#post 1x07

Style meant it when he said he deserved to die at Fadel’s hands. He never wanted any of this to happen. He could have told Fadel that he never personally spoke to the cop and didn't even know about Kant being coerced into becoming an informant or Fadel being a hitman until after they started dating. He could say that he simply agreed to seduce Fadel in exchange for a car.

Somehow, that sounds just as bad. And if he puts all the blame on Kant, that makes him more of a snitch. Style never even wanted to be a snitch.

“I really do love you,” Style says to him, keeping his eyes on the road, “Even when you point your gun at me, my heart flutters in my chest-”

“Shut up,” Fadel says, pressing the gun further into his side.

Style rolls his eyes at the order. As if Fadel would shoot him when he's the one in control of the car.

“I can't be quiet on car rides,” Style says, “It makes them go by too slowly. The music is great, but we already established that we have different tastes. Let's talk-”

“Style-”

“Fadel,” Style counters, “I’m bored. Let's talk.”

“I'm not going to talk to some fucking snitch.”

Style groans at that, “Whatever you tell me will die with me! You’ll make sure of that!”

“No.”

Apparently, Style will just have to deal with Fadel’s decision, so he focuses on the road until sunset. It's only when they are running on fumes that he pulls over.

“Did I say you could stop?” Fadel asks as Style pulls into the parking lot of a fuel station.

“I'm sorry,” Style says, hopping out, “I didn't realize your car runs on psychological, emotional, and sexual tension! You should have told me you were this environmentally friendly.”

“Get back in the car.”

“I'm serious. I'm proud of you,” Style says as he pulls his card out. He is a gentleman, after all. He is going to pay for everything on this impromptu trip, “Regular, right? Some people think they are pampering their car by getting a higher quality than they need. It's truly unnecessary. Please tell me you're not one of those people.”

Fadel says nothing. Maybe he is that kind of person and is just embarrassed. Style won't call his boyfriend out on it.

“I got you,” Style says with a grin, “You just relax!”

“Do not use your card.”

Style lets out a scoff, “I am a gentleman! I want to pay, I mean it-”

“So that your location can be tracked through your purchases?” Fadel asks suspiciously.

Oh. Style truly didn't think of that. This is another reason he loves Fadel. He's smart.

“Well, then how else am I supposed to take care of you?” Style asks, “I mean it, Fadel! I am a mechanic! Masculine and tough. A true man! It’s in my nature to take charge-”

“I have cash,” Fadel says, getting out as well, “Walk into the store. I am right behind you. Don’t think of doing anything stupid to try and get away from me.”

“That would be stupid because that's the last thing I want to do,” Style says, putting a hand on his hip. Despite this being the honest truth, Fadel looks unimpressed and continues to look that way until they pay in cash and go back to the car. Then, Fadel gets back in the passenger seat so that Style can take control as every higher being in existence intended. He presses Regular Unleaded, lifts the nozzle, and inserts it into the jeep. He then flicks the lever so it will automatically fill the tank and walks over and rests his arms on the rolled down window before smiling at Fadel adoringly. Because that's what he truly feels. Adoration and love, even now.

Maybe especially now.

“I really do love you,” Style says gently, “I'm sorry if my initially uninformed involvement in spying on you broke your heart and made you think otherwise. This is why I wanted you to tell me about your real career yourself! I wanted to help you out of whatever life you found yourself in! We could have run away together. Fled the country. I think Japan would have been good. I could work for Toyota there. You think they’d hire me?”

Fadel still says nothing. He's a man of such few words. Then again, Style likes that. If Fadel talked as much as he did, they would be interrupting each other all the time. He wishes Fadel would talk a little more though. Share things with him. Be vulnerable with him. Fadel might need a good cry. Once that thought enters his brain, Style knows it to be true. Maybe that should be his mission, to get Fadel to have a cathartic sob-fest where Style comforts him and tries his absolute best not to crack jokes.

“I think they would hire me,” Style continues, “Pa, too. I would need to bring him with us. He really likes you, you know! He likes you better than any other guy I’ve dated and he has happened to cross paths with. I mean…it's not hard. I’ve dated a couple of assholes. But he recognizes a good person when he sees one. He even told me he approved of you and wanted you around more often. He thinks you're a good influence and that you balance me out.”

In response, Fadel points the gun at Style’s face. Style smiles and kisses the tip of it sweetly. It's only then that Fadel jerks the gun back and looks at Style as if he has lost it.

He has lost it. For Fadel. This hiccup isn't going to get in the way of what he feels. He was afraid when he woke up by the pool, but now he has come to a decision. He's spending this trip with three goals in mind.

1. Find Kant - preferably not dead or seriously injured - and ensure he makes it home safe.

2. Find Bison and talk him down. He's pretty sure Bison is more dangerous than Fadel is. His prettiness and petite stature are both incredibly disarming and work in his favor. Style respects it.

3. Make it clear to Fadel that Style is unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him, like Bella was in love with Edward in Twilight. Their relationship probably isn't even as toxic as theirs. There is no creepy, Italian vampire council or ninety year age gap, although Fadel may currently thirst for his blood. But that doesn't matter. If Bella and Edward can overcome all those things and magically conceive a child, then Style and Fadel can too.

“Why are you just staring at me? Why did you kiss my gun? What is wrong with you?”

Style snaps out of his dreamy thoughts and ambitions as he meets Fadel’s glare.

“I was just thinking of us magically conceiving a baby.”

Link to first two fics in series:

Part 1: At Least We're Not on this Dark Road Alone (Fadel/Style)

Part 2: Through the Deep Waters (Kant/Bison, side Fadel/Style)

Style met Kant and Babe right after their parents died. Their uncle had been friends with Pa since they were kids. Pa even went on a few dates with Kant’s ma when they were teenagers. Despite Style meeting Kant when he was nine, it honestly surprising they hadn't met sooner in life. But once they did, they hung out all the time. Other than Boonterm, Kant and Babe are the closest thing Style has had to siblings.

But still, he has never been under the assumption that Kant or Babe share the same sentiment. They have both faced a lot of loss, but they have each other. Style understands that he does not compare in the scheme of things. He's a close friend to them, maybe a cousin metaphorically. While the trip down here this morning had been oddly beautiful, meaningful, and peaceful, Style knew he might have to tear every single bit of the trust he built with Fadel down if he found out Bison went through with killing Kant. If Bison killed Kant, Style would never be able to let that go.

Relief washes over him when he sees Kant sleeping on the couch. He looks exhausted, and his eyes look slightly puffy, as if he has been crying. That throws Style off enough. He's only seen Kant cry a few times, and he remembers the circumstances of every time he witnessed.

- Kant cried over missing his parents on his first birthday without them.

- He cried when his uncle died.

- He cried when Ma died. She was very present and kind to Kant and Babe. It probably felt like losing a mother all over again.

- Style didn't see it in person, but Kant called him while Style was visiting his father’s cousins up north. Kant was embarrassed and ashamed over a panic attack he had at Babe’s family swimming event. Style tried his best to be comforting, but he inevitably ended up trying even harder to lighten the mood. Although, that is the good thing about Kant. He is one of the few who seems to appreciate that.

- Kant also cried when Boonterm died. Kant and Babe loved him too. They helped Style with the funeral.

The last four circumstances happened all within the same year, with Boonterm’s death being at the tail end of a horrible one for all of them. Although, Kant didn't realize just how horrible it really was for Style. Kant never liked Gun and would say as much. He was pretty critical over Gun dating a seventeen year old when he was twenty-four. But Style just dismissed it as Kant deciding to be oddly protective. When Kant’s instincts about Gun and whatever less than noble ulterior motives he had ended up being right, Style felt embarrassed and played. That's why he didn't tell Kant about what happened at the party until four years later. They both drank on Style’s twenty-first birthday and it wasn't a planned confession, but drunken, twenty-one Style must have deemed it as the perfect time to finally tell someone what had happened to him besides Boonterm.

Kant had tears in his eyes as Style managed to keep the story to-the-point and nonchalant. He didn't cry, or else that instance would have made the list. Kant did, however, punch a wall, pace the room with anger, and demand that Style tell him where Gun was.

Gun moved to Phuket a month after Style broke up with him. He got a job in maintenance at one of the resorts. He never planned on staying with Style. Occasionally, Style checks where he is in life. When he checked six months ago, Gun had a wife and son and was recently promoted to general manager at one of the nicer resorts in the area. He and Fadel almost passed it. When Style saw a road sign for it, he decided to take Fadel on a detour and show him the overlook instead.

Of course, he didn't tell Fadel the full reason for the detour, just like he never told Kant about Gun’s whereabouts. All he has told either of them is that Gun is no longer a problem. Kant has seemed to let it go, although he did bug him for a while about getting the names of the other people who participated. Kant stopped when Style started shutting down whenever it was brought up, and then just tried to be more present and caring for a while.

So despite Kant likely not seeing him as a brother, Style knows he cares about him. Style would go as far as to say that Kant loves him. He assumes Kant will be happy to see him, considering their circumstances.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty,” Style says, gently tapping Kant’s shoulder. When Kant’s eyes pop open and he turns his head to look at him, Style gives him a smile.

“Hey!” Style says, “Fadel and I thought we would come visit. We’re about to make lunch-”

Style is cut off by a gut wrenching sound, followed by Kant sitting up, throwing his arms around Style’s waist, and sobbing into his shirt.

It's a new bullet point for the list. But unlike the rest of the bullet points, Style is sort of lost when it comes to the reason.

“Did you miss me that much?” Style asks, awkwardly patting Kant’s back, “What’s the matter? You don't cry over me! You cry over death and occasionally when you feel needlessly inadequate. That's it! I keep track.”

But Kant doesn't answer. If anything his cries get worse as his hold around Style tightens.

Okay. Now he's concerned.

“Hey,” Style says, abandoning the awkward patting and becoming more soothing with the physical comfort, “Kant. What's wrong? Are you worried about Babe? If you are, don't be. I called Pa. He picked Babe up, so he's staying over at my house with him. Babe is fine, Pa is fine, even the cat is fine! Babe took him too! Pa sent Fadel a picture of him cuddled up on his lap if you want to see-”

“You were dead!”

Style glances down at Kant incredulously, “Nuh-uh. I never died once. I would remember something like that! You know my memory, Kant. It's impeccable. On the way down here, I was showing Fadel how good it is-”

“Fadel killed you!” Kant sobs, before lifting his head to look up at him. When Style meets his eyes, Kant immediately becomes inconsolable again and presses his face into Style’s stomach.

“Kant,” Style says, trying to get him to sit back up, “Hey. Hey, look at me! I'm fine. Maybe you had a really bad dream-”

Kant shakes his head, keeping himself firmly in place, “B-Bison said Fadel…It's my fault. It's all my fault. I dragged you into this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It’s my fault it's my fault it's my-”

“Kant,” Style says again, becoming slightly more forceful as he puts just enough space between them so that he can sit on the couch next to him, “Snap out of it. Don't make me do something stereotypical and cruel, like slap you across the face. Neither of us want that, just like neither of us are dead! I'm so happy you're okay.”

Even though Kant seems the opposite of okay right now.

“We’re both fine. Understand?” Style asks.

Kant shakes his head, “No.”

Well, Style understands. Their boyfriends love them too much to ever kill them. If Kant wasn't still finding a way to produce a fresh round of tears, Style would gush about how he is madly in love with Fadel. He would talk about how much closer they got last night, despite sex not even being a factor. He may also tell him that he feels inspired by the wedding he officiated, and that it made him want to propose. Not just as a joke where he coughs up his own ring. He wants to do it for real. He loves him he loves him he loves him he loves him-

“B-Bison said Fadel killed you,” Kant gets out, snapping Style from his obsessive thoughts, “He said that Fadel made it painless, but that you died. I pulled you into this. It's my fault-”

“How is something that didn't even happen your fault?” Style says, then lightly shoves Kant’s shoulder before gesturing at himself, “Look at me, man. How could Fadel stop this body’s heartbeat? It would be impractical of him. It's too easy on the eyes, and he gets too much enjoyment out of it! Not in his best interest. Style is here to stay.”

Style thinks that will lighten the mood. For a moment, it works. Kant’s face goes lax as he processes what Style is telling him. However, that only lasts for a few seconds before Kant’s expression screws up again.

What happened to him? Kant has never cried over him, and that is something Style knows for a fact due to his list. Maybe some of Kant’s grief for Ma was also for him since he knew Style was going through a loss Kant himself had already experienced pretty intimately himself. And Style does remember Kant getting teary after he finally told him about Gun, but he was never sure if that was because he was that upset over it happening, Style keeping it from him for as long as he did, or because he cracked a bone in his hand when he punched the wall.

This is very different. It's starting to make Style uncomfortable and worried. He isn't worth all this angst. But Kant doesn't seem capable of just moving past it, so Style supposes they’ll need to talk through it.

“Give me a second,” Style says, standing back up, “I'm going to tell Fadel to get started on the food and that I will come in to help once you're calmer-”

“Don't,” Kant chokes out, grabbing onto his arm, “I don't want you around him.”

Style tsks at that, “Don't deprive me of my man!”

“Style, please.”

“He's NOT going to kill me,” Style says, “He thought he had to because of the snitch stuff-”

“You aren't the snitch. I am,” Kant says hoarsely, “Tell him to kill me.”

Style groans at that, “Fadel isn't killing anyone. I promise. He believed me when I explained our situations. He tried to let me go last night, so I had to handcuff myself to the bed. And then we bore our hearts to each other. Not even our bodies, despite how tempting that was! I have never loved someone like I love him and I will never love anyone else ever again.”

“Huh?” Kant asks eloquently.

“I miss him!” Style wails, trying to pull out of Kant’s grasp, “I need to see him! It’s been ten minutes!”

Read first story (Fadel/Style) here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62210875#main

Bison has never actually wanted someone dead until now. Every murder he has committed was simply business because his job is to kill bad people. He only wants to kill his parent’s killer because it's the right thing to do. They were the only biological family he had and he should avenge them. He misses them in a way that feels distant, desperate, and confusing. Those things - along with skill - make him want to kill the man who ended their lives. He fits the mold because he's a bad person. 

With Kant, it's pure rage and fucking heartbreak that have made Bison want Kant dead for the last week. 

He hates him. He hates him so much that he keeps him drugged all the way to Phuket. It's non-stop driving except for two stops at a fuel station. Even bathroom trips are done on the side of the road where he can keep his unconscious boyfriend within his line of vision. 

He hates him. 

He keeps his phone off. He knows the way there. He has visited his property enough times to not need GPS. He doesn't even turn his phone on for music. He turns on the radio for thirty seconds and it's a song he and Kant danced to at a club. He considers breaking the radio altogether but figures he might need it after Kant is dead. The thought of driving back alone all while leaving Kant’s body in the ocean feels sickening. He might drive off a cliff if it comes to that. He can't do that to Fadel, although Fadel is probably still mad at him for getting them into this mess. Bison doesn't think Fadel hates him - not the way Bison hates Kant. Fadel would have probably done this for him if Bison asked. Like usual, he would have taken care of everything. He has always done that. As soon as Mother adopted Fadel, Bison clung to him. He was nurturing, caring, protective, and fun in a way Keen simply wasn't. 

Keen still isn't, even though their logic technically designates Keen as their brother too. But Keen is too perfect for that to happen, Mother’s clear favorite due to being a baby when he was brought in - years before either of them were. This should have happened to him instead. He's technically their brother too. It's only fair that he fucks up this monumentally for once in his life. 

But no. That comes down to Bison. It usually does. Bison is the one who is always stupid and optimistic. Fadel may have fallen for Style against the odds, but Bison doesn't even want to share the blame with his brother. Fadel may have been miserable (despite countering claims) but he was somehow content. Bison just wanted him to find love again. It may have stemmed from wanting love for himself, but Bison remembers his strong, sensitive, affectionate, slightly shy, but generally happy older brother. That was the person he had been prior to falling in love and while he was in the thick of it. He also remembers hearing Fadel stifle cries into his pillow at night, refusing to leave his bed during the day, and becoming a complete shell of himself before turning into a guarded, quiet, and stern soldier who lived his life by routine, organization, keeping his head down, and not letting anyone close to him at all.

He had just wanted the Fadel from before back. Despite Style’s methods of seduction being questionable, they somehow worked. Any hope of bringing the old Fadel back relied on someone who could be spontaneous, outgoing, slightly weird, and unbothered by Fadel’s rough edges and any potential threats he threw out. Style provided that in spades. On top of that, he had an almost alarming disregard for what other people thought. He always did whatever made him happy and didn't care if it came off as odd. It had been contagious, especially for Fadel. Style’s qualities brought out some of Fadel’s qualities from before, ones Bison had feared were long dead. If those qualities had actually been dead, then Style had started the process of resurrecting them. 

Bison doesn't think there is a chance for that Fadel to come back again, not after finding out it had all been a lie. So not only is Bison losing his boyfriend - all while Fadel loses his second and likely last love - Bison is also losing the brother he had missed so badly. 

He missed him so fucking much. And now, Fadel is gone forever. On top of that, Bison has no one to blame but himself. 

And Kant.

It's Kant’s fault. 

Bison hates him. He also hates the thought of killing him. But Kant had no qualms about breaking Bison’s heart. He also had no qualms about destroying Fadel’s spirit by getting Style involved. Before, Bison was going to make this quick and take Kant by surprise. That's not the case anymore. Bison is killing him for all of the heartbreak and betrayal. There isn't any way around that. But Kant brought Style into the fold. He's the reason Fadel came back to himself again, and he's the reason why he will never come back.

Bison isn't going to make it quick. Not anymore. 

Kant is going to die, and he is going to die facing his worst fear. He had no issue making Bison face his own worst fear of his brother being completely destroyed. What's some water in comparison?