#post attack

Casey had been back at work for three days. Both Ethan and Tobias knew there was something more than just grief and anger at the missed miscarriage but both men knew that if Casey wanted to talk about it then it would be on her terms. Casey and Ethan were seeing Dr Jensen to help them through their grief but the questions Casey had could only be answered by Tobias. The question was to do with the antidote and whether or not the miscarriage could have been caused by it. As much as Casey wanted to seek answers, she also did not want to come off as some crazy grieving bitch. Today was Aurora’s day off and Baz was doing some research, as such it was just them and they had a working lunch. Casey ordered in some sushi and she decided to be direct.

“Tobias, did the antidote have anything to do with my miscarriage?”

Tobias was taken aback. There had not been any research done into the antidote, it was decided that any research would only happen with the absolute explicit consent of Raf and Casey.

“It should not have, it was designed to be cleared at the same time as the toxin after it bonded.”

“But you do not know for sure?”

Tobias took a deep breath.

“You and Raf were not the only people traumatized by that day Casey. We all decided that any further research would happen only with the consent of both you and Raf.”

“Why did you want our consent? The breakthrough would have been groundbreaking.”

“And making you both relive that day with any questions, scans, tests to see how you both are physically and mentally after that.” Said Tobias, “not to mention those of us who came that day. The realization when I had the call from Aurora telling me what could have happened at Kenmore, the red flags that even June in all seriousness should have picked up became painfully apparent.” Tobias took another breath, this time to keep his emotions in check.

“This is not about me, it is about you and your question and to the best of my knowledge, No the antidote did not cause your miscarriage.” He said, before quickly excusing himself. It had been at least a decade if not longer that Tobias needed the privacy of a supply cupboard to vent his frustration but today it seemed apt.

He screamed and then felt tears run down his face. He was not lying when it dawned on him that it could have happened at Kenmore but that night was full of emotion. It was the night he realized that any emotion that Ethan had towards Casey was genuine, it was the night where he saw that he had been played by June, it was a night that he was appalled at himself, it was a feeling he had not felt since medical school and he was keen to not feel that ever again. It pained him he was in some way responsible for the attack, sure there had been positives out of it, he and Ethan eventually reconciled, he had a good friendship with Casey also, the relationship with Ethan and Casey but he knew things could have ended very differently that night, it was upsetting enough that two people lost their lives before the team from Kenmore were able to arrive.

He eventually regained his composure and went about the rest of his day but the haunted emotions did not leave him. He was finishing up for the day when his path crossed with Ethan. He noted that Tobias was not himself.

“Are you alright, Tobias?” Questioned Ethan.

“I have been better…” he wanted to tell Ethan the full story but the nurses station they were at was not the place.

“I will finish soon, did you want to meet and tell me what is up?” Asked Ethan.

“I’ll be fine buddy, you go spend some time with Casey.”

Ethan left it at that. Later that night, when both Ethan and Casey were at home, he asked Casey if she knew why Tobias was not himself this afternoon.

“That may have been my fault.” Stated Casey.

“How was it your fault?”

“I took advantage of knowing I would not be interrupted by Aurora and Baz to ask him if the antidote could have caused my miscarriage.”

“Oh” said Ethan. He did not know what to say in that moment that would not have him coming off as a condescending asshole.

“He did not seem to think it did but since no research has been done he could not be 100% sure.” Said Casey.

“I must admit, many of the physical checks we did after that attack were focused on the lungs and your physical strength, although you had the least exposure and we did not check the reproductive organs…”

“I know I have PCOS and that may have made me more susceptible anyway, I also know the fucking statistics Ethan. It could have happened regardless but I wanted to know” wailed Casey.

Ethan got up and hugged her. The doctor in him wanted to remind her that if there was any other irregularities found that could not be tied to her PCOS or any other ailment but he kept quiet and hugged her, assuring her that everything would be fine.

Casey was emotionally drained so she went to bed early and Ethan messaged Tobias asking if he was amenable to having lunch the next day, for which Tobias agreed.

The next day came and Ethan and Tobias met at the local Italian restaurant near the hospital. Ethan decided to be direct.

“Casey told me about the conversation you had yesterday.”

Tobias nodded. “I should not have been shocked that the question was coming but the emotions it stirred up was a shock.”

“There was so much more I wanted to say last night, but kept quiet.”

“Yeah that line between doctor, husband or friend and condescending asshole is a very fine one.”

Ethan nodded in agreement.

“I guess the guilt I felt for courting them both, telling June about it which lead to the heist….”

“It is not your fault Tobias. If the Senator did not seek medical treatment, he would have died anyway.”

“Yeah two innocents would have not been caught in his plot and Casey and Raf would not have been compromised .”

“And if your team found out? Travis still would have had his revenge.”

“Yeah and probably would have done more damage than Edenbrook, it was the VIP wing that swayed Travis, hell that should have been the first red flag.”

“We missed many too or passed it off as Travis’s job or concern.” Stated Ethan, “Do you know what gave Casey the inspiration to check for lead poisoning?”

“No, I was jealous that you guys solved it so fast.” Said Tobias with a slight chuckle.

“The senator forgot the word Vegan.”

Tobias raised his eyebrow in surprise.

“Well they do say lifestyle choices are often key in finding the problem.”

Tobias took a sip of his drink.

“In all seriousness though, I will always feel somewhat responsible for the events that happened and that will never change. Do not get me wrong there was some really good things that came out of it but it was still traumatic and I suppose if the antidote has caused even more fertility concerns it would make me feel worse.”

“The grief is still all to fresh. As Casey said last night, I know the statistics on miscarriage and to be honest I think it is making the process worse.”

“I can only imagine the grief, it is certainly something that I wish you two never had to go through in the first place.”

Ethan nodded and the finished their meal in companionable silence.

Later that day Tobias came across Casey in the office. He apologized for being not much help the day before. Casey stated there was no need to apologize but accepted the apology. Tobias stated that if the antidote was in any way responsible that he will feel worse that what he does. Casey reminded him that any potential fertility concerns were not a high priority.

“I regret the actions at my end that lead to the attack, I always will, but I will always be thankful fot the positives.”

“Me too, Tobias” as they hug and and then go about their day.

——

Authors note 2: Well that was that, again Elsa thank you for the ask. We know Pixelberry very much glazed over any side effects both physical and mental from the attack but we also have to remember the doctors and nurses who worked in the support suite, who found a cure fell even through out the hospital.

I think we all headcanon Tobias being a good guy all the ego bravado and in Tashland and even in any au where I have had the attack happen, Tobias always feels responsible and even though it is a turning point for him in many ways, he still feels guilty that needless loss of lives lead to it.

Regular readers know that Casey goes on to have two kids with Ethan. Hudson and Alexis. Both pregnancies were relatively trouble free. Whilst in labour with Hudson she does have a blood pressure spike which lead to an emergency Cesarean. Tobias and the team eventually do research into the antidote and it was found it did not impact fertility.

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“As much as I am liking the visit, head home, rest, I am not going anywhere.” Ethan reluctantly left. He knew Casey was right but he could not help but worry. He stopped off at Derry’s to buy a coffee and went home. He emailed Naveen. Even though he and Casey had not discussed being in the open and how that would look but he felt it imperative that he get the ball rolling.

To Naveen,

I am emailing you to advise that I am in a relationship with Dr Casey Valentine. I have made her aware of my intent of being open about this and we will of course discuss in due course but I wanted to let you know so that we can get the ball rolling.

Regards

Dr Ethan Ramsey.

When Naveen had read the email he could not help but feel happy for his mentee. He knew that both him and Casey were more than capable of working well together, no matter what their relationship circumstances happened to be so he was happy if reporting lines stayed the same but at the end of the day he knew that call would be made by HR but he was hopeful that there would be a solution.

Casey’s physical condition improved over the following week. Her discharge day was the day of the funeral for Bobby and Danny. It was bittersweet. Casey was thankful that a cure was found and that she survived but there was the questions of why me, how is it fair? Going around in her head. Medical leave from work was approved and any counselling she knew would be taken care of however a part of her wanted to seek some type of normalcy. She went to the funeral, hoping it would give closure. In a way it did but she was unable to feel. She felt numb, cut off, the feeling was disconcerting. She felt so disconnected that she barely noticed that the wake was nearly over. Ethan came over to Casey and gave her a hug. “Come on, let’s go.”

He walked her to his car and they drove off.

“How does the weather know?”

“How does the weather know what Casey?”

“How did it know that today was a day of grey and misery?”

Ethan did not know what to say. He had intended to drive her home but at this point changed his mind, he was going to bring her to his.

It was not until they pulled up at Ethan’s building that she realized. They made their way to his apartment. He poured himself a glass of scotch and offered one to Casey which she accepted.

“I know that you must be going through so much. You seem, almost distant..”

“I am numb, numb and disconnected. I thought the funeral would give me a sense of closure, but I have felt so disconnected from anything…”

He kisses her, it was emotion charged. It caught Casey off guard but she returned the kiss. The kisses got more emotionally charged and heated. Ethan pulled away slightly, he rubbed his thumb along her jawbone.

“We don’t need to go any further tonight”

“I know Ethan, but I want to.”

She kisses him. Hungrily. He ran his hands down her side, reacquainting himself with her curves. He unzips her dress and discards it. He looks at her underwear. He kisses her gently on the lips before kissing the column of her neck. He tweaks her hardened nipples through her bra, eliciting a moan from Casey. He unhooks her bra and lavishes attention on her breasts. Casey feels even more aroused. She knew she was drenched. His hand made its way between her legs. He could feel how wet she was. He let out a groan and laid waist to her underwear. He ran a finger around her clit. Casey moaned as she bucked her hips. As much as Ethan wanted to fuck her pain away, he also wanted to savour this night. He positioned himself between her legs. He kissed the inside of her thigh, slowly. Casey quivered in anticipation and he ran his tongue around her clit. Again she moaned and bucked her hips. Ethan then ran his tongue through her folds before entering. He continued to eat her out, being guided by her moans and screams. He worked his way back up to her clit and inserted two fingers.

“Fuck…” she screamed, as he hit that spot from the get go. He moved his other hand up to her breast and massaged it. Casey could not recall when she last felt so much sensory overload. She was fast hurtling towards the precipice of what felt like an intense orgasm. She clenched his fingers and he knew she was close. He pumped her harder and sucked a little harder. Casey fell, screaming. He helped her ride it out. Casey felt like she was floating. He kissed her, the taste of her in his mouth was intoxicating. He got up and picked her up, he took her to his bedroom. He placed her down and she kissed him again, this time removing his clothing. She ran her hands along his hardened cock. He hissed. She then walked backwards towards his bed. They kiss again and Casey moves so that she is straddling him. He leans over to his top drawer and grabs a condom. He puts it on and then Casey slowly works her way down. It did not take long for her body to readjust to his size. Once he was fully sheathed she started to rock her hips. He thrust up causing her to moan. She rode him, harder than what she would have liked to have started with but the intensity of the previous orgasm is what she was chasing. Ethan kept pace, enjoying being fully inside her for real and not just in his lust fueled thoughts. He sucked her nipples which caused her to yell “fuck”. Before long Casey could feel she was getting close. Ethan could feel it too and with his thumb, massaged her clit. The sensation had Casey hurtling to again another intense orgasm. She fell and her climax triggered Ethan’s. After a few minutes she eased herself off and cuddled into Ethan. Casey then started to cry. She had wanted to all day, all week even but she could not, no matter how hard she tried. Ethan let her cry, assuring her that she was ok, and to let it all out. She cried herself to sleep. Ethan fell asleep not long after. He was relieved that Casey was able to let her emotions out and that she was in his arms.

Ethan awoke first the next morning. He tried to gently get out of bed but Casey started to stir.

“I did not mean to wake you” he said gently.

“I was waking up, it’s fine, I had no nightmare last night, plus with our activities, I actually feel rested.

Ethan smiled.

“I have a late start today but did you want to stay here, however long you feel you need?”

Casey stretched whilst she thought about it. Either staying here or at her apartment would mean long hours alone but decided here. After last night she knew she would not be treated like a fragile object and that is what she needed.

“I would like to stay here, but I will need some clothes.”

Ethan squeezed her hand.

“I can drop you to yours on my way to work.” He leaves the room and comes back with a key ring. This is so you can get back into the apartment and come and go as needed.”

Casey smiled. “Thank you Ethan.”

Ethan went to make breakfast while Casey had a shower. She joined Ethan for breakfast and he dropped her at her apartment. She made her way to her room and got changed first. She then packed a bag of clothes to take with her. She then went back to Ethan’s. She used the time alone to research the therapists she had the details of and booked one and had her first appointment a few days later.

She had a nap and woke with a start. It took her awhile to gain her bearings as to where she was. Just then there was a sound of a door opening. Casey got scared until she heard Ethan call out. She made her way to the living area. He could see she was scared.

“I had a nap and I woke with a start and I had only just got my bearings when you came back.”

He gave her a hug and kissed the top of his head.

“Everything is ok, Casey” he whispered. She went to pour them both some drinks whilst Ethan cooked dinner.

They enjoyed their meal and sat on the couch after dinner.

Casey told him how she was going to start therapy. Ethan was relieved she was going to seek professional help. He wanted to start a discussion around what a relationship would look like when she returned to work but he also wanted to savour this time also. Casey was relieved that she knew where she stood in relation to Ethan but she did not want to think too much on it right now. If she was being honest, she wanted to be fucked into oblivion again. The pleasant memories of last night came flooding back and she felt the familiar sensation at her core. She kissed Ethan, gently at first then more passionately. She then moved his hand to her centre.

“I know there are better coping mechanisms but I need you to fuck me.” She whispered in his ear. As much as Casey was right, there were more healthier ways to cope, he could not help but feel aroused so he obliged, as in a way he felt it would help make up for lost time.

They went several intense rounds, Casey fell into a blissful sleep and Ethan followed not long after. For nearly a fortnight it was a pattern that would be followed, work, dinner and mind blowing sex. After a couple of therapy sessions, Casey was given some more coping strategies which helped her not needing to use sex as a crutch. Casey was also starting to miss her friends also. Ethan understood but told Casey she was welcome to come over any time.

After nearly three weeks Casey returned to her apartment. She was used to the alone time whilst she was at Ethan’s but here it felt eerie. She knew that anyone on the night shift would be sleeping and that she was not alone but it was disconcerting.

Meanwhile back at Edenbrook Ethan was missing Casey, not only personally but professionally. He hoped she would be back at work soon, even if it was only part time. He was making his way back to the office when a familiar voice called out.

“Ethan, wait up” called out Tobias.

Ethan looked at his former friend perplexed.

“What are you doing here?”

“Meeting with the board, we will be doing research into the cure for the toxin and publishing it.”

“Congratulations” said Ethan. “Maybe even other toxins could be treated with this cure too.”

“Yeah? Maybe, hey listen, did you want to grab a coffee and catch up?”

Ethan looked at his watch, he had nothing on so he agreed. He suggested Derry Roasters.” Tobias agreed. They had coffee there before, a long time ago, an olive branch had been offered but it was declined and the memories of that haunted Tobias still but they were both older now and he hoped that they could put away the ghosts of their past.

They ordered their coffees and snacks and sat down. Tobias enquired as to how Casey and Raf were going, the team, and how Ethan was going with everything. Ethan was surprised when Tobias was not surprised when he stated that he was seeing Casey.

“You had been the talk of the post hospital grapevine, June for awhile was possessed on finding out the deal with you both but there was some interactions and dare I say an over protective posture that I had never seen from you that made me question the more scandalous rumours but seeing you with Casey that night solidified that any feelings were genuine.” Said Tobias.

“Well there’s truth to the rumours in that we did sleep together whilst she was in her intern year but it had nothing to do with the competition.”

“I figured that much, you have never been one for sexual favours, let alone entering into a relationship easily so she must be someone special.”

“She is, she helped me with Naveen, hell, she even did not give up on him when I did, we have had a rough patch but I feel we have come out the other side.”

Tobias was happy to hear this. He saw first hand how a reluctance in romantic relationships not only affected what was a good relationship but also his and Ethan’s friendship. Tobias wanted to chat further but he had to get back to work and so did Ethan.

“Well it was good to catch up bu…I mean Ethan. We must do so again.”

“I would very much like that, Tobias.”

Tobias could not believe how easy it was to slip back at calling Ethan buddy like he did for nearly three quarters of medical school and he was hopeful they could reconcile. Ethan too was optimistic, he had missed Tobias’s friendship a lot over the past 13 or so years and he hoped they could be friends again now.

A few days later Casey was again home alone, therapy had been going well and she was now eager to go back to work but the memories of what happened and who the hospital lost was haunting her. She had not even brought herself to meet Ethan at the hospital but little did she know that she was going to push herself out of her comfort zone. There was a knock at the door. It was Farley, their landlord. He had come with a sweet smelling bunch of flowers. She was mid thanking him when she noticed a mark on his wrist that he kept scratching. She asked him what was up, he said not much, the mark had been there for a bit but he was over his eyes seeing his gaming screen too bright. When questioned as to why he had not seen anyone about it, he stated that the deductible was too low. Casey stated that she worked as apart of a team that could do it pro bono. Farley was intrigued and she said “go get a coat, I will take you to the free clinic at Edenbrook and go from there.” Casey was now terrified but she knew that if she did nothing, neither would Farley. She found her new pink and grey sweater dress that Ethan had purchased and her leggings and met Farley. They made their way to Edenbrook and the free clinic.

“So far so good” Casey thinks to herself. They are met by Jackie and she takes them both in and immediately she notices Farley’s reaction to the light. Casey shows Jackie the rash and they agree he needs to be admitted. Casey took over from there stating that she would put him under the team.

Casey and Farley made their way to the team office. She was nervous for multiple reasons but ensuring something was done to get Farley healthy again was helping her keep it together.

They came to the office. Ethan looks up and is surprised to see Casey. He recognised the outfit he bought for her, and it looked better on her than what he thought. He decided to stay seated while acassy told him about what was going on. Ethan agreed to take Farley on and he paiged Sarah to take him to the patient room.

“Thanks Ethan, if I did not bring him he would have done nothing.”

He noted the fear in her voice.

“And how are you Casey, this is the first time you have been here since the attack.”

Casey took a breath. “I am keeping it together, ensuring Farley got some care has helped me keep it together. I am grateful for the push.”

Ethan nodded. They had not yet spoken how their relationship would look like at work so he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Casey smiled weakly and could see the conflicted desire swirling in Ethan’s eyes.

“I’ll come over later” she said and Ethan stated

“Don’t you dare change that outfit.”

Casey blushed and took her leave.

Meanwhile, June was having her session with a therapist. Ever since the attack she had questioned if her thirst for knowledge had impacted on her missing the red flags that lead to the attack. Even before the attack she could see that Casey was a good doctor who kept on improving, her contributions were always more than token and yet she still had the desire to only care about how her relationship with Ethan affected the team, for which she clearly saw that it did not. She had always wanted to know what made people tick and would use whatever means necessary to do so but this obsession killed two people needlessly. It was difficult to come to terms with, even the team as a whole missed the flags, explaining it away as over concern but Travis’s actions was text book revenge and she missed it. Today June decided that she needed a new work challenge. Sure Edenbrook had the best diagnostics team that she had enjoyed working on but maybe a change is what she needed. She knew Ethan was not going anywhere anytime soon and if she was been honest with herself, she could see Casey running the team one day. She needed to plan and would submit her resignation further down the line. It was scary starting somewhere new but she felt she needed to.

Later that day Casey was still at the hospital. The more she was there, the easier being there was. She also wanted to keep informed of what was happening with Farley. She bumped into Ethan and continued with him towards the emergency department. They arrived just as an ambulance pulled up and opened the doors. Ethan took charge and they paramedic went through the particulars.

Female, mid 50’s, found on the street, collapsed and in and out of consciousness. The gurney was brought in and Ethan froze. The woman that the paramedic was describing was Louise Ramsey. Casey looked at the arms and noted the needle marks.

“Ethan, this woman has overdosed, she needs naloxone.”

Ethan jolted back to reality and got the drug and administered it. The nurses took over from there.

Casey wanted to talk to Ethan about it.

“I know you want to talk but I need to be alone for a little bit. I’m sorry” he says, with a pained expression before walking off to an on call room.

He is awash with all sorts of emotion and he kicks a bin.

He lets out a groan of frustration and ponders what to do next.

—-

Authors note: and I will end it there. The next chapter will deal with Louise, and some more Tobias and Ethan reconciliation action and chapter 15 will be the last of the angstish moments with 16 being the happy ending. Thank you all for ending this far

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Meanwhile in the labs, both teams are working hard. Knowing what they are dealing with was a help and each idea and theory is bringing them closer to a cure. Tobias takes a quick brain break. He stops by a vending machine to grab a snack and goes for a small walk. He goes pass the room. He sees Ethan and Casey on the bed. He can see how overwhelmed with emotion Ethan is just in his body language. A pang of guilt runs through him, for missing the signs that the assistant was hellbent on revenge.

“Don’t worry buddy, I am not letting any more death happen on my watch” he says to himself. He heads back to the labs, even more determined than when he arrived. He comes across June on his way back.

“Why so determined Carrick? Not like you. Are you and Ethan friends? or is the desire to one up him that strong?”

“God is that all you can think about? Two people have died, June, one is in a coma and god knows if Casey is going to have the same fate.”

“So people die Tobias…”

“No but these deaths could have been prevented. There were red flags that I missed and surely you did too or were you too busy scheming whatever you were scheming”

“I was not scheming…”

“What so Ethan and Casey coming to Kenmore was not some scheme of yours?”

“Well I needed information on their relationship?”

“No, you wanted the team for you…”

“Not true…”

“So you being furious when Ethan got his job back and going on sabbatical straight away was what… a figment of my imagination?”

June is affronted.

“She has no right being on the team. She slept with Ethan. To get there.

“Yeah and I have seen plenty of evidence to contradict that, also Ethan does not do sexual favours. You have told me all of her solves June. Some without the help of Ethan. All I know is your scheming to run the team has killed two people and I will fucking die trying to prevent more and just so we are crystal clear, our arrangement is over.”

He walks away. He comes back to the labs and gets stuck in.

Each new theory brings them closer and closer until finally they have a serum that attaches to the toxin and it is able to be cleared. They make two doses, one for Raf and the other for Casey. Raf gets his first, as he was the most severe case and then they go to the room to give the dose to Casey. Ethan does the honours and Tobias can see how relieved Ethan is. The teams are sent home after their marathon effort. Naveen is even appreciative for the team from Kenmore coming across. Before he left, Tobias caught up with Ethan. They agreed to meet the next morning for coffee.

Later that day the toxin was clear from Casey and the room. Ethan walked in and embraced Casey, she was then transferred to another room. Casey is exhausted so Ethan lets her rest.

That night Ethan has trouble sleeping. He knew Casey was fine but it did not stop the nightmares of losing her. He arrived at the hospital early and snuck into her room to watch her sleep. Seeing her sleep helped eased his nerves. He knew that they would need to have a discussion about them but for now he took peace in knowing that she survived. He looked at his watch and went to Derry Roasters. He ordered his and Tobias’s coffee and went to sit down. Tobias arrived just as Ethan received their coffees. Tobias made his way over.

“You remembered my order?”

“How hard is it to remember black coffee?”

“True, I am still in shock you now have milk in yours.”

“It is still black normally, but I do like the Vienna here.”

“How are you after the last few days?”

“Alive, still processing, just relieved that Casey and Rafael made it.”

“I am just glad that there was no more death to come from it.”

Ethan nods in agreement.

“I am sorry for my part in this.”

“What part?” Asked Ethan in bemusement.

“I courted the asshole, missed the red flags and told Dr Hirata what I was upto.”

“We all missed the red flags, there were a few times where looking back now I should have picked up on the assistant”

“Yeah but me telling June played into her game of finding ways to out you and Casey which lead to the heist.”

“I think we both did, even Casey seemed skeptical when she told me about it.”

“I am curious, you and Casey, how genuine? I know I said otherwise at the softball game but I have seen too many interactions between you two to make me question”

“It’s the real deal, I knew I felt something for her in her intern year whilst we were secretly treating Naveen, we went to the medical symposium and I acted on my feelings. We then decided to date in secret, I quit, she was suspended and I realized I loved her. I told her, Naveen gets cured and I dared to hope that we could keep going but Naveen took the role of chief and I was Casey’s boss. I ended it, she deserved to have her achievements not questioned and she also deserved more than a clandestine affair and if I was her boss there was no way she was getting both. I went on sabbatical and came back and the feelings were still there. We have in the last few weeks been in an arrangement but I told her I was done with that, I still love her and she deserves a relationship out in the open. I will discuss it with her in due course again.”

Tobias sat there in shock but also happy for his former friend.

“Ethan Ramsey in love, I never thought I would see the day, I am happy for you, just be careful of June, I would hate for her to ruin things for you both.”

“Thank you, not just for reaffirming that I need to keep an extra eye on June but for bringing the team over. I know you feel partially responsible for the attack but even if you weren’t, the fact that you came across speaks volumes to the physician you have become.”

“It was a pleasure, I was very determined to not let her die, if what I have heard about her professionally is true then she is going to go on to do great things.”

“She will, that is for sure.”

“It has been nice to catch up Ethan”

“It sure has Tobias, it has been too long.”

“It sure has.”

Tobias looked at his watch. He has to head back. They part ways. Both hopeful that they have taken the first step to reconciliation.

Both Casey and Raf are improving well after the attack. The funeral for Bobby and Danny is set for a week after the attack. Raf is advised to avoid the funeral, his immunity is not great but Casey has clearance to go. She is apprehensive but still goes, she needs closure. It was a moving service. She says a few words at the funeral. She wants to cry but she is emotionally numb. She is still questioning why she survived and they did not and the dreams she is having are brutal. Some are just replays of the attack, others have different outcomes. She attends the wake. It is as if she is going through the motions and she hates it. She stays to the end. Ethan stayed too, keeping his eyes on Casey. She sees him and makes her way over. She hugs him but the tears she knows are there do not come. He asks her if she would come to his tonight to which she agrees. They drive to Ethan’s in silence, Ethan reaches across the console and places his hand on her knee. Casey smiles sadly. They arrive and make their way to his apartment. They sit on the couch.

“How are you going Ethan?” She asks.

“Not good Casey, I know you are alive and I am happy about that but the fact I nearly lost you is still haunting me. I have had nightmares since that night of you dying. All I know is that I am in love with you still and not being able to say it to you again was tearing me part.”

“You still love me?”

“More than ever” says Ethan as he cups her cheek in his hand.

“I would very much like to kiss …”

Before he could get the rest of the words out Casey kissed him on the lips. He returns her kiss. They just kiss for a while.

“I want you to make love to me Ethan.” Said Casey.

Ethan wants too but he does not want to rush Casey.

“Are you sure?”

“Very much so”

He kisses her again. He gets up off the couch and picks her up bridal style and carries her to his bedroom. They enter and he kisses her again, more deeply this time. He unzips her dress whilst she unbuttons his shirt. He walks her over to his bed. She lays down and Ethan joins her. They kiss and finish disrobing each other. He kisses down her neck and across her chest, which causes Casey to moan. His hands move lower to her centre. He runs a finger through her folds and inserts two fingers. He has Casey on the edge, he positions himself so he can enter her. She mewls in protest but moans as he enters her. He starts off slow, giving her time to adjust. She moves her legs to curl around his lower back which changes the angle slightly. She starts to thrust in and out. He ups the pace and eventually she starts to clench. He knows she is close and so is he. He kisses her again and picks up the pace. Casey reaches her climax with a scream and that triggers Ethan’s. They lay there in each other's arms and Casey starts to cry.

Ethan allows her to cry. They eventually fall asleep. Casey awakes with a start from a nightmare. She is confused as to where she is. Ethan wakes up and assures her that she is ok. They fall back to sleep.

Ethan wakes up and watches her sleep, still relieved that she is alive. Casey stirs and awakens. Ethan gets up and makes breakfast and brings the tray back bed.

“Thank you Ethan.”

They eat their meal in companionable silence.

“Ethan, when I was in that room, you said you were done with being in secret. Is that still the case or did you just say that to distract me from the fact that I could have died?”

Ethan understood why Casey asked that but deep down he was still shocked that she had that thought..

“I meant it then Casey and I am meaning it now.

I never stopped loving you and even though I have enjoyed being in an arrangement, you deserve more than that.”

“But what about the concerns you had before we broke up?”

“A part of me still has those but as you said, the people whose opinions you care about know the truth and let’s be honest, you have been on the team now for several months and your record speaks for itself but I will only be open if you are ready.”

Casey kisses him.

“I am happy to be open when I come back to work Ethan.”

Ethan smiles and returns her kiss. They spend the day in bed. Despite being with Ethan, Casey was still dealing with her own demons from the attack. Casey feels that she needs to speak to a professional about it and she also wants to get back to work. They see a therapist at Edenbrook, Dr Phelps. Ethan comes with her to the appointment. Casey does better than she thinks she would coming back to Edenbrook so soon after her stay. It was sad not seeing Bobby and she knew it would be sad not seeing Danny. Dr Phelps assured her that what she was feeling was a normal part of survivors' guilt. Casey also mentioned she was eager to get back to work. There had been no conditions of how she had to be to come back but Dr Phelps wanted her to at least take two weeks off and come back part time and go from there. Casey was agreeable to this.

She and Ethan agreed to Casey staying with him for two weeks. Ethan took the first week off. When Casey was not having a therapy session, they found solace in each other. Casey knew that using sex as a coping mechanism was not the most healthy thing but it helped her feel alive. The week that Ethan went back to work came. Casey enjoyed being by herself. She read some of Ethan’s books and went to a few therapy sessions. She also had a back to work meeting with Naveen and Ethan, as well as HR where they discussed Casey coming back to work part time. They also brought up their relationship. That it was not an arrangement, a fling but a bona fide relationship. Naveen was happy that they were back together. Despite Ethan’s position they agreed with Naveen’s blessing that Ethan could continue to be her manager. Ethan was relieved. Naveen was happy and so was Casey. Ethan and Casey had already discussed keeping work at work and personal away from work and they agreed to be professional at work. Ethan stated he would disclose to the team when she came back. Casey was apprehensive but also happy to be out in the open. She knew that June was hellbent on finding out what was the deal between her and Ethan, she was optimistic that her and Ethan being in the open but also the approval of HR it would make her think twice in her plans.

————

Authors note: I am looking forward to writing out June and her end is coming. Also there will be a bit of pain coming also so do not say I did not warn you.

For those who have read this far thank you ans dor those who wish to be added to my tags please let me know.

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