#ppv review

I was going to write this last night but I was far too pissed about the ending of the Rollins v Fiend match to do so.

Pre-show:

Lacy Evans v Natalia : This is the 8th time these two have met and yet tonight on Raw they will meet yet again in a Last Woman Standing match. Evans gets better each match but is still green. The match was ok. Overall Grade: C -

Main Show:

Lynch v Banks in a HIAC: This was the best match by far in the entire PPV hands down. Both women tried new things that have no been seen before, the chair being held up by kendo sticks was a new one. The creative spots were awesome and rather enjoyable. I disagree with the ending of having Lynch beat Banks though. Why bring Sasha back if you going to have her lose twice to Lynch, where does she go from here. Overall grade A- 

Roman/Bryan v Harper/Rowan: A good old fashioned Tornado Tag match that had a lot of action in and out of the ring. The good guys won in an enjoyable match. Overall Grade: B+

Ali v Orton: A typical Orton match. The move Ali made to get out of the RKO was amazing and something I have never seen before. Ali put up a good fight but once again Orton wins. Overall Grade: C+

Bliss/Cross v Kabuki Warriors: This is for the womens tag titles which the WWE seem to forget they have. Good match, Kari Sane’s high stepping finger poke on Cross cracked me up to no end but it seems the Kabuki warriors have turned heel..for no reason that anyone knows. The Green Mist spot by Askua was amazing and a throwback to Tajiri. I popped for that I have to say. A decent match. Overall Grade B -

Chad Gable v King Corbin: Decent match, Gable was on tonight and won with the most amazing devastating finisher in the WWE today...the roll up pin. Overall Grade C -

True Story: we were at a house show the day before SummerSlam. And amid the riotous din of "Cena Sucks", a small boy turned tearful eyes to the rest of our row and wailed plaintively: "No, he doesn't!" I thought of that small boy as John Cena took to the ramp Sunday evening (that new blue shirt is much easier on the eyes than some previous choices). And I thought of him again later as I reflected back on a performance from the Face who Runs the Place that was...good. Cena did good. He didn't suck.

Truly, John Cena was solid on Sunday. He didn't grandstand, he didn't oversell to the point of sarcasm, and he put himself to work collaborating with Seth Rollins and Brock Lesnar to create a dynamo of a match that really kept me guessing. John Cena's never going to not be a monolith in the company -- there's no backpedaling from that. So when John Cena finds an opportunity to look bruised, bewildered, and unnerved by an opponent, it's a refreshing and compelling change. There were shades of the Wyatt battles, another controversial program that showed some of Cena's best storytelling.

Brock Lesnar, likewise, is fascinating and terrifying to watch. All you see is impending disaster, but you can't look away -- he's the human equivalent of hurricane doppler. And despite some criticisms of him as a disengaged part-timer, he never resorts to the jokey swagger a man of his stature could easily fall back on. He swallowed finisher after finisher in true immortal fashion, but every time he did hit the floor he sold the heck out of it. His stretcher job was rather convincing, as they go, and he'll provide an excellent blockade at Wrestlemania 31, whether it's for Roman Reigns or a surprise interloper.

And Seth Rollins. What else can be said? He doesn't have a dependable PPV performance repertoire under his belt yet, so there's always an unknown when he gets in the ring for a committed match. It was great to see Rollins back to a really athletic style after months of squirrelly evasion and DQs. I caught my breath every time he went airborne -- he flies like a man 50lbs lighter, and that Phoenix Splash on Cena was a work of art.

This was pro work on the part of all three men. Three highly different characters, with vastly distinct sizes and styles, came together to offer one of the best ensemble performances we've seen in some time.

We thought the perfect inaugural post for Sunny Side of the Ring would be one regarding the outcome of the Royal Rumble. After all, it's the start of Wrestlemania season as well as the first major PPV of the year. Makes sense, right? Despite a lot of grumblings coming out of the PPV, we're going to put our best spinnaroonie on it because that is the entire purpose of this blog, and dammit, we will not fail.

First off, we want to send congratulations to Roman Reigns for winning the big Royal Rumble match itself. Regardless of less than stellar booking, the crowd being upset, and bleeding profusely from the mouth, Reigns did his best to perform as well as he could have, and he looked great the entire time, even with the bloodied mouth. He may not have been everyone's favorite to win, but that isn't important. Roman Reigns wanted to win the Royal Rumble, and that's exactly what he did.

For the main event itself, I screamed and jumped up and down like an idiot when the #3 entry appeared in the form of personal long-time favorite Bully Ray Dudley. He's just outstanding, and honestly, WWE needs to get on bringing him and D-Von back to the WWE fold to spice up their Tag Team Division. Seeing him fight Luke Harper, however brief, was a dream match for me; if only it had gone on longer. Of course, the addition of Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan (stealing the spot of poor Curtis Axel, another of my favorites) and having them all face each other was nothing short of excellent, albeit, again, too briefly.

The main event started to get muddied after that, but all of the wrestlers put on good shows. I was genuinely surprised by the showcase Fandango seemed to get, but I think he was definitely able to show off that aggression we've seen since he returned. And who didn't love seeing Zack Ryder return and give Bray Wyatt a little trouble for a minute? Although I would've loved to have seen Randy Orton and Bo Dallas make surprise returns, I'm still pleased we got to see Diamond Dallas Page put in a good showing, and the nightmare of the Boogeyman meeting Bray Wyatt in the ring (more, please!) was totally unexpected. And yes, I did scream in simultaneously horror and joy.

The late parts of the main event were probably the most mind-boggling of the entire show, but when I saw Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns meet heads to charge into what could've been certain death against giants Kane and Big Show, my heart thumped with pure love. I will never stop adoring the Shield, and anytime those two in particular are together and show their brotherhood, that will make me a happy fan for just that moment.

Okay, enough about the main event. Let's not neglect the other matches from the PPV...

Kofi Kingston/Big E vs Cesaro/Tyson Kidd: These guys are capable of a lot, and this match showed it, despite being a little on the slow side. It warmed my heart to hear everyone cheering for Cesaro, who is the best wrestler in WWE, in my opinion. I cheered when Cesaro/Tyson Kidd pulled out the win.

The Ascension vs New Age Outlaws: Billy Gunn looked badass, and Roaddogg should be a manager ala Jimmy Hart with how great he is on the mic. The Ascension won, however, so let's hope that means they're going to be given a better shot in the future.

The Usos vs The Miz/Damien Mizdow: Damien Mizdow got to do a lot more than he usually does, and that was a good thing. It was a good match, even if we've seen it a lot lately. And if you've seen those, you know the Usos won.

The Bella Twins vs Natalya/Paige: The ladies got more time than a lot of the Divas matches usually do, so I was pleased about that. Special kudos to Nikki Bella for improving so much in the ring in the past few months. She looked strong and fierce, as a champion should. The Bellas scored a nice victory there.

Brock Lesnar vs John Cena vs Seth Rollins for the WWE WHC: This was, by far, match of the night. Everyone put in outstanding performances and put on a truly thrilling show. Hard hits, spine-jarring suplexes, and amazing acrobatics really drove this match. Seth Rollins stole the show, in my opinion, with his death-defying aerial stunt that crushed Brock Lesnar through the much-abused Spanish announce table, but Lesnar managed to pull himself out of the wreckage to retain his championship belt. Hella kudos to all of these men for that classic match.

Although many people were angry and felt cheated by the Royal Rumble PPV, there's no need to feel so badly about what happened or didn't happen. The aftermath is coming, and it's still anybody's game.

This is gonna be awfully long, since this is the biggest Rumble in history.

> Video package to begin the show, as usual.

> Edge (c) def. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) to retain the World Heavyweight Championship

> Kelly Kelly comes out to beat up Vickie Guerrero. Ref bump. Edge spears Ziggler.

> Edge pins Dolph after a Killswitch

WTF is Kelly doing here?

Don't tell me they're building up to Kelly vs. Vickie at Mania?

On second thought, let them have a match. I could use a good piss break during those four hours.

Awesome work from Ziggler and Edge. Too bad Dolph has to crawl back to the midcard.

Killswitch. Marked out.

> The Miz (c) (w/ Alex Riley) def. Randy Orton to retain the WWE Championship

> Headlocks.

> Miz taps out to an Orton headlock The Straight Edge Society came out.

> Miz pins Orton after a GTS from Punk.

> Michael Cole marked out like a bitch.

LOLCole

So this will lead to SES vs. Centon at Wrestlemania?

> Email alert. Raw GM announces a Fatal 4 Way.

> Eve def. Natalya (c), Layla and Michelle McCool to win the WWE Divas Championship

> Eve pins Layla after a moonsault. The ref didn't see McCool pinning Natalya.

Didn't care.

> Alberto Del Rio wins the 40-man Royal Rumble match

> #1: CM Punk. The Corre attacks Punk like a pack of feral dogs. SES comes out and both groups brawl in the ring. Email alert. SES & Corre will go backstage, or they will be disqualified.

> #2: Daniel Fucking Bryan

FUCK YEAH DANIELSON VS. PUNK

> #3: Justin Gabriel. Bryan eliminates Gabriel.

> #4: Zack Ryder. Bryan eliminates Ryder.

> #5: William Fucking Regal

FUCK YEAH DANIELSON VS. REGAL

> #6: Ted DiBiase. DiBiase eliminates Regal

> #7: John Morrison. Morrison almost got eliminated, but leaps to the barricade, and to the steel steps.

FUCKING AWESOME

Too bad JoMo entered too early. He would've won.

> #8: Yoshi Tatsu. #9: Husky Harris

> #10: Chavo Guerrero. Chavo pays tribute to Eddie during the match.

Nice try Chavo, but Rey already did that before.

> #11: Mark Henry. Henry eliminates Yoshi

> #12: JTG. #13: Michael McGillicutty.

> McGillicutty eliminates JTG. Nexus eliminates DiBiase.

> #14: Chris Masters. #15: David Otunga. SES eliminates Bryan, Masters, JoMo and Henry.

> #16: Tyler "X-Factor" Reks. #17: Vladimir Kozlov. #18:R-Truth. Thanks for coming.

> #19: Khali. Khali eliminates Husky.

BOO

Fuck this.

KHALI SUX

> #20: Mason "Baby Batista" Ryan. Batista eliminates Khali.

> #21: Booker T. Booker was able to take out SES temporarily but Batista eliminated him.

CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?

ALL HAIL KING BOOKER

Was looking forward to a Booker T vs. Sheamus confrontation in the Rumble. Black King vs. Extremely White King. Too bad it didn't happen.

> #22: John Cena. Superman strikes again and eliminates Batista, Otunga and McGillicutty.

John Cena is on a KILLING SPREE

John Cena just got a TRIPLE KILL

Cenatards: LET'S GO CENA Me: CENA SUCKS

> #23: Hornswoggle. Swoggle steals Punk's taunts. Cena eliminates Punk

John Cena is DOMINATING

BOO

Fuck this. PUNK GOT ELIMINATED?

At least it came from Cena. I'd punch my monitor if Swoggle eliminated Punk.

I thought Darren Young's in? He should have got this spot.

All goes downhill from here, until Santino got eliminated.

> #24: Tyson Kidd. Kidd takes AAs from Cena and Hornswoggle. Cena eliminates Kidd

> #25: Heath Slater. Cena eliminates Wendy.

> #26: Kofi Kingston. #27: Jack Swagger. #28: King Sheamus.

> Swoggle gives Sheamus an ineffective Sweet Chin Music. Sheamus eliminates Hornswoggle.

FINALLY, SOME CLASS IN THIS RUMBLE

> #29: Rey Mysterio. Rey eliminates Swagger.

> #30: Wade Barrett. #31: Dolph Ziggler. #32: Kevin Fucking Nash.

FUCK YEAH DIESEL

TNA INVADES WWE. 

> #33: Drew McIntyre. #34: Alex Riley. Miz sits next to Cole on the announce table. Wade Barrett eliminates Nash. #35: Big Show. Show eliminates Ziggler.

> #36: Ezekiel Jackson. #37: Santino Marella. Marella goes under the bottom rope.

> #38: Alberto Del Rio, driving a 2008 Bentley. Ricardo Rodriguez introduces him.

> Kingston & Cena eliminate Riley, Big Show eliminates McIntyre. Zeke eliminates Show.

> #39: Randy Orton. Orton eliminates Kofi. Orton eliminates Sheamus.

No sign of Hunter. Yay.

No sign of Christian. Boo.

> #40: Kane. Kane eliminates Zeke. Rey eliminates Kane. Barrett eliminates Rey.

> Riley comes back to distract Cena. Miz eliminates Cena, and runs off to the back.

> Orton eliminates Barrett. Del Rio from behind, eliminates Orton.

AAAAAALLLLLLLLLBBBBBEEEEEERRRRRTTTTTTTTTOOOOO DEL RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Marking out. Oh wait.

SHIT

OH FUCK IT'S SANTINO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> Santino hits Del Rio with a Cobra. Santino tries to eliminate Del Rio

> Del Rio eliminates Santino (Last Elimination)

> Rodriguez marks out like a bitch and goes crazy on the mic.

VIVA DEL RIO

Santino almost winning the rumble got me pretty nervous. Only one thing got me glued to my seat and not going crazy: Faith. Mason Ryan couldn't have said it any better.

This seems like a good sign for Christian. Let him win his first world title at Elimination Chamber, then let Del Rio face him at Wrestlemania.

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Plus points for Edge/Ziggler and Del Rio winning

Minus points for Swoggle in the Rumble match