Jessica is at a recording booth when suddenly the door opens and a blur of arms and legs jumps at her.

"Aunt Jay! Aunt Jay!", Pip's voice nearly deafens her.  He's so excited to see her.  She feels guilty.  She'd promised to visit last month but her schedule wouldn't allow her.

"Missed me, Pip?"

"Of course I did!"

He's holding onto her shoulders while she's picked him up from the floor.  Just like when he was a toddler.  She makes no move to put him down on the floor.  She misses this.  She misses Pip.  And she would hug him until there was no tomorrow.

Pip is almost four years old now. A little boy with unlimited energy apparently, judging by the way he attacked her with a hug.

She notes that he has his father's eyes, everything else is his mother's.  When she first looked at him, she had not known/accepted that he was Phillip's son.  But when he opened his eyes, she was sure.

Pip has grown quiet so she seats him in her chair and looks at him.  He has a serious expression on his face.  He is thinking hard. He might be his mother's son, but his expressions are all Phillip's.  It's very endearing.  Jessica can't help but smile at his facial expressions.

"What's up, Pip?", she asks.

"Aunt Jay... Does dad sing?"

The unexpected question hangs in the air before Jessica blinks and the shocked expression on her face vanishes.  

"Of course he does.  He's got a great voice."

"I have never heard him sing, Aunt Jay...", he mumbles sadly.  He's not looking at her, his eyes are partially covered by his wavy brown hair.

"Hey, cheer up Pip.  I bet he'll sing for you if you asked him to."

"But I did ask him!", he exclaims with all the petulance of a young boy. He even stamps his little foot.

Jessica can see that this has really upset Pip.  She wonders why Phillip never sang for his son.  She doesn't want Pip deprived of his father's legacy so she makes a compromise.

Jessica places her hand on Pip's shoulder.

"Pip, listen to me.", she says while wiping the tears off of his face with her other hand.

"How about I sing something your dad sang when he was on American Idol?"

Pip slowly stops crying, only a few sniffles here and there.

"What's American Idol?", he asks her.

Jessica hesitates.  She's not sure why Phillip has never told his son about American Idol.  Does he want to forget it?  Forget the months they spent hanging out? Those were good memories.  She had thought of those few months as special.  Especially the last couple of weeks when there were only a few of them left.

She hadn't known Phillip before then.  Phillip was this tall, mysterious, older guy and she didn't hang out with him much before her almost elimination.  They only interacted when there were others with them.  When they had the chance to talk to each other, it was just mumbled 'hellos', 'good luck', 'great song'.

She remembers the time when her fellow finalists had asked her what she thought of the guys in the Final 13.  When they asked her what she thought of Phillip, she'd subconsciously mimicked one of his facial expressions because that was what had stuck on her mind the last time she saw Phillip. Phillip was trolling Ryan Seacrest, as usual.  He had stood behind Ryan and made this funny face while Ryan was talking to the other contestants seriously.  She had found it funny. Phillip was a weird guy, sometimes very silent, other times, goofing around.  Phillip was cute too, but her friends had seen her make a face and mistaken assumed it as her answer.

"Jay thinks Phillip is 'ugh'"

"What?!?", she asks in disbelief.

"You made a face."

"What face?"

"A weird face, you know..."

"Wait, it kinda reminds me of someone..."

Before they could continue their dissection of her facial expression, Mr. Jimmy had knocked on the door to call their attention.  They were to practice their songs.  And that was the end of that, or so she had thought.  But then someone had told Phillip.

~~~~~~

Author's Note: I am sorry for the long wait.  I wrote this on my phone and I forgot about it because my phone got broken and the PhilJess fever died when the American Idol tour ended.  There were no more fics, no more photos, nothing which I could look to for inspiration. :(

Anyway, I managed to download this from my phone (when it cooperated with me) and this has been lying in my hard drive for the past months (I forgot all about it, I know).

*Beginning of a flashback

**End of a flashback

  ---

  “He did something stupid, I just know it,” Heejun declared as a matter-of-factly as Phillip entered the bus. He was seated beside Colton at the mini sofa eating chocolates. They are still waiting for the other male finalists who are still goofing around at the studio after the Meet and Greet.

  Colton threw Heejun a thoughtful gaze and brought his attention back to Phillip. Based on Phillip’s forlorn posture, Heejun is once again correct— Phillip did something stupid. Again.

  Colton knew Phillip had talked to Deandre awhile ago and he did not ask why. Honestly, Colton doesn’t want to see Deandre right now, but since it is inevitable, he just resorted to ignoring the love of Jessica’s life, and it’s working for him. But now, Colton thinks he’s channeling Heejun’s mind and is curious as to what has happened.

  “Okay, chicken,” Heejun said, voicing out what Colton was about to say. Heejun’s mouth usually works faster than his brain. “Spill it. What did you do again?” he asked; this time, irritation is very evident in his voice.

  Phillip ignored him and went straight to their mini kitchen. Colton and Heejun followed him with their gazes as he poured himself a cup of cold water. They watched as Phillip drank everything on the glass and replaced it on the counter.

  After a few seconds of stoned silence, Phillip still isn’t talking talking. Heejun rolled his eyes, sighed, then stood up to follow Phillip into the kitchen with Colton right behind him. Phillip is gazing outside the bus window again.

  “Cat got your tongue?” Heejun asked impatiently. And when Phillip didn’t answer him, Heejun shook his head and started bugging his best friend for the answers. Phillip should have known him by know. He wouldn’t stop until he gets some answers. And right now, Heejun thinks he already knows what is making Phillip act this way.

  “You talked to Jess,” Heejun guessed as he leaned sideways towards the wall, facing his best friend, gazing at him with accusation. Colton waited for Phillip’s affirmation, but didn’t dare hope. After all, Phillip was known to be one stubborn guy. If he doesn’t want to talk, he wouldn’t talk. No one can make him talk.

  So much to both their surprise, Phillip had affirmed Heejun’s statement—he nodded. It was a small nod, but Colton and Heejun saw it nonetheless. They waited for him to elaborate, but Phillip said nothing.

  Heejun’s suspicions grew. He narrowed his eyes at him. “I’ll guess what happened then,” he said, his voice now surprisingly edgy, which made Colton look at him. Heejun’s cheeks are turning puffy now, as if he’s trying not to lose control. Colton looked from Heejun to Phillip.

  “You talked to Jess and decided to fight for her again,” Heejun continued, his voice low and dangerous, which is something very rare for him. “And then suddenly, here comes your idiotic side revealing itself again and you managed to mess it all up. You, Phillip Phillips, once again broke Jessica’s heart,” he declared. “Am I right or am I right?”

  There was anger in Heejun’s voice that clearly surprised Phillip, which finally made him turn around to face his best friend. Sure enough, Heejun’s going red in the face; a rare sight to see. Heejun getting red in the face means he’s really angry. Colton finally decided to place himself between his two friends.

  “Okay, guys,” Colton intervened. “Let’s sit down and talk about this. We---”

  “You were given a chance, Phillip Phillips, lots of them.” Heejun said, cutting Colton’s words. He had said the words softly, but Phillip can still detect the anger in his voice. “And you keep messing it up. I am your best friend and you know I’m always here for you, but Jessica’s a very nice girl and she doesn’t deserve what you’re doing to her.”

  “Heejun, I--” Phillip started to say, but Heejun motioned for him to stop. He was shaking his head.

  “I know what you’ll say and I’m tired of hearing them,” Heejun said in a would-be-calm voice. “Just make up your mind, man. She isn’t a toy. Stop messing with her heart and her mind.” He walked straight to Phillip until they were nose to nose. This time, Colton was pulling at Heejun’s collar, but Heejun didn’t budge from his place. He looked at Phillip straight in the eyes.

  “Remember this Phillip Phillips, if you won’t fight for her, I will.” Heejun said, his voice deadly. Phillip wasn’t able to say anything. It’s the first time he’s seen Heejun this serious and this angry.

  Sensing that Phillip won’t say anything, Heejun shrugged Colton’s hold on him and got off the bus without another word.

  Phillip sighed, sadness and grief evident on his handsome face. He slowly turned around to face Colton.

  Phillip noticed his other friend isn’t looking at him. He was clenching and unclenching his fists while looking at the floor that Phillip was sure Colton will hit him. After all, he knows how much Colton sacrificed for Jessica to be happy with him, but just like what Heejun said, he’s an idiot. He messed up his chances. And he deserves it if Colton hits him.

  But Colton did not. Colton merely averted his gaze off the floor to look at him straight in the eyes. Phillip can see the anger there, but he knows now that Colton won’t hit him.

  “Don’t say anything, Phillip,” Colton said, his voice surprisingly lighter than Phillip expected. “Heejun already said what I want to say. And he’s right. Aren’t you tired of the same thing happening? You deciding to fight for her and then breaking her heart right after? It’s not what’s supposed to happen. I didn’t… let her go for that,” he added quietly.

  Phillip did not say anything. But he avoided Colton’s gaze.

  “If you aren’t tired of the same old cycle, don’t forget she can get tired of it,” Colton continued, his voice dead serious. “And if that happens, she isn’t the one who will lose everything and you know it.”

  With those last words, he left Phillip alone.

  ----

  Besty calling…

  Jessica cancelled the call. She mechanically lay back down on her bunk and closed her eyes, hoping to sleep and forget about everything that just happened.

  Jessica has been ignoring her best friend’s call for the past thirty minutes. He knows Dre is worried, but she just doesn’t have the energy to tell him everything right now.

  She feels numb. When Phillip had left her awhile ago, all she did was cry until her heart stopped bleeding. She thought the pain will go away when there are no more tears left to shed.

  And she’s wrong. Jessica felt emptier. She felt lost. She felt incomplete. Phillip is the only man she has ever given her heart completely and he keeps causing her pain. Worst thing is, she still loves him very much.

  Sometimes Jessica is wondering if she’ll ever love somebody as much as she loves Phillip. Because the intensity of her feelings for him is incomparable. It’s too strong.

  The sound of footsteps and voices disturbed Jessica’s thoughts and she was thankful for the interruption. Still, she pretended to be asleep when the other girls arrived at the bus. Right now, she doesn’t need their accusing and judgmental stairs. Right now, whom she needs are her friends.

  She felt the bus moving. Jessica heard Hollie saying they’ll be having a movie marathon, which means they will all be at the mini living room of the bus. All of them.

  Jessica sighed a relief as she heard their voices leave the area of the bunks. She opened her eyes and stared at the bunk ceiling for quite a long time. She only budged from her position when she felt her cellphone beeped continuously.

  Three messages.

  The first one is from her mom. She was so worried for Jessica. Jessica smiled and typed a reply back to her mother.

  Am okay, Mom. : )  I just fell asleep. Am so sorry. Hope you are already sleeping and not worrying over me.

  The second message was from Deandre’s cellphone. But it wasn’t from Deandre. And Jessica almost laughed at the content. Almost. She doesn’t know if she has the heart to laugh anymore.

  Hey, fellow Asian. How are you? I hacked noodle boy’s phone, but at least he knows. He’s currently eating Korean noodles with me at the bus. The thing is, he couldn’t decide which is his hair and which is the noodle so he’s still staring. Wahahahaha. I’m so funny I laughed at my own joke. How are you?

  Jessica sighed. Of course Heejun knows what happened. Phillip tells him everything.  She keyed in a generic reply.

  Am fine. Talk to you tom, fellow Asian. Good night! Say hi to Dre too. Love you both. :)

  The third message was from her Skinny Mini Buddy, which stopped Jessica’s heart. Colton is finally talking to her!

  Her hands were shaking as she opened the message.

  I wish I didn’t let you go for him. You would have been happy with me. I wish I had the heart to be selfish. Too bad I don’t have because I wanted to see you happy. I know what happened, Skinny Mini. I’m here for you. I love you always.

  And it was when she finally broke down again.

  ----

  “Jess?” It was Hollie’s voice. Jessica forgot the girls were already on the bus and can hear her cry. She immediately wiped the tears from her cheeks and tried to stifle her sobs just as Hollie opened her bunk curtain.

  And she isn’t alone. Erika, Skylar, and Elise are with her, concern on their faces. Jessica tried to smile and just say she’s okay. But as soon as she opened her mouth, she started crying.

  The girls immediately helped her stand up from her bunk and led her to the living room. Hollie fetched her a glass of water and sat beside her holding her hand as Jessica drank.

  They were quiet for a few moments as they let Jessica’s cries subside.

  “Thanks, Hollie,” Jessica said softly after a few minutes. Hollie smiled a little at her as she squeezed the hand she was still holding. Jessica looked at the faces of her friends one by one. They were smiling at her, but they were averting her gaze. It was when she noticed her absence.

  “Where’s--- Phillip’s fiancée?” Jessica asked, her voice struggling to remain calm. She saw her friends look at each other before Skylar cleared her throat.

  “Uh… Baby Girl,” she started saying. “That’s what we want to talk to you about.”

  Jessica looked surprised for a moment, but she easily recovered and threw a curious look at Skylar. Skylar nodded and looked at Elise. Elise sighed and looked at Jessica straight in the eyes.

  “Baby girl…” Elise began, her voice trembling a little. Jessica can see she is nervous, so she smiled at Elise. Elise took a deep breath and nodded before saying: “We… we are so so so sorry.”

  This time, Jessica’s mouth fell open. The girls saying sorry to her was the last thing on her mind.

  “W-what?” she asked again just in case she misheard Elise.  But Elise went to her and held her other hand, which Hollie isn’t holding.

  “We are so sorry for treating you that way in the last few days,” Elise said sincerely. “We were bitches to you. We knew we hurt you. We didn’t mean all of them, Jessica. We did that not because we hate you, but because we were caught off guard and do not have an idea how to react.”

  Erika, who was leaning at the wall nodded in agreement. “It’s just that we knew you and Phillip love each other so much. And then suddenly, there you go announcing to the whole world that Deandre is your boyfriend. We were so hurt for Phillip. He looked like his world crumbled down.”

  “And not only that, Jess,” Skylar added. “We were hurt you didn’t tell us about Deandre. We were all caught off guard too we really didn’t know how to react. Honestly, we didn’t expect you and Dre to be… well… a couple.”

  “And we all thought you did that as a revenge to Phillip and we didn’t peg you as the revenge type of girl,” said Hollie, sadness and guilt evident on her voice.

  Jessica sighed. She didn’t know her friends felt and thought that way. All she thought was that they abandoned her. She didn’t even think her actions might have hurt them.

  “I’m sorry,” Jessica said softly. “I didn’t know you felt that way. I am so sorry for not telling you about Deandre and me. It’s just that it was---”

  “It was a publicity stunt,” Skylar declared, smile on her lips as she saw the surprised look on Jessica’s face. “We know, Jessica. Deandre isn’t the type to really keep quiet you know. And you can trust us. We won’t tell anyone.”

  Jessica let out a huge breath of relief. “I know you won’t. I’m so sorry it has to be this way. We needed to do that because of the publicity… his fiancée caused.”

  “We understand now, Jess. In fact it’s the reason why the WBE is not here,” Hollie said, which put a small smile on the other girls’ faces.

  “We heard her badmouthing you, Baby Girl,” Elise admitted. “The mother in me who really loves you to death even though she was hurt, couldn’t take it. I had to confront her.”

  “Mama Elise put her in her place, Baby Girl,” Erika said while laughing. “And she’s too afraid to be here with us so she requested for a transfer.”

  “Is she in… the guy’s bus?” Jessica asked meekly. It was Hollie who answered her.

  “Nope,” she said while shaking her head. “Well she requested to be with PP, her love, but of course the management didn’t agree. Why would she be there?”

  “So… so where is she now?” Jessica asked again, relief evident in her voice.

  “She’s with her mummy and daddy,” Skylar answered. “We heard her call her parents and in just a few hours, they were there to the rescue. They’re bringing her home. After all, in just a few days, we’ll be in Georgia.”

  Jessica’s heart stopped at the mention of Phillip’s hometown. It might have shown on her face that the girls looked at her with concern.

  Elise sat beside her. “We won’t let her hurt you there. And Phillip won’t. We’ll be there for you. This time, we promise we won’t leave you.”

  Jessica’s eyes automatically watered at the sincerity she heard from Elise’s voice. She missed her friends and she isn’t one to hold grudges.

  “So… you forgive us?” Erika asked with hesitation in her voice. “We’re really sorry, Jessica.”

  Jessica smiled and nodded, tears finally flowing from her eyes again. “I don’t care about what happened anymore, guys. I’m just glad to have my sisters back.”

  Her last words put a smile on everyone’s faces. And when Elise shouted “group hug”, everyone obliged. Jessica decided then and there that she will be honest to her family and tell them what made her cry before they form their own theories. But just as she was released from the hug and was about to open her mouth, Hollie stopped her.

   “We know it’s about Phillip,” Hollie said. “You only cry because of Phillip.” And there was a murmur of yes around. “But if you’re not yet ready to tell us why, it’s okay. We just want you to know we’re here, okay? We’ll never leave you again just like what Mama Elise said.”

  Jessica smiled and nodded as she felt the other girls hug her again.  Yes, Phillip might have hurt her, but at least she got her family back. She can survive this.

  ----

  *Call it woman’s instinct. Jessica had the feeling that Phillip isn’t there to cuddle her especially when Phillip didn’t move any closer to Jessica even after he said those words which touched Jessica’s heart.

  She wasn’t able to stop herself and blurted out what her heart wants to know.

  “Why does this make me nervous? Why do I feel this is not a hello, but…. a goodbye?” Jessica asked, her tone indicating she’s joking. But deep inside, she feels differently. Please prove me wrong… Please…

  Phillip didn’t answer her. He just looked at her with an obvious pain in his face that she knew his sudden visit isn’t going to end up nicely for both of them.

  Jessica remained quiet as she waited for Phillip to say more. It’s so painful to look at him but not hold him. She wanted so badly to cross the remaining distance between the two of them, but she controlled herself and kept still.

  Phillip leaned his back towards the side of the bus. Jessica heard him sigh after a few more seconds of strained silence and it was her cue that he’ll start talking. She tried to relax, but her nerves wouldn’t cooperate. Her heart is beating as if she’s been running a mile per minute.

  “Your boyfriend got angry at me, you know,” he said, smiling a little, which brought a small ache inside Jessica’s heart. She missed his smile. The one she just noticed was small, but it is a smile nevertheless. His smile and that’s what’s important to her.

  “He still agreed to send you a message for me though,” Phillip said. “He even, though grudgingly, agreed to let you see me. He’s such a generous boyfriend,” he said, laughing a little.  

  “And he’s quite scary when he’s angry,” Phillip admitted. “You’d think I threatened to kidnap you when all I did was ask him if I can talk to you.”

  Jessica smiled at that. Deandre can really be quite protective of her. He is very much like her real brothers.

  “He confessed everything, you know,” Phillip said suddenly, which elicited a small gasp of surprise from Jessica. Phillip briefly glanced at her and nodded. “Yes, he did… and why didn’t you tell me?”

  His voice revealed the hurt he might have felt and Jessica suddenly didn’t know how to answer him.

  “We’re so complicated, Jessica,” Phillip muttered while shaking his head. “Will we ever stop being complicated?” he asked, desperation in his voice. “The moment I decided to admit to myself how I feel about you, I know I signed up for complications. I thought we can make it, Jess, but it seems fate is not on our side.” He sounded defeated.

  Jessica’s heart beat faster.

  Then Phillip turned to look at her. And without him saying anything, Jessica already knows. His next words confirmed it.

  Phillip is going to break her heart again.

  “‘Us’ was never meant to happen. And it kills me… But… I just have to accept it.’

  And just like that, Jessica felt her heart crush to pieces once again. She felt the tears go down her cheeks like drops of a rain.

  Jessica closed her eyes, trying to numb the pain. And for a briefest of moments, she felt a soft featherlike touch on her lips.

  She cried harder.

  **When she opened her eyes, he was gone.

  ---

  “I’m going to kill Phillip,” Deandre whispered, careful not to let the others hear him. It’s already late, but he and Heejun are still awake, eating a midnight snack of Korean noodles. “Only you, man, is keeping me from going right there on his bunk and tearing every face hair off his face.”

  Heejun shook his head. “I already told him off, man. And Colton probably gave him a piece of his mind awhile ago and you know how Colton feels about him. No need to bother yourself.”

  Deandre pouted and blew a hair off his face. “I had to lie, you know Heehee. Mrs. Sanchez had pestered me nonstop awhile ago. She wanted to be sure that her daughter really was okay. I had to say Yes. Why do you think she didn’t bother checking on her? Anyway, I’m 17 years old and my soul is already burning in hell,” he whined. “I’m such a liar.”

  “Don’t be so dramatic, Deandre,” Heejun said, scolding him. “If Mrs. Sanchez knew about the truth, it will make things worse. Because we have to admit that Jessica’s head over heels in love with my idiot of a best friend and vice versa. They will be more miserable if there will be more people involved in keeping them apart.”

  Deandre scoffed. “Your best friend is doing a very good job of keeping them apart, you know. He doesn’t need any help.”

  Heejun looked at Deandre and tugged hard at a curl.

  “Ouch! What was that for?”

  Heejun glared at him. “You had a fault in this, you numpty! Why did you agree to become Jessica’s boyfriend? We all know it will make things more complicated.”

  Deandre had the grace to look guilty. “They forced me and it’s all for Jay, Heejun. Jay is my best friend. I’ll do anything for her. Anything.”

  Heejun narrowed his eyes at him. “You sure you are not in love with Jessica?”

  Deandre shook his head. “Nope. At least not that way. But I wish I really am, you know. So I can spare her the hurt she’s feeling.”

  “So the kisses and the hugs really mean nothing?” Heejun asked suspiciously, his eyes narrowing by the minute if that’s even possible.

  Deandre shook his head. “They mean nothing, yes. Jay and I, we’re just so comfortable with each other already. Did you know we share the same gum sometimes?”

  Heejun cringed. “Yuck! PP had kissed her so it’s like PP had kissed you too! Yuck, Brackensick. That’s just sick! You didn’t have to say that.”

  Deandre sighed. “I know. But I just want you to get my point. Jessica and I exchanging saliva is common. The kisses mean nothing but friendship.”

  Heejun looked at her once more and Deandre couldn’t help but feel he is doing an X-Ray of him. But after a few uncomfortable stares from the resident comedian of the Idol Family, Heejun finally declared he believes Deandre.

  “You know, Dre,” Heejun said after a few seconds of comfortable silence. “We have to teach PP a lesson.”

  Deandre frowned. “But PP already knows, man. He knows. I can’t just keep on pretending when he knows what’s up.”

  “Yeah,” Heejun said while pouting at Deandre. “Why did you have to admit it to him again?”

  “Phillip is intimidating, man,” Deandre admitted. “I just had to say it. He’s like my father. I mean have you seen his face when he’s serious?”

  “You’re an idiot, but I understand,” Heejun said thoughtfully. “And because of that, I just have to rely on my own magnificent skills to teach my best friend a lesson,” he said softly as if he was thinking out loud.

  “And how will you do that?” Deandre asked curiously. Heejun shook his head, which made Deandre frown.

  “Why are you not telling me?”he asked, complaint in his voice.

  “Just keep your role-playing with Jessica, okay?” Heejun said, ignoring Deandre’s whines. “No 50 Shades of Grey type of role-playing though, okay?”

  “What’s 50 Shades of Grey?” Deandre asked innocently, which made Heejun shake his head.

  “You’re still a minor. Nevermind.”

  ----

  Heejun is driving him crazy. Phillip had just come off Twitter and saw another photo of Heejun with his Jessica. Yes, another one. Heejun’s tweets lately seemed to be about his Jessica all of a sudden.

  My Jessica? Phillip asked himself. I think you don’t have the right to call her yours, buddy. You just gave up that right a few days ago.

  Phillip had managed to avoid the love of his life in the past few days. His TV appearances and radio interviews had helped him. His PR team seemed to have booked him every TV guestings they can find and he barely has time to even breathe. For the past few days, Phillip was able to ignore the pang in his heart.

  And finally, when he had the time to be sociable again, this is what he finds (both on Heejun’s tweets and in real life): Heejun with Deandre and Jessica; Heejun with Jessica; Heejun with Deandre and Jessica; Heejun with Jessica.

  Yes. Heejun is driving him crazy.  Phillip doesn’t know what is going on in his best friend’s mine. Heejun’s brain is complicated that most of the time he just gives up in trying to cope with its complexity.

  The only thing which somehow pacified him at the moment is Deandre’s admission. Phillip isn’t threatened anymore by Jessica’s best friend especially after he confessed everything. But still he couldn’t help but be jealous of him because he can be with Jessica without any complication. Every touch, every smile, every giggle that is not meant for him kills him inside.

  And it’s your fault.  He reminded himself. Again.

  Phillip sighed as he fixed his hair for the last time in front of the mirror.  He still has a few more minutes left before he is needed at the hotel lobby for a photo op with the other Idols. And he is planning to use every minute of it just to prolong his agony.  Photo op means being with her again. It is inevitable because they are always paired. And it is agony for him because he badly wants to be with her, but he can’t. Unless he choose to be honest about everything and confess his love for her in front of the press.

  He wouldn’t live long enough to enjoy the feeling of finally being with Jessica because his Head Publicist will kill him if he does just that.

  Taking one last look at his appearance, he picked up his cellphone and went out of the room thinking about nothing other than what he will do if he was able to touch her again.

  ----

  Phillip arrived last. Everyone was already in their positions. His eyes automatically looked for Heejun first. His best friend was looking at him and he was giving Phillip his usual enigmatic smile. Phillip shook his head as he approached him.

  “What’s up, man?” Phillip asked, patting Heejun on the shoulders.

  Heejun smirked and pointed his lips towards his right. Phillip followed his lead and looked into the direction of his best friend’s exaggerated pointy lips. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Deandre getting quite touchy with Jessica. Deandre was sitting at the sofa with Jessica on her lap.

  Phillip saw red.

  ‘You’ll die soon, you know. You just gave up your life.’ Heejun whispered in a casual tone to his best friend’s ears. “And Deandre seemed to be taking this boyfriend thing too seriously.”

  Phillip looked at his best friend and narrowed his eyes at him. “Don’t push me, Han. I am not in the mood.”

  Heejun just shrugged. “Fine. I’ll go bother someone else. You are no fun anymore, Phillip Phillips!”

  Phillip followed Heejun with his eyes as his best friend went to Colton. 

  Colton, as usual, looked at Heejun suspiciously. Phillip couldn’t blame the guy. There is nothing innocent about Heejun. He always has something inside that mind of his.

  Heejun sat down beside Colton. And much to everyone’s amusement had laid his head on Colton’s shoulders, which made the latter jump from his seat.

  ‘I think I’m in love with you, Colton. Let’s get married and have adorable mini me’s.’ Heejun said, which made everyone crack into fits of laughter. Colton looked like he was about to get sick, but in the end just rolled his eyes.

  “Stop it, Heejun,” he said. “Phillip’s getting jealous.” A remark which bought everyone’s attention to Phillip, including Jessica’s and Deandre’s.

  Phillip caught Jessica’s eyes and she averted her gaze from him as she casually stood up from Deandre’s lap. She was red in the face. Phillip felt a little satisfaction that she seemed embarrassed by her action.

  Heejun’s voice brought Phillip’s attention back to him.

  “I don’t care, Colt,” Heejun declared. “I don’t want Phillip anymore; he’s so complicated. I’d rather have you and we can live happily ever after.”

  Again, everyone laughed, which made Phillip sigh a relief. He went to sit between his two friends as the others got ready for the shoot.

  He frowned as he caught sight of Deandre and Jessica again. She wasn’t on his lap anymore, but they are still holding hands.

  Deandre is going to be his problem.

  ----

  Deandre wasn’t Phillip’s problem during the shoot. Heejun was.

  Phillip does not know whether to be happy or to be angry at what Heejun is doing.

  He kept flirting with Jessica. He kept playing with her hair; holding her hands; touching the back of her neck; putting an arm around her shoulders; and even pretending to kiss her.

  Phillip kept asking the heavens whether it is wrong to kill one’s own best friend.

  The director of the photoshoot didn’t pair Phillip with Jessica. In fact, he was nowhere near her. It’s as if the staff knew what had happened and they are avoiding any conflict so they never put the two of them near each other.

  Phillip was at the other end of the group photo. Eight persons away from Jessica.

  And Heejun was beside Jessica.

  It was during break when Phillip had the chance to talk to his best friend. Phillip was sitting at one of the cushion chairs when Heejun went to sit beside him.

  “You traitor,” Phillip muttered just as Heejun sat down. “I can’t believe I am jealous of my own best friend. You of all people. You. I must be getting crazy. Why are you doing this to me?” he asked, frustration on his voice.

  Heejun’s brows lifted at the sudden outburst from Phillip, but then he smiled innocently. “It’s what you won’t do, right? You wouldn’t fight for her, remember. So because she is Asian, I’d fight for her.”

  Phillip didn’t have an answer to that. Heejun smiled.

  “It’s so easy to fall in love with Jay, you know,” Heejun said casually, as if it isn’t a big deal. Phillip flinched at his confession, but didn’t say anything.

  “She’s pretty, she’s funny, she’s cute, she’s innocent…” then he looked at Phillip before continuing with his statement. “… and when she falls in love, it’s genuine.”

  “Stop torturing me, Han,” Phillip muttered while gritting his teeth. “Don’t you think I know all of those?”

  Heejun shook his head. “You may know them, Phillip, but you don’t appreciate them.”

  Phillip didn’t answer him again. Heejun shrugged and decided to join Phillip in his silence.

  “Man, are you happy?” Heejun asked his friend after a few minutes as he looked at Jessica and Deandre, who are both the objects of Phillip’s gaze.

  Phillip shook his head as he looked at the couple with sadness on his face.

  “I can never be happy without her,” Phillip answered without hesitation. His gaze lingering on Jessica.

  “Then why did you hurt her again?”

  “It’s what I think is best,” Phillip said in a tone that says he is trying to convince himself.

  “Exactly, man,” Heejun answered while patting Phillip’s back. “It’s what YOU think is best.”

  “Do you think I’m wrong?” Phillip asked softly.

  “Duh,” Heejun muttered. “You are always wrong. You’re moves have never been right. If your lovelife was a game of chess, you’re CHECKMATE.”

  “Why are you so harsh to me, man?” Phillip asked, but without any malice. He was just curious.

  Heejun shook his head. “I’m your best friend. I am the only one who can tell you honestly what you’re doing wrong.”

  Phillip sighed as he finally forced himself to stop looking at Jessica and her beau.

  “We are never meant to be together.”

  Heejun made a tsk-ing sound. “You are so wrong there, man. It’s not because you’re not meant to be, you just don’t deserve her.’

  “I love her, Hee,” Phillip whispered. “I love her so much. I just wish… I just wish I know what to do.”

  “Oh man,” Heejun declared. “You suck at writing your own love story you know. May I write it for you? Because if I get to author your love story, I’ll kill you in the end. Then your problem is solved. Deandre and Jessica can live happily ever after just like Colton and me. And he---”

  Phillip cut his words. “Stop it!” Phillip whispered so harshly that Heejun felt the need to retort back. But the look on Phillip’s face had stopped any harsh words from coming out of his mouth. His best friend really looked broken. Phillip is once again looking at Jessica and Deandre who seemed to be having fun with each other.

  And Deandre even kissed Jessica on the forehead. At the look on Jessica’s face, she might have thought it was nice. Might have.

  Heejun can see the conflict mixed with pain on Phillip’s face.

  He sighed, suddenly feeling sad for his best friend. He can never understand Phillip’s mind, but he knows what he feels for Jessica is true.

  “Jessica’s birthday is near,” Heejun said quietly. “You might want to do something about it, Phillip. Redeem yourself. It might be your last chance.”

  ----

“Wake up, Baby girl!”

  “Jay jay, wake uuuppppp!”

  “Skinny Mini!!!!!!!!!”

  “Rise and shine in shiny Georgia, Baby girl!”

  “Asiaaaaaan! Fellow Asian!! Wake up, Asian girl!”

  Jessica woke up to the sound of a variety of voices. She slowly opened her eyes and came face to face with—

  “Heejun!” Jessica shouted as Heejun laughed his eyes out. The others, meaning all of the other Idols except Phillip, laughed with Heejun. Jessica glared at him and stood up from her bunk with Colton assisting her. 

  “Thanks, Skinny Mini,” Jessica said as she looked up to thank Colton. Colton smiled at her, which made Jessica blush. She and Colton just started talking again. She still feels a little bit awkward with him around, but Jessica wouldn’t exchange it for anything. Colton is a very nice guy and she missed him. She just had him back as her friend and she isn’t going to let go any time soon.

  “Boyfriend is here,” Heejun interrupted while pushing Deandre towards Jessica. “No cheating in front of the boyfriend, real or not real.”

  Both Colton and Jessica blushed while the others laughed at Heejun’s words. Jessica shook her head and went to embrace her best friend.

Deandre grinned and hugged Jessica back. “Morning, Babii!” he greeted, enthusiasm clearly etched on his face.

  Jessica hugged him for a few more moments before getting out from his embrace. She looked at him strangely. “What’s so chirpy about this morning, Dre?”

  Deandre’s jaw dropped and his brows furrowed. He looked at the others, who are now all frowning at Jessica.

  “What?” Jessica asked innocently. “Guys, I was merely asking a question. What is your problem?”

  Hollie pouted. “You seriously do not know what’s so special about today?”

  Jessica shook her head. “Uh… well, we’re in Georgia I assume… but  I can’t..... So… what’s special that you all woke me up at the same time? It’s not as if it’s my…” Her eyes turned wider, which made the other idols smile. “It’s… my birthday,” Jessica declared, realizing only at the moment that it was indeed her birthday.

  Elise came towards her and pulled her in a tight hug. “Took you long enough, Baby Girl. What type of person in her right mind would forget her own birthday?”

  Everyone laughed andJessica giggled as she returned Elise’s hug. Soon enough, they are having a group hug with Jessica at the center.

  “Thank you, guys,” she said sincerely. “This is the best birthday morning ever!”

  “Come on,” Skylar said as she threw Jessica a towel. “Get dressed. We prepared a special breakfast for you at the hotel.”

  Jessica’s eyes got bigger. “You mean you have already checked in? Why didn’t you wake me up?”

  Erika patted her on the back. “It’s your special day. You deserve a special lie in. Just go get dressed, okay? We’ll wait for you.”

  Jessica nodded. “All right. Thanks, guys! Give me fifteen minutes.”

  When Jessica was inside the bathroom, Heejun took over.

  “Okay, guys. This is it. We are risking our lives here,” Heejun said. “This is a matter of life and death for a chicken like Phillip. We need to do this right. I don’t need anything from you but full cooperation.”

  ----

  Jessica had an almost perfect day.

  It started with a special breakfast courtesy of the hotel where they are staying. There was even a cake made for Jessica. A lot of people greeted her and it made her so happy that people remembered her special day.

  And there was her Idol Family. They made the day really special. They spent the day with her and never left her side.

  I love them so much. Jessica thought as she made her way towards her and Hollie’s room. The girls decided to have a little movie marathon for the night and they all volunteered to prepare everything they need while Jessica was being interviewed by a few media people.

  Jessica felt gratitude towards her girl friends. The Idol girls knew she isn’t completely happy. That even though her day was full of smiles, gifts, and greetings, she still feels incomplete.

Phillip hasn’t greeted her. Jessica knows they are not okay right now, but still she expected him to at least greet her on her birthday.  But there was no text message. No call. No tweet. No personal greeting.  In fact her heart broke when she heard at breakfast that he was staying at the house of his supposedly ex-girlfriend. He’s been there the whole day according to his publicists when Heejun had asked her awhile ago. His head publicist even looked at her before turning her attention back to Heejun just to say: “He’s spending quality time with the people he loves on this very special day.”

  Jessica sighed as she finally reached her and Hollie’s room. She inserted her key and went inside, closing the door behind her.

  “Surprise!”

  Jessica turned so abruptly that she almost broke her neck. Tension evident on her face. She sighed a relief when she saw it was just Heejun and Colton. Heejun was holding a gift while Colton was holding a long-stemmed rose in his hand.

  And the girls are nowhere to be seen.

  Jessica narrowed her eyes at the two of them. “You planned this, didn’t you?”

  Colton shook his head. “No… I didn’t,” he said casually. “Heejun did.”

  Heejun glared at Colton then looked at Jessica. “Not really. But we’re just here to make you happy, Jessica.”

  Jessica smiled at that last statement and went to get the gift and rose from her two friends.

  “I know,” she said, suspicion gone from her mind. She kissed Colton and Heejun on the cheeks. “Thank you for that and also for making my day special.”

  Colton shook his head. “We love you, Jessica. We want your day to be special. This is nothing.”

  Jessica nodded her head. “Thanks so much for the rose and for the second gift. What is this?” she asked as she shook the wrapped package. This is when she caught Colton and Heejun looking at each other.

  Her suspicion came back.

  “Okay, Heejun and Colton,” Jessica said as she replaced the gift and the rose on top of her bed.  She crossed her arms and waited for her friends to say anything. But a few seconds had already passed, and still none of them are talking. They were merely glancing at each other as if they are talking using their eyes.

  Jessica raised one of her brows as she smiled at Colton and Heejun. “Spill it. What did you two do? Why are you giving me a second gift? Is it a bribery of some sort?”

  Heejun shook his head. “They aren’t from us! Why would I spend another penny for you? I already spent a lot on that bag I gave you. No, Jessica Sanchez. I am not spending another penny on you. You are not my mother or my girlfriend.”

  Jessica scoffed. “Thanks a lot, Heejun. I feel really really special now. Okay then. They are from King Kong,” she answered innocently, though her eyes were twinkling with amusement.

  Much to her surprise, Heejun nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, yes! They are from King Kong! Finally, you get it!”

  Jessica laughed. “Come on, Heejun! I was just kidding! How can they come from King Kong? Now tell me exactly, why are you giving me a rose and another gift? What did you do that might piss me off? And where are the girls?”

  Heejun looked at Colton and sighed. “Oh man. I thought she already gets what is happening. I guess not. You explain. I am tired of explaining,” he said as he sat down at the window seat.

  Colton rolled his eyes and looked at Jessica. He took a deep breath before he opened his mouth.

  “Okay, Skinny Mini. I will answer your questions one by one,” he said. “First, we didn’t do anything that might piss you off. It’s your special day so even Heejun is behaving. Second, the girls knew about this surprise so it’s the reason why they are not here. Third, the rose and the gift are really not from us. They are really from King Kong.”

  Jessica shook her head. “But you know that doesn’t make sense. King Kong is a fictional character. Who really did give me those? Are they from a fan? That’s all you have to answer.”

  Colton shook his head and sighed. And he was just about to open his mouth, but someone had beaten him to it.

  “They are from me, Jess. I am sorry I had to ask for their help.”

  -----

  At the sound of his voice, warning bells started coming off in her head. Her heart automatically reacted and started beating very fast. 

  Jessica turned around and came face to face with Phillip.

  She couldn’t breathe as she felt her heart stop. He was looking at her with so many emotions from his eyes that it started to overwhelm her.

  Acting on impulse, Jessica immediately turned around to run for the door, but a strong hand prevented her from even taking one step forward.

  “Jessica, wait,” Phillip said as he reached out for Jessica’s hands, but Jessica was already shaking her head.

  “I can’t take any heartbreak anymore, PP,” she said, her voice tired and reveals so much in pain. “Most especially not on my birthday. I want to end the day right. Whatever it is you want to say, say it tomorrow, okay? Just not now. Please… I’ve had enough. Please don’t ruin my day,” she begged.

  Phillip’s heart broke at the sound of Jessica’s voice. He looked at her and shooj his head sadly.

  “Jess, please listen to me. Just please listen to me. I promise not to bother you again. Just listen to me one last time.”

  Jessica looked at him; trying to see any trace of deception there. But Phillip is looking at her straight in the eyes and Jessica can see something in them. Determination.

  He wants to do something about this.

  Jessica nodded. She is tired of everything. Of playing games with him.

  Yes, she will listen to him. One last time.

  “One last time, Phillip. And after this, I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore.”

  Her last words cut through Phillip like a knife, but he tried to control his emotions and looked at Jessica in the eyes.

  “I love you, Jessica,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. But Jessica didn’t budge. Her face is unreadable. Phillip couldn’t blame her.

  “I had apologized for so many times, I know. And I broke your heart for so many times,” Phillip said, regret laced every word he just said. “But… I just want you to know, Jess. That every time I do that, I feel twice the hurt.”

  This time, Jessica scoffed as she averted her gaze. And Phillip felt hurt. Not because of Jessica’s action, but because Jessica was skeptical. It means she now doubts his love. And if there is anything that he knows felt real for him, it is his love for her.

  “I don’t expect you to believe me now, Jess,” Phillip said, trying to ignore the intensity of pain he is starting to feel. “How many times have I told you I’ll fight for you and then decided to give you up in the end?’

  Jessica didn’t answer, but her lips are beginning to tremble. Phillip almost reached for her, but he stopped himself.

  “Heejun had always said I’m an idiot,” Phillip admitted as he ignored the tiny scoff somewhere near the window. “And I am. But Jessica, I’ll be more of an idiot if… if… I don’t ask for another chance.”

  Phillip gathered up his courage and touched Jessica’s cheek with his hand. There was desperation in his voice as he said his next words:

  “Jessica, please… please give me… us… another chance,” he said, his voice pleading. Phillip rarely begs, but if her feelings for him are at stake, he will beg any time he needs to beg.

  Jessica didn’t answer him, but tears had run down her face.  

  Please don’t let this be over. Phillip thought.

  He closed his eyes, pain surging through his heart.

  “I love you, Jessica. I love you very much,” he said. “Even if you don’t give me another chance, just please… please believe me. What I feel for you is true, Jess. It was never unreal.”

  This time, Jessica shook her head.

  “How can I believe you again, Phillip?” she asked softly. “You never get tired of breaking my heart. Because I think you know that even though how many times you do, I will still love you. But love and trust are two different things, Phillip. I love you so much I can’t even think straight… but I don’t trust you. Not anymore.”

  Jessica’s words struck him so hard, but in spite of their harshness, a tiny tinge of hope rushed through Phillip.

  She still loves him.

  Phillip slowly opened his eyes to look at her.  He can see that she was trying hard to maintain her hostility, but her eyes gave her away. Phillip can see sadness there. Doubt. Longing.  

  But what made him decide to do the thing he has done next was that emotion he wants to see from her eyes.

  Yes, Jessica is still in love with him. It made Phillip pull her towards him and embrace her.

  Jessica struggled at first. She cried. She struggled. She cried. But Phillip didn’t release her. And at the end, she gave up. Jessica fell into Phillip’s embrace.

  He pulled her closer still and buried his face on her hair.

  “Just one chance, Jessica,” he whispered though her hair. “Please… please give us a chance.”

  Jessica didn’t answer him, but she continued crying. She cried her heart out. She cried her regrets. She cried her sadness.

  And Phillip didn’t let her go.

  He held her until her tears had dried. He held her until Heejun finally spoke and announced he’s bored. He held her until Heejun and Colton pulled them away from each other. Phillip held her until she was successfully removed from his arms by his two friends. But even then, he didn’t let go of her hands.

  Phillip caught Jessica’s eyes. There was still a little doubt there,  but he can see the forgiveness. He smiled shyly at her. A genuine smile that is meant only for her.

  “Thank you,” he said softly. Jessica didn’t say anything, but she let Phillip pull her towards him again to embrace her. And when she embraced him back, Phillip knows he will never let go again.

     ----

  “Uh.. Jess?” Phillip called as he turned back around. The three of them need to leave the room. Hollie had called Heejun and told him she needed her rest and that he, Phillip, and Colton should be gone by the time she reached her and Jessica’s room.

  Heejun is scared of an angry Hollie. So he literally pulled Colton and Phillip away right after he had talked to Hollie on his mobile.

  But Phillip still seemed reluctant to go in spite of the small talk he and Jessica had. Heejun and Colton looked at him curiously.

  Jessica smiled shyly. “Yes, PP?”

  Phillip suddenly got red in the face, much to Heejun and Colton’s amusement.

  “Uh.. well,” Phillip said, stuttering and averting his gaze. “I… uh… well I…”

  Jessica’s smile widened. Phillip looked so adorable. “Yes, PP”?

  “Ugh, this is frustrating,” she heard Phillip whisper to himself before he turned to face her again. “Well.. I just want to say… I--”

  “He wants to say he loves you,” Heejun interjected, which made Colton laugh, Jessica smile, and Phillip snap his head towards him.

  “What?” Heejun asked Phillip innocently. “I just said what you were about to say cause you are just so chicken to say it.”

  Phillip glared at him. “Goodnight, Heejun.”

  “Oooohhh,” Heejun said slyly. “You want to say goodnight in private.”

Phillip’s eyes are getting narrower by the moment. “Goodnight, Heejun,” he said, this time a little more forcefully, before he turned his attention to Colton.

  “Colton, please, you and Heejun are doing something, right?”

  Colton laughed at the look on Phillip’s face. “No, but I’ll take him away to give you two privacy.” Then his face turned serious. “No more funny business, Phillip. I swear this is your last chance.”

  Phillip nodded. “I promise.”

  Colton’s smile came back to his face. “Good,” he said before turning his focus on Heejun. “Let’s go, four eyes. You need your rest.”

  Heejun crossed his arms in front of himself and pouted like a child. “I’m not a kid, Colton. I know why you want me to go with you. Why miss all the fun?”

  Colton shook his head and started pulling Heejun by the collar. “Let’s go!”

  Surprisingly, Heejun didn’t put up a fuss. But he did give Phillip the nastiest glare he could ever master before he let himself be led away by Colton.

  As soon as their two friends went out of the room, Phillip turned towards Jessica.

  “Uh… sorry about that,” Phillip said while clearing his throat. “I… well…”

  Jessica didn’t let him finish. She went to him and put her arms around his waist.

  “No need, Phillip. I feel the same way. I want to say goodnight properly.”

  Phillip smiled as he finally wrapped his arms around her. “I just want to say happy birthday again and that I love you so much,” he said as he bent down to give her a kiss.

  Jessica smiled back. “I love you too,” she answered.  “No more drama?” she asked as she buried her face on Phillip’s chest.

  “No more drama,” Phillip whispered as he pulled her closer.

  ----

  Phillip had gone back to his house to spend his night with his family, while Jessica prepared to sleep. Hollie, her forever roommate, is already asleep on her bed when went out from the bathroom. It has been a tiring night and she needed a relaxing bath to soothe the tiredness she feels.

  She was lying on the tub as she thought about her night with Phillip. The truth is, she never would have believed him easily if she hasn’t felt it. There is something different in the way he said he loves her and that he is ready to fight for whatever they have. It is somewhat… stronger, more passionate, and sounds so… sure.

  Jessica she decided to check her Twitter one last time before sleep captures her.

  She smiled at Phillip’s tweet-- the greeting she would’ve been satisfied to have gotten this morning.

  @Phillips

@JSanchezAI11 happy birthday!!!!!!!!  Hope it’s amazing!

  Jessica smiled. She doesn’t need to reply. Phillip already knows it’s been amazing.

  ----

  It was a few days after their reconciliation. And Jessica was happy. She and Phillip might not be able to reveal their true feelings for each other yet, but there is an understanding between the two of them now. They know how they feel and they never fail to show each other even if it’s just through a simple text message or a simple smile.

  As of the moment, it works for them—the subtle glances, smiles, and touch.

  Then came one of those interviews.

  Jessica was advised to stay away from any camera before and after the press conference. This was, after all, about Phillip and his ex-girlfriend.

  But Heejun wouldn’t have it. He has promised he’ll fight for Jessica, so he will.

  Oh the things he does for Phillip the Idiot.

  A few minutes before the Press Conference started, Heejun had rung the doorbell at Jessica’s room and pulled her and Deandre down to the conference area. Of course not without Heejun throwing a particularly nasty glare at Deandre.  Deandre had flinched at the glare and nodded briefly. He knows what Heejun wanted to ask: “Why are you with Jessica again?”

  They sneaked in just a few minutes right after the Press Conference started. No one had paid them any attention because they were all focused at Phillip and his attention-loving pretend fiancée.

  Phillip had seen them though and he subtly raised a brow at Heejun, but Heejun just shook his head while looking at him with his usual poker face.

  Then Phillip met Jessica’s eyes. His expression instantly softened as he gave her a small smile. Jessica smiled back and mouthed a small “I love you.”

  Phillip couldn’t resist a grin, but he masked it by faking a cough before anyone could notice. He saw Deandre and Heejun silently laughing at the back and giving each other high fives. Jessica was blushing.

  Phillip closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath before giving the three a small nod and turning his attention back to the interaction happening between his ex-girlfriend and a reporter.

  And just at the right time to catch her last answer.

  “Yes… Phillip and I… we’re getting married.”

  A collective silence ensued. No one talked. Not even a breath can be heard. It’s as if everyone present has forgotten to breathe.

  ‘Speak now or forever hold your peace, you idiot!” Someone has shouted from the audience. There is no mistaking that voice. Phillip knows it is his best friend.

  And his best friend is right. He just can’t let them control everything again. Not when he is finally, and this time really finally, ready to bare all. Whether it will affect his career in a bad way or in a good way. Phillip just couldn’t keep hurting the girl he is in love with.

  “That’s not true,” Phillip said suddenly, which gained the media’s attention back towards him. They were all looking at him with obvious questions in their judgmental faces.

  “What’s not true, Mr. Phillips?” asked one reporter after a moment of shocked silence. Phillip can see his publicist waving at him. Again. From behind one of the curtains. Trying to stop him from finally revealing what he has been keeping for a long time inside his heart.

  “We’re just friends,” he said softly, gauging the reaction of the media people.

  Phillip smiled as he saw the reporters finally recovering after a few seconds. They started asking questions again.

  “We thought you’re still together? What happened?”

  “We broke up about a month ago,” Phillip explained, as he smiled at the female reporter. “We decided we’re really better off as friends.”

  “Then why did you tell everyone she’s still your girlfriend? Is it just a cover up because of the videos and photos that came out?”

  Phillip shook his head. “No. She is still my girl friend,” he answered, smiling. “A friend who is a girl.”

  Phillip can see from the corner of his eyes that his PR Team stopped gesturing wildly at him.

  “What do you mean? You lied to everyone? Your fans?”

  Phillip shook his head. “I didn’t exactly lie. I know how I really feel.”

  “Yes, but still you admitted in front of the camera that this woman here is your fiancée.”

  Phillip nodded his head, but said nothing. As if sensing Phillip won’t answer the question, the reporters turned their attention to the suddenly quiet woman beside Phillip.

  “So, Ma’am, why is it that you said he has proposed that day? You got us there. We were all worried for a little while. A lot of Phillip’s fan girls were definitely devastated upon hearing that news.”

  Phillip turned to look at his ex-girlfriend to hear what she’s going to say, but she seemed speechless and just kept smiling at the reporters without the smile reaching her eyes. Phillip felt guilty and decided to answer the question for her.

  “Don’t be too harsh on her,” Phillip joked, trying to make the mood light. “This is her very first press conference!”

  It worked. The media laughed.

  “I know she meant it as a joke, but you all believed it so we had no choice,” Phillip continued, taking advantage of the fact that he made the press people laugh. “Didn’t you?” he asked, smiling at the girl beside him.

  “Y-yes,” she answered, finally recovering her voice. She gave the media a forced smile. “J-just to… you know… make things more interesting. Haha.”

  When nobody laughed, Phillip forced a laugh.

  Dang. Heejun would be proud of me. I am really getting better at these interviews. He thought.

  “So… any more questions?” Phillip asked, diverting the attention from his ex-girlfriend. The reporters obliged.

  “So Phillip Phillips is available in the market again?”

  “Well, not that available,” he answered, giving a short laugh.

  And just like that, his last statement perked up the media. Questions started flowing again. And the excitement was palpable.

  “What do you mean not that available?”

  “Are you not ready to date yet?”

  “Who’s the mystery girl?”

  “Are you in love with somebody?”

  “Are you gay?”

  Phillip was smiling as he shook his head. “You’re funny, ya’ll,” he said, giving the reporters his best smile. “But no, I am not gay. No, I’m not ready to date yet. And yes, am not that available. Because Yes… I am in love with somebody right now.”

  The he heard the reporters laugh as if he just told them a very good joke.

  “Okay. Who are you in love with? Heejun? Is Philjun finally coming true?”

  And they started laughing again. Deep inside, Phillip was irritated. Yes, they do not know yet who he is in love with, but his feelings for her are genuine. He is serious about her. What he feels for her is not a joking matter.

  Phillip forced a laugh for the media as he caught his Publicist’s eyes at the corner of the room. She’s still hiding behind that curtain. She was glaring at him and was once again, gesturing wildly at him.

  But Phillip mouthed a “No”, shook his head at her, and faced the reporters.

  Taking a deep breath and flashing a brief smile at everyone, Phillip answered the question. “Heejun is in love with me, but I don’t love him. He loves Colton so much he can hardly see straight.”

  Phillip can see Heejun’s eyes popping right out from their sockets. Deandre was laughing quietly. And Jessica, his Jessica, was giggling.

  It made Phillip feel so much better inside. He can do this.

  “So what about the getting married next month statement from your girl friend here?”

  Phillip shook his head.

  “That’s not true,” he said, looking at everyone. “What she said is not true. I’m not in love with her so we’re not getting married any time soon.” Phillip briefly gazed at his ex-girlfriend to emphasize his point and she is now wearing a stricken look on her face. He turned his attention back to the reporters. “In fact, we’re not getting married. She and I, we’re just friends and have been for quite awhile now. I already told you that.”

  A few of the reporters just nodded, much to his publicist’s too obvious groans from behind the curtains.

  “This is quite confusing you know, Mr. Phillips. I’m sure some of your fans won’t appreciate the deception, but most of them would be relieved to know you’re available again.”

  Phillip sighed. “I can’t change what happened; it’s done. It’s been a mistake and I’m correcting it now. What do you want to know? How about I make it up to all of you by being honest at this very moment?” he asked while tiredly looking at the reporters.

  The media people looked at each other, before one of them turned to speak to Phillip.

  “You said she’s not your fiancée but you are still in love. You finally want to be honest, Mr. American Idol? Now is your chance.”

  Phillip was not surprised at the mockery in the reporter’s voice when he said the words, ‘Mr. American Idol’. He knows a lot of them believe he shouldn’t have won, but then right now, he doesn’t care about what they think.

  “Yes, I’m in love with someone else…” Phillip said seriously, his eyes looking at the reporter who asked him the question, then his gaze went straight to Jessica.

  Their eyes met. Hers was shiny with unshed tears. Unfortunately, the media followed his gaze much to the horror of his publicist and his ex-fiancee.

  Then suddenly, Phillip smiled so lovingly that no one will have any doubt that he is a man in love.

  “… and you should know by now who she is.”

  A gasp can be heard from somewhere near the curtains.