#post doomstar

(s’more below kr! nothin’ graphic this time unless you count tomfoolery and warm ups)

‘O lord of hatred, spill your tar and bile unto us so we may drown for our sins.

Skwisgaar scooted closer to her, there was barely any space between them on the expansive bed already, but it still felt like miles. He pressed a kiss against her forehead, her brow furrowed for a second before relaxing once more. She moved closer to him until she was pressed against him, he closed his eyes feeling a comfort in the soft warmth of her bare skin against his, he wrapped an arm around her waist holding her. She snuggled against his chest, he felt her fingers curl against his side as she held onto him. His own fingers stroked along the raised scar from where she had been stabbed, his heart still aches any time he saw the scar or when his fingers brushed against it. He often apologized to her while kissing the mark, tears blurring his eyes. Every time she would grasp his jaw tilting his head back and softly telling him it was okay, that she wasn’t mad.

He couldn’t help but blame himself, they had fucked up. A part of him needed both her and Toki to be angry with him, with all of them for what happened. He should have known from day one that Magnus was planning something, he should have told Abigail, gotten her and Toki away from him before the funeral.

“Skwisgaar?”

Abigail pulled back to look at him.

“Ja?”

“What’s wrong?” She asked her voice soft, raspy with sleep as she reached up brushing her fingers against his cheek brushing away his tears.

He forced a small wavering smile, he took hold of her wrist moving her hand to his lips, he gently kissed her palm.

“Nothing, ams fine.”

She looked at him like she wasn’t buying it, he was the worst at lying of the group, everybody knew it. He was even worse at keeping a grasp on his own emotions, his guilt.

“Talk to me.”

“It’s fine, reallies….just de same shit.” The same memories playing on repeat, watching the scene from the funeral play in his mind over and over again.

He wished it had been him instead.

“Baby, hey look at me.” She pushed her fingers back through his hair, she leaned her forehead against his.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered his voice hardly audible.

“You’re forgiven, Toki too, you know he isn’t mad at you. You can’t beat yourself up over this, we love you.”

Her words were a small comfort, he felt guilty for being like this. He’d spent the past three months worrying over Abigail and Toki, needing to know they were okay and safe. He’d stopped looking after himself, hadn’t slept or eaten. Now the tables turned and his partners were worrying over him, making sure he ate and that he slept, he felt guilty making them worry.

She kissed him softly pulling him from his thoughts and back into the moment. He moved his hand from her scar to her hip, he kissed her back needing her to know he loved her.

“I love you,” he whispered as he stared down into her eyes.

“I love you too, now stop worrying so much.” She kissed him once more before settling down in bed once more.

Skwisgaar rolled onto his back allowing for her to curl up against his side, her head resting against his chest, she took hold of his hand lacing their fingers together as she fell back into sleep.

Taking care of babies is brutal.

Toki sleeping shirtless is actually canon. But I’m stating that again for the sake of this post.

The doctors advise him to sleep shirtless since he’s been locking himself in his room and they want to be able to check on his injuries without moving or bothering him too much. Poor baby needs to heal physically and mentally.

The boys probably already get really bothered when they see the scars on his back. They usually just wave it off as being “super brutal”, but that’s because hearing the real story of how he got those makes them feel really uncomfortable. They have bad histories with their parents. But they aren’t shit compared to Toki. They know this.