Wow. I've pictured myself writing this so many times. I have no idea where to even begin. I guess the first thing is to say, how dare you? How dare you try to talk to me after you walked away from me? You walked out of my life, how dare you try to walk back in? What gave you the right? What gave you the idea? I got your texts. They infuriated me. First of all, I don't even remember being friends with you. The only thing I remotely remember is during that Tinychat when I jokingly "stripped" for everyone. That was the only time I can remember where we were friends and not dating. So no, I don't miss being friends. There are times when I miss texting you or talking to you. Sometimes I reach for my phone and realize you're not my girlfriend and I can't text you. I have lost so many friends in the past year. And I couldn't be happier that the year is over.
I've had so many friends who helped me get through our fucked up breakup. My roommates Anna and Nellie, my best friends Freddi and Marissa and Emily, and one girl who threw me out of her life. I know you had good intentions when you checked up on me every few days, but it just made me feel worse. When you texted me those first few days, I had (for the most part) forgotten about you until you texted me. And then when I told you I wasn't comfortable talking to you, and you said "Well you could've at least told me," you said it like I owed you that explanation. I didn't and still don't owe you jack shit. You lied to me. You told me you loved me and then, the day before my birthday, you broke up with me because we were fighting. In the end, I'm glad you did. I'm much better off. Sure, it hurt like hell for a few days and weeks, but I'm much happier now. I'm doing really really well in school. I'm making awesome friends. I even smoke a lot now. I'm a regular pothead.
So I'd just like to say thank you. Thank you for ruining New York City and NYCC 2013 for me (especially after I ran into Ike and Jay, who noticed me but didn't say hi). Thank you for walking into my life, walking out, then thinking you have the right to walk right back in again. Thank you for the countless nights I cried because of anxiety and depression from you. But thank you for making me a stronger person. Thank you for showing me that people can lie about love, too. Thank you for showing me that I can live without you. I'm still alive, aren't I?
P.S. Please don't take this letter as an invitation to start talking to me again. I blocked your phone number so you can't text or call me, so please respect my wishes and don't try to contact me.
