#prayforfsu

We don’t know who you are. In fact, we will never know who you are. You are different each and every day. We live through the massacre at Columbine High School and we think we know the type of person you are. But then a different type of person sends us through hell at Virginia Tech. And even still, you remain unidentified. The shooter at Strozier Library at Florida State University at 12:30 AM on November 20, 2014 was different. Yes, after examination, he was apparently as mentally incompetent as anyone who has held a gun to innocent people, but he was different. I’d like to think so, anyway. He was our very own alum. A fellow Seminole.

But it doesn’t matter. Everything that could have made me look at him, or you, in a compassionate way was shot to hell and back, literally. People defend you. They say you were just mentally unstable. They say you just needed help. I’m sorry, I can’t accept that.

When you make the choice to attack me and my peers, I will get angry. I will go to the ends of the earth to ensure that not only are my friends okay, but to ensure you are brought to the justice you deserve. The strozier shooter? He got what he deserved when he fell in a crumpled mass in front of the building, riddled with bullet holes, courtesy of the brave men and women of the FSU Police Department.

You will never go away, though, will you? No matter what gun laws are enacted, you’ll get your gun. You’re a criminal; a low life piece of scum. You won’t listen to laws. You buy your guns from someone’s trunk of their 1980 sedan and go on to wreak havoc throughout our nation and our world. But every time you do, we get stronger. Today, I looked into the eyes of my peers, and I saw worry. But I also saw resilience. I saw courage. I saw compassion. I fought back tears at the entire vigil because I knew that no matter what happens, I will always have 40,000 peers that have my back.

I don’t know what you want. We will never know your goals. Do you want to take away our peace of mind? Do you want to make us suffer the way you did if you were bullied as a child? It doesn’t matter. If you keep coming at us, we will come back at you. We don’t give up. We are Seminoles, we are strong.

You may take away our peace of mind. You may drive fear into us. But you will never take away the compassion we have for one another. Universities from across the nation supported us as well. You will never take away the love that we have for one another.

Sincerely,

It's almost been 24 hours since the shooting occurred and I still can't focus my mind on anything else. I do not have anyone close to me personally effected, but this is my school, my university, my fellow peers and colleagues. In a strong way, we are all impacted by this, no matter how close in proximity or relationally, this happened. I was on campus across a lawn, hall, and street away from Strozier Library. I was with friends at my campus ministry and ended up spending the night there. Just another reason to add onto why I am thankful for the FSU Wesley Foundation.

Tonight, I found out a good friend of mine lost her best friend in a car accident where we are both from and she is feeling very lost and broken tonight. Similar to the family of the troubled gunman. And the families of those who were injured during the shooting. I ask that we all lift up those who are hurting in our prayers for the coming days. 

These tragedies and losses make me think of my own and ultimately put me into a weird state of feeling everything and nothing, all at once. It almost is a trigger for me. It puts me right back to the moment my mother told me my dad had passed away, the moment my step-father and a couple members of my church family told me and my 4 year old brother our mom had passed away, the moment when I was told about my friend from high school who died in a car accident just 4 days before his birthday, the moment my step-dad told me my uncle committed suicide. 

This world is broken and when things happen that reminds us of that, I pray that the reaction to these tragedies remind us tenfold that God is bigger than EVERYTHING we could ever endure. That the hope and comfort we offer each other is bigger than the brokenness. I also encourage those who think this is God's way of showing us something or punishing us, please please please, don't think that. This is a reflection of the demons that this world and people face. This is the brokenness of the world. God, without a shadow of a doubt, will be in this moment and will work good out of it. (Romans 8:28) But God did not cause this. God loves us so much. God loves you and want you to feel safe in Christ's embrace. God has been here during this whole time and knows what you're feeling. You are not alone. 

November 20th, 2014
My thoughts and prayers are with the victims, families and the Community of the senseless tragedy at #FSUshooting in the campus library today. 
#PrayForFSU #weareFSU
@CNN: http://t.co/yOqlIgohUh 
@ndn #FloridaStateUniversity students gathered to pray… http://t.co/AFon9I5IzO | http://t.co/dXPE6knpwV #FSUstrong #USA

As I looked down the barrel of the gun

A million thoughts raced through my mind, what had I done?

His cold, malignant eyes

Shimmering with quite a surprise,

They held pity, anger, and one emotion I couldn't point a finger to

With a quick grimace and a flick of his wrist, I knew my time was due

Instant searing pain, radiating through every fiber of my body

Then he turned around a shot up a few more, like it was his hobby

As I crumbled to the ground a few thoughts rang in my head

I wish I could tell my mother that I loved her, and that I was dead

I wish I could have graduated, made a life for myself

I know I had issues and that I should've gotten help

But what choices determine what fate that we meet?

How much we love? How much we hate? Our greatest feats? 

God gave us free will in the hopes that we can choose our own destiny

But when hands turn greedy and everything is left to chance,

The only thing we're truly apart of is karma's bittersweet dance

All this was running through my head as it hit the pavement

Simultaneously, I woke up, thank the Lord it was just a dream I had,

I went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face,

But I glanced in the mirror to see that my reflection had been replaced

For I was looking in to the same cold eyes as the man of his destiny

Hearing the words coming out of his mouth and mine simultaneously,

It could have been you, it could have been anyone

So forgive yourself, forgive your loved ones of the things they've done

For this life is short and you only get this one.