#posts ever

help im flirting with this pirategirl but she keeps using so much sailor jargon I don't understand. what does it mean if she wants to "rig her mast" to my "poop deck" ?

ideal situation. there is a ball pit in the ground in front of me full to the brim with bundles of wires of every color and size. i shout and hoorah like this is my last day on earth and take a running start to dive headfirst into the pool of wire. i cut through like butter and am never seen again. the only trace left of me is my round nerd glasses found resting safely next to it the day after. no one can remember if i had them on when i jumped in