#pp dimitri

August 22nd. 12:30pm. 

Dimitri looks over to Nil as lunch rush begins. He’s been noticing Nil looking tired for a few days now, but he didn’t want to intervene, as his “oldest sibling” habits might kick in again. But Nil looks worse than he did back in 2 months ago. His hair’s messier, his eye bags are worse, and he looks a bit pale. Or maybe it’s just the lighting. But that doesn’t matter right now. Something in Dimitri snaps, and he walks over, shaking Nil’s shoulder gently. “Nil, you good?” 

Nil’s eyes widen and he, letting his survival instincts get the better of him again, nearly punches Dimitri in the stomach. Dimitri steps back and slips but catches himself on the nearby counter. Nil realizes what he just did and lets his grip go from his fist and lets his fingers fall. Dimitri stares intently at Nil for a moment before standing up and walking over again, his expression and tone full of his usual concern. 

“Dude, are you okay? Your eye bags look worse than they did in June. Maybe you should take your 15?” 

For some reason, Nil looks past Dimitri’s concern and continues his pizza. “Yeah, I’m fine. I had a rough couple of nights.” 

“Are you sure? Cause you’re free to stay at my place again if you want.” 

Nil thinks about seeing Dimitri’s room. All packed up... every memory being stored away... sleeping in Dimitri’s bed one last time... never being able to have that comfort again... Dimitri leaving him forever... Nil’s eyes become a little watery, but he blinks it all back. He speaks in an angry tone. 

“I’m fine, Dimitri. You don’t have to fucking worry about me.” 

Dimitri’s starting to get a little annoyed. He shoves his hands in his hoodie pockets, and watches Nil carefully. “Is this about me leaving for uni?” 

... Nil freezes. He expected Dimitri to guess it right away, but it was still a shocker somehow. He looks over his shoulder to face Dimitri one more time before turning his emotions off again and goes to stare back at the pizza, his voice full of defence and bitterness. 

“No. Leave me alone, okay?” 

... Dimitri feels like he’s at a loss. But he knows he can’t force Nil to explain what’s happening. He returns to his own order and speaks once more. 

“Alright. But please tell me if you wanna talk about it. You can always talk to me... just call me.” 

... Nil nearly considers it. He almost wants to turn to Dimitri, start crying, tell him to stay for just another week, tell him that he started thinking about dying because of this, and maybe get a hug. 

... But he doesn’t. He just continues the day with angry tears filling his eyes. He really has been thinking about dying since that car nearly hit him, and he thinks Dimitri is sort of to blame.

... but what's the point of talking? He's leaving anyways.