#posts with soph

the soundtrack was SPECTACULAR and i was so !! at the use of just general australian language like having someone say "you're cooked" on a netflix show i- like it never felt cringe it just felt real lmao

posting this on here, since i can’t post anything on other social media until her parents / husband make the first announcement, but i can’t keep holding it in. my best friend died on saturday night. i found out yesterday (sunday) morning. i can’t really comprehend it, despite her being sick for all of this past year. almost to the date when she told us she had been diagnosed with cancer. it’s so incredibly cruel that one of the brightest, loveliest souls i have ever had the privilege to know h as been taken before she has even turned 25. i’m so grateful i got to see her on wednesday when she said her time was looking more like days/weeks than months, and i got a semblance of closure, unlike some of our friends who hadn’t been able to see her in months. i think the thing that i can’t wrap my head around most in the last 24 hours, is the fact that half of my memories/recollections are gone now. all my university memories, i only have my own memory to remember them, and not someone else to remember other parts that i forgot. i think i’ve been thinking about this since wednesday when i was recounting a story of us going on a trip and having a pretty shitty sleeping arrangement, and then she piped in with another little thing that had happened which i had completely forgotten about. now she’s gone, her version of the 7 years of friendship and memories we have, are just gone, and that’s really tough to sit with. it’s really upsetting knowing how much life she had in her and how close we were, she was my person in many ways, we just clicked in every aspect of our lives and i thought we’d be old grannies in our 80s still giggling and chatting each other’s ears off. i just can’t believe she’s gone.

this is my "it was on glee".