#ppurple

If you're a lover, you should know

The lonely moments just get lonelier

The longer you're in love,

Doodles for @lavenderrpurr

My name is Bird, something happened, or someone happened to me 35 days ago. It’s over I just need to know what the hell was going on in this situation, did I get played or was it something else. I need an outsider’s opinion….. So it all started at the beginning of spring, I was 18 at this time, and I was taking a gap year. I had a boyfriend that I was living with in Washington State, but we didn’t work out, so I ended back home in Texas. Then I got a job as a camp counselor in Kentucky, I left home once again, and that’s when I met her. She was my manager I’m going to call her Red, I remember looking at her for the first time, and I was smitten like a kitten. But Red had a long-distance “girlfriend” (her lover came to visit the first two weeks I worked there.), so for the first two months, we barely spoke. I always heard her rant about her “girlfriend” issues to my other co-workers, it made rather uncomfortable honestly…. Then one night a massive storm broke out, we had to send the children to their bunkhouses without dinner. And coincidentally, it was only Red and me working that night. So we had to bring snacks for the children from the kitchen, and we got to talking. I shared with her that my friends were pressuring me to call my ex-girlfriend, and when I told her this, she looked surprised.(She didn’t know I was bi) Then she started smiling like an idiot; then she asked me if called my ex or not. We continued to talk once we got in the van, then the next morning she didn’t talk to me. It was like it never happened, then when lunchtime rolled around. She was talking to my other co-workers, I was out of it because I was thinking about the other night. Then I looked at her to see her staring at me, and then I turned away because I’m shy. Then another day passes, and it’s the end of the work day. She’s in her car, and I’m outside waiting for a delivery I noticed her sitting in her car watching me. And once again I turned away feeling shy, then we all went a work camping trip for scouting. At one point I was just standing in the sun, and she was standing there watching me and then I just walked away. For the rest of the trip, we don’t speak much or at all, then when my team was driving back. I was “sleeping” when I opened my eyes to see her watching me through the rearview mirror and then she quickly stopped after we made eye contact (That time I didn’t turn away). Then Monday happened, her and girlfriend broke up…. I know because she was telling all of us about it, then she went away on a business trip to Canada for two weeks. I didn’t think I was going to be able to see her again because that was just a seasonal job for me and time was running out. Then she came back, and I didn’t want to see her because something happened to me at work and I knew she was going have to talk to me about it. (It was professional, not personal.) I heard that she was going on another business trip for a week, so I thought I wasn’t going to see her. But I was wrong; Forgot to mention that I lived on site and so I was down in the basement doing my laundry. That’s when I saw her, coming out of the laundry room. She gave me a major fright I screamed tremendously; she did as well. Then we went our separate ways, then the next day and once again I didn’t think I was going to see her because she had to do paperwork for all her business trips and then she was going to leave again. I was in charge of the kitchen set up that morning, and she came down to my surprise. She said, “ Good Morning Bird.” I nodded at her and then she said, “Sorry, I scared you last night Bird. The reason I was in the basement was that I was trying to get a sleeping bag for my next trip. You scared me too.” She was smiling the entire time; then she went back up to the office. She tried to play it off like I wasn’t the reason she came down from the office and after spoke to me she left. (I told myself it was nothing to be excited over.) Then we ran into each other again, and I said, “Sorry, for scaring you.” She replied, “It wasn’t your fault, I just felt bad because I didn’t say anything.” About an hour later I ran into her again, and I tripped on air, but of course, she’s standing over me. Giving me this look, and I said. “Don’t look at me like that Red.” I said in mocking way; then she replied sarcastically “Like what?” I said, “Like what’s her problem.” Then we both laughed, and she said: “See ya later.” To my surprise she came back earlier than she was supposed to, I didn’t get to see her the night she came though. Then the next day we were doing inventory, and I was separate from everyone else because I had to do the art room (because I’m an art teacher), everyone else was in the same room doing inventory together. After I had finished, I went to see how everyone else was doing; she was the only one in the chamber now. I said, “How’s everyone doing?” “Good, we’re just closing up shop.” She said while looking down then added. “And how are you doing?” then I said “Good!” Then still looking down she smiled widely and laughed then I left. Then the next night, I was all alone in the apartment I was singing and dancing. Then that’s when I see Red, a girl I didn’t know and my co-work who’s her best friend. When I saw them I freaked the hell out; I fell and then when I realized who those people were I felt embarrassed and tried to hide behind a chair. Then when I got up, I started to smile, and I just wanted to go into my room. But Red wasn’t going to let that happen; she said: “Are you good?” I said, “Yeah,” then she replied with, “You sure?” she was saying this in a very mocking and teasing kind of way. When I came out of my room, they were just leaving, and my co-worker asked me,”What are you doing.” Before I could answer, Red said, “Singing?” yet again teasing the crap out of me. Then shortly after that, they left, then came back later with even more friends. This time I was laying on the couch, they showed their friends around the apartment. Then they turned their attention to me before anything was said, Red and I had the moment where we just looked at each other and neither us looked away, then Red asked me. “What are you doing for rest of the night.” She said, “ Watching makeup videos.” I said, “What kind of makeup videos are you watching?” I explained to her what I was looking at, even though I’m pretty sure she didn’t know what the hell I was talking about after that they left. Then the two days later, she didn’t acknowledge me and then we had this weird moment. I was going to lay on the couch in the lounge area at work, then I saw her coming out of the office, and when I looked at her she stopped dead in her tracks then she tried to hide behind the door while still not taking her eyes off of me. Then I just rolled my eyes and laid down because I was annoyed that she was ignoring me that day. Then I told my best friend about it; she said, “You should try to talk to her tomorrow. Because the reason she’s not talking to you is that you’re not talking to her.” So I took my besties advice the next morning, I said to Red “Good morning” then I smiled at her, and she smiled back. Then when me and my co - workers were eating breakfast, she was giving me a strange look like ”What’s her deal?” Then when I was cleaning up breakfast, (I’m in charge of breakfast set up). She joined me in the back of the kitchen and saw me dumping out all of the food. And she said “Gross” the reason I’m bringing this up is because I say “gross” a lot, so she was mocking me she even tried to imitate my voice. Then we both laughed, and after that, she left. Then around lunchtime, I saw her coming out of the office, and I said, “Hi Red!” She just waved at me and gave me a small smile then started talking to someone else. After she had finished her conversation, she turned to me and just smiled at me. Didn’t say anything, then she went back into the office. Then lunch happened, and I heard her talking about how she had a crush on someone, and I knew she wasn’t talking about me because I knew who she was talking about. When I heard her say that, it hurt like a bitch I was so shocked. Then a little later, I was in the kitchen with one of my male friends I’m going to call him Rich. I was making fun of something he said when I saw Red staring at us and we made eye contact for little while then I turned away. So later that day, I was doing inventory with my team when Red came down to see how we were doing. I don’t know if it was just me or what, but it was so awkward between us. I was trying to be nice to her, but it seemed as if she couldn’t look at me. We gathered in a circle and began talking, one of my friends started to tell a story about him and me working together. She looked at me, then quickly turned away afterward and began to frown. So after work was finished, Rich and I were talking I ended up blurting out that I had crush on Red. He looked crushed because me and him were very close and we almost did everything together, but I didn’t realize that he had those feelings for me until that moment. Which made me even more upset, because when I’m hurt the last thing I wanna do is hurt someone else. Then a couple of days passed, I tried to avoid her at all costs because I didn’t want to see her after everything. Then when I return to work, I checked her Instagram that’s when I see her, and her girlfriend was back together. I cried like a baby after saw that, then she starts to act friendly with me again. Like a moment when she was friendly, she came down for breakfast, our eyes met at the same time, and we both didn’t look away until someone else called for her attention. Then she came over to me and said “Good Morning, Bird.” Also, she would start a conversation with me. So I got to thinking that maybe it was all in my head, that she never really liked me in the first place and she just wanted to be friends. I start to return the friendly behavior as much as I could, even though most of the time we wouldn’t acknowledge each other. Like we would both be in the same room, but we wouldn’t look at each other or talk to each other. When she thought I wasn’t looking she would look at me, and then when she wasn’t looking I would look at her. Also, we would have these moments, such as once I was sitting in lounge area and I saw her trip. I smiled at her and said, “Hey Red” she didn’t say it back but kept looking at me with wide eyes and while frowning while still walking. Or when she introduced me to others she did the big eyes and frowning face every time, and there after all this that I caught her staring at me a couple of occasions. Then the last night of spring happened me, and my co-workers decided to go out to a bar because it was the end, and I was sad to be leaving. Red wasn’t there which I was happy about, because I didn’t want to see her. Then at 11 o’clock that night, she shows up with her girlfriend. She introduced her to me, I started to feel very awkward but I tried my hardest not to show it. Even though I’m pretty sure I did, we began to play a card game where the cards said things about people we had to match it to someone in the group. The whole night everyone was picking me on, Red was paying attention when she first arrived she asked, “Why is everyone picking on Bird?” I was the most chosen for the cards, and she kept asking me questions about what they were saying. Then there was card that read, “When you’ve fallen so hard for a fuckboy, life alert can’t even save you.” One of my friends points to me and says, “You.” Referring my ex-boyfriend because I told her how he was trying to contact me. When she did this I just nodded, then I looked over at Red and she looked surprised. Her eyes were wide and she kinda just leaned forward, then little while after that her girlfriend left. We all stayed continued to have lots of fun, we didn’t acknowledge each other that much. At one point I was trying to push pass her because she was in my way, and when I did so she said, “What? You’re leaving?” I replied, “I’m just trying to walk pass you.” Then I walked away… so a little bit later, one my friends says him and Rich are leaving then asked if I wanted to come with them. Red was dancing on a table, the two boys said their goodbyes to her, and she didn’t look at me, but she jumped down. Then she said, “Just in case I don’t see you when Sunday.” Then I opened my arms because I didn’t know what else to do. She hugged me long and tight to the point where I was thinking when is she gonna let me go then she said, “It’s been pleasure working with you Bird.” All my other bosses said that to me too, so it was nothing special, so I took that as my cue to let her go. When I tried to one of her arms squeezed me tighter and then with her other hand, she gripped around my waist tightly. Then she whispered “Let us know if you need anything,” once again what my other bosses said to me, but they weren’t so close that I could feel their breath on my neck and ear. It was too much for me she had to stop touching me, so I took a step back and pushed her away. It was tough because I had to force myself out of her arms because she had a firm and vigorous grip on me. She looked hurt, I put my hands on her arms and said, “It was pleasure working with you too.” It was hard to get the words out seeing as she was giving me sad puppy eyes the entire time, then I took my hands off of her and walked away left her standing there. I didn’t look back and that’s the last time I saw her… So after you’ve just read all of this what do you think was going in this situation? Do you think she led me on or was not persistent enough I just need to know. Or was all in my head?

Sorry, it’s too long…

#Red #eyeshadow #purple

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Hi, Bird! Wow, this sounds like a bit of torture worrying over someone’s interest level and intentions. Looking back, what would you have done differently? I know you’re shy and this might sound hard to do, but it might actually be easier in the long run to approach someone and ask if they are in a relationship or plan on repairing things with an ex. Depending on the answer, state your feelings. For example, “I’d be next in line if you’re interested.” Smile! Be confident. And walk away if there is awkwardness or silence. That person may just need a bit of time to think about the idea if they haven’t already. If they’re interested you will see clearer signs after that. If you cannot say that, make your flirting more obvious and see how someone responds. I think you two did not really get to know each other or have any dee talks or special alone time to move either of you toward considering a relationship. And, that’s my honest opinion.

It sounds like Red is a very confident person. Her outgoingness makes it a little more difficult to read and the changes in mood and levels of friendliness are even tougher. So, in my opinion, not wonder you’re confused. It’s best to observe and see if she treats you any different than she does others. Also, there’s the option of having a friend ask her about how she feels. You found out she wanted yuo to talk but that could still mean as friends. When there’s a lot of inconsistency, it’s hard to tell. Is she reacting to your actions, torn within herself because she is still emotional over her girlfriend, or, as you said, it was just intentions to be friends.

In the meantime, I know some time has passed since this happened, but it seems, freinds or more, you could feel comfortable texting her, “Hey-how school for you? I miss summer!” At the very least, she did show in her goodbye that she was was glad to have you there. Check out our homepage and click on the Navigation link to our pages. There’s some good material about how to know if someone likes you and healing from heartache.

Good luck, Bird!  

Tracey

Hey Bird,

Honestly? I don’t think you were played. I think there was a lot of misunderstandings between the two of you and it just didn’t work out the way you had hoped it would. I can’t say for certain whether or not she returned your feelings. From what you described, perhaps she did have a small crush on you. Maybe she did start to like you but since she didn’t know if you returned those feelings she may have started acting cold because of it. Similar to how you started avoiding her to prevent your feelings from being hurt when you thought she didn’t like you. Alternatively, she could’ve been a very friendly person and she wasn’t sure how to read you. A lot of times when we find someone interesting, we tend to look at them a lot and maybe it sparked some curiosity because you two may have clicked fairly well during that summer camp. So that may have explained why she was looking at you for a long time. There is honestly no definite way of telling whether or not she truly had feelings for you. We can observe all the signs we want to but sometimes people are just friendly in a way that it can be perceived as romantic attraction. 

Personally, I think she may have had a small crush on you. But like all crushes, unless someone makes the first move, you’re both left wondering if the other person feels the same way and often times one or both of you will decide that the other doesn’t and attempt to move on. Feelings are hurt and she gets back with her ex. Regardless, I don’t think you can change what happened. I think what you can do now is to move on. Don’t dwell on what could’ve been. It sucks and it hurts but I promise it will be okay. Don’t blame her or blame yourself. It was a missed chance. The next time you see each other, try and create a friendship with each other. If you feel that the attraction is still there between the two of you, perhaps it may be worth the shot to take a risk.

Always by your side,

Tallest Purple and Dib discuss the fate of Earth.