It feels strangely appropriate that the last movie I watched before my “first time™️” was a vampire movie.

My first partner was just a hair older than me. She had been visiting almost nightly for nearly a month, sneaking into my window after midnight, spending a few hours with me in very compromising positions and leaving.

Then came the Halloween party, with Underworld playing, that she led me to a back room and nearly pulled us into the act then and there…foiled only by another couple sneaking in to do nearly the same.

But the night ended, we went our different ways home.

Until after midnight. Where she stood at my window, asking for me to invite her in. When she decided she’d waited long enough, decided for us both that it was time for our next step.

So it’s fitting, in a strange sense. That like so many other stories about nights and vampires I still wonder, years later, what my choice was. If there was choice. Or if it was less consensual and more hormonal.