering, oral (f receiving), slight angst.

A/N: I've had zero motivation to write and I was very much struggling to post which is why the fic probably looks terrible but this is all I could think of. Thank you @metallicames for giving me some ideas for the fic and motivating me to finish this ❤️ I'm struggling a lot to think of ideas, let alone translate them into my writing but thank you for being patient

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Loving James was easy but challenging for Y/n at the same time, scary even. He was always out with his band mates, drinking until he'd either throw up or pass out and he grew more and more distant by coming home late at night almost every night he went out. She's asked him less and less about where he has been or what he's been doing to the point where she doesn't ask him anymore due to the amount of times he's just ignored her or just gave her a lousy excuse to cover his tracks.

Most nights, he comes home smelling like Jäegermeister and cheap beer from the bar like an alcoholic ritual, the smell her senses have gotten used to smelling for years she's been with him. James hasn't exactly been the kindest guy to her too after he drinks a lot. As much as she loved the goofy side of him when he drinks, he would be loud and say things that should've offended her but she has gotten used to how he would speak to her or to the people around them. She's no angel herself since she goes to clubs and bars all the time with James or her friends and drinks when she goes out, but she never lets herself drink as much as James does.

Y/n and her friends have planned to go to the local bar that's closer to where she lives, traveling by taxi to their destination. "So where's James?" One of Y/n's friends ask her as one girl sits in the front and the other three (including herself) are squished in the back seats. "He said he was staying late at the studio again." Y/n replies in a tone that sounds like defeat but acceptance, knowing James probably is in fact staying late at night in the recording studio or is out drinking with the band again. Either way, she hates it when he's out and doesn't come home until 3am, maybe even longer. She's voiced her concerns to him more than actual conversations but it never seemed to have gotten through his head. Obviously.

"Girl, you need to be more stern with him. He's just going to keep walking all over you and sneak behind your back if you don't set some boundaries and stand up for yourself." Another friend comments as she sits to the left of her, knowing that her situation with James is getting worse and worse. "I've tried. Almost every time he's been coming home, I've tried talking to him but he just won't listen." Y/n replies, sighing softly and rubs her forehead as the stress builds up more and more. "He's taking advantage of you, Y/n. He thinks just because he's this 'big rockstar' that he can sneak behind your back. We all know that you love him more than anything, but it's time that you become more firm with him." The same girl replies as she tries to give her the confidence to finally stand up for herself.

"I guess you're right...." She murmurs. The taxi pulls into a taxi zone, the breaks squeaking to a stop as one of her friends pay and they all climb out of the cramped seats as they step into the busy sidewalk as they thank the driver. As all four ladies walk away from the taxi cab, their faces illuminate from the flickering lights outside of the bar, white blanketing their faces as they approach the entrance of the bar.

The door opens as Y/n pushes it with her hand, the glass door creaking slightly as it pushes itself open, music immediately hitting the ladies' ears as their heels clack on the concrete floors beneath them. As they walk into the facility, the smell of weed floods in from the corners of the bar, the scent of cigarette ashes as the patrons flick them into ash trays and all types of alcohol being poured from the beer taps stationed at the counters. The ladies find their way to the bartender, ordering their usual drinks as they scope out a table to sit at.

As time slowly drags away, the girls have been chatting and drinking; nothing out of the ordinary when they go out for drinks as they talk about their boyfriends and what they have been up to. Even going so far as to talk about their sex romantic lives which is also nothing out of the ordinary in terms of topics they talk about. They order another round of drinks before the bell on the door near the entrance rings, signaling that another customer is coming in. As Y/n looks up, her expression drops as she instantly recognizes the person who walks through the door. James.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." She says aloud as her eyes trail James walking up to the bar and ordering his usual, a jäegermeister. The other three girls immediately turn their heads to look in the same direction as her, their faces falling into either anger or disappointment; even a little bit of both. "That bastard lied to you again, Y/n." The friend with long blonde hair says, looking at her with sympathy. She sighs, fiddling with the cold glass in her hand as she tries to find words "I had a feeling he would, but i hoped it wasn't true." Y/n replies to her as she takes a sip from her glass. The other two give her sympathetic looks, the blonde friend keeping her eyes locked on James in a way that can only be described as the look that stares into him like daggers.

The situation then escalates as a woman in black heels and revealing black attire exits the bathroom, making her way up to James and sitting next to him; her thigh immediately pressing against his own as he takes a mouthful from the dark green bottle in his hand. Y/n sits back and watches, her eyes boring into both the woman and James as she sees that he's clearly flirting with her in more than just a friendly way. She's seen something like that before when she's been with him on tours, but he hasn't been sexually flirting with any girls since he's been with her although it seems that tonight is different.

As if her night could not get any worse, she sees James grab the woman's thigh and pulling her in for a kiss, their kissing driven by alcohol, arousal and betrayal. All four ladies watch in disgust and anger, but Y/n feels like James had just ripped her heart out of her chest and stomped on it over and over again. How long has he been doing this behind my back for? She wonders in her mind as she can't seem to tear her eyes away from the betrayal in front of her. "That fucking prick-" The blonde friend snarls as she stands and is about to charge at him like a rogue bull, but the other two hold her back as Y/n doesn't move; frozen like a statue in time.

The make out session between James and the woman lasts for another ten seconds before they pull away in a messy manner, James wiping her lipstick off from his lips as he speaks to her, the music too loud for the girls to hear him as he grabs her hand and begin to walk towards the bathroom. This was Y/n's chance to catch him in the act. She finally finds the strength to climb up from the bar stool and slips out in front of James, immediately stopping in front of them. James stops right in his tracks as he lets go of the woman's hand faster than his downpicking on his guitar, freezing and locking up in front of her and her friends.

"Y/n. Wha--" James blurts out as words fail to come from his lips. "Girls night. Like what i told you this morning before you left for 'band practice'." She replies, trying not to break down in front of him. James looks down as he rubs the back of his head, his fingers slotting through the locks of his mullet. "So who's this?" She asks as she points to the woman next to him. "She's uh...." James begins, Y/n cutting him off. "The girl you're cheating on me with." She states. He sighs, knowing he's been caught red handed. "Look, babe, I-" James gets cut off by her once more. "Save it." She orders, tears finally spilling from her blue eyes and running down her cheeks. "I'm done. Fuck you, James." Her voice cracks as she tells him her decision, shoving him out of the way as she heads into the direction of the exit.

"Y/n...." One of her friends speak up, but she ignores them as she exits the bar. "Fuck!" James says loudly as he slams down his beer bottle onto the nearest table and follows after, catching up almost instantly. "Babe, please." James pleads, walking quickly behind her. "Y/n, stop and fucking listen to me. Please!" He says louder as he grabs her shoulder and spins her around, causing her to smack his hand away when she finally stops unwillingly. "What do you want to say, huh? That you're sorry? It didn't mean anything? How long have you been seeing her behind my back, James. Don't you fucking lie to me." She asks, her voice getting louder but cracks slightly at the end.

He purses his lips, really not wanting to say but for the sake of everything, he needs to. "Two months..." He finally answers in a reluctant murmur, his eyes barely meeting hers from the amount of shame he feels. She scoffs, her voice becoming more and more broken and unable to hold the facade. "Two months...two months ago, you told me that Lars was pressuring you to stay longer at the studio for your new fucking album." She replies, anger beginning to overtake her voice. James looks down again, his eyes beginning to gloss over. She moves closer to him, another set of tears rolling down her cheeks as she finally asks one thing she's been needing to know this whole time. "There was no band practice after the normal time, was there?" Y/n asks in a low tone, her breathing becoming more apparent.

He finally looks into her eyes, his lips pulled into a shameful frown as he shakes his head slowly. "No." He admits whispers. Y/n's expression doesn't change but her heart races inside of her chest cavity, her heart thumping against her rib cage like a beaten drum. "She was the whole reason why you snuck behind my back....isn't she?" She asks, knowing the answer but she needs to hear it from the horse's mouth. He shakes his head at first as tears finally release the hold on his eyes, one rolling out of each of his eyes as they fall like they had confirmed her question. He nods reluctantly, looking into her hurtful eyes for only a second. "Yeah..." He confirms, his thumb and middle finger attempting to clear the tears threatening to fall from his icy blue eyes.

"We met at one of the local gigs and we talked and we just....one thing led to another." He admits in a low tone. "I told myself no at first that I shouldn't go back to the person i was before i met you, but I-I don't know what came over me." She huffs in a hurt way, unable to stop a couple of pained chuckles that come from her before she looks at him. "Don't come back to my place ever again. I'm throwing your shit onto my porch and you can come get them but don't ever contact me again." She states in a broken but firm tone as she looks at him one last time before finally letting herself walk away from him, like a weight has finally been lifted from her shoulders as the dread melts away but the heartbreak begins to set in.

"Y/n. Y/n...." James calls out, his own voice beginning to crack now as his body just stays planted where he is; his expression pained as his hands come up behind his head to cradle himself. He squeezes his eyes closed as tears finally begin to slip from his eyes, stopping himself from screaming out into the midnight air as he feels the heartbreak fill his chest as well as the shame, guilt and regret fills his head.

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Days turn into weeks turn into a couple of months after the break up, James has been drinking very heavily while trying not to go to the payphone to call Y/n and beg her to come back so the pain could just end. He has had many relationships and break ups before, but this one seems to hurt him more than any other break up he has had before; normally he would've just drank it off and play his guitar for a couple of hours and then moves on, but this time the pain is becoming more and more overbearing for him as the days drag out and the distance grows between them.

It's been no different for Y/n either. Normally she would be in the recording studio with James and the other guys as they work on their newest album, watching on as her boyfriend jammed, but now she finds herself sitting on her windowsill watching the heavy rain run her foggy window as if the raindrops are mocking her pain as it pours heavier and heavier by the second. She doodles in her little sketchbook but she can't think of anything to draw, the normally sketch-filled page now laying empty, missing her artistic touch before she flicks the book to the beginning as she browses what she drew the whole time while her and James were together. She truly sees how much his presence had triggered her artistic side, seeing how detailed and life-like her drawings were before they split, noticing how dull and simple her drawings had become. They were both lost without each other, losing touch with the hobbies they loved doing the most.

Night sneaks up on them both quicker than they expected, finding each other drinking heavily every night; Y/n drinking rum and coke, James drinking budweisers in attempts to drown their sorrows like a separated competition. She finds herself to be very much tipsy after her third glass of rum and coke, making her way to her desk to shakily sit her sketchbook down onto the wooden table before walking out of the house in a drunken wobbly manner. She shuffles her way to the nearest payphone, slotting in a quarter and twisting the dial on the telephone to enter James' number as she holds it to her ear.

After three rings and no answer, she grumbles and slurs as she presses the button to hang up. "Fuck it. 'M gonna do it." She slurs slightly as she hangs the telephone back up on its hook before slightly stumbling her way down the street, looking for James' house. After fifteen long minutes of walking, she finally makes it to his house a few blocks away and knocks on the front door, her knocks uneven and messy. James sits up slowly on the couch before approaching the door, pulling it open to be met with his tipsy ex.

His tipsyness subsides a little as he sees her, holding onto the dark brown bottle in his hand like it's his lifeline. "Y/n?" He asks in a surprised tone, his words also coming out a little bit slurred but not as bad as hers. "That's my name." She replies as she stumbles a little into the door, kicking off her shoes just to be 'respectful'. "What're y--" He's met with Y/n crashing her lips onto his, his eyes widening slightly as she pulls away.

"....What was that?" He asks, surprised but pleasantly surprised. She leans on the doorway of the living room, her hand resting on her hipbone. "You know, you're a fucking asshole, but i don't give a single shit right now. I got two options for ya. We either fuck, or I pass out on your floor." She replies, her words still very slightly slurred. Although he's just as tipsy as her, it's like the alcohol temporarily wears off as his eyes widen from the ultimatum.

He stays that way for a moment before he smiles widely, wiping the alcohol off his lips and mustache as he tilts his head slightly in intrigue. He knows exactly what he's gonna choose. "Yes ma'am." He says in the signature drunken cocky tone. "C'mere." He drawls, his voice becoming more deep and seductive as he suddenly lifts her up by her thighs and carries her to his room, kicking the door closed.

As soon as they hit the bed, they're all over each other with fits of laughs and kisses as they kiss deeply and quickly, their tongues meeting almost immediately in a messy manner as they practically tear each other's clothes off. As soon as their clothes are strewn all over the bedroom floor, James kisses down her neck; working his way down her chest. He gives her breasts some kisses before he reaches up and cups one of her breasts, his thumb circling her nipple. Her head tilts back as she lets her little noises out, echoing into his ears as he works down to her thighs; causing her to open her legs.

"Barely five minutes in you're already fucking soaked." He rumbles as he presses kisses along her inner thigh, moving torturously slow down closer to her womanhood. He moves down between her open thighs, finally reaching where she wanted him to and licking a stripe between her folds before kissing where he just licked. She jolts from the warm contact, her hands finding his mullet and holding onto the longer bits as she tilts her head back and lets out a moan of pleasure, her slender fingers gripping his hair like a lifeline. He groans from the sudden hair tug as he ears her out like he has ever eaten before, one of his hands splaying onto her stomach and pushing her back down so her arched back stays on the mattress.

"Don't move." He commands as he keeps eating her out. His tongue swirls around her needy hole as he brings one of his hands up and his thumb rests on her clit, finding the nub and rubbing it in quick circles. Her hands come from his hair and onto the bed, clutching the sheets like a lifeline as her gasps turn into moans. He hoists her legs over his shoulders as his groans vibrate against her pussy, giving him a deeper angle to eat her out from this new position.

A few seconds later, and he pulls away from her pussy; her juices covering his beard as he takes his hand and wipes it off with a grin on his face after he rests her legs back down onto the bed. Y/n bites her lower lip, her hand sliding down his chest, then his hip, inching closer to his ever so hard cock. As soon as her fingers brush against the base of his cock, he pulls her hand away to tease her. "Ah ah ah. No touching tonight." He says as his hands slide up and down her sides, making jer groan in mild frustration from not being able to touch him. "Come onnnn." She whines, still very much tipsy from the amount of drinks she's had, but she doesn't fight back against James' grip.

"Good girl." James purrs in his deep seductive voice as he pins her hand to the bed before lining his cock up to her entrance before slamming into her with a loud groan tearing from his throat. She moans loudly as she feels him fill her up instantly and deliciously, gripping the cotton bed sheets underneath her as he begins to fuck her relentlessly. He hoists her legs up onto his shoulders once again, his hips smacking against hers loudly in the confined room; the sound bouncing off the walls like a filthy rhythm.

He leans down between her legs and kisses her roughly, his tongue sliding into her mouth as they make out intensely. James' hand comes up to her throat, his thick fingers wrapping firmly but gently around her neck; his thumb gliding up and down as far as it can stretch as he fucks her just the way she likes it. He closes his eyes and clenches his teeth as he tries to remain in control, his hips moving a steady rhythm to keep up the pace. His orgasm hits him faster than usual, letting out a long guttural moan. Y/n finishes right after him, also letting out a long moan as he collapses beside her with his eyes closed.

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The next morning, Y/n wakes up first; hungover and disoriented from the high amount of alcohol consumption she had drank the night before. As she slowly comes to her senses, she realizes whose bed she's laying in and also seeing both James' and her clothes discarded all over the bedroom, realizing what they had done last night. "Oh shit...." She whispers to herself as she looks around, seeing James passed out beside her and still butt naked.

I gotta get outta here she thinks to herself as she slowly begins to climb out of bed, silently sliding her now wrinkled clothes back on in a silent hurry. When she's almost done getting dressed, she hears James beginning to stir. She freezes in place, stuck on what to do. "Y/n?" James mumbles as he's leaning on his forearm, rubbing his awoken eyes, causing her to quickly grab the rest of her belongings and head towards the front door. "Y/n, wait!" James calls out as he jumps out of bed and slides on his discarded boxers, rushing to follow her even though the hungover feeling have made them both wobbly and sick to their stomach.

As soon as Y/n makes it out of the front door, James speeds up and gets in front of her, stopping her by putting his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, stop...please." He begs to which she pushes his hands off her shoulders. He immediately puts his hands up before they swing down to his sides. "Look, Y/n. I know last night seems like a mistake to you, but I am so so sorry about what happened months ago." He remarks, his eyes locked on hers. "You're damn right it was a mistake. I want nothing to do with you and your cheating ass." She informs him. He would be lying if he thought that didn't hurt to hear.