#post;war

"Hey, mom, how are you?"

A small smile tugged at the corner of Naruto's lips as he sat down in front of the cold stone. "I can see that even after all this time people still bring you flowers, uh?" They were fresh, colourful and small. Probably the kind of flowers his mother liked. Ah-- the blond noticed-, he never had the chance to ask his mom what flowers she did like. But it was okay. Naruto had a lone sunflower, and he laid it among the other flowers (that seemed really, really small, now). Ah, he felt stupid. Not for being here, no, because he promissed himself he would gather courage enough to visit... here. But because he didn't feel like he supposed he would feel.

When he was inside his mind, with Kurama, he could see his mother. Feel her.

Right now, all he felt was the cold autumn breeze, and the only thing he could see was a stupid stone with her name. But still... He was seeking comfort there. And someone to talk to. "Things has been rough the last months. War, like dad probably told you already, wasn't easy. We lost some friends. We made some new friends. I can say that something important happened- Sasuke is back to Konoha. And it makes me happy, ya know? The teme is back and now he will finally be happy and..." Pause. Naruto felt the lump in his throat and tried to avoid it. "Teme is happy. And that makes me so happy, I can't explain. I think I'm that guy that will be always being happy for every single happy moment in his friend's life. But I'm okay with that." Slowly (and without even noticing it), one hand went up to gently brush the name on the stone.

Uzumaki Kushina. Naruto could almost hear her voice in his head and that made a sad, dry chuckle leave his lips. "It's so unfair, mom. That you're not here. That I have no one to give me advice when it's needed. And right now, I need you so much, I--"

It hurt too much to speak, and at that moment, Naruto couldn't even hide the hurt in his voice, or hold the tears that were now rolling down his face. "I try to be a good friend, you know? And I never give up on that, I never give up on friends. And no matter what they think of me, I treat them like good friends. Even though, sometimes, I know they don't care. Stupid, isn't it?" Another chuckle, and the blond tried to wipe out his tears on his big sweater. "And I won't give up on that, that's how I am. And I know you and dad would be proud of me. But... Sometimes it's too much. Sometimes I just want to give up and be alone only with people that care. I'm an horrible person, mom. I'm... Selfish and stupid, and even though I know they're happy, I... I feel angry. Because I'm not, and sometimes I wish everyone would be just friends so no one would have another person that's more important than anyone else and..." A broken sob escaped, and only in that moment Naruto noticed he was actually leaning on the stone.

And it only felt cold. "I wish I could be a better friend. I... I'm gonna try. I will keep doing what I have to do, okay? I promise. I just... needed to get that off of my chest." So why it still felt heavy? Ah-- being selfish was such an ugly thing. "I'm... Thank you, mom." It was still cold when Naruto finally managed to stand up and stop crying. But he didn't feel cold, no.