you givem e a big red button and yuuuuuuuuuuuuuup i'm pushing that shit
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you givem e a big red button and yuuuuuuuuuuuuuup i'm pushing that shit

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Being trans and a caregiver for a little is one of the most beautiful and heartwrenching experiences I've been given in this world. Unsure if this'll leave drafts but. I've always wanted to be a mother. I'd stay up night after night thinking about carrying a child and nurturing them and watching them grow up before. And it's always bittersweet because. Who am I kidding, I'm never going to be a mom. I could adopt at some point in the future but every single partner I've had has been very against the idea of kids and I've loved those people with so much of my heart that I've had to accept it as something I need to compromise on. I'm never going to experience firsthand the joys of childbirth and holding my blood in my own two paws.
And so enters my darling little girl. A loved one who randomly turned into a 6 year old over night and needed a mother. And to be willingly accepted as her mother. To watch our relationship grow and develop and become more and more personal and vulnerable. To think of myself as a mother first. To look at her and feel more love than I ever thought I could hold. Watch her become more and more comfortable exploring her age regression, seeing her have to catch herself from calling me mom in front of people who aren't in the loop yet and gradually becoming more and more aware that we're in a circle who accepts her for the little she is. I knew the concept of a mother's love but I never thought I would feel it. It's overwhelming. To love someone as your own. It's beautiful and deep and overflowing while heartwrenching and overpowering.
This all has been a relatively new experience for me. We're closing in on month 1 of this dynamic. Last night I tucked her into bed and read her a bedtime story. I hadn't read her a story before, so I made sure I picked a favorite she was nostalgic for. The way she lit up. Giggling the entire way through, asking me "What happens next, mama?", clinging onto particular silly oddball phrases from the story. Every day I am discovering how deep my love for my little lovepup can go. When I finished her story, she told me my voice was perfect for it. She told me how special her bedtime story was to her. She told me I was the best mother she could ever ask for. And I cried. She was crying too, I wish I could have wiped those tears out of her eyes. I cried because it dawned on me that I never knew or thought these things could be said to me. Never once had I ever thought I'd be capable of someone telling me I'm an amazing mom, much less the best mom she could ever want. I love my little with all of my heart. I'm so lucky to be able to call myself her mama. She's one of the best things to have ever happened to me.
*age-regressing a robot-girl* Awww, you're always going to be mama's little circuit board, baby.... mama's little microchip <3
i love that one movie. the blowjob brothers.
I love images that are utterly indecipherable to anyone not within the friendgroup that it obviously escaped containment from. I love stumbling upon images and gifs that mean absolutely nothing to me and finding my own meaning in them.

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While I was driving home yesterday, I was passed by a guy in an old, beaten up red chevy truck with a buccees air freshener and an "I ♥️ HOOKERS" bumper sticker. He totally cut me off but I was so awestruck by his aura that I wasn't even mad about it. I think I saw an angel.
I've been thinking a lot about this shot from Kill Bill. Every single time I show someone this film, they always comment on how The Bride brings a sword onto the plane and every single time the explanation of "airplanes have built in katana-holsters" kills me. Like duh, dude, of course they do.
I wish I was a car pervert who knew the innerworkings of the engine and yadda yadda but instead I'm just a car pervert who thinks every car is a dog and should be spoken to as a dog.