#pots gremlin

So yeah it went as expected I guess. Some family members were nice tho and cared about me and one family member came to my room after church service and we talked a bit and he agreed that since I had Covid that I got pots and me/cfs.

Unfortunately during church service I had an episode and I got several high heart rate alerts. Luckily the family member after church was like hey we can drive back home it’s ok if u don’t feel ok. So I’m glad I didn’t have to stay longer and socialise with ppl from church.

I think I pushed myself tho on the 26th bcs I had to walk to the city and back home on that day to an outing with a family friend and the whole family. So a walk that usually takes 10min it took me 23min + 4 pit stops of sitting down on the way. On the way back it was 20min and 4 pit stops as well. I even ended up in zone 4 and 5 for a very slow walk which idk if that’s normal , I’ll assume it’s not normal.

As you can see in the outdoor walk report data I was walking slow and still ended up with such values 😭

The kicker is now that my hips are very big outchie and hurt in the mornings and in the evenings and it’s agony 9001 and I hate it >:((

I luckily got my pain killers on Thursday after work bcs I ran out and boy those pills save my life from stupid arthritis.

When the fuck do I get a goddamn break from being either in pain or not feeling ok or from being a depressed tired wet noodle????

So I have Microcytic Anemia, Psoriatic Arthritis, possible Rheumatoid Arthritis, Pots, Chronic fatigue , Psoriasis and an empty bag of fucks to give bcs im so tired…

When the fuck is this shit getting better again?? I need a break. I’m fighting since February to fix myself properly. Still no end in sight. Next year in June I’m moving into my own apartment and I’m so scared bcs what do you mean I have to take care of myself and an my apartment then and feed myself and clean and keep everything nice bcs no one else will 😭 and oh wait I still have to declutter my room here at my moms apartment 🤡 and I need to organise everything and pack until June.